All comics by Commander_t

Profile

 

by Commander_t
5-17-05
H-hello, I'd like to join the Heroes Alliance of America.
Ok, what type of super power do you have?
Its my head. It's incredibly immense...
Oh... really?
Is that a problem?
Yes, the Heroes Alliance of America doesn't accept fat heads... fat head.

 

by Commander_t
5-25-05
YOU'VE GOT PORN!!
...
HALLELUJAH!!! I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF THE UNITED STATES!!
Ooooo, me love united state long time!!!
Whoa there!, Pepe! Don't get too excited now! I've got to get off!

 

by Commander_t
6-02-05
RANDOM COMIC LAYOUT? Y/N?
Sweet God! I told myself I'd keep off the juiciness of the button!!
RANDOM COMIC LAYOUT? Y/N?
Lord, what am I going to do? That button sucks the creativity from me!
YOU'VE GOT PORN!!
It was the only thing I could think of! I'm such a horrible person!! *sob*

 

by Commander_t
6-02-05
Somewhere, deep inside Suburbia...
Class, we have a very special guest here at St. Nicholas School. Give a hand for our president, Mr. President!!
Uh, thank you Sister Mary. It's great to be here to speak to your fine young...
Er, students about the American Political Process.
They're all retards. You didn't tell me this.
Well, I...
99% of politicians worship Satan anyway. I doubt they'd want to hear that.

 

by Commander_t
6-02-05
Hey Amish! I see you've made yet another return.
Yes, I have. I posted Amish and the Random Comic Layout Button version three.
Yes, I've read it. Total crap. The public needs more Army Guy.
No, I just need to get out of this slump I'm in with writing.
But didn't you write four pages worth of story for a future No-Point Lad and Dismal-Hope Kid?
Yeah... HEY! How'd you know that?! OHMYGOD!! MY CREATIVE EGGS!! YOU COOKED THEM DIDN'T YOU?! YOU EVIL, EVIL MUSE!!!

 

by Commander_t
6-03-05
...
I need your answer now, Mr. Cthulhu.
Uh, what is 'nature sucks' Alex?
Judges? *momentary dramatic pause* CORRECT! Now quit dancing around.
BEAT THAT KEN JENNINGS!!! Stop, drop, and roll Trebek! Stop, drop and roll!!

 

by Commander_t
6-03-05
Hey! What are you staring at?!
God...
Where? I don't see him? Are you going to make a joke about my head or not?!
Your head is perfection... here, take some of this. It will help loosen your brain matter, to make your head as light as a baloon so that I may travel to see God?
Uh, was that supposed to be some sort of hippie joke about my head or some other hippie thing? If it was, I totally didn't get it.

 

by Commander_t
6-03-05
Hi, I have a fat head, what's your problem?
JUMPING HYENAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
That doesn't help our situations any. Uh, are you a mental patient by any chance?
JUMPING HYENAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!
CHRIST! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! ALL I HAVE IS A FAT HEAD! I HAVE NO MOBNEY!! *sob*
JUMPING HYENAS AND LAUGHING KANGAROOS!! I'VE LIVED IN A ZOO!!

 

by Commander_t
6-03-05
So what's this thing the Writer wanted you to go to?
Some place behind the Cosmic-Drive In. He telepathically sent me the message in a dream like I told you.
God! My only friend on this planet, Dismal-Hope Kid is going insane with visions of the Writer!
Shut it! I know what I was shown! It's around here somewhere!
Whatever. This is all an optical illusion. There's no point in trying to find this place. I'm going back to the Drive-In. At least the other guys are saner than you.
Alan wont like it. But if you want to go, then go. I'll find out where the Writer is eventually, and when I find him...!

 

by Commander_t
6-03-05
Whooo! Hey baby! Wint tu coom huum wid yir deddy?
Um, no. My father is dead. I seek Valhalla, so that I may join him. Do you know where Valhalla is?
Vahaha iz riit heer! *grab*
ECH! You sick man! Odin should not allow you anywhere near Valhalla!
I hed a dig nemed Oodun. Hee gut run ovurr... bi ah raandiir! HAHAHA!!!
Odin, please! Be kind to his soul! He does not know of what he is speaking right now! He has gotten ahold of Loki's Special Mixture of Lemonade!!

 

by Commander_t
6-04-05
Where is it?! Alan said it would be here somewhere.
HOLA!!! I AM A MIGHTY WIZARDd!!
If you're a wizard, then send me to the Writer so that I may have revenge!
SO BE IT!!
Will Dismal-Hope Kid get his revenge on the Writer? Tune in, same Dismal Channel, Same Dismal Time to find out!
Whoa... Hey, are you the Writer of No-Point Lad and Dismal-Hope Kid by any chance?
Ah! A new fan! How did you find No-Point Lad and Dismal-Hope Kid? Was it via rec.arts.comics.creative or stripcreator.com?

 

by Commander_t
6-05-05
Hey Captain Blinks, I told you a thousand times now: QUIT WINKING AT ME!! I'm not like that!
I cannot stop blinking!! Its a natural process of the human body! Plus I've only got one eye. It'll look like I'm winking at you...
I'M NOT BUYING IT CAPTAIN BLINKS!!! TIME TO BURN!!!
No, no Mr. Cthulhu! Seriously, I like the women!!
THERE'S NO WOMEN ON THIS ISLAND!!! BUURRRNN!!
AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

by Commander_t
6-05-05
Army Guy?
Yiz Miztur Prizidint?
God... can you do something for me?
Enethiin fir da Yuneetud Stets!
Michael has... holed himself up int the Lincoln Bedroom with Mr. Press Secretary. We need a man in there to take him out!
SWIT GUD MEEZTUR PRIZEDUNT! I DUNT WUNT TU DI!!

 

by Commander_t
6-06-05
ZAP!! THE ALL NATURAL POWER DRINK... Cut! Somebody wake that guy up! From the top people...
ZAP!! THE ALL NATURAL POWER DRINK!! CUT!! What is it with this guy? He was all hyped up on this stuff a minute ago.
WAKE UP!! He's not waking up... shake him. Oh my God! He's dead! ZAP!! THE ALL NATURAL SUICIDE JUICE!!

 

by Commander_t
6-06-05
You're an alien?
Yes.
Well then get to work.
Uh.. I'm sorry, what?
Give me an anal probe, duh! I wont be abducted and not have that experience!
ECH! Most people hate that stuff! I don't give anal probes anyway! I reveal the secrets of the universe mentally... but if you really want an anal probe...

 

by Commander_t
6-07-05
Uh, hey Jesus. What are you doing here?
I just finished up with your mother.
MOMMA!
oh yeah, i'm good.
NOOOOO!!!!!

 

by Commander_t
6-07-05
...
What are you? A terrorist?
No, I'm just a guy in a garbage can.
Yeah right terrorist! Where's Army Guy or Captain Stupid when you need them?
I'm just a homeless bum in a garbage can! CRAP! I'm going to have to find another way to get food... *sob*

 

by Commander_t
6-09-05
Uh, hey. I don't know if you know this or not, nut you have a fat head.
Its true, I do have a fat head. Let's be out with it now... tell me my head will explode if it grows any larger...
But...
Or tell me my head is so fat it could have its own zip code...
I wanted you to be my new human shield.
I'm sorry Mr. President, but this head doesn't go to just anybody. You've got to show me the money!

 

by Commander_t
6-10-05
Shh..!! The two giants are about to face off!
*ROAR!!*
*CORNHOLE!!*
Such ferocity between these goliaths!!
*ROAR?*
*CORNHOLE?*
What's this?! Godzilla has surrendered! Oh, such a horrible day for humanity...!!! What was until now no entry has become the in-and-out door! *sob*
*CORNHOLE CORNHOLE CORNHOLE!!!!!!*

 

by Commander_t
6-10-05
*CORNHOLE?!*
What's this?! Id Godzilla fighting back? HE IS, HE IS!! He has managed to shoot Atomic Death Fire from his ass!! It's a miracle!!
HOORAY!! Godzilla has saved Tokyo once more!... oh wait...
*ROAR!*

 

by Commander_t
6-10-05
*ROAR!*
AHHH!!!!!!
*ROOOAAR...*
Hey, handsome. Want to go back to your place so we can get to know each other better?
Oh no! She slipped Godzuki a mickey! There's no telling what will happen now!
I'm ready for you now, Godzuki.
*RO...*

 

by Commander_t
6-10-05
Thank you, Godzuki. You were wonderful.
Poor Godzuki...! Taken advantage of by that whore...! Where is she headed anyway?
*ROO...*
Wait a minute!! That's not the woman who had her way with Godzuki! That's... that's... FATHER MALONEY!!
Godzuki will never know what hit him tomorrow morning. I'm such a dirty boy!!

 

by Commander_t
6-10-05
Hey Amish, did you see this comic Scyess made at: stripcreator.com/c omics/ Scyess/ 290712? He totally ripped you off!
Really? Wow, I guess he did!
And you're not angry?!
It's Toiletron-5000, mine was Toiletron 3000. He's got the technology edge. But I'm not angry, it just proves to me at least one person has read my comics to get inspiration.
Uh, besides the initiation strip if I remember correctly, I don't think he has.
...

 

by Commander_t
6-11-05
Wuu! Eem surree Meestir Beeg Hidd Maan. I dint no yu wur en heer.
Oook, Ell jist bee leevin... gooin owt dis durr... riit heer...
Eev gut tu tuch itt!! Yur hidd iz jist su weerd!! *POKE POKE POKE*

 

by Commander_t
6-11-05
Ever since Mr. President tried to buy Head, he'd been getting offers from people wanting a piece of his action...
There had been others like this guy who could only stare off into space, transfixed on Head's size...
But then, Head couldn't take much more of this pressure that was building up; it had to be released eventually...
Uh, I'm nut intuh dat stuf...
I'M GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RUN YOU OUT LIKE A GRANDMA ON EX-LAX!!!

 

by Commander_t
6-11-05
Dear Toiletron Industries...
I'm writing to you about your 7001 Experimental Toiletron. It was a fine machine. It held nicely upon regular usage. However, it was upon having anal leakage the product became shaky...
I regret to inform you that I cannot legitimately return your product as it was sent to me. I would be interested in further testing of future models, as I cannot hold it in much longer. Thanks, Amish

 

by Commander_t
6-13-05
GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!! I BRING YOU THE GREATEST IN TOILETRY TECHNOLOGY!!...
TOILETRON MODEL 15036, FLUSHING ALL OTHER COMPETITION DOWN THE DRAIN!
Wait a minute... where'd it go?
Legal department told you that the invisibilty option was a bad thing, right?

 

by Commander_t
6-21-05
Amish, I'm afraid I have some bad news...
Give it to me Doc! I can take it!!
Well Amish, I'm afraid you'll die in five seconds.
I can handle this. I just have to break it to the family gently.
MIGUEL!! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER ONE READY FOR THE HOT DOG FACTORY!!! With this one, maybe I can finally retire...!

 

by Commander_t
6-25-05
Dude, you make no sense!
I didn't even say anything!!

 

by Commander_t
6-27-05
Hey, what are you trying to sell today?
Quit it with that talk you Smut Master!!! I see your silly hat, and past your silly disguise!!
But I-
No buts or butts in this tirade! We all know your perverted fantasies with my head!
I'm a dinosaur, supposedly extinct for sixty-five million years. What are you supposed to be?
I... uh... I'M A FREAK OF NATURE!!! *sob*

 

by Commander_t
6-30-05
Hello, is this 9-1-1?! HELP ME!! I'M BEING RAPED BY BOB VILLA!!
Really? Where are you lady?
I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHERE I'M AT!! ALL I KNOW IS IT'S NEAR THIS OLD HOUSE!!
Hang in there lady! Help is on the way!
PLEASE, TELL THEM TO HURRY!!
Hey lady? Before I head over there, do you think you could get him to calm down enough so you can get his autograph for me and the guys at the station?

 

by Commander_t
7-11-05
HOLY SWEET GOD!! ITS THE MINIATURIZED GHOST OF ROBERT E. LEE!!!
Duh, Captain Retard!
Don't hurt me!!
We ghosts can't hurt you, but if I need a bruiser, I've recruited Mr. Governator for that job!
*gasp* I-I'm about ready to die, honest...! *cough*

 

by Commander_t
7-11-05
What's your name kid?
Uh, I don't know.
What?! You don't know?! To whom am I supposed to write this ticket out to?
Uh, I think that old lady I flashed is about to die. She nearly fainted when she saw the package.
Hey now old lady! Don't croak on me! Call an ambulance, they'll help you not die!!
I think I might know CPR... I'm not sure though...

 

by Commander_t
7-11-05
Hello... Trenchcoat Guy...! Longtime no see!
Hello... Amish! Yes, it has been too long.
...
...
Apparently, there was much more work to be done to mend the broken bridge between Amish and his Muse...
GET AWAY FROM ME STUPID MUSE!!
YOU'RE SO BORING I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE!!!

 

by Commander_t
7-12-05
Whoa! This is an odd situation, isn't it?!
Yeah, I guess. It's not like anyone can see a real life cowboy every day...
...or a dinosaur.
HAHAHA!! I'm going to eat you now!!

 

by Commander_t
7-13-05
So, just a few more questions, then this interview is over. What Government Agency are you from? NSA, CIA, FBI?
Yes.
Ooh.. ok. I'll just put down CIA, ok?
That's fine with me, so long as Mr. President never figures out my identity.
Thank you, Mr. Evil Secret Government Man.

 

by Commander_t
7-13-05
Uh...
Sir, do you have a moment? I was wondering if I could talk to you about the American Political Landscape.
I'm not reg-
What do you think of the job Mr. President is doing? Do you have an opinion of any of his political cronies?
Im not a reg-
No, no need to respond sir! I know you're African American or Arab.. not that it matters. What do you think of the political landscapes of the two?

 

by Commander_t
7-13-05
*chirp*
*oink*
*chirp*
*oink*
*chirp*
*oink*

 

by Commander_t
7-15-05
*chirp*
You're going to die once and for all!
*chirp!*
There's no running from me, I'm the Gingerbread Man...! Wait, am I at the right audition?
*chirp!*

 

by Commander_t
7-15-05
SANTA!!! SANTA, OHSWEETGODNO!! SANTA!! *sob*
Oh God! What am I going to tell Mrs. Claus? 'You're husband was fried when he tried to combine liquid and eledtricity.' No! I have an even better idea!
Missus Claus, erm Miss Claus: I've brought you a special gift. Close your eyes and open your mouth really wide...!
If you say so...!

 

by Commander_t
7-16-05
As soon as he woke upon the ship his earlobes lit with electric fire his mind miles away from the cosmic death that lay in wait
Mind consumed by the noise that came from the guitar he could think no longer of his loved ones only the sound of the guitar
Like some trippy hippy he blurted out his soul in five brief words:
DUDE!! I'M ROCKING WITH YOU!!
Hippy freak!! Get outta here! You're messing with my 80's hair rock vibes!!

 

by Commander_t
7-19-05
Hey, I'm here to fix you.
HA!! Are you crazy?! I'm fine!!
No you're not. You have no body.
Hmm... I guess I'm not...

 

by Commander_t
7-19-05
WHOA!! What are you doing here you evil killer?!
I'm here to finish the job. I left one in there; female; mid-to-late thirties; brown hair and green eyes. Is she in?
Yeah, she's still in there. You know, you did a job on her! Man! I've never seen anything so horrible!
Well, thanks! It's not often I get comments on my work. So... can I see her? I'll just be a minute, maybe two.
Well, you did have a knife, but I don't see one now... All right, go on in!
Nah, I'm going to read her one of my favorite poems before I finish the job.

 

by Commander_t
8-27-05
Hey Amish! Long time no see!!
Yeah! The Amish Community Phone Line has been done for awhile. Do you like the new farm?
Uh, don't the Amish think technology is evil? Also, I don't really notice any difference with the farms.
Are you blind man?! Didn't you see the pile of crap on the other side of the barn?! It's freaking larger than the last one!
Well, since I can't get it through your head that the Amish can't use technology, I'll see you later... in another month or so!!

 

by Commander_t
9-03-05
Now Granny, you know your mission?
Yes. My mission is to destroy my Grandson, Army Guy.
Good! Now go!!
Yes Mr. Evil Government Man!
Uh, can't you move any faster?
Silly rabbit!, I'm using my Super-Granny Speed! I'll be there in no time!!

 

by Commander_t
9-03-05
Son, I wanted you here to take a surprise trip with me. We're going to New Orleans!!!!
WOOHOO!! ALL THE HOOKERS AND BOOZE I CAN GET!!
'That's the spirit son!'
HERE WE ARE!!! NEW ORLEANS!!
Well, New Orleans seems to be a little wet for my tastes...
Later...
New Orleans sucks!! Son, you're the President of the United States, do something!!!
I ORDER THAT NEW ORLEANS STOP SUCKING OR I WILL HATE YOU FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!

 

by Commander_t
9-22-05
...
WAIT FOR IT!!!
Dude, you're not convincing me you're a real dinosaur by taking a huge dump on my lawn...

 

by Commander_t
9-27-05
HOLY CRAP!!! It's everywhere I go...!!
Random Comic Layout Y/N?
WHY?!! WHY IS IT MOCKING ME?!
Random Comic Layout Y/N?
The only safe place................ HOLY MUTATED CRAP!!!!!
Hiya! How ya doin?

 

by Commander_t
10-02-05
Hello, Alex Trebek here. This is your Jeopardy answer: This man, the most recent president to be elected twice, is you son.
*Buzz*
Mr. Cthulhu, we must have an answer, please.
Dammit Trebek! You know I have no son in the White House!!
But Poppa!! I'm right here!!

 

by Commander_t
10-02-05
Maan! Mi fiit hirrt! Da Kapan iz wurken mi tu hurd!
AHHH!! Hu ir yu?!
I'm but a simple wanderer of this earthly plane; free of hatred; fear; suffering. It is my universal duty to help those who suffer. Here, try some Wacky Weed.
UGH!! MI HIDD IZ GUNNA IKSPLUUD!!
Chill, man, chill! Sweet Lord... RUN AWAY!!!

Showing page 5.

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