All comics by Devin

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by Devin
10-28-02
Please give a round of applause to our next speaker!
Um, hi. Originally I was gonna prepare a speech and protest with you guys...
...But I have a lab report due and a midterm on Friday, so I'm afraid I can't. Sorry.

 

by Devin
10-28-02
sub_m7's behavior on the message board and IRC gets him in trouble with numerous ISPs.
Fine! I don't need your service anyway!
Then why were you crying? HOSER!
When ISPs were reluctant to discipline, Brad threatened to sue them.
Gouge out his eyes and string him up by his tongue.
Yes sir, thank you for not suing, sir.
With no other option left to him, sub_m7 was forced to use the lowest, most despicable source available: the library connection (no offense NeoVid)
None taken (bitch). Now get off so I can respond to his and your post.
Hold up, dude, they put up a new flash animation on my site.

 

by Devin
10-30-02
Hey big boy, wanna do it right now on the floor?
Okay!
Jerk!
All men are perverts.

 

by Devin
11-01-02

 

by Devin
11-01-02
(MOVING!)
(MOVING!)

 

by Devin
11-01-02
Hey big boy, wanna do it right now on the floor?
Um, that's a kind offer, but sorry, um, no, I'm happily married... with two children...
Jerk!
What, aren't my boobs big enough for you? That's all you men care about!

 

by Devin
11-01-02
In the year 2100, scientists successfully create intelligent robots, with thoughts and feelings like humans!
However, robots soon determined that humans were an inferior race. With their superior intelligence, the humans were easily crushed.
In the year $834, scientists successfully create intelligent humans, with thoughts and feelings like robots!

 

by Devin
11-01-02
In the year $834, scientists successfully create intelligent humans, with thoughts and feelings like robots!
However, humans soon determined that robots were an inferior race. With their superior intelligence, the robots were easily crushed.
In the year 2100, scientists successfully create intelligent robots, with thoughts and feelings like humans!

 

by Devin
11-01-02
I remember going as a ranger on one Halloween.
Trick or treat!
Though I was carrying a scimitar instead of a bow. That's what the ranger in the NES Ultima had.

 

by Devin
11-01-02
Mornin'.
Whatever.
C'mon, we just made up yesterday. Now what are you angry about?
We made up? Oh, that's right. Sorry. ^_^

 

by Devin
11-01-02

 

by Devin
11-01-02
THE END IS NEAR! NOW IT IS TIME TO FEEL THE WRATH OF SATIN!
Ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha, run, everybody, the wrath of Satin is upon us!
You know what I meant, dude...
No, not Satin! He's so soft and silky! Ha ha ha ha ha!

 

by Devin
11-01-02
For a robotic arm whose transfer function is K / (s^2+1), changing the gain K does not dampen the oscillation. Of course, we don't want an arm that oscillates forever.
Except as a bitchslapping device!
Um, nevermind.

 

by Devin
11-07-02
One day at the sit-in
So I says, "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitrons by themselves!"
Ha ha!
What the fuck are you talking about, man?

 

by Devin
11-14-02
Please go to the National Society of Professional Engineers - Engineering Ethics Page at www.nspe.org/eh- home.htm.
...Nope, that site doesn't exist.
Um, then go to Engineering Disasters: Learning from Failure at doll.eng.sunysb.edu/ disaster.
...That doesn't work either. Um, maybe nobody cares about ethics anymore?
Well, duh... er, I mean, um, of course they do, damnit! Now try this next URL!

 

by Devin
11-14-02
One day at the sit-in
So, like, I said "Well, those rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves, man."
Of course not. The workers generate the gravitrons, but the corporations profit from them! Well, I say, no more!
Like, what the fuck are you talking about, man?
Sometimes I ask myself that same question. Pass the LSD, will ya?

 

by Devin
11-14-02
A mock skit of my brother and his counselor
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to repeat the third grade.
B, but I'm in the sixth grade!
Um, you're in the seventh grade.
Oops, oh yeah...

 

by Devin
11-14-02
How come only my science teacher cares so much about science night?
Um, is this a trick question?

 

by Devin
11-14-02
Will the defendant please rise?
Yes, your honor.
The court finds you... not guilty.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
You know, we could make an RPG that requires brains. You win battles by solving math problems, which get harder as you gain levels.
So what happens when you reach a level where the problems become too hard for you?
Hero - lvl 50 - 6 / 500 HP 1 / 100 MP _ squirrel - lvl 1 - 5 / 5 HP 0 / 0 MP
Oh my god, oh my god, what the hell is the double integral of x ^ x * e ^ log 4x dx^2???
Too bad for you, I know the answer to my problem! 2 + 3 = 5!
Hero - lvl 50 - 0 / 500 HP 1 / 100 MP _ squirrel - lvl 1 - 5 / 5 HP 0 / 0 MP
ARGH! Damn you squirrel!!!

 

by Devin
11-18-02
I've been terrified of women for 50 years-- I can't even think about them without screaming for help!
Ah, your problem is that you did not receive enough attention from your mother as a child.
Lately I've been dreaming that I'm various video game characters: Mario, Link, once I even dreamed I was Lara Croft.
Ah, your problem is that you did not receive enough attention from your mother as a child.
Sorry for whispering. My throat is really, really sore today.
Ah, your problem is that you did not receive enough attention from your mother as a child.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Prepare yourself! I'm going to send you to another dimension!
Whoa, really? Well, let me get my Game Boy Advance and let's get going!
Say, do I get to choose? How about a forest dimension? My lungs would be grateful.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Honey, time to get up.
GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE!
Come on, it's time for school.
I KNOW ALREADY, NOW GO AWAY, GEEZ!
I said GET UP RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!
OKAY, OKAY! You don't have to be all mad about it.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Or how about the all-you-can-eat-buffet-for-fifty-cents dimension? My stomach's grumbling.
Or the video game dimension, where all the video game characters are real-life people--
I'm sending you to Hell, damnit!!!
...Oh, so I don't get to choose?

 

by Devin
11-18-02
In Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, there is so much you can do. There are many different missions for you. You can buy properties. You can join gangs.
You can blast people's brains out. You can rob banks. You can have the National Guard called out on you. You can drive 30, 40, 50, whatever!
But you STILL can't signal to make a left turn.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
This contest is kind of hard. Why does TheElPaso think that video games, internal organs, and a large number mix anyway?
But they do. Consider the funny combination of Super Mario Brothers, a spleen, and the number 50.
Um... I don't get it. How's that funny?
Hey, I took the trouble to think them up. You figure out how they're funny.
Geez, thanks for nothing, man.
Always happy to help.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Hmm, let's see if I can make this work... Mario Spleen 50!
...It does nothing for me. Let's try Mario Gall Bladder 50.
Mario Intestine 50!
Mario Appendix 50.
Ha, I won't be outdone! Mario Kidney 50!
Oh yeah? You're going down. Mario Saliva Glands 50.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Mario Pancreas!
Mario Bladder.
Mario Esophagus!
Mario Rectum.
...Okay, we sound like we're back in the second grade.
Or we could be EGM Editors thinking of the 50 game names that Nintendo threw out the window.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Speaking of rectums, you ever hear about this Japanese game called Little Princess, would-be Rhapsody 2 in the States?
There's this scene where a demented chef feeds his minions laxatives, puts ice cream cones under them, and--
Oh my god, shut up, shut up! Dinner's at 5:50, and it's 5:40 now!
Just remember what I told you when you're having dessert, okay?

 

by Devin
11-18-02
How about Mario Penis? No, no, that's external. How about scrotum?
Technically, that could be external too. I think testes would be internal, though.
Hmm, how about Mario Vagina? Drexle thinks vagina is internal.
It's hard to call... clitoris would definitely be out of the question though.
...I just realized that we've been discussing which reproductive organs are internal for the last 50 minutes.
I'm sick and twisted. What's your excuse?

 

by Devin
11-18-02
You know, if I said "I bought Kingdom Hearts for $50," I'd cover all of TheElPaso's requirements right there.
Except that there's nothing funny about that.
Um, if I bought it dressed as Ariel?
That's just disturbing.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
If Kingdom Hearts was a bad game, I could try to make a joke about that, but since it's made by SQUARESOFT...
Squaresoft has some bad games. Legend of Mana, Legend of Dragoon, Final Fantasy 7--
Shut up, fucker! FF7 ruled! FF8 though--
What'd you say??? FF8 owns, bitch!
Um, Vid, are you okay in there?
Yeah-- nothing--- 50-- or-- so-- stitches-- won't-- fix--

 

by Devin
11-18-02
You know, if Capcom was making Kingdom Hearts, THEN there'd be a joke in there.
For starters, it'd be a fighting game called Disney vs. Capcom.
Well, they invaded platform games, DDR, and now RPGs, maybe fighting games is the next step...
Riiiiight, I can imagine all the kids at the arcade with their 50 cents, arguing whether Mickey or Donald is the better fighter...

 

by Devin
11-18-02
Ack, this strip is gonna end and we haven't met the requirements yet!
50MarioBrothersspleen.
Good job, Vid.
Thanks.

 

by Devin
11-18-02
This is hopeless. My brain's racked. Maybe I should do a 50-part tribute to Yuffie. TheElPaso said that he would laugh at it.
He said that he would laugh at YOU for doing that.
Well, I AM that desperate for laughs...

 

by Devin
11-20-02
Psst, Ivan! Yo, Ivan! Man, he can't hear me.
Here, lemme try. Psst, stupid! Yo, stupid!
Huh?
...Ha ha ha ha ha!
W, what's so funny, guys?

 

by Devin
11-20-02
But maybe Disney vs. Capcom has potential. I mean, if we have Mickey in his sorcerer's outfit, casting spells...
The Beast in Beauty and the Beast could be like Zangief: a close-up powerhouse character.
Hey, Simba isn't chopped liver, you know. He could strike you 50 times before you hit the ground!
And of course, what fighting game would be complete without hot women with comprising positions to pause the game and drool over?
I agree. Like Lilo... ooh... aah...
...Um, no, NOT like Lilo...

 

by Devin
11-20-02
goatse.cx has a 50-part tribute to Yuffie... if you think it's a tribute to show scenes of her being fucked in the eardrums by various men in FF7.
Made you look!
Suckers.

 

by Devin
11-23-02
Sorry for the delay in posts and all... there's this girl, you see...
Hehehehehe, say no more. WE know where you're getting at!
My sister fights me for the computer too.

 

by Devin
11-24-02
Donuts are rip-offs! They cheat you out of a hole's worth of pastry!
That is the dumbes--
--On second thought, that IS true, isn't it...?

 

by Devin
12-02-02
My mother paid the least attention to me because I was a middle child.
They never stopped praising my brother and sister, but me, nothing!
Um, Doctor, shouldn't I be the one lying on the couch, telling you my problems...?
You you you, it's always about you, isn't it???

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Hey, wanna eat kaufman?
...Damnit, you know what I meant!
Do I really...?

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Wanna fuck Brad?
Er, I mean, wanna fuck, Brad?
Um, actually, how about we stick with the first question?

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Yeah, I really dug Souixie and the Banshees and I have some old Dead Boys rare 45s... my name's Gabe, by the way, and I--
HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW EEE-YAWW!
Oh my god, no, nooooo!!!
Um, are you free next Saturday then?!

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Aw geez, struck out again... some smooth talker you are, Gabe, you--
HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW HEEE-HAW EEE-YAWW!
AHEM-- man, this phelgm is really bothering me...

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Well, I guess I would use Ackermann's rule to...
What did you say? You're correct, speak up so the class can hear you.
Ahem, I would use Ackermann's rule to find the appropriate z-function--
You don't even have to do that! See, what you do is...
Ha ha ha, the instructor played you, dude!
"You're correct," he says, "speak up so the class can hear you," he says.

 

by Devin
12-02-02
Hey, Vid. I'm playing Tenchu 2 right now.
Um, why are you crouching down in front of that guy like that...?
I, I was hiding-- shut up, dangit!
I did hear that Gohda's wife dies in this game, but still...

 

by Devin
12-17-02
Aha, it's that villain, Mr. Misunderstood! Don't you dare rob this bank; it's not nice!
*sigh* For the last time, my name is Gary, and I am withdrawing money from my checking account! MY checking account!
Aha, trying to keep me from stating the obvious, are you? Well, I accept your feeble challenge!
*sigh*

 

by Devin
12-17-02
Aha! Withdrawing your DEATH RAY, are you?
It's a fountain pen, dimwit. I'm filling out a withdrawal slip.
A fountain pen that shoots DEATH RAYS, eh?
*sigh* Yes, it's a fountain pen that shoots DEATH RAYS...

 

by Devin
12-17-02
I get it now! You're waiting for me to drop my guard so that you can shoot me with your DEATH RAY! Come on, do your worst!
Yeah, any minute now, my guard will be dropped, and then ZAP!...

Showing page 5.

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