All comics by MikeyG

Profile

 

by MikeyG
2-17-04
Hey nanna look what I did while you were out shopping!
What the fuck!?!
Now I know what your thinking it looks really homosexual. But thats good because thats what I want!
You fucking idiot! You should know all gays burn in hell, well thats what religion says anyway!
Hell a short time later...
I guess no one ever warned you not to fuck with musclebound gay guys in spandex.
Hmmph! Just wait 'till I tell Pat Robertson about this!

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
Changed my rating to good. Funny stuff lately.
I guess I should try to suck more often.
Gives compliments one wants to hear. (Chicka)
That's sweet. I can only hope you think the same way when I'm a fat 50-year-old propositioning you in a bar. Tomorrow.
I grant you the rights of Prima Nocte (Beaz)
First Night? Does that mean I get to deflower you?

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
I never rated you until now you ridiculous fucker!
I had to fuck you ridiculously before you'd rate me? I'm such a whore!
Too bad he can't rap to save his life. -PhreakyCh
That's what you think! Uh..because I don't stink! Word!
If more people don't rate me, my affair with the funny is over!

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
...government officials claim it *wasnt* George W. Bush who was photgraphed naked swinging from the Whitehouse's flagpole, but an evil clone created by Jaqcues Chirac.
In other news, WIRTHLING SUCKS.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
You think he found it?

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
It begins
Installing mIRC...........
hmm this is easy
Connect Menu Nick ? Name? Mail ?
HELP please
Deault Username Chosen: IMA SLUTSKY
That's the last time I log onto Cowboy Physics IRC.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
What, have to use Matchmaker because you've cornholed everyone in your area already?
TOBOR SO EMBARRASSED

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
áëîóäæîáñ - ïÿòü ðàïëüç, è òðàõàíüå ìåíÿ â òîðöå ÿâëÿåòñÿ áåñöåííûì
These Latvian Brides are getting worse and worse every year.

 

by MikeyG
2-18-04
It looks like you want a date for Valentine's Day. Press [OK] to run Microsoft Matchmaker
Success! Your perfect Valentine's date is all arranged.
I can't wait.
Hi, I'm Medjool, your date!
I should have specified 'NOT A SNACK'.

 

by MikeyG
2-19-04
Bawitdaba da WANG a WANG DONGIE DONGIE DONGIE said the boogie said up come the boogie!

 

by MikeyG
2-19-04
Doo da doo da dooooooo! Life is so grand! Doo da dee doo deee! I'm in love with my right hand!
Yo, man. Got a dollar?
Oh! What ever shall I do? I've been accosted by a vagrant!
Man, I just want a dollar. What's a bum gotta do to get a dollar these days?
Well, I suppose I could let you rub pumice on my nipple callouses for half an hour.
Sorry, bro. I'm only good at nostril enemas.

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
You DO know the Doors, don't you?
Hell yeah, man! I'll hum one of their rare B-Sides.
What song is it?
It's called 'I Want to Rub Mint Jelly on Your Thighs While Humming For 10 Bucks'.
You're kidding, right?
Yeah, totally. It's actually called 'Shut The Fuck Up and Give Me Ten Bucks or I'll Shank Your Pasty Ass'.

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Even Laterer...
Is this one of those times where you tell Daddy his bottom is made of lawn plants?
Yes, baby, daddy's ass is grass.

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
RAAAAAAAR! TOBOR MAIZEHOLE!

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
All I said was Jesus jokes can be funny. Are you on drugs?
Well, you said Jesus-bashing jokes were funny because most people on this site do them.
Nope. I just said Jesus jokes were common and they can be funny.
Well, you're going ot burn in hell for that!
Good. The Monty Python boys'll be right next to me. Hopefully we'll all be FUCKING JESUS IN THE ASS!!!
AUUUUGGGGHHH!!!! My EARS! You didn't say that! You DIDN'T SAY THAT! LA LA LA LA LALALALA!

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Five Minutes after that...
Sorry I'm late, honey. We had an all-midget gangbang today and every time I pulled out of one, another munchkin took her place.
Oh, the old all-midget gangbang excuse again, hmm?

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
Welcome back to 'Leap of Faith' on FOX, where we push unsuspecting people off of really high stuff and record their reactions as they fall!
I'm your host, Moe Hogan, and this here is our first contestant.
Like, I'm Jaquana from Manx, Georgia, and I'm totally ready!
[Contestants have neural recorder implants surgically wired to their brains prior to filming, under the guise of intensive Botox injections]
Okay, if you'll just step over here to the cliff edge and...
I'm like, totally on T.V. and stuff! What's over there?
[All contestants have signed waivers saying there may or may not be a bucket of water for them to land in at the bottom and FOX is absolved of all responsibility]
*yoink*
AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!

 

by MikeyG
2-20-04
Welcome back to 'Leap of Faith' on FOX. Contestant #1 Jaquana is currently in the air. Let's check in on her...
That bastard pushed me off the cliff! I really hope I finally changed that 2-week-old pair of underwear I had on.
She's got a solid three minutes before she hits the floor of the canyon.
My final moments and no one to talk to and no one can hear me.
NEXT: The Splat!
Now I'll never get the chance to tell my parents I'm a Communist Lesbian.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
Hey, Mr. Stinkybutt.
Hey, Diablo. Say, I saw you coming out of that old water park over there. I've got a proposition for you.
I'm listening...
If you lick the area between my balls and my ass, I'll take you to that brand-new waterpark back this way, I'll pay.
Why would a chicken toss a choad?
To get to the other slide.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
I think I'm going to have to decline your offer to tonguewash your grundle, stinky.
Well, you've insulted my integrity by refusing to slobber my schwanz. Prepare to duel.
Fine. I'll mastermind your demise like Liddy masterminded Watergate.
Well, let me tell you something...
Chicken, Gordon blew.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
Boozer, I have come for the ancient, sacred bottle of Goofy Juice.
Aha. I knew this day drew nigh. How nigh I knew this day was nigh I did not know.
Prepare to meet the wrath of my glasses.
Now I know you, demon. Thou art Crabby, Eternal Holder of the Glasses Cosmic. Thou art truly not how mine own imagination had rendered thee.
Look, I had the flu really bad for a couple of weeks, okay? I just have to eat more protein.
Does that have anything to do with why you're stabbing that baby in the middle of its forehead with the bottle?

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
It appears to be a baby to the naked eye, but it is actually an elaborate guise for my nipple catheter!
Why the hell do you have a nipple catheter?
Because my powers, like yours, are tied to the intake of sacred booze.
And you have found a way to perpetually pump it into your bloodstream!
Yes! Are you not impressed with my sheer genius?
Not really, buddy. If you think about it, a beer helmet serves essentially the same purpose and only looks half as retarded.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
I have been anticipating this moment for many years. Due to that fact, my right arm appears to be frozen in place.
While I imbibe from the sacred bottle of Goofy Juice, you appear to draw power from a bottle of Silly Sauce.
A fight to the death is called for, then.
En guarde!
Winner takes the other's Happy Water.
If you lose, I'm draining the Happy Water on your face.

 

by MikeyG
2-23-04
We must duel honorably, for the code of the Sot-erai demands it.
Ok. Let's do this thang!
POW! SMACK!
Dude, that sucked.
Totally.
Well, I think I lodged my bottle of Silly Sauce in your ass somehow. I guess you win.
I never would have known until you told me, either. Go figure.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
I'm sorry you tried to rob me and I gave you Canadian money.
It's okay, I guess. Let's not squabble anymore, though.
I agree. We should handle this like gentlemen.
I completely concur.
Pistols at dawn?
Or I could beat you over the head with this bottle of Thunderbird, piss up your nose, and run your pockets.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
I'm not diggin' this, man.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
YELLOW LASS
METAL ASS
SHAPED LIKE A PEAR
MILITARY BRASS
CLOUD OF GAS
NOT REALLY THERE

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Oh, wait, you're a single mom, aren't you?
Why can't you ever just play along, you little shit?

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Meanwhile...
I'd love to hold hands and skip through the park with you all day, Bill, but I told my unsuspecting wife I'd be home three hours ago.
Our love can survive anything. Go to them. And think of me.

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
This is so romantic. I never guessed our anniversary present would be a dusk serenade.
o/` I'm really straight, you faggoty mess! o/`
Whoa. That's not very romantic.
o/` I've been sleeping with your sister Tess! o/`
I hope you're joking, because I would hate to have to claw your tits off, you bitch.
o/` I'm not kidding, this is for reeeeeal! And I secretly want to screw Ally McBeeeeeal! o/`

 

by MikeyG
2-24-04
You asshole! Why did you have to bring me on a romantic picnic, on our ANNIVERSARY no less, just to break up with me?
o/` It's because I loathe you and your ass is like lead! o/`
This is totally the worst thing you've ever done. I'm going to kill you!
o/` Shut the fuck up and give me some head... o/`
o/` No thanks, I think you'll do just fine dead. o/`

 

by MikeyG
2-25-04
Hello, is this the Church of Arse?
Why, yes it is. How may we be of serv-arse to you?
I'm a High Elder in the Temple of Twat, and I wanted to speak to you about an event.
Temple of Twat? Well, I suppose helping people become more religiously inclined can be a positive thing.
I was thinking of a joint fundraiser.
Okay. You bring the joints and the funds, and I'll raise my arse up to use them.

 

by MikeyG
2-26-04
My name's Bloigan. I'm gay and I have Tourette's.
I'm Snizz. I'm terminally lazy, but I work for the government.
I'm the Dim Reaper. I'm Death, but I'm dumb and not real good at it.
Aaar. I talk like a pirate. Plus, I fuck chickens. So if there ever be a joke where a chicken need a good fuckin', I'll be there. Aaaaarrr.
I'm Titties McGee. I gained a small measure of local fame when I appeared in a series of Discount Furniture commercials.
Hi. I'm Steve McQueen. You may remember me from such films as Bullitt, the Towering Inferno, and the original Getaway.

 

by MikeyG
2-27-04
I will be playing the part of MikeyG. I will be his avatar if it is necessary for him to appear in any comic. Plus, we both smell about the same.
I'm Bitchnuts. I'm an ornery sumbitch, crankier than a room full of Rosie O'Donnells. If anyone needs to say something totally fucked up, it will be me. Or boinky.
I'm a baby. I poop and barf, cuz that's what babies do. If ya cain't hang wit dat, y'all can suck up on deez nuts.
I'm Chrissy the Tree! I will NEVER be used in a strip again!
I'm Bacon O'Donutz. I'm the law 'round these parts, and nothing gets me hotter'n babies with foul mouths.
I'm Glandalf. I was almost a powerful wizard, but then I developed hyperthyroidism. Now I collect toenail clippings in my beard.

 

by MikeyG
2-29-04
BLACK & WHITE COCK
HAND IN A SOCK
PRINCE VALIANT HAIR
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
LIKES TO ROCK
NEEDS SOME NAIR

 

by MikeyG
3-01-04
Hey, man, you know how to get to Jupiter, man?
Oh, ha ha. Like, Jupiter, Florida? Funny.
No, man, I've got a noodle sandstorm fiberglass monkey in the nearest popsicle, brother. Know what I mean?
Sure.
Cool, man, cuz I thought I was gonna have to tickle your nugget gland with my lamppost turtle wax, Aunt Jemima-style.
You really did mean the planet, didn't you.

 

by MikeyG
3-01-04
I'm one hungry narwhal with a flip-flop full of mystical pussywillow bunkbeds.
thaddwuz byooteeful.
Snizzap that cootie shot, and break an aardvark down for his jellybeans, jack.
yoodawk my lang-gwidge, man. Aryoo n'angel?
Hey, shit-for-brains, I'm fuckin' hungry!
*snort* Nowyer jesnot makin' sense.

 

by MikeyG
3-01-04
Papa-san! Come on into Platypus town, where we masticate the marshmallowy goodness of God's Green Penis.
Son, you sound like you're hopped up on goofballs.
Only the whim of necrophilia can keep the sausage-like blister of Babylon from usurping my righteous lummox, beyotch!
All right, you whackjob, I'm taking you in. Don't try anything funny.
Satisfaction, you mandible! I've got three mountains of ennui and an off-shore bacon shaving kit!
I hope you stay this incoherent after I've assraped you in the back of my cruiser.

 

by MikeyG
3-01-04
Listen you sack of shit. I'm telling you one more time. GIVE ME MY BONE.
It would be great if you could talk, Buffo! Then I could understand everything you say!
That's it. You're going down, man.
Damn, all I have to do is THINK a double entendre and this motherfucker jumps!
*slurp slurp gag*

 

by MikeyG
3-01-04
Listen you sack of shit. I'm telling you one more time. GIVE ME MY BONE.
It would be great if you could talk, Buffo! Then I could understand everything you say!
That's it. You're going down, man.
PPPPSSSSSSSSSssssssss......
Arf! Bow wow!
Buffo, what are you doing to my shoe? AW NO, THESE ARE $100 TIMBERLANDS! BAD DOG, BAD DOG!

 

by MikeyG
3-02-04
1 - "Oy! My cataracts!"
2 - Sleeping
3 - Walking into my dark bedroom after being in the light

 

by MikeyG
3-02-04
1
No, I really DO have a yacht I sail to my mansion in Barbados, really!
2
www.stripcreator.com
World's Worst 549: Where I was 10 years ago
3
How much is it again?
20 for a handie, 40 for a hummer, and 100 bucks for in the butt.

 

by MikeyG
3-02-04
1
Michael! You're 36! You haven't bathed since Gulf War 5!
Shush, ma! I'm just about to beat Resident Evil Negative Zero Point Ninety!
2
Do you, Mikey's Right Hand, take Mikey to be your lawfully wedded husband?
3
*sniff* I never got so say goodbye to you, Kaufman!

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
yes!
no!
Yes!
NO!
YES!
For the LAST time, I will NOT play 'Itty Titty Bang Bang' with you!

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
Yoo ret me viorate yoo
yoo ret me deseclate yoo
yoo ret me penetlate yoo
yoo ret me compricate yoo
HERP ME
I bloke apah mah inside

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
HERP ME
I got no sore to serr
HERP ME
Dee onree fing dat wok fo me
HERP ME get array flom myserf
I ranna fook yoo rike an animurr

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
I ranna feer yoo flum dee inside
I ranna fook yoo RIKE AN ANIMURR!
Mah horr ezisten is fraw
Yoo get me crosa to God
Yoo can have mah ISORASHUN!
Yoo can have dah hate dat it bling!

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
Yoo can have mah absence of faif!
You can have mah evlee-ting
HERP ME
Teal down mah leason
HERP ME
It yorr secks I can smerr

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
HERP ME
Yoo make me PELL-FECK!
HERP ME become somebodee erse
I ranna fook yoo rike an animurr
ok dat enuff I tink dey get da point
I RANNA FOOK YOO...ok now we sing Ellic Crapton's 'Rayruh'.

 

by MikeyG
3-03-04
1
Better? I thought you were hiring me to piss on it.
2
I'm a middle-management-eating cannibal.
3
I'm NOT going to squirt lighter fluid on your face and throw a lit zippo at it.

Showing page 5.

« Previous Next »