All comics by Siegfried1027

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by Siegfried1027
9-23-04
Back off...don't come any closer...
AROOOOOO HALP JENA
Honey, what the...?
Now maybe if we put some burgers on it, she'd stop being so scared...

 

by Siegfried1027
10-06-04
LOOK AT THE CUTE PUPPER!
*tilt*
You're so CUTE! Yes you ARE!
*TILTTILTTILT*
I put up with her for the treetz...how do you rationalize it?
I'll tell you when you're older.

 

by Siegfried1027
10-12-04
Vote! Voting is an end in itself; it doesn't matter for whom you vote, simply that you corrupt democracy by casting an ignorant ballot for SOMEONE.
I find your ideas intriguing. Please, continue to talk while I load this firearm.
It's our civic duty to vote, and you know how we always encourage people to do their duty! Besides, most of the lazy fuckwits who don't vote already are obvious Dems, so we gotta get them to vote!
So if Hitler were elected with 100% turnout, it would be objectively better than any election, no matter the victor, where less than 100% of eligible persons chose to vote?
At least it's not Bush, right! Haha!
EAT WADCUTTER, HIPPIE

 

by Siegfried1027
10-27-04
So, Senator, should we have gone into Iraq?
We should have gone into Iraq IFF we shouldn't have gone into Iraq.
I see...what will you do about the high cost of health care?
Given that trial lawyers, like my running mate, are responsible for the problem, I plan to address the problem by ignoring it.
Can you sum up your platform for us?
It's quite simple: ~Bush.

 

by Siegfried1027
10-27-04
My opponent has accused me of eating fetuses.
The truth? I voted twenty-seven times against havesting the sweet, tender, delicious meat of babiez for my dinner.
Aroo.org is responsible for the content of this ad.
Turn off that *!)#ing camera...
OH NOZ

 

by Siegfried1027
11-01-04
Can we not teach me this way?
CASTLE ALREADY! CASTLE ME GOOD!
How did I think this could possibly fail to be incredibly creepy?

 

by Siegfried1027
11-03-04
Election night
I think we all need to exercise some restraint...it's not over...
Day after
Other networks have called this and Kerry himself conceded, but really, there are still MILLIONS, YES MILLIONS OF BALLOTS SOMEWHERE!
Weeks later
RACISM! DISENFRANCHISEMENT! ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE!
It's so cute when their world crumbles.

 

by Siegfried1027
11-03-04
I am so scared for us now that Bush won...
Yeah killing terrorists won't work. I mean, sure, there are fewer terrorist attacks, but what about the exploding zombie population? Zombie terrorists are BAD NEWS.
This is so horrible, what will we do?!
Hang on, before you kill yourself in despair, there's one thing you gotta do...
Kneel and take it real slooooow, bitch...I want this to last...
Mmmphrrrrmph

 

by Siegfried1027
11-05-04
So all class Adelstein is just talking about the homoerotic symbolism of this film and constantly using the word "erection!"
Man that's fucked up...
Did I hear the word "erection?" Because I'm all about that!
Uh...yeah...um...
Pankratz, you are a self-parody with tenure.
Dignity doesn't get my rocks off.

 

by Siegfried1027
11-05-04
So I'm reading Perpetual Peace...
Ja, one of mine.
Yep. So, these suggestions: eliminate standing armies? no nation may interfere in the internal affairs of any other?
A noble ideal, and look how well it worked in the 1920s.
But it...wait, you were Prussian, weren't you?
Heheh, I think our country and the rest of the world have had very different definitions of "working."

 

by Siegfried1027
11-10-04
All right, what did you say?
Well, I told her that one cannot rush genius.
So you're trying the patience of the person who is going to come give me treetz and love...do I understand you right?
Well...technically...I suppose, yes.
MAEK THE FUCKEN COMIX OR LOSE THE HUMERUS
YESSIR MISS BIGGLE

 

by Siegfried1027
11-10-04
I think Mike would really enjoy if you...played the Grob.
The...what?
Just take that big old white g-pawn and thrust it forward a couple squares.
Oh, I'm no good at chess!
Did it work?
She's crafty, but I think I bumped you up to a King's Indian Attack.

 

by Siegfried1027
11-21-04
You want to go, granny?
Oh no, sonny, please...
BAM BITCH
AIIIIYEEEEEE
You're suspended.
That's bullshit, yo!

 

by Siegfried1027
11-21-04
Are you Ana?
Si, who are you?
I'm the lawyer the DSA hired to handle your case.
My case?
I was told you're filing suit against the people who savagely assaulted you with the ugly stick.
THEY WILL PAY THROUGH THE NOSE FOR WHAT THEY DID

 

by Siegfried1027
11-30-04
Are you going to the Kwanzaa Dinner?
I'll be too busy going to the Uikoltpoly Memorial Dinner, actually.
Huh?
You see, I can make bullshit fake stuff up too. I just pick the most implausible name for an event and BAM, instant holiday.
Yeah, but you just pulled that out of your ass...
STOP OPPRESSING ME AND MY RICH CULTURAL HERITAGE OF FABRICATING BULLSHIT

 

by Siegfried1027
12-07-04
Could we please have a card-reader?
You gotta pay for that. Tuition obviously isn't enough of a wallet-rape.
Any chance you can restrict access to commuters, like it was, oh, for years? And maybe let us in when we want?
Whoa, whoa, next thing you know, you'll be expecting privileges like being able to park your car.
Mind if I at least lube up first?
Lube isn't covered in your budget.

 

by Siegfried1027
12-24-04
Wow were you ever drunk last night!
Uh...how drunk exactly?
I had a great time last night, dude.
Yeah...
OH HOLY SHIT NO

 

by Siegfried1027
1-13-05
What is this bullshit Nintendo is coming out with? I'll never buy any of their shit again! Fuck them!
Can I help you?
Yeah, uh, I'll take an SP in every color, the DS, all the GCN games you have in stock, and can you PLEASE call my cell the minute the new releases come in?
Praise Miyamoto for his warm, salty goodness!

 

by Siegfried1027
1-18-05
In retrospect, this storyline of mine kinda creeps me out.
You didn't have any such sense while making the comics?
Well, all the bizarre details had a point.
The point being to display your pathetic fanboy love for a half-inch Game Boy sprite.
:stfu:
:devil:

 

by Siegfried1027
2-03-05
Uh...what the fuck is this Citrix shit?
Your tuition money at work. It's the network's new more secure interface.
Oh, it's more secure. That explains why it's installed adware on my account.
...yeah, the Albright parody kinda writes itself, doesn't it?
Just one more year of this bullshit...

 

by Siegfried1027
2-11-05
We can't really know anything for sure.
You don't know math.
The brain is a computer.
You still don't know math.
You ignorant pedant! Free your mind to the incoherence and ignorance of contemporary philosophy.
Oops on me for expecting people to know how to write. Fuck off.

 

by Siegfried1027
2-14-05
Can I help you?
Oh look, I only had to wait a half hour in line before I could order. Give me a cheesesteak.
Fifteen minutes later
There you go!
I am glad you accurately predicted that when I said "cheesesteak" I really meant "chopped chicken on a roll with no cheese in sight."
Five dollars, please.
At these prices I'm surprised you don't have a kosher menu.

 

by Siegfried1027
2-15-05
Porn is like McDonald's.
For your penis.

 

by Siegfried1027
2-16-05
I don't really get Hegel...
Let me use an example to explain it, then.
All right...
Take a heterosexual girl. Her formal negation is a lesbian. The synthesis of these two opposites is a bi chick.
Hegel is HOT.
Yes, German absolute idealism will get you laid.

 

by Siegfried1027
2-25-05
-p-q--
-p--q---
I do more with hyphens than the random SC fucks
-p---q----

 

by Siegfried1027
2-25-05
Well hello there, little control group boy.
Gee, uh, hi doctor. This is all for science and junk, isn't it?
Of course; statistical integrity demands I avoid getting a truly representative sample.
Thems sure is big words, mister.
That's not the only thing that's big...
I thought "sucker" meant "lollipop," you sick bastard!

 

by Siegfried1027
3-17-05
So that's about how many I had this month alone.
My calculator just says "E"
RACE!!!!!!!!!! RACE! RACE!!!
The FUCK, dude?
Oh no, I think another soon-to-be recurring character is making his entrance...

 

by Siegfried1027
3-29-05
You look...hungry...
Muahaha.
STOP BITING MY FUCKING FINGER
That's pretty much what happened every day.
I want a better fucking hat. This one tastes terrible.

 

by Siegfried1027
5-01-05
Hey, how come you never read me anymore?
Hegel > you. Deal with it.
...that pompous ass? Give me a fucking break.
How many housemaids did you bang?
How many watches have you wound?
:cry:

 

by Siegfried1027
5-05-05
Hey Carl, tell me something?
Yo word sup?
Instead of bothering the fuck out of us all the time before you drop out, why not drop out NOW?
Dude aight no way f'realz sheeeet.
Hooray, the black Guziak...
DAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

 

by Siegfried1027
5-11-05
Just to clarify an apparent inconsistency, this chick right here is Death...
...whereas this is Marin.
Dude, you know what would be hot...
I know, but I can't get them into the same room together, to say nothing of drugging both their drinks discreetly...

 

by Siegfried1027
5-11-05
Wow, when the fuck did this background get here?
I have no idea, but I want to move in with it and have its manbabies.
No bartender to screw it up, either! What'll you have?
Dry martini for the win, good sir! This is heaven.
...holy shit, the only gin they have is Banker's Club!
Oh, good, it's the "other place"...

 

by Siegfried1027
5-11-05
Ugh.
Wordliciouslorunsah!
Sooo, they actually gave him a degree.
Yeah, it really makes you think: maybe there should be Constitutional safeguards to stop people like this practicing law.
Hm, it worries me on an even higher level.
Oh yeah, the whole thing's caused me to lose faith in God.

 

by Siegfried1027
5-24-05
Yo.
Hey...I was wondering something.
Shoot.
Given the fragile state of your zombie body, how do you manage to fuck without, you know, losing anything?
You know, rather fortunately, it's never been an issue.
Yeah, how lucky of you never to get laid.

 

by Siegfried1027
6-28-05
Wow.
Yeah.
Your old apartment has not changed one bit.
Shut up.

 

The "disagreement" in simple terms
9/11 actually happened. Like, it's a matter of historical fact.
OBSESSIVE WARMONGER NAZI LIAR MONKEY IDIOT!!!!
by Siegfried1027, 6-30-05

 

by Siegfried1027
8-05-05
Wait, this can't be right. My only line in this whole thing is "WHEEEEEEE"?
Hmmm.
And then the dog does WHAT to me? Where's my agent?!
Not sure if he's right for the part...
2 SKINY. WONT LAST. NEED FATTUR ACTOR.
Take small bites.

Showing page 5.

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