All comics by DexX

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by DexX
10-03-01
Come on, girl - just eat the apple!
*munch!*
Shit, our nice tower fell down...
Nein sprechen die Englisch!
When I told them the storm would stop if they threw me overboard, I didn't think they'd take me seriously...
Hmmmm, looks tasty...

 

by DexX
10-06-01
...so you're Fred?
Right!

 

by DexX
10-06-01
Wow, my first away misson! Cool! Strange... my Triscancordomatic is detecting lif-
GWAAARRRR!!!!
Captain! A Globdublan Mucus Beast just ate Ensign... uh, Ensign...
Who?
Did someone say the ensign has been eaten already?
Wow, forty-eight seconds. That's got to be a record.

 

by DexX
10-06-01
Ambassador Hoh't Bey'b, it is an honour to have you aboard my shag... SHIP! My ship! *ahem*
It is an honour to be here, captain. As official respresentative of the Nymphohorny Empire, I thank you for your hospitality.
If you would just follow me to the bed... BRIDGE! The bridge of the ship, I will introduce you to my cunnilingus... CREW! My crew! Yes... crew.
Is something wrong, captain? My OmniTerpreter is indicating some interference in your speech patterns...
I can't believe he is trying to get into the pants of another alien woman...
Ehh, better than green woman with eight breasts he did last time. That sentient genital rash was NASTY!

 

by DexX
10-07-01
The Queen visits Quebec...
We are very pleased to be here.
Oui!
Yes, "we".
Yes? Oui?
I'm sorry. We are new around here.
"We" is "nous" around here.

 

by DexX
10-08-01
So, what happened to that guy who- ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.***
***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.***
I'm just fixing this- ***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.***
***HOLOPORN!!! Cum and see my holographic Zebrogynian whores!!! Now available in the HoloWhatzit. 20 credits.***
Now, Ensign, you've been warned before about using the CommLinks to send porn spam to the crew...

 

by DexX
10-08-01
Hellenic Badass, you presented your comics to us in good faith, presumably hoping for an honest reaction.
Well, my mother always said that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

 

by DexX
10-09-01
Whazzzzup!
I was just thinking... "The Lumberjack Song" is about a guy who digs a guy with a big dick.
Whoo! Don't go there, girlfriend! You can't handle the truth!
I will call him... Mini Asian Girl 2.
...damn! I'm all out of pop culture references.
They mostly come out at night. Mostly.

 

by DexX
10-09-01
Next week on Ally McBeal...
Excuse me, office boy. I need some cockroach baits. This place is invested! Could you go fetch me some, please?
Sure thing, Miss McBeal.
I'm looking for some cockroach baits. You seen any?
Sorry, none left. I peeled the wrappers off all of them and used the goo inside to treat my haemmorhoids.
Any luck?
Ally, your baits are peeled onto arse.

 

by DexX
10-10-01
Hello! I am wenisinfurs! You are all inferior to me! Bow before my massive intellect!
Uh.... right. You are a wanker, and your "massive intellect" is nothing more than a pose with a thesaurus in one hand and your dick in the other.
Uh...
Just kidding! Gee, I really fooled you, didn't I! Your negative reaction really illustrates just how terribly inferior you are.
Oops, did I say "wanker"? I meant "troll".

 

by DexX
10-13-01
Hey, I have to tell you something. I just... well, I think we're going to be great friends, but I don't think I will ever be sexually or romantically attracted to you. Is that okay?
Uh...
Sure... I suppose...
Hell of a way to start a honeymoon...

 

by DexX
10-13-01
Thanks!

 

by DexX
10-13-01
How are you doing, Lou?
Shh, I'm reading.

 

by DexX
10-17-01
How's things, Floyd?
Alternating current?
Direct current?
What are you planning to do today?
I'm going to church, of course.

 

by DexX
10-21-01
...warning... ...depressurisation...
*ack!* *gasp!* *croak!*
Huh? What's going on? Talk to me! Say something! Oh wait... are we playing charades?
*aack!* *gack!* *aaaack!*
Let me think... uh... you're a heavy smoker? No, you're... you're... choking? Suffocating?
*gasp!* Air! *thud!*
Air? Oh! Air Supply! That band from the eighties! You really shouldn't have given me that clue. You made it too easy to guess.

 

by DexX
10-21-01
Did you see wirthling's rules for the new contest? Copy the style of another strip author!
...and that stupid thing about the US military. So, any idea what we can do the strip about?
Hmmm...
Hmmm...
We could do one about how much wirthling sucks.
You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

by DexX
10-21-01
Step One: Make sure you follow all the rules...
The United States of American has a military!
Yes, I heard about that!
Step Two: Make sure the first two panels set up a killer punchline in the third...
I read in the newspaper that the US military is recruiting pink donkeys!
Wow, I bet you're going to say something really funny about that.

 

by DexX
10-21-01
So this guy Alf, a private, beta-tested the new gamma-ray gun down by the river delta.
Didn't see it - Johnny Depp's ill on Oprah, and Catherine Zeta Jones was on earlier with Etan Hawke.
Etan? You mean "Ethan". Wait, this doesn't matter an iota. I'm telling you about the private. He took a cap o' LSD, and fired that gun at a little lamb! Damn! Poor thing went "moo".
I never knew they could happen. I saw Alf holding a boxy weapon. Oh, Mike Ronaldson said it was a device for cutting pie.
Mike's an idiot - I once saw him row a speedboat. Tried to bum a cigarette, too - "Can I have a cig, Mark?" I just threw a towel at him. So... Johnny Dupp's ill on Oprah?
Depp, not "Dupp". Do you find that the chiming of the bell at the asylum wakes you up? I'm always, "Oh, me Gaahhhd... what time is it?"

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! WHAT IS PROFESSOR ELOHNROC DOING!?!?
Almost done... I am wiring a new piece of hardware into your system, Tobor... One more connection... done!
RAAARRR!!! WHAT WILL THIS NEW HARDWARE DO, PROFESSOR!?!?
Tobor, I have just given you the ability to... TRAVEL THROUGH TIME!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR LIKES THIS IDEA... BUT WHY DID YOU DO IT!?!?
Sheesh! I'm a mad scientist who has created a mad anal-raping robot, and he's asking me to explain my actions?

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR_WILL_CORNHOLE THEM IN THE AIR!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE THEM ON THE BEACHES!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE THEM IN THE STREETS!!! TOBOR WILL NEVER STOP CORNHOLING!!!
*rrrrip!* *squish!*
No! Don't! Argh!
RAAARRR!!! NEVER BEFORE, IN THE FIELD OF HUMAN CONFLICT, HAVE SO MANY BEEN CORNHOLED BY ONE ENORMOUS HYDRAULIC SCHLONG!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
*** The Eagle has landed. I repeat, The Eagle has landed. ***
This is one small step for man... one giant leap for mankind...
RAAARRR!!!
What the...? Buzz! What are you doing? Argh! My suit's ripped!!! *gurgle!*
ONE MORE CORNHOLING FOR MANKIND, BUT ONE MAJOR REAMING FOR NEIL ARMSTRONG!!!
*fsssss...*

 

by DexX
11-02-01
You've bin a wunnderful audience. Thankuh. Thankuh very mush...
RAAARRR!!!
Hey! Y'all shouldnt be back here! Security! Sec- ARGH!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR HAS LEFT ELVIS!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
Hail Caesar! Beware the Cornholes of March!!!
Uh... yeah. Sure, I'll do that...
Ah, General Tobor. How goes the conqest of the known world?
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR SAW, TOBOR CORNHOLED, TOBOR CAME!!!
Later... Around March or so...
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE JULIUS CAESAR!!!
Et tu, Tobor?

 

by DexX
11-02-01
Atop Mount Sinai...
Okay, that's ten. Are we done? I'm getting RSI from all this chiselling...
YEAH, TEN WILL SUFFICE. *poof!*
Ten it is, then. Now, time to get these back down the mountain...
WAIT - NUMBER ELEVEN!!! THOU SHALT CORNHOLE MORNING NOON AND NIGHT!!!
Cornhole? Didn't we already ban that?
RAAARRR!!! BLASPHEMER!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR LOST IN TEMPORAL ANOMALY!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR IS BEING FLUNG INTO AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE!!!
RAAARRR!!!!
RAAARRR!!! THIS COULD BE THE START OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! ALTERNATE DIMENSION TOBOR, LET US CONQUER THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER!!! WE WILL RULE WITH AN_IRON_SCHLONG!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL STYLE YOUR HAIR!!!
Shit...
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL GIVE YOU A PERM!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! DOES ALTERNATE TOBOR HAVE NO INTEREST IN CORNHOLING!?!?
RAAARRR!!! CORNHOLING? IS THAT A NEW TECHNIQUE FOR CURLING HAIR!?!?
RAAARRR!!! T CORNHOLE MEANS TO STICK YOUR GIGANTIC HYDRAULIC SCHLONG INTO THE RECTUM OF A PUNY FLESHLING!!!
HYDRAULIC WHAT!?!?
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE ALTERNATE TOBOR!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL RUN AWAY NOW...

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR DOES NOT LIKE THIS UNIVERSE!!! TOBOR WANTS TO GO HOME!!!
WELL?
TOBOR THINKS A CERTAIN COMIC STRIP AUTHOR WILL GET A CORNHOLING IN A MOMENT...
Okay! Okay!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!! FINALLY, TOBOR IS RETURNING TO OWN UNIVERSE!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WONDERS WHERE HE WILL RETURN!!!
Tobor, I have just given you the ability to... TRAVEL THROUGH TIME!!!
This could be interesting...

 

by DexX
11-02-01
Sheesh! I'm a mad scientist who has created a mad anal-raping robot, and he's asking me to explain my actions?
RAAARRR!!! HELLO!!!
Tobor??? What the hell are you doing here? Your presence here could throw the entire causality of the universe into disarray!
RAAARRR!!! YOU MEAN...?
Yes - you may very well have just cornholed the very fabric of timespace!
I am having some mixed feelings about this...

 

by DexX
11-02-01
Tobor, by travelling through time and meeting yourself, you may have sent shockwaves through time, with potentially disastrous consequences...
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR THINKS YOU ARE OVER-REACTING!!!
Rawk!
*bleep!*
...you were saying?
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR IS NOT THE ONE WHO MADE AN ANAL-RAPING ROBOT AND GAVE IT TIME-TRAVEL CAPABILITIES!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
RAAARRR!!!
RAAARRR!!!
RAAARRR!!!
RAAARRR!!!
It's so nice having someone to talk to.
Absolutely.

 

by DexX
11-02-01
General Custer! General Custer!
What is it, lad?
They're coming in for another attack. I think... I think we're done for sir...
Dash it all! They will not get us without a fight, those red-skinned bastards...
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE GENERAL CUSTER!!!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE GENERAL CUSTER!!!

 

by DexX
11-02-01
Steinem Pharmaceuticals. How may I help you?
Get rid of these breasts and give me back my penis. That would be a good start.
Ah, I take you are experiencing the mild temporary side-effects of our wonderful new miracle drug, Femoxidil.
Did you say temporary? How long- Ack! *thud!*
Oh, is that the time? I must be going...

 

by DexX
11-05-01
This is gonna be so cool! I can't wait to see Fluffy!
I want to see Hagrid on his flying motorbike. That's gonne be excellent!
Nah, I reckon the Quidditch will be the best bit. I always wanted to see a game of Quidditch...
I wonder if the people will all look like in my head? Ron Weasley is my favourite.
Ron's cool, but Hermione's my favourite character.
Stare straight ahead... keep arms folded... don't make eye contact... Can't wait to see the Quidditch...

 

by DexX
11-06-01
[singing] Ooooooohhhh.... There was an old bugger who got a rat stuck up his arse, but I don't know what he was doing with a rat up his arse... [/singing]
Later...
[singing] Ooooooohhhh.... he stuck the butter-coated dog up there to catch the cat, he stuck the greased cat up there to catch the rat, but... [/singing]
Later still...
[singing] He sent the Director of Redundancy Director up there to fetch the Vice President of Marketing...
Listen! This is embarrassing enough without you singing about it! Just pump that plunger and shut up!

 

by DexX
11-11-01
An original copy of "Everything" by The Bangles on vinyl!
The awful but inexplicably popular "Macarthur Park" by Richard Harris on four-track tape!
The twelve inch vinyl remix of The The's debut single!
Ultra-rare Australian Kids in the Kitchen "What About Me?" vinyl single!
Original gatefold vinyl copy of "In My Life" by George Martin!
Okay, okay, your kitsch music collection beats mine... but George Martin? How could you sink so low?

 

by DexX
11-11-01
Australia in 2001. Six years of Coalition government. Unemployment is approaching 8%. Economic growth has effectively stopped. The GST has shifted the tax burden from the rich to the poor.
Australia just voted the bastards back into government.
Yuuurrr... Look't me! Oi- oi- oi- Oi'm a shtwong leader!
Excuse me - I must go and vomit now.

 

by DexX
11-11-01
Australia at the end of 2004. Unemployment has hit a record 12%. Ill-prepared for terrorist activity, many have died in retaliatory attacks for Australia's strong support of the "War on Terror".
Economic growth has gone past simple stagnation - the economy is now shrinking. The Australian dollar is worth 35 US cents. The poorer 50% of the population now carry 90% of the tax burden.
...could the Australian people possibly be so stupid a fourth time?
Oi- oi- oi'm still a shtwong leader!
Excuse me - I must go emigrate now.

 

by DexX
11-11-01
Hi everyone! I'm Alison! Don't worry if you find me utterly obnoxious and objectionable - everyone does!
Hey! Welcome to the-
I knew! You all hate me, don't you? You think I'm a complete idiot, don't you? You want me to jump in front of a speeding train, don't you?
No, I don't- I just- Uh- But-
I just want to be loved, to be accepted and appreciated for who I am! But... how can anyone love a hopeless, stupid, rotten person like me?
Was it something I said?

 

by DexX
11-14-01
Ladies, in this class I aim to help you learn more about your own body. With my help, you will find a whole new sexual being within yourself.
Sounds good... I hope they start with the easy stuff...
The first thing you need to do is lay down on the floor. Good. Now, loosen your garments and pick up the mirrors we have provided for you.
I can do this. I've been staring women's bodies for- oh my God, will you look at her!
Look with the mirror, but don't be afraid to... What's going on over there?
Miss! Miss! She isn't keeping her eyes on her own work!
Pah, tattle-tale...

 

by DexX
11-16-01
Little Boy Blue come blow your horn. The Comic Cup's stalled, the contestants forlorn.
But where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
I've been under the haystack with Little Bo Peep!
Come back here, loverboy...

 

by DexX
11-16-01
The night Gabe wore his geek clothes and made mischief of one kind
Honey! I collated all of the argument we have ever had into an online database...
*shudder!*
and another
Honey! Have a look at this program I just threw together that hurls random insults at you. It might pass a Turing Test if we say_it's_a_taxi_driver...
*ack!*
his wife called him "WILD GEEK!" and Gabe said "I'LL GEEK YOU UP!" and he was sent to sleep on the couch without eating anything.
*click!*
We could call it a "Tourette's Test" instead... honey? Hello?

 

by DexX
11-16-01
That very night in Gabe's living room a network grew and grew-
and grew until his ceiling hung with Base-100 cabling and the walls became the world wide web all around
and an information superhighway tumbled by with a private I/O port for Gabe and he browsed away through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild geeks are.
Welcome to StripCreator.

 

by DexX
11-16-01
And when he came to the place where the wild geeks are they coded their terrible code and repeated their terrible in-jokes
What can you code? I know C, C++, HTML, XML, SQL, COBOL...
Where do you stand on the issue of donkey sodomy?
and typed their terrible typos and showed their terrible geekiness till Gabe said "BE STILL!"
Let's introduce him to Tobor!
BE STILL! Have a look at this graph I made - the complete comic-creation history of this website!
and tamed them with the magic trick of staring into all their bloodshot eyes without blinking once and they were frightened and called him the most wild geek of all and made him king of all wild geeks
This guy is truly a colossal geek!
He certainly is one sexy hunk of geek...

 

by DexX
11-16-01
"And now," cried Gabe, "let the geeky rumpus start!"
Hello there. My name is Monique. Is there a Gabriel Billings here?
Gabe! The stripper's here!
I'm sorry, I must be drunk... I thought you just suggested we start a religion called The Church of Arse...
Oh come on! It'll be great! I'll even let you be the Pope!
Listen, Mister Talbot or whatever your name is, I already told you that I DON'T SUCK DICK!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR DOES NOT MIND!!! TOBOR IS MORE OF AN ANAL MAN!!!

 

by DexX
11-16-01
"Now stop!" Gabe said and sent the wild geeks off to bed without their obligatory UT or Counterstrike session.
Tobor cornholed the phone? SHit, I wanted to order a fucking pizza. That's it, you guys - party's over!
Aaaawwww... but Gabe...
And Gabe the king of the wild geeks was lonely and wanted to be somewhere where someone loved him best of all.
*sigh* I need a hug. No, not from you!
RAAARRR!!! TOBOR WILL- Oh, sorry...
Then all around from far across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild geeks are.
*sniff sniff* Ooohhh... is that breakfast I can smell?
Fuck this shit - I'm going somewhere where someone can COOK!

 

by DexX
11-16-01
But the wild geeks cried, "Oh please don't go - we'll spam your mail server or something - we love you so!" And Gabe said, "No!"
Sorry guys - I need to get a life. It's been fun.
Hey, I don't give a shit. Think of all the bandwidth I'll save.
The wild geeks coded their terrible code and repeated their terrible in-jokes and typed their terrible typos and showed their terrible geekiness
That does it - that Gabe's getting a very stern ICQ message tonight!
I haven't cried this much since that bitch abused me when I was doing tech support.
but Gabe stepped into his private I/O port and waved good-bye and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day
This download is taking ages...

 

by DexX
11-16-01
and into the morning of his very own living room
Zzzzz- whuh!?!?
You have been disconnected due to system inactivity.
where he found his breakfast waiting for him
Ooh, Sarah left me some bacon and eggs on toast. What's this note say?
Dear Gabe, You fell asleep at the computer last night. I tried to wake you - you were drooling on the mouse. Made you breakfast. Love, Sarah.
and it was still hot.
Ecchh, fatty... I wonder if we have any more Poptarts...

 

by DexX
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
I told her she has put on a stack of weight lately, and that even though she wears way too much makeup, she doesn't wear enough.
Don't know why she got so angry - I was only winding her up.

Showing page 6.

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