All comics by Drexle

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by Drexle
1-09-02
You know, it's really hard to find people I can really identify with.
Why is it so hard to find nihlisht misanthropic shut-ins who listen to really dark and heavy music, role play, and like Jonen Vasquez...
who *aren't* psychologically damaged?
GZZRANGMANGN FAFOSIDNXXONSGN DISNGNA

 

by Drexle
1-09-02

 

by Drexle
1-09-02
Yew shure got sum pritty legs, Mr. Stinky Butt.

 

by Drexle
1-09-02
Fuck... it's gonna be another one of *those* days.

 

by Drexle
1-14-02
Guys, after almost seven months of life as a total bum, I now find myself once again preoccupied with... you know... stuff.
It would probably be for the best if I spent less time here, considering the mindbending courses I'm up against this semester.
Too bad I don't know the meaning of the word "Discipline," eh?

 

by Drexle
1-23-02
Okay, that'll be fifty bucks.
Sure thing. Whew, that was some good sex... excuse me, I need to go get a cigarette.
Just head on down to the corner and...
Hey there, good lookin', what's your price?

 

by Drexle
1-27-02
Are you a good girl? I know I am.
I don't think so. I have a tendency to light people on fire.
On fire? But how? You're not allowed to play with matches.
I don't play with matches. I use the powers of my mind. Watch!
Aaaaaah! I am dieing!

 

by Drexle
1-27-02
I just noticed something. What is that in your hand?
Oh, this? It's a honeycomb. I'm going to give it to a succulent succubus for her birthday.
What? I know you didn't just take that from my hive!
Deal, buddy. I've got a hot date tonight.

 

by Drexle
1-27-02
Hey there, asiangirl2. Did you see Drexle's other two pathetic attempts at this contest?
Yep, what a putz!
Do you think he'll start breaking stuff in his house if this keeps up?
Nah, his girly muscles barely lift his bookbag!
Look, I've turned around! Check at my butt!

 

by Drexle
1-27-02
I'm out of ideas about this contest... what about you?
Yep, me too... Pull!!!
*Whooooosh!*
Wheeee!!!
*BANG!*

 

by Drexle
1-29-02
Asiangirl2, did you see that? That was pathetic!
Pathetic Indeed, Asiangirl1... The random "I've got no clue" Skeet Shoot comic got more rules right than any of his three honest guesses.
Wait a minute... Have you noticed something? Something odd? There's something different here...
You're right. I just can't put my finger in it... Wait... We're falling! OH HOLY SH...
SCROE!

 

by Drexle
1-29-02
Hey there, Drexle. Do_you_believe_that God has a plan for your life? That God has a plan for everyone's lives?
If_God_has_planned_out everyone's lives, then that means free will doesn't exist. Does that mean that everyone who sins and goes to Hell does so because god wanted it?
Why would God want to do that? He's a kind and caring lord! That's the work off the Devil.
So you mean to tell me that the Devil can subvert God's will? Doesn't that make him stronger than God?
I mean really, if your God is such a pussy_then_why_are you worshiping him? Don't you want to be in the favor of the one with the *real* power?

 

by Drexle
2-01-02
Dude, you've been scratching yoruself all day, what gives?!
Dude, it's totally awesome! Last night, I got some brand new genital herpes! *Scratch scratch*
Whoa, what is this "genital herpes," and where can I get some?
I got my genital herpes from the chick on the streetcorner. It's great! It gives you the excuse to scratch yourself in public!
Genital Herpes may have the following side effects: Itchiness, contageous rash, and irritation from loads of Zantax commercials.
Not only that, it's a great ice breaker at parties! *Scratch scratch*
Hey there big guy... you got room for another hand down those pants?

 

by Drexle
2-17-02
I met some new people last week...
Ewwww, how could any woman want a fist stuck up her twat? Mr. Lucky is just too tight for that shit!
Wait... d-d-d-d-did you just say that you call your w-w-w-w-w-wussy "Mr?"
This is kinda what they were like...
More important... did YOU just say "wussy?" What the fuck is that?
*Mr.* Lucky?... WHY?
This is the person who introduced me to the rest of them.
Dear god, this is embarassing... at least this isn't their *worst* behavior.

 

by Drexle
2-17-02
Yeah, you heard me! I just identify with my twat being a man. Is that so wrong?
Uhhhh.....
I think it makes sense. If you're masturbating, do you want to think of yourself as giving a hand job to someone who's the same sex as you?
But wouldn't it be easier just to think of your hand as being the opposite sex?
*Weeping inside*

 

by Drexle
2-26-02
Moo!

 

by Drexle
2-26-02
Varg Vikernes was tired of the death metal cliches.
So he went 'round Norway setting churches ablaze.
He stuck a knife in his friend's head in a craze...
And now he's in jail where he spends the rest of his days!
Burzum, behave!
No!

 

by Drexle
2-27-02
That was an impressive display, but your skill is no match for me... for when I'm defeated, I only become stronger!!!
Grrrraaaaahhh!!! Keep it up! My power level will soon be over four hundred million!!!
Nevertheless: Woof, Woof!
Damn you! I've been foiled again!

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Racism is alive and very much a part of American society today, even among the "educated" and "enlightened" among us, and it is a serious problem.
For example, to_this_day_there_remains discrimination in housing. White housing owners have the chutzpah to deny Blacks and Latinos good housing even in San Antonio, where Latinos run the place.
When_you_hear_people make racially hateful remarks and jokes, you should stand up and make a protest. Set an example for the people who disaprove of racism but feel that they can't stand against it!

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Question&Answer Time--
Yes, you have a question?
Yeah, you know how you said that people should speak up when they hear someone make racially disparaging remarks...
Well, being Jewish, I was very taken aback_by_your_use_of the word "chutzpah." It's a very beautiful yiddish word that shows admiration and to use it in a way that glorifies racists... *choke* is...
I'm_sorry_if_I_offended you. I know it's a lame excuse, but I just picked up the word from my Jewish friends. Perhaps it's a sign that languages can evolve in harmful ways.
Wait, did you say "lame?" Isn't that hurtful to individuals with disabilities?

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Errr... yes, I suppose so. Perhaps I should have said a "weak" excuse.
HEY MAN, DON'T GET ALL DIALECTIC AGAINST ME JUST 'CAUSE I CAN ONLY BENCH PRESS A BISCOTTI. YOU GOTS ANY FLUIDS TO DRINK, MAN?
*Sigh...*
Then how about "It was an impotent excuse?"
B-b-b-ut... isnt' that offensive to... uummm.... never mind.

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
You see, this_proves_my_point. The English language was created with all these traps and with a built-in discriminitory sense. Words evolve all sorts of derogatory meaning...
Yes, you have a question?
I_was_very_offended_by_your use of the word "evolved." That's very insensitive to those of us who belive that human language was a devine gift that was shattered in the tower of Babel.
NEXT QUESTION!

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Yeah, earlier in your lecture something you said bothered me...
*Oh God...*
...Why_is_it_that_whenever a minority is in elected office, all of a sudden "the Latinos run the town?" Isn't that a racist way to look at things?
Perhaps you're misunderstanding what I was saying, I didn't mean it like...
But_if_you_were_being hurtful or racist, you shouldn't hide behind that "white man's ignorance" you just lectured about. Just because you didn't mean to be hurtful doesn't mean you weren't.

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Well, what can I say but that we don't have a language that enables people say exactly what they mean...
WORD IS LIES! WORD DOESN'T say what we MEAN! GOD IS WORD! GOD IS ONE SIDED WORLD! ONE SIDED WORLD IS EVIL!!! YOU ARE EDUCATED STUPID AND EVIL!!! TIME CUBE is GOOD! FOUR SIDED DAY IS GOOD!
Errrmmm... Thank you Gene Ray, that's exactly right. We need to work on making language as exact as possible so as not to hurt anyone unintentionally.
ONE SIDED DAY IS A LIE OF WORD GOD!!! WORD GOD IS THE ONE SIDED ASPECT OF JEWS!!!
Errr... riiiight.... Next question! PLEASE DEAR GOD, NEXT QUESTION!
FORGET YOUR RETARDED EDUCATION, YOU were TAUGHT WRONG!!! TIME CUBE FOUR SIDED DAY IS KING OF ALL!!!

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Yes, you have a question?
Yeah, I've heard it speculated that after 9-11, Black people_have_reported less racism affecting them. Perhaps we as a nation should seize the moment of solidarity and strike racism now?
I certainly haven't seen any reports that they see less racism overall... not in housing at least...
Oh it's true alright, we don't get as much flack now that we have the Sand Niggers takin' heat off of us.
*Why me?*
Hey yeah, you're right! With all those towelheads from the Middle East to worry about, ol' Jerome in the hood doesn't seem so threatening.

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
Look, I think you all are missing the point here... we shouldn't get hung up in the minutae of it all and lose sight of the bigger picture.
I disagree. Minutae is the fiber of my very existence.
Nobody asked you, Dr. Pedantic. Just sit down and shut up.
"Sit_down_and_shut_up?" Hmph, you males and your dominance games! It's sickening! It's always "Shut up, Maura!" or "Make me dinner, Maura!" or "SAY MY NAME, BITCH!" Is that all you think about?!
I can't take this anymore!!! RAAAAARRR!!!
They're all the same...

 

by Drexle
3-05-02
*KER-TRANS-FORM!!!*
RAAAAARRRR!!! LECTUREBOT WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!
Hey, I take offense at that insinuation! Offering to "cornhole" someone shouldn't be a threat! You're offending the Gay population!
I CAN'T WIN...
And really, threatening_to_annaly violate someone is being very insensitive to those who have been annaly violated in the past! What the fuck kind of civil rights crusader are you!?

 

by Drexle
3-07-02
One day, on the ranch...
So I says "I reckon them TOBOR serials aren't going to write themselves."
Ha, Ha!
Where the fuck do you come up with them?

 

by Drexle
3-11-02
That's it, just remember to breathe... an PUSH!
Nnneeeeaaarrrrrghh!!! It's almost... AAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!
*SQUIP!*
Wheeeee!!!
Mrs. Wirth, you are now the proud mother of a fine young.... errrmm.... wirthling.

 

by Drexle
4-01-02
Hey, look behind you!
What? What is it?
Ha, ha! April Fool!
Grrr...

 

by Drexle
4-01-02
Hey, you've got a booger hanging out of your nose!
Someone else's nose is the last thing I'd be worrying about if my period were running down my leg.
Oh my god, no!
Ha, ha! April Fool!
Waaaaait a minute....

 

by Drexle
4-01-02
I'm sorry, that last one was just mean.
Oh, you're gonna be sorry bitch! It's time for an Asiangirl ass whoopin'!
Ummm... I hate to tell you this, but there's something behind you...
Oh, you're *so* not getting me with that one again. Prepare for pain!
Super Asiangirl Special Attack, enga...
It's uncunsenshual sex teim yuo fuckin' fuckhole! Bend ovar!

 

by Drexle
4-01-02
I tried to warn you...
No! I don't wanna hear it! The only appology I'll accept is blood!
Sorry, all_out_of_blood. *KER-TRAN-SFORM!*
!!!
DECEPTICONS! I_guess_that explains why you're so good at deception.

 

by Drexle
4-03-02
In a world where the Human race was young, and the earth lay unexplored like a virgin lass...
Like me!
Shut up, cabin wench!
A group of high spirited adventurers set off to see whether the earth was round...
I told you!!!
Jeez! Arright, arright, here's your fuckin' fifty.
_____________It wasn't.____________ Take the high seas adventure of your life: "I Told You So!"
Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa
aaaaarrrrrggghh!!!

 

by Drexle
4-08-02
In the spirit of the famous "Take Back the Night" feminist crusade...
I would like to personally sponsor womanhood's new cause...
I call it the "Take back the Rape" crusade!
AH! POLEECE ITS RAPE!!!

 

by Drexle
4-11-02
My 300th strip... man, I wonder what I should make it about?
A TOBOR strip? A Skeet Shooting strip?
Or maybe I'll go old school and make 300 a "Starstruck" offshoot. Yeah, that sounds good!

 

by Drexle
4-11-02
FUCK!

 

by Drexle
4-18-02
"Telephone."
"Microphone."
"Phallic Symbol!"

 

by Drexle
4-18-02
"Robot."
"Homosexual."
"Whore!"

 

by Drexle
4-18-02
"Bench."
"Beatnik."
"Child Molester!"

 

by Drexle
4-18-02
"Donkey."
"Wirthling."
"Used Condom!"

 

by Drexle
4-19-02
Yesterday, at the library...
Hi there, I have this book that I tried to renew using your online services, but I didn't know what my student ID# was.
Oh, it's the number on the back of your student ID card.
No it's not, look.
Oh my, you must have one of the new cards...
Is there anywhere else I could have found this number?
No, I'm afraid that's top secret information... strictly classified.

 

by Drexle
4-19-02
So let me see if I get this straight... The school's library has an online book renewal system...
but in order to use it, you have to know some secret student ID number that they never actually tell you. Correct?
That's right.
Brilliant! That's the most contrived way of tricking students into accruing late fees I've ever seen!
Thanks, we try!

 

by Drexle
4-19-02
A few days ago...
Hmmm, looks like I have a book due at the library today. I think I'll try out the online renewal form.
Welcome, please enter your student ID# and password.
What's the student ID? Oh, it must be the Social Security number.
ERROR!
Okaaay, how about my PIN number?
ERROR!

 

by Drexle
4-20-02
Uhhh... my webserver login name?
ERROR!
The number of times I've been reamed by TOBOR?
ERROR!

 

by Drexle
4-20-02
Wait a minute, they scanned my ID card to check the books out to me, so maybe...
Hmmm, nothing but a barcode on the front...
And nothing at all on the back? What the fuck?!

 

by Drexle
4-20-02
Are you sure it's not the number of times I was reamed by TOBOR, because I could swear...
ERROR!!!

 

by Drexle
4-23-02
"Tits."
"Ass."
"Boner!"

 

by Drexle
4-23-02
"Metalhead."
"Geek."
"Colossal Geek!"

 

by Drexle
4-23-02
"Country."
"Gospel."
"Mallcore!"

Showing page 6.

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