All comics by areallystupidguy

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by areallystupidguy
11-29-03
UH OH ASH! IT'S TEAM ROCKET!
TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION! TO UNITE ALL-
hey, lookit that!
what? huh?
HENTAI POWER!
sh- shit...

 

by areallystupidguy
11-29-03
*polite clapping*
and hes done it. tiger woods has just broken the national golfing record. he also won the cup thingy. woooo.
*more polite clapping*
would it kill us to be more enthusiastic?
probably.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-30-03
dude, why are you eating the checkers?
*crunch crunch* duh! because the black ones look like little oreos!
so why are you eating the red ones too?
they taste better!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-30-03
SSSSSSSSSSSS
what's that noise?
I DUNNO.
SSSSSSSSSSSS
are you trying to pressurize all the air out of my room again?
...MAYBE.
*alt+f4*
GODAMMIT.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-01-03
dungeons and dragons
foul goblin! me and my three warrior team mates will defeat you! cast "energy zap!" deals 4d10+1! beat that!
ha! my armor class is higher than your pitiful attack roll! say your prayers, bizatch!
*gasp* only hope...saving throw! HA! 20! i only sustain half damage! now feel the wrath of my powerful MASTERWORK WARAXE!
n-no! that's just a legend! must use persuasion skill!
damn, i rule.
dude, why are you playing as the chick?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-05-03
now for a list of songs i hate. 1. Ace of Base "I Saw the Sun" 2. Aqua "Barbie Girl" 3. um...doo dee doo...i saw the sun, it opened up my-NO! NO!
i just got that song out of my head! now it will be with me for another 10 years! i dont wanna go back to the crazy house! i dont want them to send me away! GAH!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
BANG!
kids, if you or someone you know is listening to Ace of Base, tell someone. it isnt too late.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-05-03
there a problem officer?
yes, there have been reports of mass-murderings in the area, and what with the huge array of corpses behind you spelling "SATAN IS RULER" in 50 foot letters, i just thought i'd check it out.
THIS PROVES NOTHING!
guess you're right. carry on!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-07-03
doo dee da doo de dum... hey, its an adventurer! GRRR! DIE! oh wait, its just a stupid tree monster. THIS IS MY TERRITORY! GO THE HELL AWAY!
shit, is my watch still working? lalalala... hmmm, i could really use some batteries for my gameboy right now. HEY TREE MONSTER, GOT ANY BATTERIES?
IT'S FOR MY GAMEBOY YOU SICK WEIRDO!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-07-03
im sure some adventurer will come along sooner or later. HEY, TREE DEMON! SEE ANYBODY?
no? okay. geez, my back hurts. do we really have to stand up the whole time we're waiting for someone?
HOLEY MOLEY! IT'S A PARTY OF WORRIORS! INTO THE BATTLE!
gee! how random!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-08-03
YAR! I WILL NOW FIGHT YOU TO THE-hey wait, what the hell was that?
it was a battle transition. jesus, you act like you've never seen one before.
i read about them in the employee's manual, but it's absolutely nothing like i envisioned it to be.
ah, new guy huh? don't worry, we'll go easy on you.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-08-03
ahahahahaha! i have nearly defeated you. i have just summoned up a toranado to finish off you and your pitiful band of adventurers! AHAHAHAHA!
you fool! don't you realize? once you kill us, the game will end! our world will cease to exist! we'll die but take you with us! there's no future for any of us! ARGH!
...you're serious?
deadly serious.
WHOOO! i AM the man!
i dunno dude, to me it looked like that monster just gave up.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-12-03
fact 1: silicone is used to make up 70% of the earth's beaches. fact 2: silicone is also used to make up many women.
Go out and play on the beach.
i am in love with you because you are so healthy and getting so much exercise.
i love you too.
this has got to be the lamest attempt to get me to go outside yet.
i love your manly, suntanned body... let me kiss you...

 

by areallystupidguy
12-12-03
sorry i'm late. i got caught up with some paperwork...
he was jacking off...
and then i decided to work overtime because i need the money with christmas so close and all...
whoring himself to a mall santa...
and then i thought i'd take a walk in the park to clear my head...
jacking off in public...

 

by areallystupidguy
12-13-03
wow, christmas time is already rolling around. better call the folks.
hello?
wow, mom! is that you?
hell no. this is your cousin steve!
...dude, i told you a thousand times: no matter how much of it you inhale, you can't get high from helium. now where's my mom?
dude, you have a mom?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-13-03
hey, sis! how's it going?
im good. where are you living now?
im living with that red haired guy who impregnated me when i was 14 and who i eventually married.
...
could you be more specific?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-14-03
BAM BAM BA DUM BAM
hey mom.
hello dear. jesus, what the hell is that noise?
what noise? oh that. yeah, i think that's my roomate sam practicing drums.
your roomate's a guy? *sigh* somehow i always knew that someday i'd have this talk with you. dear, no matter what path of life you take, i will still love you. you know that right?
CHRIST MOM! WE GO THROUGH THIS EVERY YEAR! IM NOT GAY!
it's okay, dear. you just take as long as you need to accept your feelings. so when do i get to meet him?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-14-03
hello?
OMG JASON!!! IS THAT REALLY YOU? HOLY JESUS I HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL!
roger? i thought i killed you! what the hell are you doing at my parent's house?
I KILLED THEM JASON! THEY'RE ALL DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHA!
this is the greatest christmas gift of all... you really shouldnt have, man. i feel so bad that i didn't get you something.
don't worry about it. by the way, where do you keep the keys to your meat freezer?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-15-03
so who do you think it'll be?
i dunno. shhh, he's about to bring the vote thing to new york.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I QUICK SCENE CHANGE AND HE'S THERE! WHAT HAPPENED TO LAST YEAR WHEN HE SWAM ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN?!
dude, you are SUCH a retard.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-21-03
you are sixteen, going on seventeen lalalalalala!
*crappy dance numbers, more mindnumbing lyrics*
this is the worst fannypack music video yet.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-21-03
what do you call someone who hangs around musicians? A DRUMMER!
what did the drummer get on his IQ test? DROOL!
whats the best way to get easy handicap parking? PUT DRUMSTICKS ON YOUR DASHBOARD!
what do you call 12 drummers at the bottom of the ocean? A GOOD START!
...i totally hate all of you.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DRUMMER AND A DRUM MACHINE? YOU ONLY HAVE TO PUNCH INFORMATION INTO THE MACHINE ONCE! HAHAHA.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-21-03
how do you get a drummer off your doorstep? PAY FOR THE PIZZA! LMAO!
can we stop with the drummer jokes already? it really offends me.
alright, im sorry. hey, areallystupidguy?
yes?
GOT ANY STICKS?!? OMFGLOL!?1!?!11/ 2/2/1!1/!????!?!?!?
GOD DAMN YOU!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-22-03
sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down....
STAND UP! whoa, head rush! dude... whoa.. its all blurry, look at the colors.. whoa. getting dizzy.... dude...
sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down, sitting down....

 

by areallystupidguy
12-25-03
i still can't believe that you've chosen PROSTITUTION as a career path. so how did your first day go?
pretty good. i didn't know how much to charge though, so i just put up a sign that said "donations accepted".
did you make very much?
about 50 bucks. i think everybody gave me a nickel.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-28-03
hello, welcome back folks. it has come to our attention that all the upcoming presidential candidates are people that nobody wants to vote for.
which is why it is my decision that you all should vote for kermit the frog. kermit will no doubt be a splendid president in these troublesome times.
so just mark 'other' on your ballots and write kermit's name there. thank you for your time. this message brought to you by jim henson productions.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-29-03
you know, i cant really see what so many people hate about hippies.
yeah, i know what you mean.
they're really just fellow drug taking maniacs like you and i. plus they're fighting for a pretty good cause.
totally man.
but then we come to people like this guy...
make the 70s show and hour long! make the 70s show an hour long!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-29-03
boinky33: i just put some pics of kitty's tits in the general discussion. i hope she doesnt mind...
holy shit! really?
moments later...
boinky33: YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D AHAHAHA!
NOOOOOOOO!
im gonna try to be serious in my next movie!
i'm going to kill you in my dreams tonight.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-29-03
this year i resolve to not hammer a nail into my head.
It's an addiciton.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-30-03
whoa...i feel dizzy....
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M KILLING YOU WITH HIGH FREQUENCY WAVES I'M EMMITING FROM MY MONITOR. YOU'LL BE DEAD IN MOMENTS.
*choke gasp* vision fading...turn it off...
IM SORRY DAVE, I''M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. I SUGGEST YOU TAKE THIS TIME TO WRITE OUT A FAREWELL LETTER TO YOUR RELATIVES.
WARNING. WE ARE NOW TESTING OUR CITY'S EMERGENCY ELECTRICAL BACKUP SYSTEMS. DO NOT PANIC. THIS IS JUST A TEST. SHUTTING DOWN POWER...
that was close!
hello, welcome to MAC OS. press any key to continue.

 

hi there! im a furry! who are you? lets sleep together!
sounds good to me!
hold on, you have to wear this doggy costume or else we can't...
uh...
oh yeeeahhh, that makes me so HOT!
this had better be the best lay ever.

 

they should make a "girls of stripreator" issue of playboy.
he was a kind man. a gentleman, a very kind and gentle soul...

 

i can do 10 chinups!
oh yeah? well i can do A HUNDRED!
no you can't.
well, not in a ROW...

 

wow! that was some great beer! now lets get going!
alright!
much later...
just where the hell are we going?
i dunno. i was thinking of asking YOU that a couple months ago when we passed through nebraska...

 

ooo, excellent! these mushrooms are growing wonderfully! only a few more months and they'll be ready to sell!
hi there officer! wanna buy some psychedelic mushrooms? they're my finest breed!
psychedelic mushrooms?
that's right! and this is just a few of 'em! got a truckload more back in my grow lab!
sir, come with me...

 

so, how do you think you'll do on your science exam?
im gonna do great because it's hard NOT to do great when you CHEAT!
how? arent they checking kid's arms for answers written down this year??
sure. but all i have to do is write the answers on my tongue and then lick my test form! its brilliant!
these kids are SO fucked up.
*lick lick lick lick*

 

NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS!
NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS!
this is the most annoying game ever.
NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS! NONE SHALL PASS!

 

business is horrible. i play my harmonica as good as i can but no one is stopping to give me any money.
you're going about this business all wrong.
what do you mean?
well... have you ever heard of the most famous street performer ever, the naked cowboy?
2 hours later...
i'm going to make you pay for this.
hey, it wasn't my idea for you to start masturbating and jumping on everybody...

 

here i am at a CD store...
hmmm...cannibal corpse greatest hits. i think i'll get this.
OMG! you weren't going to actually BUY cannibal corpse were you?! they SO aren't death metal!
*trying not to laugh uproariously at the dumbass* and what is some death metal that you can recommend?
oh, you know: anthrax, the cure...
seriously.

 

amazing! it looks like the panthers could WIN the superbowl this year!
geez, apocalypse time again?
wow, and a final field goal wins the game for the patriots!
oops.

 

it says here in the paper that janet jackson's nipple slip at the superbowl is the most rewatched clip in tivo history.
it's stupid how people go crazy over nudity in TV and video games. you can get it in bulk on the internet, people. stop making such a big deal about this stuff.
rewind it again.
gladly.

 

beans beans the musical fruit. the more you eat, the more you toot. the more you toot the better you feel, so eat some beans for every meal.
NO! YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD! MILLIONS DIE OF STARVATION EVERY DAY, AND YOU DARE TO WASTE BEANS ON TOOTING?! YOU MAKE ME SICK!
thank you, wisdom spaniard.
*whimper*
also, they might be magic beans.

 

THE LORD WILL SMITE THE EARTH WITH HIS GIANT METEOR AND-oh, hello. will you join our religion?
hell no! your stupid religion discriminates homosexuals and is just really stupid. oh, and i'm a vampire. rarr!
GOOD LORD! A VAMPIRE! I MUST RALLY BROTHER PETER AND THE REST TO STOP HIM! satan's brethren must not be allowed to walk god's green earth!
HALT YOUR DISCRIMINATING WAYS, MAN OF GOD! this guy isn't a vampire. he is a poser goth dude.
oh. wanna join our religion, kind sir?
are you fucking kidding me?

 

alright bush. i am an honorable descendant of hideki tojo, that one guy during WWII. i am here to kill you.
shucks howdy! that isn't very nice!
eh? who the hell are you?
MY NAME IS NOT IMPORTANT! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO ASSASSINATE OUR FEARLESS LEADER!? WE WATCH YOUR ANIME, NOW JUST LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!
your reasoning sucks.
he is strong, perhaps TOO strong...

 

mr. bush, there is absolutely no way we can keep you in office another year. sorry, we tried.
*sob* i guess we'll just have to abolish the constitution to keep me in office for 40 more years...
HOLD IT! mr. bush, you can't be serious about this! would you really abolish what our founding fathers cast upon this nation back in the day! COULD YOU THROW AWAY AMERICANN HISTORY!?
yes.
just keep stalling until november...
i like your hat mr. wisdom spaniard!

 

alright mr. janitor guy. we can't think of any ideas for a good new anime, so do you have any ideas?
sure do: we rip off pokemon, right? then, we take all the likeable aspects out of it, and turn it into a CARD GAME. still with me?
yeah! and they'll all fight in this cave...with these DEMONS! it'll be brilliant! of course, we'll have to cut back on the acting and animation budget to splurge on advertising...
let's toss in a totally stupid theme song, and a totally grating and annoying cast of main characters...this could win us an EMMY!
who the HELL is responsible for this?
[episode 3497: the demon cave BATTLE!] come on, yugi! we're going to battle the enemy in the cave! with DEMONS!

 

Today in English...
alright class, today i have a new seating arrangement for you. i've assigned you some questions to ask your new neighbor to get to know each other better, and then we can get started.
what a stupid idea.
hey there, um, jonathan. "what movie do you feel you can most identify with?"
Carrie.
:O

 

wow, it feels so great to have a girlfriend on valentine's day. you are the only one i know who really understands me. i feel so happy when i am around you. i feel like the luckiest man alive.
you're not real, are you?
i'm a figment of your sex deprivation.

 

first date...
alright, my car's parked over here...
um...a car? do you mind if we take a bus or something?
later...
i'm sorry about that. you see, i've been afraid of cars ever since my family died in a car accident when i was 8. i was the only one who lived.
what kinda car?

 

Uniform motion is motion at a constant speed in a straight line. Uniform motion can be described by a few simple equations. The distance s covered by a body moving with velocity...
Uniformly accelerated motion is motion during which the acceleration remains constant. The average velocity during this time is one half the sum of the initial and final velocities.
what the fuck are you talking about?

 

all these are actual license plates i've spotted.
check out that license plate! 'SADLEUP'! what a dumb hick!
what about that one? 'LAMAFUN'? if you're having fun with a llama you're using it the wrong way.
'IBJAMIN'? heh, disco!
'JDTRTLE'? the hell? 'Jade Turtle' maybe? what the hell is that supposed to mean?
don't we have anything better to do on a saturday night than to hang around in the mall parking lot and make fun of people's license plates?
dude, i'm out here looking for an 'R2D2' one i saw the other day. nobody ASKED you to come.

 

wow, it's hard to believe i've actually made 300 comics. my, what fun i've had. man, the places i've seen.
for example, i never thought i'd see the bottom of the ocean, but here i am! wow, fishies!
i feel so accomplished.
HOW THE HELL ARE YOU BREATHING?

Showing page 6.

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