All comics by ojcme

Profile

 

by ojcme
6-23-07
You lying cucksucker.
A what?
Cocksucker, what'd I say?
You said cuckcusker.
Want to suck a cuck?
As soon as I figure out what one is!

 

by ojcme
6-25-07
Mi villiage es el best en Mexico. But me no es happy. The streets are paved with cheap hookers y used needles. But me no find me companina. Mi need love.
Mi decide to hop the border. Maybe ammerica es the place to find true love.
AMBULANCIA ES MUY LOUD!

 

by ojcme
6-25-07
Mi es needs to find a job for mi.
If mi don't, mi, famlia potential will starve. Mi must get only work mi can get as an immigrant illegal!
Can I help you, beaner?
Mi es need a job application.

 

by ojcme
6-25-07
No way are you getting a job here, I bet you're not even legal.
But mi heart es breaking! Mi need el true love!
Hold on, my manager is telling me that I'm fired, and you can start right away.
Mi Luck es changing!
YOU STUPID BEANER! YOU STOLE MY JOB!
NO ES COMPRENDE!

 

by ojcme
6-25-07
So there I was, deep in the asshole of some iraq dude, his name was kuai or some dumb shit like that, when my CO comes on and tells me I gotta pull out!
And so I'm panicking, and in a rush, I somehow shoot him in the back of the head.
Craziest damn day of my life.

 

by ojcme
6-28-07
Hey, you want to have hot sex?
No, I'm too busy leveling up my night elf.

 

by ojcme
6-29-07
The furnace clean, but wait 'til you see Daddy.

 

by ojcme
6-29-07
Hey, you want to have hot sex?

 

by ojcme
7-02-07
Help! My purse has been stolen.
Hmmm, now what did my mother tell me about situations like this...
Never trust anything with a cunt, son.
Okay, cunt-bearer!

 

by ojcme
7-02-07
Hi, I'm monica.
Hi, Monica,
You sniveling cunt.

 

by ojcme
7-02-07
Man, I hate my girlfriend, she's sooo young. I mean juvenile.
Same with mine, she's been constant trouble since I met her.
Maybe it's best if we moved on. You know, tried seeing someone new.
You know what? That's a great idea.
Come on, little girl. You can trust me and my White Van. It leads to a magical land!
'kay.

 

by ojcme
7-05-07
How can I help you, my friend.
Oh, my good sir. I'll take one of your revolting kids meals for my legal daughter.
Tu daughter?
Yes, my daughter. I would be terribly upset if anything happened to her.
Later
Mi en es troublemendo gigantico.
I'm rebelling against my father by being a hippie.

 

by ojcme
7-05-07
Dude, how's it going?
Not bad, I'm playing XBOX Live. Christ, everyone keeps calling me a nigger.
That's what you get for playing with 12 year olds.
I feel funny.
Well, it was bound to happen.
Then 12 year olds be trippin' yo.

 

by ojcme
7-06-07
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ...... fucking muslims
pk2gun1 lebanese1050 Ancephalic FUCK YOU [[SWOLLOW IT]] YOU WISH YOU LIVED IN THE *USA* FREE!!
pinches gringos manchados!! como me gustaria que les hicieran lo mismo xD
back over the lil shit heads and kill them. hell i would start just shooting them one by one
this is so sick is this what you do to liberate them?
shut up u little girl, thts war man

 

by ojcme
7-06-07
Good job guys!
well at least they still have their lives. these bastards could have lined em up and shot them in the head for the sheer fun of it.
they should put iraqi pigs in that car and then crush it!
They  should have put your familey in thier and then crush it you fucking pig.
and the way they were shoot supports what you said >_> nice tank though.
This site is pretty cool for lovable girls - 'CAMZNOW DOT COM' -mstrmuzikw184

 

by ojcme
7-06-07
Man, I keep renaming everyone on Trillian, and I can't keep track of who they are anymore.
Let's see here, Foetual Alcohol Syndrome, Heart Attack City, Cut Yourself, Vicious Cunt, and Dan.
It's like they're all White House Correspondents and I'm George W Bush.
Who's FatFuck?
That's me D;
How the fuck did you pronounce that?

 

by ojcme
7-08-07
Am I gay if I have a pen in my mouth all the time?
No, but you would be gay if you had my penis in there instead.
Please?

 

by ojcme
7-08-07
Oh fuck, here comes another of those hot topic fat goth chicks.
It's cool, check this out...
Hey, you! Fat chick! You know why I enjoy you kids who have their favorite bands on their shirts?
Why?
It makes it easier to humiliate and insult them, thus working on your insecurities and potenially getting me in bed with you, freak.
Okay.

 

by ojcme
7-08-07
And so I said "Gravitons are a theoretical particle that hasn't been proven to exist."
HAHA
The subatomic Zoo.

 

by ojcme
7-12-07
So Tobor, why do you want to work at target?
RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
I admire your spirit and conviction Tobor, and the fact that you are red is a big plus. Plus, you seem to have a lot of spirit. How about you work electronics?
RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Great, we'll start you as long as you're willing to change your bottom half to look tan.
I WILL CHANGE THE COLOR OF MY ROD HU-MAN!

 

by ojcme
7-12-07
Alright, so you're my trainer?
Yeah, I cook rice and play a shitload of Star Wars Galaxies. Just the other day, I got bountyhunted.
Okay, where does this go, I don't see the aisle number anywhere...
A couple of weeks ago, my friends and I got bountyhunted too.
Okay, so I don't have any friends.

 

by ojcme
7-13-07
There are multiple ways to interpret "Love is a Fist" By Mr. Bungle.
Howso? The song seems pretty straightforward to me.
Oh.

 

by ojcme
7-14-07
*Now talking in #stripcreator

 

by ojcme
7-16-07
You feeling alright?
I'm feeling fine, this meal is just a little undercooked, I think. Where's our waiter?
I think he's coming around now. Why don't we head out anyways? I have something to show you at home.
Honey, I think I'm pregnant.
I'm breaking up with you, you stupid whore.

 

by ojcme
7-19-07
Lakshmi migrated to pakistan because she said penises in india are too small, dark, stinky, and wrapped around with skin and muslim penises are clean, large, and can be used as ladder to clean windows
of IT buildings in india and it also comes with loads of liquid which helps the window neat and clean. oh i get it no wonder why all indian women love window job!

 

by ojcme
7-27-07
This is a doctor's office, somehow
Congratulations, you're pregnant!
Oh boy, I'm going to keep it and not abort!
And thus, her life was ruined forever.

 

by ojcme
7-29-07
Mr. Bush, we need to talk about your latest appearence.
In the ghetto? I think it went well.
I have no idea how we can spin this.
I showed these people our economic policity. Trickle down economics!
Sir, you pissed on 4 ghetto niggers.
Exactly!

 

by ojcme
7-31-07
Terrorist!
Freedom Fighter!
Freedom Fighter!
Terrorist, now fire!
Th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!
Ain't I a stinker?

 

by ojcme
8-08-07
You fail at life.
Dude, you fail at life so hard that your mom killed herself.
*sniff* Momma, why did you desert me?
Oh shit.
Do you have any idea why I called you in here?
Because you want to suck my dick?

 

by ojcme
8-13-07
Dude, I don't know about my comics. If I could rate myself, I'd give myself a 3.
You motherfucking cunt, I'll rape your asshole while you sleep and disembowl your mother with my penis. I'll tie your sister to the back of my car and drive off into the sunset..
I guess we're all our own harshest critics, aren't we?
...I'll fuck your dad and he'll like it. I'll stick my hand up your ass as far as it can go. I'll expose myself to all your aunts. I'll rape your firstborn son. I'll kill you for being such a fag
Cunt.

 

by ojcme
8-27-07
Here at target, you'll be working with a variety of different people. There are the blacks.
I'm from the streets, kyol.
The mexicans.
Mi es el imcompitante!
And the serial rapists.
RAAAAAAR!

 

You smell like Granola.
by ojcme, 9-05-07

 

by ojcme
9-12-07
Nowadays, I can't laugh at most comics I read.
You laugh all the time after reading that shit. You love that comic shit.
It's more of an ironic laugh than anything else. It takes a while too, so I'm just laughing because of something I thought.
Well, that's retarded.

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
O.O
;_;
8=====>
^_^
<===/==8
G_G

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
My vagina is stinking and rottng. All day and all night I can smell my vagina slowly rotting.
Gangrene has set in and it is not pretty. When my period hits, it causes my vagina to look like a crash scene.
My stinking, rotting, gangrenous vagina needs cock, and I will still get it.

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
My boss is a nigger.
nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger
Hello boss nigger.
Hi.

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
My boss is a cracka.
cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka cracka
Hello, boss cracka.
Whutup dawg?

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
Mi jefe es un conductor de esclavo
conductor de esclavo conductor de esclavo conductor de esclavo conductor de esclavo conductor de esclavo conductor de esclavo
Hola, conductor de esclavo.
Get back to work you fucking spic.

 

by ojcme
9-13-07
Я не имею свободу.
Я не имею середины произвести еду
Вы будете американской свиньей.
Я буду американским героем.

 

by ojcme
9-16-07
Hey, I'll show you where this is, follow me.
Why are you linking arms with me?
Do you want to move in with me?
And all your repeatedly stabbed puppets that look like me? No thanks.
WHY WON'T YOU MARRY ME?
Uhhhhh

 

by ojcme
9-17-07
Why do you have an "Allah is not my god" bumper sticker?
Because as a christian person and an american, I think that anyone who believes in allah is doomed to hellfire.
You do realize that allah is just another word for god, so that means that you technically worship "allah" as well.
Well shit, guess I'm going to have to find another reason to beat muslims to death.
Next week, on the Captain Obvious show
I think I'm fucking a chicken.

 

by ojcme
9-17-07
Hey, do you want to learn about the creation of man?
This had better be the weirest euphemism for sex I have ever heard....
No.

 

by ojcme
9-19-07
I fuck fruits.
I fuck fruity people.
I fuck your mom.
I fuck a real doll and pretend it's your mother.
;_;
;_;

 

by ojcme
9-19-07
I'm trying to stop being gay.
Come to the therapy sessions with me! We do stuff like touch therapy.
Oh, what's that?
It's where we hug and one of us pretends we're the supporting father figure we never had growing up.
How is that different from when we were fucking?

 

by ojcme
9-24-07
ANIME REFERENCE
ANIME REFERENCE
WHY WASN'T I BORN IN JAPAN?

 

by ojcme
9-28-07
One google search later...
Ohhhhhhhhh!
GOD I'VE NEVER BEEN SO TURNED ON IN ALL MY LIFE.
Go Away, I'm a monster!
Hey, It's me shelia, the love of your life from high school. I came to say that I want to have hot sex with...OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?

 

by ojcme
10-01-07
Oh, what the fuck is it now?
Daddy, I'm scared. We keep listening to the Dillinger Escape Plan over and over. It's too noisy for me.
You litte shit, you better take that back. Just for that, we're listening to calculating infinity again extremely loud this time.
Noooooo!
Later in life.
I like the Dillinger Escape Plan, I guess.
WAAAAH! DADDY, STOP PLAYING IT, DADDY.

 

by ojcme
10-15-07
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of kids.
Yeah, me neither. I hate it when I hear one of my friends gets a baby. Why not deal with the people here first?
Sounds like you're a misanthrope.
Heh, yeah.
Marry me?
lol, no.

 

by ojcme
10-22-07
Heeeeey, it's my uncle Clayton. What're you up to now?
Well.....
First I'm gonna break into this retarded cunt's house.
HELLZ YEAH BIOTCHES
hurrrrrrrr
Then I'm gonna get my sexual assault on.

 

by ojcme
11-20-07
Oh boy, the new Awkward Encounters DVD is out!
Hey, um, I know we play games together sometimes, and I wanted to know if we could, um, do it?
I guess so......
Oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm sorry.
It's alright. Premature ejaculation happens to many guys that barely talk to girls, let alone see them naked.

Showing page 6.

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