All comics by ojcme

Profile

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Meanwhile, up my ass....
I hate all black people
I hate you and everyone I've ever met
I hate this comic
I hate those old guys, they remind me of the awesomeness of my home country. ALL HAIL CHINA!
You make me so horny right now, I wanna screw you.
You do?
I'm just fucking with you.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
I hate the south.
I JUST LOVE THE SOUTH!
Really? What do you have to say about the fact that those liberal states are the only ones keeping your economy afloat?
YOU HATE FREEDOM!
*Sigh* That's right, I hate freedom.
This comic is mediocre at best.
I hypothesize that the comic maker sucks cocks for coke.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Meanwhile.....
This is a surrealist investigation into the deep rooted structures of the psyche
You really need to get some.
I like to beat minorities
I can understand your thoughts
HOW?
You must understand that I am not real
Wow, I am retarded.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Little children are the best lays because they are so tight
Wow, I thought that it had something to do with the restrictions of the catholic church.
Nope
Get over here.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
I like saying meanwhile
Hey!
Who said that?
It's GOD!
That's highly improbable since I'm an athiest. In all likelyhood, I've gone crazy and I'm hearing a voice in my head.
You're right. But is that going to stop you from listening to me when I tell you to kill people?
HELL NO!

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Kafka's nightmare
I am the symbol of the metamorphasis of the soul.
I don't believe in such a thing.
You deny your true nature because you cannot deal with the fact that human beings can change.
Nuke all of humanity.
Do you really believe that?
You better leave before I get the RAID out.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Look at me, I'm not black.
Thus destroying the stereotype that all black people steal.
Actually, I'm just telling you that because I got cosmetic surgery. So technically, I'm a black man stealing. I just don't look black.
Why the hell would you do that?
So that the police don't constantly beat me, DUH!
The government constantly arrests me and puts me in Guatanamo Bay.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
I am so emo right now.
I think I've become the embodiment of the writer's psyche.
You are so goddamned annoying.
I think that Penny Arcade is a horrible comic.
Tycho stopped spanking me.
That explains everything.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Yo, I be a stereotypical black man. I be chillin' and shit while I eat wassamelons.
So, what's your job?
I work gas chambers. Gotta depopulate them jews!
Oh god, you're horrible.
You should see what I do to the Christians.
YES!

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Hello robot number two, how are you?
Better now. Although I'm experiencing problems.
Oh?
You see, I can never attain the levels of rape that you have in your past.
Silly rape bot #332332, you can't out rape me.
CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
In all likelihood, I don't exist.
Yeah, we get it Jesus, you're the embodiment of traditions that, if anyone with half a brain would see, aren't related to Christianity in the first place.
Wow, you're so smart. Smarter than most of the fundamentalist who use my name in their retarded vandettas against things.
That is because I'm a 50 year old virgin male.
That explains everything.
Nothing explains nothing.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
I am so superior to any other god out there.
That may be true, but people are still irrationally worshipping you like a god. What makes you so superior to them?
See these mouth tentacles? They're not just for show you know.
...
Come here.
!!!

 
by ojcme, 1-04-06

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
Meanwhile, at a Civil Rights protest
GRRR! We are big bad establishment and we hate black people
Yo, why you be sprayin' me an' shit? All I wanted to know was the time!
Ummm....errrrr....ummmmmmmm
LOOK OUT! HE HAS A FIREARM!
You're fucking racist.

 

by ojcme
1-04-06
I reject the traditional viewpoint of modernistic society.
I reject your rejection to modernistic society.
I reject your rejection to my rejection.
All in all, I reject you as a whole.

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
Note: This is a parody
There is a great country called america
A country where everyone has freedoms to vote and whatnot.
Except that I keep getting raped by a priest who is confuesed sexually.
I think what makes this country great is the fact that we can take what we want, and have no history of looking at consequences.
Our country is great because we're lazy, narcasisstic assholes who don't know what the consequences of our actions are?
HELL YES YOU T-wait, you're not one of them sand negroes.

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
I embrace the apocalypse.
I embrace your end.
You hate me because you're closed minded.
On the contrary, I just hate lazy, narcisisstic people who are self depreciating.
Whatever, dude. I'm going to go cut my wrists.
You'd think they'd depopulate faster but they don't.

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
At a doctor's office.
Hello, sir. We've been getting complaints.
Of what?
Well, for one thing, you seem to be doing unethical surgery procedures.
Like what?
Apparently, you've been giving ID tags to all the jewish people who come here.
People?

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
Prison....OF RACISM!
...so black person number one and black person number two.....
Wait a minute here....
...black people look different from each other?

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
Wrong kind of temple
What's wrong, father?
I've been having problems with the other priests.
What's wrong?
I'm an outcast because I don't have sex with little boys.
Is it because you love your fellow man too much?
It's because I have better access to other kids and they're just jelous.

 

by ojcme
1-08-06
Based off of a conversation I had.
How do you write horrible webcomics?
Well, if you allow me to use a metaphor, webcomics are a lot like urine.
How?
Well, the idea has got to flow (like urine) and hopefully it goes on open wounds (someone who takes offense.) Now, if you let me mix metaphors, there's people who enjoy getting pissed on (audience)
What do you do with them?
You piss on them. And they like it.

 

by ojcme
1-10-06
Random scene attack
Uncle Sal, where do babies come from?
This is actually a very complicated answer. But it can be simplified into this: Babies come when a mother and father love each other very much.
No stork?
No. And then, what happens after that is.....fuck it. Babies come from a raw mechanical process by two adults of opposite gender. It doesn't stop the process if they don't love each other.
That explains me.
Yes. Now, allow me to demonstrate......

 

by ojcme
1-10-06
House Visit.
I'm sorry to tell you this, little girl, but I raped your dog.
I don't own a dog.
Not anymore. I raped it so hard it got raped out of existance.
How is that even possible?
If you fucking speak up again, that won't be the only thing I'll rape out of existence.

 

by ojcme
1-10-06
I am an angel.
In all likelihood, I'm insane.
No you're not. I have come to deliver unto you a message and a quest.
Wait, you're Loki. You're the one that almost got raped in the Sodom and Gamorrah story in the bible, and so you laid waste to it. What's the matter, don't like getting anally raped?
God damnit, I'm not gay. I just did that because.......god told me to.
Yeah, right. Fag.

 

by ojcme
1-10-06
We have now achieved over 20 of these comics.
Yes, thus proving that it's quality over quantity.
I hate you.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
PSYCHO SPACE IS MAKING THINGS CRAZY!
I'm suing you.
Whatever for?
Your grandmother forced herself on me.
That's impossible. She's been dead for 13 years.
Well, when I say forced herself on me, I mean dug her up and fucked her. I have some more bad news, since I was the one who gave her the cancer to begin with.
It's alright. I'd already had my fill of her 5 years ago.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
I hate Truth Ads.
DO YOU KNOW THAT CIGARETTES CAUSE MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS? TRUTH!
Yes, I know. You're not stating anything I haven't heard before.
WE HAVE TO MAKE THESE ADS BECAUSE WE GOT BIG TOBACCO TO MAKE THEM BECAUSE WE SUED THEM
God stop shouting. Jesus you're pissing me off.
WE ALL HATE PEOPLE'S FREEDOM OF CHOICE DESPITE CLAIMING TO BE LIBERALS.
GOD! I'M SMOKING 10 CIGS A DAY JUST TO SPITE YOU GUYS NOW.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
Based off my sister
Oh god, meat is, like, SO BAD FOR YOU!
I'll eat my meat, thanks.
You know, the most violent nations eat meat. I mean, look at India. India doesn't eat meat and look at how they are.
Yes. They're completely non violent. Are you completely retarded?
It probably stems from not eating meat.
I concurr.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
I swear this is based off of something my sister's said.
So, I just smelled this awful fart. Did you do it?
No. That's like, so impossible. I don't eat meat and my body is, like, soooo pure! I don't sweat anymore and I even only bathe a few times a week.
Jesus Christ, you don't sweat anymore? That's probably really fucking unhealthy. Oh, and vegetable farts are the worst.
You're just angry because you eat meat and meat is, like, SO BAD FOR YOU!
Christ, you're still digesting shit. That means you still fart. God, you what the hell?
STOP EATING MEAT!

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
Panel 1...or is it?
I am Johnathan Frakes. Former host of Beyond Belief....or am I?
NO! DON'T DO THAT FUCKING PRETENTIOUS SMILE AFTER THAT RHETORICAL QUESTION!
Panel 2...or is it?
But why not? It is what I always do in that show. It's always after we show those shitty pretentious shows....or do we?
In retrospect, you should get prison raped.
Panel 3...or is it?
You know, I used to be a cool guy on Star Trek. You could tell I wasn't taking that shit seriously....or do I?
Is your face in my fist or is my fist in your face?

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
My sister's the crab
You know, according to macrobiotics, you should never eat food cooked with anger.
What? Cooking with anger? How does that relate to the person eating it?
The energy transfers from the guy making it.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
You're just being close-minded.
I'm going to force feed you some angry foot pie.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
She's the chair now. NOW WE'RE SIBLINGS!
I hate George W Bush.
Finally, something we can agree on.
I mean, modern society is, like, so bad for you! It was much better back in the old days when we had villages and whatnot.
Figures you'd say something like that. Sometimes I just talk to you just to see how crazy you get.
You give off negative energy waves.
You constantly rape quantum physics with every iteration of this "engergy" bullshit.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
She's a dirty hippie. I'm a liberal, keep in mind.
So, what's new with my little poo?
Well, I have carpal tunnel.
That's entirely your fault. You're too negative, and it's causing problems.
It's not like my fault. It's from stabbing practice.
MEAT EATER
Either that or chronic masturbation.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
She's a clown now and forever.
So I rented "What the Bleep do we Know"
God, I hate that movie.
I finally understand why quantum physics is so important!
So let me get this straight--I say all these cool facts about it and it illicits a "so so" reaction from you. And suddenly, someone makes a shit fest of a movie about it and you're all over it?
It was so interesting.
Less talkie, more bukkake

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
This happened while she was driving me in her car.
So, I told you I'm bisexual, right?
No you didn't.
Well, I am. I like girls and guys and whatnot.
Really? Well, that's....interesting.....
I feel people's energies is more important than their gender.
God, I will never be able to jerk off to lesbian porn....for the nest couple of minutes.

 

by ojcme
1-11-06
My house.
Hi, can I help you?
Yeah, I'm here from the US government. Suprise rape room inspection.
Damnit, I got that rape room because it complemented the Den so well.
Well, even so, I am still going to have to ask you to let me inspect it.
It's okay, sir. My rape room has nothing but Arabs in it.
Oh, then it's fine. Everyone knows that Arabs aren't people.

 

by ojcme
1-12-06
We have the two people. One is a sinner.
Man, I hate christianity and christians.
Oh. Did you know that Christians are loving people?
Look at how easily we converted her.
Why no, I never knew that. Wow, Christianity sounds great!
Yeah, but we hate fags, Catholics, Jews, D+D players, comptuer gamers, and pretty much everyone else that doesn't follow my insane ideology that's hard wired into the dumbest concepts of Christianity.
In the end, Jack Chick is retarded.
I'm totally cool with that.
Jesus Christ, you have no ability to think for yourself, do you?

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
So after the accident, they put me in a wheelchair until I recover.
Oh that's too bad. I wish there was something I could do about that.
You could stop pushing me down the stairs all the time.
Nag nag nag. You know what'd look good on your face right now?
What?
Cement.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
Floating on clouds of horridness
So, how was your trip to Florida.
Good, although I recommend not going to Sea World.
Why not?
I was raped by a dolphin.
It happens more times a year than people get attacked by sharks. You should've just stayed out of the water.
I didn't go in the water.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
I have some bad news.
Is it about my father?
Oh no. Your father's dead anyways. It doesn't matter. It has to do with you. You see, I notice you looking gothic and I want to operate.
Oh? What'll you do to keep me from feeling all dark and lonely inside?
Well, I'm trying to decide either a lobotomy or to just beat the shit out of you.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
I'm from the STREETS
Oh, why do you look so sad, little girl?
It's because my father keeps trying to get me to touch his penis.
That's too bad. You can touch me instead.
Why?
I'm being controlled by my puppeteer's penis. And he likes it when litle girls touch it.
This is just too messed up to be funny.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
Prision of child molestation
So, what're you in for?
Oh, I see. You think I'm here for child molestaton just because I'm a priest.
That's what I'm here for.
Oh really. That's great! I thought I was gonna get prision raped because it's a morally reprehensible crime even to prisioners.
Wanna do it anyways?
How are you making the arms move with your penis like that?

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
So remember kids, strangers offering you candy just means that they want to be friends!
Oh Pablo, you're so nice. I wanna just give you the biggest hug in the world!
Oh yeah, come here. That's right. Hug me.
SUPRISE! It's just me, Jesus, in disguise.
Jesus Christ, what're you doing disguising as a little kid?
I'm lonely. Now, less talk, more fisting.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
How the fuck did you get in here?
Back away, scientist man. Technology is evil and I want to bring this world back to the good old days.
You know, I cure diseases. You want to set your immune system back to that point? You'd get bacterially raped.
I don't care, man. Modern society creates most of the problems.
Security? I have a protestor in my lab. Commence code: rape.

 

by ojcme
1-15-06
Answering the age old question: Is raping a clown funny?
So, why do you look so sad?
Someone forced themselves on me. It was horrible.
Oh.....really....That's so sad. Please excuse me while I go into another room to cry.
It's okay, you can do so in front of me.
I'm too much of a man for that. Now, before I do so, keep in mind my cries sound an awful lot like laughter.....

 

by ojcme
1-16-06
PIMPIN' MY SISTER THE LEGAL WAY!
Yeah, I definately think the Pegans had a lot of great ways to celebrate.
Alright, I agree that their celebration of the seasons was awesome- food and orgies. But you also have been doing a lot of pegan rituals in the guise of christianity.
Well, their appreaciation of the Earth being in cycles and whatnot is important.
The cylical nature of the Earth can be explained through physics.
But it misses something important...
Yeah. It misses the crazy bullshit.

 

by ojcme
1-16-06
Did you catch Gore's speech?
HELL NO! I'm no liberal faggot asshole.
Oh really? So, what do you think of what America's doing in this country so far?
Bush has every right, and if you think differently, you're a terrorist. Or you have no balls, since you're a liberal fag.
Fine. Don't listen to me. I hope everyone of your relatives dies in the Iraq occupation.
WHAT? How dare you say something like that! What do you think you are, Dick Cheeney?

 

by ojcme
1-21-06
Wanted: Female between 18 and 25. Must love cooking me dinner and never second guessing me.
Oh, and must be willing to take a few punches if she ever fucking crosses me again.
Christ, you're a massaginist.
What the fuck is a massaginist and what does it have to do with me not having my dinner cooking?
I love you.

 

by ojcme
1-21-06
I've been seeing a lot more spelling mistakes in these comics of yours lately.
Oh yeah? Fuck you. I blame the mafia.
Why's that? Oh, and I like betting butt reamed.
You certainly do. Now, it's the mafia's fault. Damn Degos.
What?
Don't make me get out black thunder again.

 

by ojcme
1-21-06
SEE THIS CHILD? SEE IT? YOU'RE LETTING IT STARVE. YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSION. I AM USING THE TYPICAL CONVENTION OF A GUILT TRIP TO CONVICE YOU TO HELP THIS CHILD.
Mister, when am I getting some of the food you brought?
YOU WON'T UNTIL YOU START ACTING CUTER! I'M NOT GOING TO JUST GIVE FOOD TO A KID WHO'S NOT NETTING ME ANY REAL SALES! GO STARVE FOR ALL I CARE!
The camera's still running, mister.
Oh shit. Well, I'm fucked.
The least you can do is stop beating me with your penis.

Showing page 1.

Next »