All comics by BDD

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by BDD
2-23-03
MS Paint...what a program. So much had been made with it. Everything from children's sketches to professional artists' work.
stripcreator.com
Of course, not all MS Paint products are so terrible. Why, without MS Paint we wouldn't have such triumphant masterpieces as...
"...this. Now excuse me while I go weep for humanity."

 

by BDD
2-23-03
[insert punchline here]

 

by BDD
2-23-03
The default kids are actually kind of cute if you look closely. Granted, their eyes are somewhat strange, but that's just their being Asian.
Heh...they actually are pretty cute.
...did I say that out loud?

 

by BDD
2-24-03

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Lou, Lou, you're doing awful today! You've thrown four home run pitches this inning! Hit the showers, kid.
Yes sir...*sniff*
BANG! BANG! (metal hitting metal...) BANG! Gshhh...WOOSH! (water gushing out)
LOU!!!!
Just doing what you told me, sir...

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Fired from his pitching career, Literal Lou wanders the streets.
Now what will I do? This is terrible.
Hey big boy, you wanna have some fun?
What's that?
You know, get funky...get down!!!
LOU!!!
...I don't get it. I'm not really having much fun.
That's it. I give up on this shitty town.

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Feeling even more rejected, Literal Lou walks down the street, kicking around a pail.
Dude, what the fuck is that bastard doing?
He was giving me shit so I told him to kick the bucket...
LOU!!!

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Having escaped the Krollwraiths, Bryson and the Fellowship leave the now unsafe town.
So where are we going?
To Ramsdell. Their Algebra Elves will know the way.
And so, Bryson joined the Fellowship,
DAMN Matt has a nice ass!
I'm beginning to regret this trip.
and they set off to Ramsdell.
Are we there yet?
Did I forget the dildos back there?

 

by BDD
2-24-03
This is Weathertop, an ancient watch tower from a kingdom long past. We can spend the night here.
Ooh, I wonder if he's willing to share his sleeping bag...
Hello Mr. Spencer, we're making bacon! We saved some for you.
Put that out, put that OUT!!!
Of course, we could always use the nancin' boy over there to put it out. Now there's a great idea. Damn, I can't believe how much I rule.

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Let's see, I've got five dollars. That should be enough for a decent lunch.
But damn, I sure would enjoy some sucky sucky.
Where's default kid #1 when you need her?

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Seeing Edward's bacon-burning fire, three Krollwraiths ride over to Weathertop to recover the Kroll. But the ranger Bryson is out looking for wood!
Now THAT'S a nice piece of wood!!!
Weapons drawn, the Krollwraiths corner Spencer and
the Fellowship. The Fellowship grits its teeth and gets ready to engage the enemy.*climatic music*

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Just as the Krollwraiths are about to pounce on the Fellowship, Bryson heroically jumps in to save the day.
*yells in anger and attacks*
*Krollwraith noises*
...but the Krollwraiths easily overpower Bryson.
*Krollwraith noises*
*Krollwraith noises*
Remembering the ring, Spencer dons it, caring not of the consequences.

 

by BDD
2-24-03
But Spencer discovers with fright that the Krollwraiths are not only in this world, but are even more terrifying than normal.
Where am I?
*Krollwraith noises*
He then finds, to his horror, that the Krollwraiths can inflict physical injuries in this realm.
Gah!!!
*stabs Spencer and reaches for the Kroll*
Feeling his strength diminishing, Spencer takes off the ring as he fades into unconciousness.

 

by BDD
2-24-03
Back at Weathertop, Spencer's pain remains.
*winces and moans in pain*
We will have to make haste in getting him to Ramsdell. Only the Algebra Elves know how to cure such a wound.
We're just lucky I was able to smite all the Krollwraiths.
But they are not easily defeated - they will be back.
Ass. At least I wasn't the one off checking out Spankling when danger came around.
I'll have you know Spankling is rather sexy -- err, we are wasting time, we must set off for Ramsdell!

 

by BDD
2-25-03
While I'm not one to treat such wonderful women like Calli as property, what the hell. Let's rumble. (Sorry, that has NO sexual meaning to it, nancyboy.)
Ooh...how does she resist him?
You do realize, of course, that I will be no more likely to "hook up" with either of you because of this duel, don't you?
Most likely.
But it'll be fun to smash his face in for trying to make me a queer like him! Maybe Andre & Vice would like you, Mr. Uber-Gay. You can ask them when they come to visit you in the hospital!
ah! i am dieing

 

by BDD
2-25-03
Hey Jenny, didn't you say your boyfriend left you?
Yes, little Ashley, he did.
So why have you been so happy tonight?
Oh...just a little prank I pulled on him...
"I replaced his precious beer bottle with a bottle of shampoo, and he's too drunk to know the difference."
OMG I just LOVE that kind of shampoo! But why does he look like he's about to drink it, and where are his pants?!

 

by BDD
2-25-03
This is hardly a serious entry. Just a harmless tie-in. Mise well.
WHAT?! Jenny, what's this I hear about you poisoning our daughter's mind? You were our best babysitter, dammit!
What do you mean "was?"
I don't want you babysitting my daughter anymore! In fact, my husband's down at the courthouse now getting a court order to keep you off our property! Young lady, you are BANNED.
Fat BITCH! Damn, it's not like I influenced the kid or something.
Uh...of course you didn't, Jenny...
Hi Mister! Guess what? I'm like my COOL babysitter Jenny and pulled a little trick. That's not beer in your glass! Tee hee!
Yes, little girl, that's very nice, but I have to drink this beer now.

 

by BDD
2-25-03
Let's go, mothe -- err, fatherfucker!
Damn! The bastard chicken boy ran off. I'll pound his face in when he gets back.
"I bet he's at home right now, safe and sound. Probably messing around with his 'special friend' too."
(this is the random killer squirrel!)
Don't kill me!!!

 

by BDD
2-25-03
Look at me, I'm Ronald "Piss Head" MacDonald. I am the GAYEST FIGHTER EVER in the WeBL Henrico Region! Cool, huh?
And I am Bryson, the proud owner of this beautiful fighter. Now come here and let me "reward" you for all your hard work, big boy.
This BOMB should take care of those fagtstic fiends... MOTHAFUCKAAAS!!!
"WHY WON'T THEY DIE?!"

 

by BDD
2-25-03
BDD and maddog00's Uber-Gay talk after the duel.
Come on, let's have some fun. You could pretend I'm Calli...
Damn you and your logic! You're right, I guess I have no choice.
YES!!!!!1
Be right back...
BDD? BDD?!

 

by BDD
2-25-03
Oh heroic Ringbearer, this is a terrible wound. I will have to...ah...do some "work" on this.
*groans*
DAMN that's deep! How does Spencer get all the luck?
Just when I thought it couldn't get ANY worse...
And soon, the Fellowship was off to Ramsdell with more haste than ever, hoping they could cure their hero before he became one of THEM.

 

by BDD
2-25-03
Closer to Ramsdell, the Fellowship stops to spend the night in a forest.
What's this? A ranger caught off guard?
!
I am Bryson's wife, the beautful elf Ali. What seems to be wrong with Spencer here?
*groans*
This is urgent. He will need my father's care. My father is the leader of the Algebra Elves, and is very wise. *grabs Spencer and rides off on horse*

 

by BDD
2-26-03
*slurping noises*
Ownership? Sorry, big boy, there's been some kind of misunderstanding. I made it clear that I wasn't fighting for "ownership" back before the duel. Corey, however, did not. We can only assume he was.
*slurping noises*
No problem. He's right that way. No, no, it's okay, I wasn't doing anything anyway, no harm done.
I'd say something here about the easiness of persuading weak-minded minions, but that was the truth.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
*slurping noises*
Tricked you? Of course not, big fella. If anyone, Kieki did.
*slurping noises*
Well, she said Corey was a gay masochist. I can't argue with the first part, but who ever said anything about masochism either? You better go over there and talk to her again.
I feel somehow guilty. Explaining logic and reason to a demon really should be harder.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
So you're really intent on killing me. Why?
*slurping noises*
I'll tell you what. Since you don't have a good reason, you walk away and I'll make it up to you. I'll be right back.
*slurping noises*
Let's see... Domingo "Smackin Hoes" Roberts...here it is.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
(They're on the phone.)
Smackin Hoes, bro, it's me, BDD.
BDD, my man! How are ya?
Well, Domingo, there's a demon from hell out to kill me, hired by the woman I love, so I've been better.
Ouch. Need something?
Yeah, but not for me. Do you think you could let some of your bitches please the Cthulhu, for your ol' bro?
I believe I have just the ho for such a job, brotha. I'll send her over.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
There will be a bitch for you here momentarilly, Cthulhu, courtesy of my buddy Smackin Hoes. I'll let you two use the guest room here. Oh look, your bitch is here!
*slurping noises*
In BDD's house
*slurping noises*
I'm here from Smackin Hoes. Please tell me my client is that stud over there and not this...thing.
*slurping noises*

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Lou sees a woman slip and fall on the street, and he can't help but laugh.
Oww!
Ha ha!
She begins to walk away but does not notice her mistake.
You're one to talk, you loser. Bite me.
LOU!!!

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Cthulhu gets busy with one of Domingo's bitches.
Augh...those tentacles are TORTURE!
Heh...no pun intended, folks.
...and there's still ten more minutes of this. I don't know how much longer I can take it!
10 minutes later...
Finally it's over. I'm OUT OF HERE!
*slurping noises which roughly translate to "I thought you loved me!"*

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Look, pal, I don't know where you got that demon-thing, but that was quite possibly the worst experience of my life.
Don't blame me. Blame Calli, Kieki, Domingo, the demon, or yourself, but I don't see how it could be MY fault.
Whatever. I've had enough of this. I did my job and now I'm outta here.
I don't think so.
What?
*shows her some money* I'm still single and not getting any. I wouldn't mind some of that myself.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
The ho seems to be enjoying this seesion MUCH more.
DAMN this is nice!
Oh yeah...I could do this all day and all night. Maybe this job for Domingo ain't so bad after all.
But WOW...I wish I could be this guy's personal bitch!

 

by BDD
2-26-03
That was great, it really was. But Domingo's going to be mad if I don't get some money from this.
Haven't you heard? I get the close personal friend of Domingo discount. I don't have to pay!
Uh...well what am I going to do now?
You know, you really should've paid back Smackin Hoes his dollar back.
Too late to repent now, biotch.
I know. There is no mistake in my life I regret more.
*nods solemnly*

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Oh, Calli dearest, why must you torment me so? A thousand deaths from Cthulhu could not compare to this torture.
You have my heart, fair maiden, but you want me dead! *sigh* Oh, woe is me. Will you ever return the love I have for you?
...damn. That sounded like it was straight out of Shakespeare. Better take a break for lunch.

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Hey there Calli!
May I ask what you are doing here?
I figured since your brother and Corey are having their "male bonding" and Kieki is probably being bound more literally, we could finally spend some time alone together, eh?
...is this a joke?
No no, Calli, this is no wild fantasy, it's as true as you or me. Though it's_quite understandable that you would dream of us alone together. Now what do you say we make those dreams a reality?!

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Alien, I have hit rock bottom.
My love hates me. There is no reason to live.
I think I'm going to end it all.
!

 

by BDD
2-26-03
Well if it isn't teh mad rappist! Ya know, back in my day, we never raped our elders.
is taht so!!
Yep, back in the day, there was no rapping.
tahts it bithc ITS TIME FOR UNCUNSENSHIAL SEX YUO FUCKIN BICTH OF A HOAR!!!
*sigh* If only I could do it so brilliantly.
SUCK ME OF LAMER!!!

 

by BDD
2-27-03
OMG WTF!?!??!?! MIKE DID NOTHING, BDD DID EVERYTHING!!!!!!!1
FUCK...YOU...ALL!!!!! GOOD BYE CRUEL WORLD...I HOPE YOU ALL FUCKING DIE!!!!!!

 

by BDD
2-27-03
Telegram for Miss Calli.
That's me.
Well I hope you're happy. I'm finally dead by the time you hear this. I told you you could shut me off whenever you wanted - I could've been your Dante, Calli!
BUT NOBODY CARES
Hope things work out with you and Mike - on second thought, no. Fuck you, fuck him, and fuck Del-Me too just for the hell of it. FUCK YOU ALL!!! -BDD

 

by BDD
2-27-03
Singing telegram for Miss Calli.
Let me guess? From BDD?
Yep. Wait right here - it says I need a costume for this one.
?
*sings* Remember when I said I loved you...yeah, well I take it back! I was just a stupid kid back then...I take back every word that I said!!!
*sigh*

 

by BDD
2-27-03
Chinese noodles, five dolla.
Get lost, bitch!
Our ancient traditions are failing here in this foreign land. We must adapt to this strange new culture we are in.
Yes.
Sucky sucky, five dolla.
Fuck yeah!

 

by BDD
2-27-03
Well Calli, I see the fake suicide didn't convince you. I destroyed my clone, BTW. So now will you ple --
Look, BDD, I thought we got this straight. I will NOT be your girl.
No, I was going to say will you please step aside - I'm here to see Kieki!
!!!
Kieki, babe! Sup? Well, with Mike's help I realized you're the one I want. And why pretend it's not mutual? I know there's a reason you went to kill Corey, only a minor annoyance, rather than me.
???

 

by BDD
2-27-03
Hey Corey!
Oh...uh...hi, BDD...
Guess what? I've come out of the closet! What do you say you and me get together?
WOW, REALLY?!
Nope, but now I've proven once and all you're gay!
D'oh!

 

by BDD
2-27-03
You know, Kieki, you're absolutely right. Calli is so abusive to you!
You know what you need to cheer you up?
The doctor prescribes a good dose of BDD!

 

by BDD
2-28-03
There's something wrong with this picture isn't there?
Yes.

 

by BDD
3-01-03
This comic truly makes no sense.
This comic makes no sense.
What the hell am I?
More meaningless nothng.
Yeah, the fact that no one from a previous or future panel is in this comic doing anything is kinda stupid.
Why not? This comic is supposed to make no sens you gay hammer person.
And of course:
Also, considering the fact that fire cannot talk, makes this comic even more stupid/meaningless.
Come on, and you wonder why shows like Seinfeld stayed around, this comic by the same standard should be a smash hit!

 

by BDD
3-01-03
BDD saunters down town, feeling very depressed.
*sigh* Is there no girl out there for me?
Oh, hey there Smackin Hoes.
Why the long face, brotha? Need some bitches?
Fuck yeah!
Word. To the Hoetell!!!

 

by BDD
3-01-03
Wait here. Only the best bitches for my man BDD.
Thanks, Domingo.
That Smackin Hoes is a good man.
Ooh, hi there!
w00t!

 

by BDD
3-01-03
After a long and boring chase with the Krollwraiths, Ali brings Spencer to Ramsdell just in time.
My father will treat you now.
Father, that boy needs your help. He carries the Kroll and is dying from a Krollwraith wound!
I'll have some of my Algebra Elves bring him over immediately, fair daughter!
Ali goes off to sing (because she just likes to do that) while Algebra Elves come to heal Spencer.
Boss, he's almost dead!

 

by BDD
3-01-03
The Algebra Elves bring Spencer to Ali's dad Hyperbole, Lord of the Algebra Elves.
*groans in pain*
By the gods, I've never seen such an injury!!! Fortunately we elves can still heal you. I believe I have something over there...
Hmm...evil Krollwraith spirits in Spencer, I speak to you now... SUCK ME OF, LAMERS!!! (ha ha, that'll teach 'em!)
Wha?!
Aha! There's nothing that spell can't defeat!
Hyperbole! You've saved my life!!!!!!1

 

by BDD
3-03-03
Priest Trek: The Next Generation
Captain Priest, the aliens are only seven parsecs away!
Thank you for this valuable information. I will make sure to give you a "special" reward tonight.
Yay!
Run along now, child.
Britney Spears, please give a status report.
The aliens are getting closer, and are faster than we expected.

Showing page 7.

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