All comics by BigFrank105

 

by BigFrank105
3-25-05
Hmmm... I wonder if that hot babe would want to have sex with me!
Hey lady! Would you like to have sex with me?
Hush down, Mike! Let me finish up at the bank and we'll go home!
Yes mom!

 

by BigFrank105
3-25-05
Freeze, bitch! This is a stick up!
I don't have any money on me, dude...
What? What about diamonds? Credit cards? Bitch, you gotta give me something!
So anyway, thats the story of how I solicited sex to a kangaroo.
Who are you?

 

by BigFrank105
3-27-05
o/ WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE! WE GOT FUN AND GAMES! o/
What kind of fun and games?
Scrabble... Monopoly... Jenga...

 

by BigFrank105
4-05-05
Oh shit! I forgot to go to church on Easter Sunday!
So?
Jesus must hate me now!
Don't worry! He won't hate you just because you missed church!
Meanwhile...
God I hate that bitch.

 

by BigFrank105
4-05-05
I had Burger King for breakfast, so I guess you could say I "woke up with the King."
Yeah, I woke up with the King too.
You ate at Burger King too?
No, I just woke up with the King in my bed after a hard night of drinking.

 

by BigFrank105
4-06-05
I am Jesus. I am an omnipotent, earthly form of my Father and I also possess spirtual powers.
That's cool. I once fingered a hot blonde on a cruise.
Lucky son of a bitch.

 

by BigFrank105
4-06-05
Sup crabby? Too bad about University of Illinois, huh?
Yeah, it really blows. I kinda figured the Heels would beat them though.
Why's that?
We start more crackas than they do, plus we have a black guy who looks white! We were screwed from the beginning!

 

by BigFrank105
4-08-05
What are you playing?
"Backyard Football"
BACKYARD FOOTBALL? THAT'S A STUPID BABY GAME! THAT'S SO GAY! WHAT A LOSER!!!
Can I play?
No, I just don't like you.

 

by BigFrank105
4-11-05
Greetings Earth female. I am Glugon, the supreme leader of the Goldeagites.
Oh, you can remove the anal probe now.
Gee, thanks.

 

by BigFrank105
4-11-05
Hey dude, you wanna try some Spinach Pie?
I dunno, it looks pretty gross.
Aw come on, one bite won't kill you!
Later...
Okay, so maybe I lied to him.

 

by BigFrank105
4-13-05
Hey chicken! Why did you cross the road?
I've never crossed any roads. I was born and raised in this building and have lived here my entire life without going outside.
Smartass.

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Dude, man! I totally pimped out my 1987 Honda Civic!
Really? With what?
Body kit, neon, wing spoiler, and a Nos decal in the window!
What about engine modifications?
Huh?

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
But for real dawg, my Civic be totally bitchin!
How? You haven't even done anything to the engine!
Man, engine mods don't make a car fast, it's how you race it!
I'm sorry, there was something stupid in my ear. What did you just say?

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Man, I don't know what you be talkin bout! My car can destroy yours!
Uh, I drive a '98 Camaro Z28, and you have your ricer Civic.
So? My car has Sparco seats! What does yours have?
Uh, just the regular bucket seats.
Oh! Bitch, you goin down now!
Don't you have some street racing videos to jack off to?

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Sup baby, you wanna model for my awesome pimped out Civic?
You mean that trash heap over there with the plastic spinners?
Man, don't be a busta! I bought dem spinners straight up from Auto Zone!
Why don't you get a real car?
Can't. I spent all my money on a subwoofer.
You mean that boombox taped to your dashboard?

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Excuse me, miss. Are you aware that the word "sale" means "dirty" in French?
Yeah, but who cares?
Who cares!? If a Frenchman were to walk into your store, he'd think that your clothes are dirty and crappy!
Everyone already thinks that.
Why?
We are a JC Penny store, ya know.

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
I have a huge cock.
Bullshit. Let me see.
Wow...

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Greetings, Mr. Frank. I am Detective Douche and I'm going to investigate the burglary of your house.
Oh, don't worry about it. It's been taken care of.
SILENCE! LET ME DO MY WORK! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to question suspicious people.
Suspicious people?
Oops. Did I say suspicious people? I mean to say black people.
How nice of you.

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
You! Rabid_Weasle! Tell me what you know about the robbery of Bigfrank's house!
I don't know anything, except I did NOT rape his dog!
Alright, that's all I needed to know.
Good, because I'll have you know that I did NOT rape his dog! Nope, not at all! Raping dogs is SO not my thing!
Why? Did you rape his dog or something?
Well, I'm pretty sure he wanted it.

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Boinky! I'm investigating a robbery! Tell me what you know!
What kind of robbery?
A robbery of a certain "Big Frank".
OH MY GOD!
What?
THEY STOLE BOORITE'S PENIS?

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
Dcomposed, did you rob Bigfrank's house?
No. I did set fire to a busload of children.
Isn't that murder?
Nah, most of the little bastards deserved it.

 

by BigFrank105
4-16-05
CHUBBY, do you know who robbed Bigfrank 2 weeks ago?
Yes I do!
Really? Who?
George W. Bush! He's robbing all of America of its values and its hard earned money! He's evil!
Don't you have anything better to say?
Crabby fucks his daughter.

 

by BigFrank105
4-17-05
Hey Ivy, would you happen to know who robbed the residence of Bigfrank?
Yeah, all my coworkers at Wal-Mart plotted against him and stole his stuff. Go kill 'em all.
20 minutes later...
DIE YOU SONS A BITCHES! I'LL HAVE YOUR NUTS FOR ROBBING FRANK'S HOUSE!
AIEEEE!!!
20 more minutes later...
Hey! I didn't find any evidence on your coworkers! You lied to me!
I know. I just wanted to see them die.

 

by BigFrank105
4-17-05
Zaster! Did you rob Bigfrank's house?
Uh... Probably.
Wuh? Why "probably"?
I got drunk as hell recently on 3 bottles of Jim Beam. God only knows what I did in the past few days.
On that same note, you have muffler sticking out of your ass.
Actually, I put that there before I got drunk.

 

by BigFrank105
4-17-05
(Goddam this is getting old) Hey fuck, did you rob Frank's house 2 weeks ago?
no i didnt but i did robb somthin tho!
You did!? What did you steal!
YOR MOMS VIRGINITY, YUO HOAR! NOW BEND THA FCUK OVER, BTICH!!!

 

by BigFrank105
4-17-05
Hey crabby, I'm investigating a robbery. You heard anything?
Nope. Sorry, detective.
So, are those rumors about you and your daughter...
GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!

 

by BigFrank105
4-18-05
Salutations, fuzzy! You wouldn't happen to know information concerning a robbery, would you?
Actually, no. I've been busy all week planning my sex change.
You're getting a sex change?
Yup! The change is that I'm going to actually start having sex!

 

by BigFrank105
4-18-05
Inflatable_Man, I'm investigating a robbery. Can you tell me anything?
Hey, you look nothing like your picture!
DIE! DIE! DIE! Hahahahahaha...

 

by BigFrank105
4-18-05
Shank! I have reason to believe that you robbed Frank's house!
What the hell? Why?
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS! You're under arrest, buddy!
Admit it, Detective! The only reason you're arresting me is because I think I'm black!

 

by BigFrank105
4-19-05
Excuse me, Externalization. I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but have you heard anything about a robbery?
Robbery? Shit!!! Um... I mean... uh... No sir, no info here.
Thank you, sir. Sorry about bothering you.
Uh, Detective? Don't you think that guy looked like the criminal type?
No. He didn't look Arabian to me.

 

by BigFrank105
4-20-05
Hey, choad! I'm just investigating a robbery. Can I ask what you have been doing all day?
Aw man, I've just been celebrating the holiday, if ya know what I mean!
Oh... You're "celebrating" National Pot Day, huh?
No, I'm celebrating Hitler's Birthday.
Wanna help me kill some Jews?

 

by BigFrank105
4-21-05
Chicka, Bigfrank was robbed 2 weeks ago. You know anything?
Why the fuck would I care about some stupid ass getting robbed? His stuff sucks anyway.
Well, it's... Wait a minute! How do you know about the kind of stuff he has?
I don't, I just figure it's the same stuff that's available on a street corner.
Kind of like you on a Friday night?
No, kind of like your Dad when he's drunk.

 

by BigFrank105
4-21-05
I can't belief it, Officer Durp. After racially profiling 14 strippers, I can't seem to find who robbed Bigfrank's house!
Here, this note was dropped off at our station a coupla hours ago. It says "I robbed Bigfrank's house, dipshit, come and find me. Sincerely, possums"
"P.S. You can find me at the Haunted Mansion."
Wow... I wonder who it's from?
A pissed off marsupial, I would imagine. We may need Steve Irwin for this one.

 

by BigFrank105
4-27-05
Haha! I've stolen all of Bigfrank's stuff and the dumbass police force can't do anything about it!
Not so fast, possums!
Huh, what? Niteowl! How did you find me?
I just simply followed the trail of Bigfrank's merchandise to your hiding spot!
Dammit, how many dildos did I drop?
Not many. Ol' Frank likes em big, it seems.

 

by BigFrank105
4-27-05
Meanwhile...
Spankling! I need your help!
It'll cost ya. My medical bills were way too high last time.
Er, not with that. I'm tracking down a thief and I need some backup!
Sure thing, detective! I always got your back!
Yeah, you tend to do that a lot.
Just let me change into my "bad cop" uniform.

 

by BigFrank105
5-02-05
Alright Spankling, if we're going to catch possums, we're going to have to draw up an elaborate plan. It could take weeks or MONTHS to do this!
I'm ready for anything, Detective!
Oh, hey Detective. Just to let you know I caught possums, threw him in a jail cell and gave Bigfrank all his stuff back. It was no sweat.
Uh, so... Case closed!
Aw... are we still "on" for tonight?

 

by BigFrank105
5-02-05
So, Bigfrank. That's how we caught the thief and returned all of your stuff in perfect condition! I guess you owe it all to us, huh?
Not really. According to the department you did jack shit. In fact, 16 people are suing you for racial profiling. You're a shit cop.
I should have done this 19 comics ago.

 

by BigFrank105
5-03-05
There! I've stolen all of your cupcakes! What are you gonna do now, bitch?

 

by BigFrank105
5-03-05
Hey boys and girls! I have presents for all of you!
Uh, Mr. Elf, we've received reports that you've been handing out cocaine to children.
Cocaine? Sorry, I'm just a hand job elf.
Damn, you're not my guy. Can you still hook me up?

 

by BigFrank105
5-05-05
Dude, you're such a fucktard! Have you even been with a woman before?
Yes I have! And in fact, I'm with two women right now!
Really... What are their names?
Righty and Lefty!
Drawing faces on your hands doesn't make them your sex partners!
Not if you use permanent markers!

 

by BigFrank105
5-06-05
Hey! There's a big blue bird in the sky!
Holy shit, I'm drunk as hell.

 

by BigFrank105
5-06-05
Hey! You're a chicken! What's in that sack?
My balls.
No, I meant that sack you're carrying at the end of that stick.
I know. My balls are in this sack.
It's a medical condition, you heartless bastard.

 

Heheheh... Now he's gonna know how it feels to be an Altar Boy!
by BigFrank105, 5-08-05

 

Barkeep! Draw me a glass of your finest beer!
Comin' right up!
by BigFrank105, 5-08-05

 

by BigFrank105
5-08-05
Hmmm...
This is starting to look less and less like the Men's Section of JC Penny by the minute!

 

by BigFrank105
5-08-05
Life's a burrito.
Is it? Perhaps it is not. Figuratively, who can truly say what a burrito is?
HA HA! You roffle my waffles!
If you speak again I'll fuckin' kill you.
Yeah, didn't think so.

 

by BigFrank105
5-09-05
Well Cindy, what do you think of our vacation spot?
It's horrible! People are dying in the streets, there's famine, poverty, and I'm dodging gunfire left and right!
But... I thought this is where you wanted to visit!
Dumbass! I wanted to go to Auckland, New Zealand! Not Oakland, California!
But there's such colorful people here!

 

by BigFrank105
5-10-05
Something Old...
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
Something New...
Holy shit, so that's what you were talking about?
Something Borrowed, and Yellow too.
i wil rapp u!11!!
BAD GRAMMAR OVERLOAD!!!

 
by BigFrank105, 5-10-05

 

by BigFrank105
5-13-05
Who are you?
I'm an Elf! We had a backlog this year at the North Pole and forgot to send out some presents! This is for you, from Santa!
What is it?
Dog shit.

Showing page 7.

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