All comics by BigFrank105

 

by BigFrank105
1-20-03
Whew, what a tiring day torturing the damned, I'll relax with a good online game!
*Blam!* You have been fragged by cHri5t40!
What? Curses!
*Blam!* You have fragged s4t4n666!
Hahaha, the battle for heavenly peace is being won over the internet you Old Scratch!

 

by BigFrank105
1-20-03
The Confederacy will prevail! We are the stronger army!
Nuh-uh! The Union will win! WE are the stronger army!
Never! You will never have the South!
Fine, you can have the South, but that means you have Mexico too!
No! Fine! We give! Just keep us away from those Mexicans!
Hehehe, It's like shootin fish in a bucket!

 

by BigFrank105
1-20-03
*Glub Glub* Hey buddy, a little help here?
Whoa dude! What are you wearing on your feet!?
Cement shoes! Help me! I'm almost out of breath!
Man, how does a guy get a pair of shoes like that?
Become a Mafia squealer like me, and they'll give you a free pair!
Free shoes? Dang, who would have known the Mob could be so nice?

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
Grrrr....
What is the matter your evilness?
Jesus Christ keeps on beating me at online games! It's getting annoying!
Honestly, sir, He can't be that good!
*Blam* You have been converted into a Hindu by cHr15t40!
Damn, this guy IS good!

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
Well, I battled Christ on Phantasy Star.
And....?
He blasted me 12 times before I hit the ground then turned me into a Hindu.
Damn! That sucks!
What? That I was savagely beaten by our enemy?
No! That Christ turned you into a Hindu! Shouldn't you be eating curry?

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
I've hacked my way into the system's mainframe and made some alterations, so now I'll HAVE to beat Jesus!
*Blam!* You have fragged cHr15t40!
YES! YES! I AM VICTORIOUS!
*Beep!* cHr15t40 has risen from the dead!
No! Curses! I thought it took him three days to do that!

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
Well, I beat Satan..... again! And he wanted to play another game!
Man, he just doesn't give up, does he?
No, maybe those sulfur fumes put him in a buzz.
Or maybe...
Are you sure this coffee will keep me awake for the next 12000 years?
Positive.

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
I AM ROBOROUGE! I COME FROM URANUS TO DELIVER YOU A MESSAGE!
Hehehe, you come from my anus?
NO! I HAIL FROM URANUS! I ASK THAT YOU PLEASE COOPERATE?
Haha, yeah, thats what I said. So what's it like in my anus? Does it smell?
...and then he was asking me all this stuff about his anus. If you ask me that planet's weird, I think we should destroy it.
Hehehe... Uranus.

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
GREETINGS! I AM ROBOROUGE! I HAIL FROM A PLANET WHO'S NAME I PREFER NOT TO MENTION!
Okay... what do you want dude? I gotta go see my girlfriend Mo!
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER SO THAT I MAY DESTROY HIM!
My leader? Oooooh... His name is Osama. You'll find him in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan. Kill his little friends too!
Oof! By the stars of Allah, what did I do to deserve this?
THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO STEAL MY STATE QUARTER COLLECTION YOU THEIVING BASTARD!

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
Why gosh-a-roo! It's my good pal RoboRouge!
PUT YOURSELF OUT YOU FOOL! I HAVE CHRONIC ASTHMA AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING!
Aw come on Robby! Who doesn't enjoy a good cigarette?
YOU'RE LUCKY THIS IS MY DAY OFF, OR ELSE I WOULD NOT TOLERATE YOU!
AGHHHHH!
NEXT TIME PUT YOUR DAMN SELF OUT BEFORE I PUT YOU AWAY!

 

by BigFrank105
1-21-03
Well, Mo, here we are... My bedroom... My parents aren't home.....
Yeah, uh, Robo. I've been meaning to tell you. I just don't think we're right for each other and all.
Oh... I see...
Don't take it personally. It's just that robots in general don't give me the same sex drive a human does. You should find someone who really loves you.
Wow! You'll make out with me AND give me head for just 10 bucks? Wow!
*Hack hack* Yup!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Dude, Jenna, you gotta check this out! I can get my internet porn faster now!
What?
I got a T-3 modem hooked up to this place. Now i can get my porn 1000 times faster than before!
You're gonna waste time and money just so you can beat off? You're sick! I'm leaving!
Man, no one appreciates art like I do.
Mmmmm.... 1000 times faster! Ohhhhh baby!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Um, Jade, I was wondering if you would like to go to prom together? I promise I'll make the night special for you.
Hell no!
Uh, why? I thought we were good enough friends to go!
As far as I know, you'll probably want to leave early, take me back to your place, have sex with me, go on a few more dates with me, and never call me again.
Man, those damned Cosmo magazines are teaching girls a little too much!
And if you don't like my lipstick today, the store only had Celadon Sea, and I'm a Crimson Sun!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Tim! I found a website that shows us foolproof ways to pick up the ladies!
Yes! Maybe this is how I'll get Jade to go with me to prom!
It says here that compliments on a girls features really gives you brownie points.
Compliments eh?
Hey Jade! I'm liking the way you shake your ass! And your rack! Holy cow!
Get ready to die.

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
The U.S. is terrible! First they bomb my cave, then they bomb my home city, then they bomb my friend Saddam!
At times like these, I know that I'd be nothing with my one and only true love!
So Charlene, want to go to the movies tonight?
Baaaaaaa!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Laboratory science is great. There are an endless amount of things that can be created in a laboratory. Watch this experiment.
Note: Read the sentences in numerical order.
(1) Hey little squirrel, do you want a beer? (3) All the cool squirrels drink.
(2) I don't drink (4) Okay.
There's more to laboratory science than screwing with animals, but quite frankly, it's the part I like most.

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Hey Pierce, why did the Chicken cross the road?
Because there was a porno shop across the street.
No no, it's a riddle. You're supposed to say "to get to the other side".
Exactly, there was a porno shop on the other side.
I'm never letting you go to Kentucky Fried Chicken and XXX Mags in the same trip.
But chicken and porn are a great combo! Plus, they're across the street from each other!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Dude, I'm going to ask Jade to prom one more time.
Alright dude, good luck.
Hey Jade, wanna go to prom?
No.
Let me remind you that girls don't call me "Sweet Meat" just for laughs.
Did I say no? I meant HELL YES!

 

by BigFrank105
1-22-03
Dude, I asked Jade to the prom and she said yes to me and NOT YOU!
Who cares? I've already tried tappin her, and she doesn't go as far as you think.
Yeah but with my suave personality I'm sure to go all the way with her.
Dude, she sucks in bed, really.
She can't be that bad!
No, I mean she just gives head. That's as far as anyone will get with her.

 

by BigFrank105
1-25-03
Foolish mortal! You have been sent to hell for you have sinned! Now prepare to suffer my wrath!
It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?
What? NO! Now listen before you suffer an even WORSE fate!
It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?
Man, no wonder you're in hell. You probably drove millions of people to a suicidal state!
Are you sure you want to exit without saving "suicidal state"?

 

by BigFrank105
1-25-03
Man, I'll never finish this letter to the President!
It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?
Oh thank God it's you! Yes! I need help writing this letter!
Choose one of the following topics: Puncuation, Grammar, Grammar Usage, French Grammar, Word Usage...
It's pretty ironic they refer to you as an "assistant".
Microsoft Word has suffered an error and must shut down. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

 

by BigFrank105
1-25-03
Satan journeys up to earth.
This neighborhood is too peaceful. I must do something, but what?
Hey! I know what I'll do!
Much better.
It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?

 

by BigFrank105
1-26-03
Holly and Tom duke it out.
You will regret fighting me Tom!
Hehehehe, I'm fighting you for just one good reason...
Whatever. HI-YA!!!
AGH!
When she high kicked you, did you see her panties?
Hell yeah! But that kick hurt like a BITCH!

 

by BigFrank105
1-27-03
Dude.
Dude, I am so high.
Dude, me too.
Dude.

 

by BigFrank105
2-02-03
Jarod is annoying Andy as usual.
...Yeah so anyway my father never hugged me because HIS father never hugged him! What a sick world! Hey, I'm a member of P.E.T.A.! It's so cool...!
My God he's been rambling for hours! How in the hell do I shut him up?
And then I realized the cereal went in BEFORE the milk and I...
WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!?
There's no stopping this freak!
Wow, you're really tempermental! Have you tried ritalin? It did wonders for my mailman! Hey do you read the New Yorker? I do...!
God he just doesn't stop.

 

by BigFrank105
2-03-03
Jarod the annoying a-hole is doing what he does best.
...Yeah and I realized that if you have a goldfish you have an enormous responsibilitty so that's why when my sister's goldfish died I told her It was her fault and...
WILL YOU SHUT UP?
...So I told the cop that my grandma's weed was medicinal but he went and arrested her anyway. Can you believe that? I mean, that's just not right...
IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!
...Then Pierce took his sign and hit me with it until my skull was completely shattered! The nerve! And I thought he was my best friend! Hey, do you guys get C-SPAN down here? Because I like C-SPAN...
Christ, this is worse than hell! Oh yeah...

 

by BigFrank105
2-03-03
Aaarrrr! Ye know what, Mr. Pimp? You and I, we got somethin' in common
C'mon! What could a pimp and a pirate have in common?
Aaarrrr! We both enjoy booty! Haaarrrr-haarrr-haarrr!
You're a dead man, Long John.
Aaarrrr! Fittin' me with a pair of cement shoes and sending me to Davy Jones' Locker seems more Mafia than pimp, but who am I to judge?
I'm down here for making a "ho" joke.

 

by BigFrank105
2-05-03
MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE GRIM REAPER! I HAVE HARNESSED THE POWER OF DEATH AND WILL USE IT AS I PLEASE!
I wonder what's on TV.

 

by BigFrank105
2-05-03
This comic goes out to file13, my one inspiration for writin comics.
!!!
Dear Lord! That human is horrible! I actually feel sorry for all of those people up on Earth!
And now back to our live Cher concert!
AGHHHH! NO MAKE IT STOP!

 

by BigFrank105
2-08-03
Who the hell are you?
I'm a strange thing from another world here to grant you a wish.
Really? Sweet! I wish I could get head!
Your wish is my command.
This is so horribly wrong.
I want a sandwich! Oh wait, I don't have a stomach! Hahahahaha! Can you at least get me a haircut?

 

by BigFrank105
2-10-03
Your time is up... You will come with me...
Uh, dude, the Bears are playing.
Really? Who are they playing?
The Packers, they're playing them in Green Bay.
This is from a true Green Bay fan!
Wow, watching a team like the Bears play must be far worse than death. I'll come back in another 30 years.
Sure you don't wanna stay for a beer first?

 

by BigFrank105
2-10-03
President's Day at Tim's house.
Man! No school, no homework, just us and a coupla shots of Bacardi!
Oh yeah, this is the best presidents day ever.
Ya know, instead of just getting hammered, I think we should do something to get into the spirit.
Like what?
President's Day at Rich's house
Why in the hell are those two kids chopping my cherry trees down?

 

by BigFrank105
2-11-03
Clippit and Tim go to a diner in Neon City.
I'm going in to order. What do you want?
Fried chicken dinner. Gravy on the 'taters.
Shit, dude. We're 25 cents short! You got any change?
I don't have any freakin pockets! Wait a minute, I know...
Later
I admit it was a good idea, but don't you think my dad would notice that we went in his state quarter collection?
Just tell him Rhode Island really wasn't a state anyways.

 

by BigFrank105
2-12-03
Hehehe, I hope you're reading this gin...
Wow! What a wonderful day I had! I think I'll tell the world about it!
*Ding!* BigFrank105 writes: Your comics suck. You have no life, so how could you write about it?
Ooooh, that jerk! I think I'll write a comic about him! That'll show him!
*Ding!* gin writes: You meanie! My life is better than yours! I think I'll go make a comic about the time I saw a cute sign at the mall! Now who's the better comic writer?
Me, you dumb bitch.

 

by BigFrank105
2-12-03
Well Darryl, I'd first like to thank you for building our church.
Don't mention it.
Although we open tommorow, I'm finding a problem with the job you have done.
Ah shit, what is it now?
Your "stained glass windows" are just spraypainted fiberglas splattered with root beer!
Hey! Did you specify what kind of stains? Ha ha! Now stop talkin!

 

by BigFrank105
2-14-03
That's it! I've had enough! I want the USA out of our country!
Dude, we turned your nation into a prosperous, rich country! You owe it all to us!
No! We could have done the same without you stupid Americans! Now get out! I will run this country and make my people happy!
Fine, whatever dude.
5 minutes later
Ahhh... Now this is how a country should be run! How I love being a dictator! Look at how happy my people are!
Feed... Me......

 

by BigFrank105
2-18-03
Hi! I'm some annoying girl from Trading Spaces! If you're just joining us, we recently remodeled Greg's bedroom! Let's see how he likes it!
OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?
Huh? We remodeled your bedroom! How do you like it?
THIS USED TO BE MY BATHROOM YOU MORON!
Whoops! Well, you used to pee in your bed anyway, so it's like having a toilet!

 

by BigFrank105
2-24-03
BigFrank105's most popular characters return to SC for a 4 day reunion party!
WHERE ARE THE SCHNAPPES AND BACARDI? HI-C AND SPRITE ARE NOT SCHNAPPES AND BACARDI!
I'd be more worried about that puddle of puke you're standing in.
So how's torturing the damned been since you took over your father's reign in Hell?
Ugh, it won't stop. I just can't wait till the day all Hell freezes over so I can finally take a Vacation to the 5th Layer.
I am rigged with dynamite around my chest! I will blow this place sky high unless my demands aren't met!
Hey, who the hell told you that you could smuggle all the hot dogs? Didn't your Allah teach you to share?

 

by BigFrank105
2-27-03
God?
YES?
Well, I went to a party this weekend, got hammered, and ended up nailing my best friend's girlfriend? What can you advise me to do?
Change your identity. If you knocked her up you're screwed, dude.
Um, I thought you were going to forgive my sins...
I'm busy. I'm watching a chick in a changing room. You should really try consider talking to Buddah in that cloud over there.

 

by BigFrank105
3-01-03
Sweeny General Hospital, Neon City. Clippit hears some horrible news
Well Clippit, I'm sorry to say that your friend Staplit has passed away
NOOOOO!!!! *Sob!*
Sorry son, but you shouldn't have dared him to take that wizz on the electric fence!
NOOOO! AND HIS WALLET GOT BURNT, JUST LIKE HE DID! I'M OUT $20! *Sob!*
10 minutes later, at Carson Funeral Home
We do have several packages that are very affordable, sir.
Nah, don't mind the fancy funeral. Just wrap him in newspapers, I'm sure he'd be happy.

 

by BigFrank105
3-11-03
What's up?
Man, this internet search engine is a freakin joke! No matter what I search, it gives me a bunch of porn sites!
Maybe you're typing it in wrong.
I'm not! When I look up pictures of the Nile River, I get porn sites. When I look up white house pictures, I get porn sites!
Actually, some of those COULD be White House photos.
Okay, bad example.

 

by BigFrank105
3-11-03
Spring cleaning time! Tim and his sister get to cleaning their basement.
Okay, I'll dust and you move the loads of garbage upstairs.
What the hell? Why do I gotta do all the work?
Because all the girls at school say you have huge muscles. If that's true then you should have no problem carrying the loads.
Really? They do? Awesome! Okay, let the man do all the work!
Okay, take this second load of garbage upstairs.
Wait, what was the first?

 

by BigFrank105
3-13-03
So...
Yup
...
Wow.
What?
I noticed that even with robots, this strip still isn't funny.

 

by BigFrank105
3-13-03
You are watching CBS! The channel the brought you Survivor!
Not to mention Survivor 2! Or Survivor 3! Yup, we you're Survivor station! Yup! Yes siree!
Kind of ironic that the only reason we survive is because of Survivor...

 

by BigFrank105
3-13-03
Afghanistan: Secret Laboratory
Alright Mr. Blasto, your mission is twofold.
I'm all ears. (Wait, I don't have ears.)
You will seek out the most horrible nation on this planet and DESTROY IT!
Roger that, Osama!
2 minutes later.
Ah, shit.

 

by BigFrank105
3-13-03
Welcome to Joe Millionaire 2! Your "Millionaire" this time is Rico!
Well, Amanda Knapp, I choose you!
Well, that's too bad Rico, cause even if you were rich I still wouldn't date you because you are a pathetic loser.
But I am a millionaire! Really! Come live with me in the French countryside as my lover!
Yeah right. Get out of my life you stupid douche.
The French Countryside
(Sob) Oh Amanda! You won't even love me for my millions! (Sob)
Shall I freshen up your bourbon, Monseiur Rico?

 

by BigFrank105
4-26-03
...So you see, you're more likely to win the lottery than get attacked by a terrorist!
Wow! That stupid statistic made me feel safe! I love USA! Number 1!
Tim! Oh my God! We just won the powerball lottery! We're Millionaires!
Whaaa?
Wait, why do I feel so bad?
Excuse me, do you have a match so that I may light this load of dynamite?

 

by BigFrank105
5-18-03
Neon City - Secret Lab
Sir, preparations are complete. Soon this factory will be cranking out 3000 robots an hour! There's no way Jarod can sabotage our plans now!
Hahahahaha... Excellent. As long as Jarod doesn't interfere, we'll be fine!
Well speak of the devil!
Hello? Is this Nordstroms? Doesn't look like it. Hey, a red button. I like red buttons, I think I'll press it.
No!!! Don't!!!
Ah shit. I knew I should have made the self destruct button blue!
Hi. Do you work here? Where can I find men's slacks?

 

by BigFrank105
5-19-03
Wow! This is so cool There's another variation of me! Dig this cool hat, brotha!
Yeah, but I'm all frozen. I accidently touched one of those supposedly hot Domino's Pizzas.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Fuck this, let's go out and get laid.
Good idea, but my balls are half their normal size now.

 

by BigFrank105
7-20-03
Must kill... I must kill...
This is it... I will kill all! I will kill everyone... Me and my axe will kill...
...The competition at the Lumberjack's Festival!

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