All comics by FactoryRejects

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by FactoryRejects
2-28-12
Alright Cthulhu we are gonna rock the fuckin' White House!
I'm not entirely sure what that means.
Fuckin' chaos and madness and terror!
Oh, I see.
...are you going to start, or

 

by FactoryRejects
3-23-12
I am going to tear into you like a piece of devil's food cake.
DO NOT BELITTLE THE SPAWNING OF THE ANTICHRIST, MORTAL.
...This is going to be great. I'm getting the lube.
I just realized I don't feel comfortable about this at all

 

by FactoryRejects
3-23-12
...Gunther. I should've known you'd be here.
Nilnar! How's it going?
I'm actually auditioning for the Michael Bay Ninja Turtles movie. How do you think it's going?
Ha ha! Well, I'm taking the part, so you should just leave before I vaporize you.
That isn't how this works.
Yeah, yeah, and turtles aren't aliens. Get the hell out of here.

 

by FactoryRejects
3-26-12
We will fill Slayne's house with bunnies. Cute little fluffy bunnies, with cotton tails.
AHUAHAHAHAAA
...you're losing your edge, sir.

 

by FactoryRejects
3-26-12
...you're losing your edge, sir...you're losing your edge, sir...you're losing your edge, sir...you're losing your edge, sir...you're losing your edge, sir
Is it possible? Has this old space owl lost his edge? Why is he suddenly thinking in third person?
Andor, prepare my travel-bags. I must go on the Mu'klutt Tol. The spirit journey.
The what?
It is similar to the "walkabout" Mick threatens everyone with at the end of Crocodile Dundee.

 

by FactoryRejects
3-26-12
Sacred Fire, I have traveled the path of the Mu'klutt Tol. Reveal the true inner wisdom to me!
what

 

by FactoryRejects
3-26-12
Not everything is death rays and fluffy bunnies, Zrogagks. The secret to true happiness is within youuuu
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sir! Sir, wake up! Sir!
nooooooooo..what? What is it?
You were having a nightmare sir.
Yes. I was having a terrible dream that for some strange reason did not end with me, WAKING UP, TO THE SMELL OF EGGS, TOAST, AND COFFEE

 

by FactoryRejects
4-28-12
...So the government is taking over the internet.
Aw geez. I'd better go take care of some things.
I should set up a proxy. Hey, I have an email.
DEAR CITIZEN: WE HAVE NEVER, EVER GIVEN A SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE, OR WILL DO. THANKS FOR LEADING US TO THE BEST PORN. LOVE, GOVT

 

by FactoryRejects
5-02-12
skrreeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
in the black of night I will come for you
...I just experienced pure terror.
Was it a beast with countless heads?
No.
Well, that's not very funny.

 

by FactoryRejects
7-11-12
I am sorry, sir. The laws of robotics that prevent me from harming humans won't allow me to kill zombies.
Why?
Technically they're human. I can't harm them unless someone tells me to override the laws.
Well override the laws then!
FOOL!

 

by FactoryRejects
8-29-12
EXCUSE_ME

 

by FactoryRejects
11-05-12
Hey, are you gonna vote?
...I haven't put much thought into it.
Well, you should.
...........................
..........Is Obama still black?

 

by FactoryRejects
11-05-12
Are you ready to vote, dear?
We can go, but I just don't know who to vote for.
Well, you should be certain before you vote.
.....................
...........is Romney still white?

 

by FactoryRejects
11-15-12
How's it going?
Good, it's been good.
Did you see that commercial? The real funny one?
Yep.
The trees really are outside this time of year

 

by FactoryRejects
12-12-12
Looks like you're in charge of the Stripcreator IRC chat.
I'm too drunk
It's in good hands.
I'm too drukn

 

by FactoryRejects
1-24-13
Be careful, Slayne. This is the Carnival of the Damned.
Who knows what kind of sinister trap this could be.
...I'll be damned. They have skee-ball.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-24-13
What do you mean we have to leave?
I only won two tickets so far! That's not enough for anything good!
Don't tell me to save them for next time we're not coming back here for like FOREVER

 

by FactoryRejects
1-26-13
Andor! Engage the blocklist! I wish to download a movie.
The US Government ruined the internet. You can't do things like that anymore.
...I'll be the one who decides what I can an-
CURSES

 

by FactoryRejects
1-26-13
Sing Sing Correctional Facility - Internet Offender Cell Block V
Hey, Space-Turkey. You have a visitor.
Thank God. Andor is finally here.
...Get the hell away from me.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-26-13
Why did you bother coming into the prison as a visitor if you were just going to blow up the perimeter? ...I hate you so much, Slayne.
Sir, a few prisoners blew up the east perimeter wall and are escaping.
They're not downloading anything, are they?

 

by FactoryRejects
1-26-13
"Go north through the field until you get to a large tree, with a suspicious rock below it."
"Look underneath the rock. I left something there for you."
This must be it.
"Remember Zrogagks, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
What in the hell am I supposed to do with an old copy of MarioKart64?

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-13
...and I don't mean to brag but I'm basically one of the original characters. The strip was supposed to be about me originally but I had scheduling conflicts...
Hah!
Wow... Did he really just say that?
Schroeder has been spewing utter bullshit at Slayne for 20 minutes straight. It's almost impressive.
Big deal. I've been spewing utter bullshit at everyone for five years.

 

no more FactoryRejects comics
EVER
by FactoryRejects, 4-01-13

 

by FactoryRejects
4-12-13
Oh sweet lord fuck my ankle arrrgh
Oh you men. You sprain your ankle and it's like you lost a leg.
..........I sprained my ankle in the war.
The war against yourself?

 

by FactoryRejects
4-13-13
Your "I quit" April fool's joke wasn't very original.
Well... you can't be original all the time.
It's like that saying.
"You can't be original all the time."

 

by FactoryRejects
4-18-13
IRC is becoming the Sanskrit of the internet
...................
God damn it

 

by FactoryRejects
4-22-13
Andor! The ship's console is asking me for a "sudo password"! ......ANDOR!
WindowsXP kept crashing. I installed Debian. In the words of Microsoft: "DEAL WITH IT".
........ANDOR WHERE IS MY BONZI BUDDY

 

by FactoryRejects
4-22-13
Just go there and get the i686 package. Then you'll be running at full speed.
Oh thank god. We were lapped by Hubble 5 times. Talk about embarassing.
...Why are you helping me fix the console, anyway?
Because I'm shitfaced and short on comedic material.
Oh I see

 

by FactoryRejects
4-23-13
I like to imagine myself as a Klingon warrior. It gives me a sense of self-worf.
.................................................
I'm not going to bother telling jokes anym-
Okay.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-02-13
Jeff Hanneman of SLAYER... What in the hell are you doing up here?
Oh, I fuckin' died.
Thought maybe I'd come up here and start a band with Chuck Schuldiner.
....That sounds fucking amazing.
Yeah.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-12-13
So you people at the CIA and NSA have been spying on all our internet activity?
Yes.
To catch terrorists?
Yes.
Terrorists such as yourselves?
No.

 

by FactoryRejects
7-14-13
NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH. Prove you're not black.
I'm in the KKK.
........likely story.

 

NNNMMMMGHIP-HOP THURSDAYS
Hip-hop thursdays.
by FactoryRejects, 8-08-13

 

by FactoryRejects
9-10-13
Oh sweet lord; it's back.
TIME TUNNELVISION
...If I start to swerve take the wheel

 

by FactoryRejects
10-04-13
STEP ONE
So I was watching this movie about a time tunnel. You know, one of those things wh-
OH MY FUCKING GOD I KNOW what a time tunnel is. I'm not an asshole.
STEP TWO
Did you see my Zune anywhere around here? You know what I mean, right? .................... ...................................right?
I have no idea what you mean.
STEP THREE
Hey, I nee-
Go fuck yourself.

 

by FactoryRejects
11-02-13
ANDOR! Where are my memory cards?
...for the camera?
What? No, for the Playstation One.
Oh. I gave those to Slayne.
WHAT

 

by FactoryRejects
11-02-13
GO. RIGHT NOW. Get my memory cards back from Slayne. Do not speak to me until you have them back.
Turven Residence, Planet Urf
Slayne! ....Slaaayne! SLAAAAAAYYYNE!
Damn it Slayne! You know I can't knock! I'll fall down.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-30-14
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Oh hell. This comic I just made is exactly like one I posted a while ago. I'd better take it down.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
For fuck's sake... This had better be important.
OKAY hello yes what-
Heard about your duplicate comic

 

by FactoryRejects
2-16-14
I do enjoy the musical efforts of that homeless man Mumford.
But I do not agree with a vagrant forcing his sons to play music for money. ...ANDOR!!!
Yes sir?
Call the Child Protective Services.

 

by FactoryRejects
2-16-14
So Zrogagks wants me to call CPS about Mumford's sons.
I'm going to tell him I did, and that they were rescued and adopted by Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish.
He's not going to find out the truth; he seriously is the type of guy that has a Bing homepage and searches for Google.

 

by FactoryRejects
3-20-14
Hey, I know you. You're that guy that ruined all those people's funerals.
Aren't you happy about it?

 

by FactoryRejects
7-08-14
IN THE BEGINNING
There we go. I have made man, in my image.
He doesn't look anything like you.
...You're already disappointing me.

 

by FactoryRejects
8-08-14
My Lord, you have recieved a prayer to damn a housefly.
"Damn a Housefly" sounds like a Jack White album.
Very amusing, my Lord. Shall I deny his request?
Oh, who cares. Hey... I wonder if I could create a housefly so annoying that even I Myself couldn't damn it.
You may already have, My Lord.
I work in mysterious ways.

 

by FactoryRejects
8-11-14
Hi God.
Robin Williams? Why are you here?
I killed myself.
Well, that's not very funny. It's like you're making the whole world watch Patch Adams.
I'm sorry.
Look, it's okay. Seriously though, this is why you should never stop doing drugs.

 

by FactoryRejects
8-27-14
Earth is getting too much bad intergalactic press for its poor decisions. We need a distraction.
What if we drew a big dick on the moon?
Nah, everyone would just know we did it.
....a big dick on Mars?
You're a goddamn genius.

 

by FactoryRejects
8-27-14
Sir, the Earth Governments have requested you use your deah ray to draw a big dick on Mars. I told them we don't d-
Tell them I'll do it.
Sir?
Tell them we'll draw the dick.
...I wasn't aware Mars was on your "list", sir.
It isn't. I'm just bored.

 

by FactoryRejects
8-27-14
Hey! Did you hear about the big dick on Mars?
Yeah. Absolutely tasteless. Children can see that thing.
I can't believe they did that. It's the kind of thing Earthlings would do.
I know.
...and they drew it right next to the face!

 

by FactoryRejects
9-08-14
So I'm in jail because my husband was running an illegal Mall-Santa operation.
Really? I'm in jail because I decided to try to sell morphine through my arts and crafts store.
Wow. I used to love arts and crafts. Until my sister choked to death on a pipe cleaner.
I have a brother with a terminal bone disease.
You know, we're both awful and uninteresting people. Would you like to stop talking and suddenly have lesbian sex?
Yes. That's like the best kind of sex.

 

by FactoryRejects
9-08-14
I am havink difficult time keepink power in prison.
...What kind of accent is that? What part of Russia are you supposed to be from?
I am thinkink... North? North Russia?
All of Russia is north. You still think you're on Voyager, don't you?
I will get this ship home.

 

by FactoryRejects
9-08-14
Okay ladies, behave or I'll take my heaving man-penis to you.
What?
Penis. My penis. You a lady with boobs and that means you're for my penis.
...Are you fucking serious? Is this show a comedy?
................my penis in your vagina
Jesus Christ

Showing page 7.

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