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| So I'm in jail because my husband was running an illegal Mall-Santa operation. | |
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| Really? I'm in jail because I decided to try to sell morphine through my arts and crafts store. | |
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| Wow. I used to love arts and crafts. Until my sister choked to death on a pipe cleaner. | |
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| I have a brother with a terminal bone disease. | |
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| You know, we're both awful and uninteresting people. Would you like to stop talking and suddenly have lesbian sex? | |
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| Yes. That's like the best kind of sex. | |
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