All comics by bencomic

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
<dr_dos> hurr durr butts dicks david simpson
<madtom> hurr durr incest cats jay naylor
<dr_dos> hurr durr liberalism
<madtom> hurr durr buddhism
<dr_dos> hurr durr pennsylvania honor student
<madtom> hurr durr foreign finish university without even finishing highschool

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
<dr_dos> hurr durr accountant
<madtom> hurr durr psychologist
<dr_dos> hurr durr help me madtom my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore
<madtom> hurr durr $100/hour
<madtom> hurr durr kracken sex
<dr_dos> hurr durr that cute guy who puked on my dick

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
...
<madtom> hurr durr powerpuff girl porn
... fuck

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
Before we go any further, I'd like to introduce a new player to our menagerie of horrors.
This man, nay, this LEGEND, has been, for better or worse (usually the latter), a part of the ZZT community since 1999.
Despite his prolonged tenure in the ZZT community, however, only recently has he begun to frequent the annals of #rawr, and thus bring himself to this comic's attention.
He's a twenty-four year old British man, living it up in the Grim (and necro) North with his baccy and booze, and his disturbing inability to not be a horrible idiot.
Ladies and gentlemen, I, Zenith Nadir, am proud to bring you... the Sunderland Sensation, Scorch3000!!!
* Scorch says "go go gadget vibrator", and a robotic arm holding a vibrator pops out of his head, he then shoves it up Nadir's ass, causing Nadir to scream with pleasure

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
I had a dream once (sugar buzz? I had a large box of birthday chocolates that day [aka, my 21st]),
that ZZT was being re-released with full 3d suport (like a create any game you want with easy coding. I knew it was a dream, as who'd do a crazy thing like that?
scorch had a sugar buzz on his 21st birthday
HOW HARDCORE IS THAT
HIS MOM ALLOWED HIM TO EAT SUGAR (JUST THIS ONCE)
the more i think about it the funnier it is

 

by bencomic
2-12-06
* Scorch grabs Scorch from behind, and shoved an stun batron up his arse, and laughs as his eyes light up
Cool. I must have been on a coffee buzz when i did these slaps.

 

by bencomic
2-13-06
one of the worst bullies I had throughout elementary school hung himself when I started junior high
that was awesome, what an asshole.
they planted a tree in his memory...
but then the tree got bulldozed to make room for an expansion for the school.
a tree would not exactly be my first choice of commemorative medium for someone who hung himself.
that would be sort of like dedicating a new school pool to a kid who drowned himself

 

by bencomic
2-13-06
So you do something when you're a child, genuinely unaware of there being anything wrong with it
by the time you know better, you forgot all about this, so it doesn't occur to you then either.
but then one day, for no apparent reason, the memory returns and you put the pieces together
and it is at that moment you realize...
...YOU wrote Snake, Rattle & Roll fanfiction

 

by bencomic
2-13-06
freud would have a field day with eurakarte, though
because like, he ACCEPTS pictures of phalluses on girls
but at the same time when he sees them in a normal context, like in NATURE
like with mushrooms
he rejects them!
yeah, if any of you ever wanted to torture me you could like withhold my zantac and throw those god damn puffball mushrooms at me. god i hate those things. they are satan incarnate

 

by bencomic
2-13-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
the song I'm listening to just said "I mustered up courage"
my first thought was "mmm... mustard."

 

by bencomic
2-14-06
...you're a fucking idiot
You call me the idiot? HA!
yes i do. in fact, i name you... a colossus among morons. a leviathan of retardidity
hahaha. Thanks, i havn't laughed that much in ages
a hercules among mere mortals
roflmao! stop, you're killing me.

 

by bencomic
2-14-06
You claim that i'm an idiot, a fool, a retard? Why don't you start acting like the intelligent guy you claim to be?
pisshead
* Scorch farts in Nadir's general direction
Now nadir smells like my ass! hahahahahahahaha
* Scorch has left #rawr

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
check out my new bowl
was it handcrafted by indian mystics
no

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
one time
i was playing with an extra long ruler in math class
and he was like
"MEASURING SOMETHING? LOL"
and i was like
"YEAH THATS WHY I HAVE THE 18-INCH ONE"

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
*** Scorch3000 has joined #rawr.
Hi guys.
what
I said "Hi". Is their a problem with that? If their is, then, to put it bluntly, tough.
dude, all I said was "what". don't be like Scrappy Doo or anything here
* Scorch3000 laughs his arse off. Well, why did you say what when all i said was hi?
the question is why I literally said one word to you and you're already picking a fight :(

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
okay, i'll upload it
wait a sex
...c
whoops
hi!

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
i just cleaned up the votes file, someone had submitted the same vote four times ! !
Wow, thin spread.
terryn let's calculate the standard deviation!!!!!
hi!
<Kjorteo> what????!! spread where
Actually more like "deviation", but that works too.

 

by bencomic
2-15-06
I just wrote a great commercial
SCENE: Two guys are walking down a hall, and run into eachother, spilling foodstuffs
You got your milk in my cereal!
I sure did.
[25 second pause, followed by end of commercial]

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
MooseKuh has joined #rawr
hello
:)
you fool
:(
i love you
:)

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
* jojoisjo has joined #rawr
Mwa, I finished it. The best ZZT RPG engine evar. Now to actually use it!
jojoisgay
what the! it's not like he came in here and went 'lol HEY TYRANNASS lolz'
that's not very nice
tyrannous is trying to move up the ladder of command by challenging my stature.
It's like what wolves do before the better one kicks their ass.

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
Hey Nadir, Am I allowed to like Peanut Butter?
since you asked so nicely, yes
i luv u
of course you do!
God damnit.. I gotta go sit in a game store and yell at kids and play games, and get paid for it. Woe is me :(
your job sucks. except it doesn't

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
hhehe tyran IMed me
IM: go and do that in the street and see if you get away with it
IM: you won't if I find you.
do what in the street? apparently talk about your job?
you're not allowed to like peanut butter in public or tyrannous will GET you
"get" as in dryhump you like a pillow

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
you were like saying that this is still a meritocracy; you're wrong. this country is owned by fag weaklings
tyrannous is expounding his nazi creed of eugenics and blood and iron
...if this country is owned by fag weaklings, wouldn't it be easy to overthrow them? if it isn't easy, they must not be so weak!
they HOLD THE POWER that is beyond the strength of well armed MEN! the power of ECONOMICS! people are forced to go out and work for a living and they cannot overthrow them to put an end to this
"working sucks, people should get things for free"
if the united states government was ever in danger of being overthrown in a violent revolution bush would shit himself, and oh how the children would smile

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
i love how i come back here and tyrannous is being a dumbass. it really makes my day
If I was president I would reinstate the Red Scare. Put everyone in their place.
This 'unpatriotic' stuff isn't strong enough - we have to go back to thinking everyone is a commie.
what, do you think i'm a communist? you're wrong
THE RED TERROR IS IN YOUR BACKYARD!!!!!
I would post those signs on the streets.

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
the red terror probed your ass with dynamite.
AND IT DID
yes
it... it's the sad and frightening truth
The red terror raped your grandmother.
THIS IS HOW THEY CONTROL YOU.

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
you guys would all be in a metal hospital if you spent time on the streets
metal hospitals suck. i like the plastic ones.
yeah well we don't hump our mother's pillows
OH NO GET THIS ALUMINUM TO ER!! STAT!!
tyrannous is a thug angel from da streetz who belongs in a metal hospital
no, i'm AGAINST the thugs

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
and there is utterly no evidence to back up your theory that i ejaculated on my mother's pillow
i enjoy this knowledge
we enjoy the knowledge that you like to jizz on your mom's face
tyrannous please explain what the fuck you're talking about.
i NEVER FUCKING CAME ON ANYONE'S PILLOW! GET IT? I NEVER DID ANYTHING OF THE KIND
now you're getting defensive

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
you admitted it on z2
show ME
fuck that, i'm busy finding roms
SHOW ME THE EVIDENCE THAT I ADMITTED IT!!! NOW!! FOR FUCK SAKE
<tryannous> i want to cum on my mommys pillow then shit all over her tits while having a monster orgasm
I NEVA SAID THAT

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
THAT'S FORGERY!! FUCKIGN
* tyrannous was kicked by crankgod (no caps plz)
* tyrannous has joined #rawr
I'LL GET YOU FFOR THIS NADIr
* tyrannous was kicked by crankgod (second warning)
* tyrannous has joined #rawr
* tyrannous was kicked by crankgod (third warning)

 

by bencomic
2-16-06
* tyrannous has joined #rawr
I'll find out where you live Saltfleet I'll find out where you live Saltfleet I'll find out where you live Saltfleet I'll find out where you live Saltfleet I'll find out where you live Saltfleet
ok
* crankgod sets mode: +b *!*rickretro@*.co.uk
* tyrannous was kicked by crankgod (jerk)
that rocked
nadir you should find out where he lives, and show up at his door

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
there's too many lesbian scenes in this movie
lesbians are boring
lesbians can't penetrate ANYTHING
nope, sure can't

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
I turned 13 December 28, 2000.
haha
...age discrimination.
that's it.
* Lifesummer is away (Brooding.)
i'm leaving...

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
oh what the hell what the god damn hell
so i get up to go to the bathroom to take a leak, right
i get up, go in the men's room, and there's a fucking girl in there
did you die?
was she holding her limp dick in her fingers?
and then you puked on her

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
she's like
"geez i'm sorry someone puked in the girls' room"
jesus she couldn't like go to a different floor or something
the guys' bathroom was the one place i thought i was safe
you were rooted to the spot.
and the camera rotated around your head 360 degrees

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
"name five real-life situations where an english-reading ability would be crucial".
pooping
no
...well, maybe

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
1. A man points a gun at your head and says "CAN YOU READ ENGLISH? I'LL SHOOT YOU IF YOU CAN'T" and he's real good at telling if you're lying
2. Reading out loud to children from an english book, and the children have hanguns leveled at you, ready to shoot if you make a mistake
3. That guy from before is back, and although he doesn't have a gun this time, you're standing on a trapdoor and below it is crocodiles.
4. You go to buy a handgun to defend yourself against the people in real-life situations 1 through 3, but to get it you have to fill out some paperwork, in english.
As you look up from the paperwork, you see the gun shop owner is leveling a handgun at you. "Can't read english?" he asks, his voice unnervingly empty of emotion.
5. driving

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
"Because shotacon art tends to emphasize cuteness, common themes are yaoi, crossdressing, or even incest with an older sister or relative."
nothing is cuter than incest.
"tee hee, i fucked mom"

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
guys... i pooed
send photos
sorry i flushed
Well, flush the camera down after it on a time delay setting.
why dont i flush your skull down there too. how would you like that
send photos

 

by bencomic
2-17-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX: ajs loses his akick access
What is it with you guys and totally ignoring any right I have to any form of contribution to the channel? Do my years of service mean nothing to you?

 

by bencomic
2-19-06
when i was six years old i seriously wanted to be a lemming of the green-haired variety. i'm not sure why. i mean, they die. a LOT. but i thought they were awesome
they were your spirit animal
yeah, i was a primordial incarnation of a pokemon furry.
so were you a builder, blocker, climber, or what?
whenever i hit the number to win i'd usually just blow up anything else. blue green and peach pixels EVERYWHERE
i always felt bad doing that because they were going to get to the exit and you were KILLING THEM. denying their right to live and love

 

by bencomic
2-27-06
madtom star wars is on the telly tonight!!!!!!!!!!
gay
oh you love star wars i know it
th ... THAT'S A LIE
come on, i remember reading in your lj with that post about your only friend in primary school. i'm pretty sure you said you wrote star wars fanfics with him
NO

 

by bencomic
2-27-06
haha yes! i bet you put yourself in them
"Oh no!" exclaimed C-3PO, before Tom interjected "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FAGGOT PIECE OF SHIT."
NO!!!! N O!!!!!!! NEVER EVER
HRAHLHFLSHFAS fASLDSHAJDWHA DQ
and i bet you tried to find the biblical references in it
FUCK YOU!!!! FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU

 

by bencomic
2-27-06
i find your lack of faith disturbing.
stop, please
oh god
tell me madtom
where is the rebel base?
hfhohdohdas you may fire when ready

 

by bencomic
2-27-06
MEANWHILE IN #MZX:
MY NAME IS SAUDADE
AND I AM A FUCKING CUNT
WITH NO REAL FUCKING REASON TO HAVE RAZERBOY ON IGNORE
BECAUSE RAZERBOY HAS NOT DONE ONE FUCKING THING WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME
SO FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER
ignored

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
<- captain fagdick

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
I am Blat Hoople, President of Water.
I control the water throughout the earth, except in countries who did not sign the Meecher Document of 1998.
Blat Hoople, Blat Hoople, doopiedoopiedoopiedoopie BLAT HOOPLE

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
"Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine. When he awoke, he exclaimed:
"I don't know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine, or a machine dreaming that I am Turing!"
turing can go suck a dick
zamros he did

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
<Flimsy> I imagine a MZXer walking down a cold empty street, looking in the windows of a dirty vandalized warehouse ...
?
I read your post. I cried several times.
<Flimsy> ... and inside is a bunch of people acting out a crude pantomime of their own life.
Someone give this kid a memory upgrade.
Care to describe the algorithm?
<Flimsy> They look down in vague despair and walk on, their hands in their pockets.
Gahhh! Auto-rejoin!!
:(((

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
flimsy why are you so strange
there's a hole int he bucket! dear aelizza dear elizila that'ere s ahorrible an in the bucket a boerhoible ha hole.
... thank you

 

by bencomic
2-28-06
jerk ninjas are the lower caste of feudal japan
madtom
who are forbidden from learning the wank arts of the jerk samurai
stop talking about masturbation. please.
they started it!

Showing page 7.

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