All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
5-19-05
So, me matey... (Arrrrrrrgggghh!) Me wife sent me to see a hypnotist to solve my lack of performance in the bedroom. And, it did the trick!
Groovy!
All I have to do before attempting sex with her, (arrrrggghh) is to repeat one little phrase three times in the mirror. Then I become a raging love machine!
Great! What's the phrase?
"She's not my wife!"
Arrrrrggghhh!

 

by edoggydog
5-20-05
So, I'm watching that movie, "Internal Affairs", and there's a scene where this married couple gets into a big fight which leads to them having sex...
Groovy!
Anyhoo, I found the whole thing unbelievable, until I remembered the time when I "whacked off" right after my dad spanked me for being naughty...
This happened when you were a kid?
Actually... This happened last week!
T.M.I.! T.M.I.!

 

by edoggydog
5-20-05
...then, I said to Moses, "Dude... Forty years lost in the desert? Haven't you ever heard of 'OnStar', you bonehead?"
Groovy!
Say... Could you do me a HUGE favor? My left shoulder is a bit sore. Do you mind giving it a quick ice massage..?
Uh... I don't think-
FINE! GOOD LUCK SPENDING ETERNITY BURNING IN HELL, SINNER!
Okay! Okay! I'll go get the ice pack! Sheeeesshhh!

 

by edoggydog
5-20-05
So, this is where it [*sob*] ends for the French-looking, fag-boy!
Groovy!
*gasp!*
Hey guys! I'm not really dead! I was just in a deep, transcendental meditation!
Are you okay?
Will somebody please dig me the @$#% out?!

 

by edoggydog
5-20-05
Hmmm... This article my brother sent me talks about how tourism is down in those countries that were hit hard by that big tsunami last December...
Groovy!
The Priminster of Dalmatia was quoted as saying, "I'm not worried. Visitors to our nation tend to come in 'waves', anyway (ha, ha)..."
?
...to wit, the people of his country proceeded to string him up by his nuts, and stone him to death! Then, they drug his naked carcass through the streets of the capital...
Ouch!

 

by edoggydog
5-20-05
...so, then I say to Kathy, "That's so weird! I, too, have an afghan at home with pink flowers woven in!"
Groovy!
Then, we shared pics of our cats, and talked about the next "Bachelor". I told her that I didn't think the last one was all that cute, but-
Yea, yea, yea... Listen. Why don't we go back to my place for warm beer and a blowjob?
(SLAP!!)
I guess she doesn't like warm beer!

 

by edoggydog
5-24-05
Groovy!
I'm next in line for the confessional...
(2 hours later...)
What's taking so long in there for my mother..?

 

by edoggydog
5-24-05
...so, then I says to the old woman, "Bring it on, Grandma!"
Groovy!
But... I guess I just let the whole situation get the best of me! I need to find a better way to vent my frustrations...
I find the best way to vent for me is to pull out my penis, and slam the car door on my nuts...
I can't believe I just said that out loud! Shit!

 

by edoggydog
5-24-05
Welcome to the condo association, neighbor! I'm the president of the HOA, and I'll be throwing a party at my home this Friday in your honor...
Groovy!
It's going to be a rager! They'll be plenty of eating and drinking, dancing, kissing, and I guarantee you'll get laid!
Dude... Count me in! What should I bring?
Uh... I don't think you'll need to bring anything. It's just going to be the two of us...
Hmmm... No wonder this condo was under-priced when I bought it...

 

by edoggydog
5-25-05
"To be, or not to be... That it the question. Whether is is better to live, or drive this nail through my @%#$ brain!"
Groovy!
So, what do you think of my updated version of "Hamlet"?
Would you like some "constructive" criticism? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!! [snort}
Hey! I'm trying to be serious here, fuck-face!
Sorry...

 

by edoggydog
5-25-05
I just read on-line that there were rare identical quadruplets born in Texas today...
Groovy!
Apparently, all four of the babies are incoherent in their communication at this point. All they can basically do is drool... You know what this means, don't you?
Nope.
This confirms these babies are the evil spawn of "W"...
I think this little, smart-ass kid is way overdue for a sever beating about the head and shoulders!

 

by edoggydog
5-25-05
Dude... I just read on-line a report about how a baby is named relates to the mother's obsession...
Groovy!
For example... If, I mother names her kid "Candy", she is obsessed with sweets. "Brandy" means an obsession with alcohol, and "Penny" means money...
Fascinating! Say... Can I ask you a question?
Sure...
What's your mom doing Friday night, Dick?

 

by edoggydog
5-25-05
Dude... I'm you from your future. I came by way of a time-portal...
Groovy!
Do you have any questions I can answer for you about you?
Yes. Will I be married with children by the time I'm 40 years old?
How the hell would I know? I'm only from fifteen minutes in the future, bonehead!
Okay... Then, will I be kicking my own ass in the next ten seconds?

 

by edoggydog
5-26-05
Dude... So, I got so hooked on watching poker on TV, that I started gambling on line!
Groovy!
Uh... Not "groovy"! As you can see, I lost my pants! Anyhoo... I've joined Gamblers Anonymous, and I'm confident I'll be cured and stop gambling away all my money...
Wanna bet?
Sure! What kind of odds- ah, fuck you!
What a loo-hoo-hooooo-zer!!!

 

by edoggydog
5-26-05
...so, then I says to my high school principal, "Education, schmeducation! I'm just going to 'wing it' through life!"
Groovy!
Say... Do you have any "loose" change?
No. I've raised my money "properly"...
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
I love fucking with the homeless!

 

by edoggydog
5-26-05
...so, then I says to the dickhead, "Watch who you're calling Mr. Ed", and proceeded to back-kick him in the nuts!
Groovy!
Y'know... Last night I walked into a bar down on Clancy, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
How did you respond to that?
I told him to pour me a glass of "shut-the-fuck-up", and then took a major dump on his cash register!
You should have challenged him to a game of "HORSE"! HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Late...

 

by edoggydog
5-26-05
Dude... I'm diggin' this Stripcreator.com website! I've written over 300 comics in only four months!
Groovy!
And, the best part is that I'm free to create my comics without the restraints of political correctness, nor, more importantly, clean language!
You do realize that if your cartoons are too controversial, or contain too much foul language, you'll never hit it big in mainstream publishing, right?
Really? Fuck!
And, just wait until they make you start donating to the website!

 

by edoggydog
5-31-05
Dude... Check that out!
Groovy!
I know she's only four years old, but I just gotta have her!
Uh... Are you talking about your neighbor's daughter, or his dog?
The dog, you moron! Do you think I'm some kind of sicko?
That would be a "yes"...

 

by edoggydog
6-01-05
Babe... Do me a favor, and go grab the guest list...
Groovy!
No... There isn't a problem. Well, there may be a problem...
...then, after spending six months studying Post-modern Libyan Surrealism at USC, my father found out what his money was going towards, and cut off all funding...
I just don't remember inviting that French-looking, fag-boy over there to this party...
...so, then I dropped out of college and have been unemployed ever since... So what's your name? Wait! Where you going? Come back...

 

by edoggydog
6-01-05
...then, dad says to me, "Get off that goddamn computer and go watch TV, for chrissakes!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... My aunt gave me this stoopid "Joke-a-Day" calendar for Christmas. The jokes are so @%#$ lame! It really sucks!!
Why don't you just throw it away?
Can't do that! Where do you think I get most of my ideas for "Groovy!"?
Wow! Check out that huge stack of "D-Cup" magazines he's got in his closet!

 

by edoggydog
6-01-05
A conversation stars out innocently enough...
...so , then the comedian did a prop-gag that made me laugh so hard, hydraulic fluid came out my nose!
Groovy!
...then, someone throws in a zinger...
I tell ya... I loves me that Carrot Top!
Yeah, yeah... By the way, did anyone ever tell you your eyeballs look like the brakelights from a '68 Rambler?
...and the next thing you know, the French-looking, fag-boy gets his spine crushed by Clango out in the parking lot!
Oh, yeah? Well, did anyone tell you your hat looks like a toilet seat cover with a big nipple on it?
Oh, yeah? Why don't you make like a hairdryer, and blow me!

 

by edoggydog
6-02-05
C-c-can I ask y-y-you a q-q-question?
W-w-why do p-p-people drink d-d-decaffainated c-c-coffee?
Maybe, because they like the taste of coffee, but don't like how the caffeine makes them all jittery...
Th-th-that's s-s-silly! It's the b-b-buzz from c-c-caffeine that g-g-gets me thr-thr-through the d-d-day!
I think I now understand why this guy got b-b-banned from St-st-starbucks...

 

by edoggydog
6-02-05
Before we continue with the strip, I would like to address the fans of "Groovy!"...
Groovy!
It's been pointed out to me that in episode 322, this doofus here forgot to say, "Groovy!" in the first panel. One guy even questioned if we were nearing the Apocalypse!
Uh... Watch who you're calling a doofus!
Oh, gee... Right! Calling you a doofus would be an insult to doofuses!
Hmmm... You know what would hit the spot right now? Pumpkin pie! YUM, YUM! Wait here while I go turn on the oven...

 

by edoggydog
6-02-05
Dude... I just read on-line about these ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel who decided to make a horror film...
Groovy!
It opens as two rabbis walk into a Macy's and actually pay retail! Then, in the next scene, a Hasidic Jew goes to the supermarket and has a dilemma over some free ham! Spooky!!
How does the movie [gulp] end?
A Jewish girl decides to marry a gentile, and they actually celebrate Christmas!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

 

by edoggydog
6-03-05
Groovy!
No... I Don't know him, either! I'm just listening in on his coversation with Maynard to see if he really belongs here...
Well, if you ask me, I say we round them up...
Hold on...
...and catapult all those illegals back to Mexico!
He belongs!

 

by edoggydog
6-03-05
Dude... Can I ask you a question?
Groovy!
Well... Seeing how the hotel has burned down, and the local village is completely destroyed, not to mention the 347 people either dead or missing...
What's your question?
Why the @%#$ did you book our vacation at the foot of an active volcano?!
Dude... You've had a negative attitude this entire trip!

 

by edoggydog
6-04-05
Dude... My brother sent me this article regarding that show, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"...
Groovy!
It says that the show's viewership has dropped 73% since the first season...
Does it say why?
Apparently, the people watching finally realized that those five guys on the show really DO take it up the ass!
They do? I gots to go check that out! Late...

 

by edoggydog
6-04-05
...so, then I tell Carpenter to name it "Halloween", and the rest is history...
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I brought you here because I just found out you've been appearing steadily in another strip called, "The Saga of Travis Lilycock", or something like that. What gives?
I'm just trying to earn a little side cash...
Yeah... But, you're not even funny in it!
I know. Apparently, they let some chimp with a keyboard bang out all the scripts! But, hey... I need the money!

 

by edoggydog
6-04-05
Groovy!
*cough*
Senoras y senors... I've come here today [*cough*] to discuss our nations mutal [*cough*] problemas with illegal immigration [*cough** cough*], and try to find a solution... [HACK!]
*cough* *cough* *cough*
The smog here in Mexico City is worse than I imagined!
*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* HAAACCKKK!!

 

by edoggydog
6-05-05
Groovy!
Thanks!
Those looks pretty expensive...
I have a buddy that works at Circuit City. He got me the employee discount...
So... Just how are you able to watch all nine TV's at the same time?
Ummm... DUH!

 

by edoggydog
6-06-05
...and, the upcoming Fall schedule is better than ever! Take a look at our new reality show called, "Two Ambulances and a Cop Car" playing on the flat-screen behind me...
Groovy!
Thanks again for visiting the TNT booth here at the 3rd Annual Cable Television "Pimp-It-Up!" Convention. Do you have any questions..?
Yeah... Where's the toilet? I needs to take a major dump!
Go to the end of this aisle and make a left. It'll be on your right-hand side...
You couldn't pay me enough to dress up in that goofy outfit!

 

by edoggydog
6-06-05
So, I went down to the YWCA and signed up for swim lessons today...
Groovy!
Unfortunately, all the spots are filled up at the moment...
Then, why are you wearing that suit..?
Because, I'm on the "wading" list...
Dammit! I gotta do a better job at watching for these lame-ass punchlines!!

 

by edoggydog
6-06-05
"...side effects include cramping, stomache aches, irritable bowels, anal bleeding, and major spotting of undergarments. But, atleast you'll won't have corn in your stools..."
Groovy!
"We now return to the news... Today, the 9th Circuit Federal Court ruled that the INS overstepped it's duty by actually arresting and detaining persons deemed to be in the U.S. illegally..."
!
"All the agents involved were summarily fired, and had their pensions revoked. Additionally, all 53 captured illegals were granted instant citizenship, and given forty acres and a burro..."
In-cray-DEE-blay!

 

by edoggydog
6-06-05
...then, the doofus said, "You're such an ass!" To wit, I responded, "Duh!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just read on-line that Molly Ringwald is "mulling over" a sequel to "Sixteen Candles"...
Really?
Yes... And, the working title is "WHAT? ARE YOU STOOPID? YOU HAVEN'T MADE A MOVIE IN YEARS! SIGN THE FUCKING CONTRACT ALREADY!!"
Hmmm... You know what I could go for right now? One of those new Carl's Jr.'s "Breakfast Club" Sandwiches...

 

by edoggydog
6-06-05
...so, that's why they kicked me out of Weight Watchers...
Groovy!
Say... Have you ever noticed that some of these veteran pornstars just kinda go through the motions now? I mean, Peter North doesn't even touch the girl anymore before he blows spooge in her face...
I know what you mean. In his last video, Ron Jeremy was eating a bowl of pasta will he was cornholing some skank...
Not that I (ahem) watch a lot of porn. See ya...
Uh... Me niether! Bye...

 

by edoggydog
6-07-05
...and, that's where we finished up! And, no, those are not bird droppings all over the hood of that car...
Groovy!
I tell ya... She's a sexual dynamo! I keep rubbing my eyes, expecting to awaken from some wet dream or something! But, there is the downside to all of this fornicating...
What could that POSSIBLY be?
My dick hurts!
Well, atleast your ass doesn't hurt like mine- I mean, uh... Damn! I didn't just say that out loud!

 

by edoggydog
6-07-05
Dude... I just read a quote by Mary Kay Ash. She said, "Sandwich every bit of criticsm between two layers of praise."
Groovy!
Y'know, I live my life by a similar credo...
Let me guess... You sandwich your big, black dick between a pair of double-D tits?
You know me so well...
No... I know the writer of this strip so well!

 

by edoggydog
6-07-05
I'd like to take a moment and give a shout out to all the other cartoonists in Stripcreator.com...
Groovy!
As y'all might have read on-line, apparently a man with a bloodied chainsaw was allowed to enter the U.S. from Canada! Turns out he sawed off some guy's head up in New Brunswick...
How awful!
Yes, it is! And, normally we'd be writing some sick or smart ass joke in reference to this, but we've decided to defer to other cartoonists to create the obvious comedic story lines...
Just make sure your humor is "cutting edge'... HAHAHAHAHAAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Late...

 

by edoggydog
6-08-05
I look great? Thanks! I had a natural breast enlargement...
Groovy!
They're called tumors!
HAHAHA- wait a minute! You did that same joke in yesterday's strip by alcoac14!
Yeah, I know... alcoac14 sent me over here because it killed in his strip, and he thought he could help yours because, let's face it, your last few comics SUCKED ASS!
So did your mommy, whore!

 

by edoggydog
6-08-05
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
6-08-05
...so, then I tell the cop, "Hit me again, and this time put some stank on it!"
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Me and my bitch- uh, girlfriend just bought a pair of Palm Treo camera phones. They're awesome! We've just been introduced to a whole new world of communication!
You mean the text messaging feature where you can send quick notes to each other?
No, you dumb cracker! The camera feature where we can send nude pics of ourselves to each other!
Really? Can you put me on your "buddy" list?

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
Dude... The dating scene nowadays is kick-ass! There's a ton of horny bitches that are just a computer mouse click away!
Groovy!
I'm constantly fighting off pussy! It's unending!!
So... Then, you've forgotten all about your cute Persian ex-girlfriend?
I had up to now! (*sniff*) Thanks for reminding me, asshole! (*sob*) Oh, why did she leave me? WHY? WAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
Whoopsie!

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
So... You're suffering from an upset stomach? Do what I do when I get ill. I take a couple of hours off and go bone my wife! Works every time!
Groovy!
Two hours later...
Well... Did it work?
Yes! Just like you said it would...
By the way... You have a nice house!

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
...so, then I stood like this, and the next thing I know, they're using my image to create the "Mr. VW" man! Kooky!
Groovy!
On a serious note, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm considering canceling my contract with Stripcreator.com...
Why? You're one of the most popular characters on the site!
Exactly! Every newbie puts me in his or her first cartoon, and makes up some lame joke about me pounding this nail into my head! I'm starting to get major migranes! FUCK!!!
I guess I'd better hold off giving him next week's script...

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
buzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Groovy!
BUZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZ...
Okay! I got it! You can stop now!!
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Hmmm... I better go re-read the directions for this voice-activated "Monster Alarm Clock"...

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
...so, then I went to the local whorehouse, (arrrgghhh!) and had the hooker "shiver me timber", if you know what I mean...
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just saw a movie about a one-armed baseball player from the 1940's. (Arrrgghhh!) He was able to do everything else a normal player could, except for one thing...
What's that?
Hold a bat, and scratch his nuts at the same time! ARRRGGGHHHH!
I think I'll refrain from saying the obvious "whacking off" punchline...

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
...then, the Hollywood film critic said my last movie "laid an egg"! Well... HELLO!!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just read on-line that BONO is urging the European Union to send more AID to Africa... I find this baffling on two fronts...
How so?
Didn't Sonny die in a skiing accident ten years ago, and aren't there too many people in Africa already dying from AIDS?
You're such such a dumb cluck!

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
Normally, I would say "Groovy!" at this point, but this whole take off on the Easter Island theme is beginning to wear thin...

 

by edoggydog
6-09-05
...so, then I said to grandpa, "You mean to tell me that when I reach my 80's, I'll have to go back to wearing diapers all over again?! @%#$ that"
Groovy!
Say, uncle... Did you read that cacamayme report that most hurricanes are followed by a "baby boom"?
Yes. And, did you hear that Hurricane Jamalia hit the coast of Florida this morning?
Ah, shit! My sister's going to kill me!

Showing page 7.

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