All comics by Benco

Profile

 

by Benco
1-27-03
"[_ekus0ye_] Trade a permban on me for a permop after that expires?"
MARKLU THAT'S NOT MY NAME BACKWARDS AND THAT QUOTE MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL
"[Marklu] I was suckin' my dad's dick the other day when he suddenly whips it out of my mouth and cums all over my nuts"
I didn't say that.
"[Marklu] Hey _ry0suke_, get over here and sit on my fuckin' dick."
When did I say that?

 

by Benco
1-27-03
* ExcelBlue klines _ry0suke_ at his own house.
That means, when you come, ry0, I'm going to come klining you as soon as you are near the door.
with the hammer trap!
and the razor wire!

 

by Benco
1-27-03
Hello, I'm C C Lu hijacking Marklu (my son's) IRC account.
Hey C C Lu is it true you're mr. CLASS Q ACCESS
You are all very dishonarable.
Marklu you are very stupid!
I will hand it back to my son.

 

by Benco
1-27-03
Ok, I'm back.
Hey marklu! Tell your father for a nuclear technician with top secret access, he sure can't spell or use good grammar!
he's not a techinician. He's Lead Engineer and Safety Inspector.
like homer simpson!
Actually, I faked my dad.
no shit!

 

by Benco
1-27-03
I heard that #wtp is about childporn, is this correct?
WELL YOU'RE HERE AND EVERYBODY WANTS PICTURES OF YOU NAKED SO TAKE A GUESS
* ExcelBlue uses remote akill.
MARKLU IS LIKE A MAD PROFESSOR
WITH HIS REMOTE CONTROL A-KILL

 

by Benco
2-10-03
GUESS WHO'S GETTING THE ZELDA OOT BONUS GAMECUBE DISC TONIGHT
guess who's getting sex NEXT WEEK.
HAHA JOKES ON YOU! I'M USEING MY COPY OF ZELDA TO GET SEX!
AND HERE'S ME WITH ONLY MY RAVISHING CHARMS
:(
EXACTLY.

 

by Benco
2-18-03
IT'S "I'MABIGFATCOCKSUCKERNAMEDFUNK"
THAT'S NOT IT!
NO WONDER I CAN NEVER GET IT
IT = IN
But funnily enough you can't get it either
wo wo wo wo wo the ambulance is coming cuz u hurt me

 

by Benco
2-18-03
"im getting some speed tonight"
"then maybe I'll call laura while im fucked up haha"
HOLY CRAP ZAMRO OR DRACOS OR ZRACO OR DAMROS
SHUT UP OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
RIGHTY-O

 

by Benco
3-02-03
ALL RIGHT SAY SOMETHING FUNNY TO USHER IN THE ERA OF LEMMER
something funy :)
I WAS IN THE BAHTROOM THE OTHER DAY GETTING MY DICK SUCKED THROUGH A HOLE IN THE STALL
SHUT UP EVERYBODY SHUT UP
I WAS VISITING NEW YORK WHEN I WAS IN THE BATHROOM AND SOME HUGE FUCKING COCK SHOT THROUGH THE STALL PARTITION SO I SUCKED IT
I HATE YOU FAGS

 

by Benco
3-07-03
hey, about last cupple of times i was on, i was only kiddin around
WE FORGIVE YOU DARKSIDER <3 4VR
im honored
but if there is anyone who disses u, just come to me and ill make their mirc a living windows ME!!! :)

 

by Benco
3-16-03
SHUT UP
LEMMER, I LOVE YOU
SHUT UP ALL OF YOU
GIVE ME SOME KISSES
YOU WILL ALL DIE BRRLALAAAAAARRR
LEMER'S DOING HIS PARTY TRICK AGAIN

 

by Benco
3-27-03
YOUR NAN WOULD BE THE BEST POLICE CHIEF:
"UH OH, THE QUEEN HAS BEEN ASSASSINATED, WE HAVE THE PERSON RIGHT HERE"
"IS HE BLACK?"
"NO"
"THEN LET HIM GO, HE DIDN'T DO IT."

 

by Benco
3-27-03
"PUT OUT A WARRANT FOR THAT NIGGER ACTOR EDDIE MURPHY."
"WHY?"
"BECAUSE A BLACK MAN SHOULD NOT BE A BEVERLY HILLS COP."
INDEED

 

by Benco
3-27-03
THE BEST WAS WHEN I WENT TO SECONDARY SCHOOL HERE
I BROUGHT BACK SOME KID NAMED 'SEAN JOHNSON' WHO WAS BLACK, AND MY NAN MET HIM
"Hello there young man."
AND AFTER HE LEFT SHE WAS ALL:
"HE'S A NIGGER ENGLISHMAN, HOW'D HE GET THAT AMERICAN NAME?"

 

by Benco
3-27-03
MY NAN'S HALF POLISH BUT SHE TALKS ABOUT HOW BAD POLAND IS
ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO MY MOM WENT TO POLAND AND MY NAN WAS ALL:
"HITLER'S STILL IN POWER THERE, HE'LL KILL HER IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID HAIR"
YOU MEAN CYBER-POLAND
YES :DDDD. BUT THAT WAS THE BEST THING SHE EVER SAID, BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WAS BEING COMPLETELY SERIOUS

 

by Benco
4-03-03
IM WORKING IN A PUB AS A BARKEEP
"Bar keep". You've been playing RPGs again haven't you?
"TIS A PINT OF OUR FINEST ALE YE BE AFTER MISTER"
Is it in that little quiet pub you were talking about?
YEAH ITS LIKE CHEERS, EXCEPT EVERYONE IS 80 YEARS OLD AND WETS THEMSELVES.
Sounds like Nadir's kind of bar!

 

by Benco
4-03-03
*Nadir makes recordings of orgasms that sound like small tortured woodland animals and calls it art
MORE LIKE *Nadir makes recordings of orgasms that sound like small tortured woodland animals and masturbates furiously
AND CALLS IT ART

 

by Benco
6-26-03
CRANK YOU WANT TO BUY MY HP 200LX FOR ONLY $225. IT'S A HANDHELD 286 THAT RUNS ON DOS
NO
SOMEONE ELSE WILL BUY IT, YOU'LL SEE. THEN YOU'LL BE LIKE
"MAN I SURE COULD USE SOME DOS RIGHT NOW"
AND I'LL BE LIKE
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT MY FUCKIN 200LX QUEERCAKES"

 

by Benco
6-26-03
YAY I'M A JUNIOR NOW
GOOD. BUY YOURSELF A PRESENT
A $225 PRESENT
NICE TRY ZAMROS
:(

 

by Benco
7-04-03
oh god THEY'RE MAKING A MAX PAYNE 2
I WONDER WHAT HE'LL DO IN A NEW YORK MINUTE THIS TIME
MAKE AN OMELETTE
BOIL ONE THIRD OF AN EGG
SKILLET-TIME!

 

by Benco
7-04-03
MAX PAYNE 2 IS SUBTITLED "THE FALL OF MAX PAYNE"
SO I GUESS HE FALLS OVER AND GETS BACK UP AGAIN
IT'S 5 HOURS OF FALLING DOWN AN UP ESCALATOR
APPARENTLY THERES 3 TIMES AS MUCH SCRIPT!
SO I IMAGINE ITS "UNH...UNH...UNH..." FOR 3 HOURS AS HE FALLS DOWN STAIRS

 

by Benco
7-04-03
The plot will probably be "I WOKE UP ON THE HELLISH STREETS OF NEW YORK, THE NIGHT BEFORE I FELL DOWN STAIRS, STEEL IN MY FACE."
"TODAY: I BOIL AN EGG"

 

by Benco
7-04-03
"I walked in my front door to a hellish sight: somebody had made a mess of my kitchen, and they'd done a thorough job of it. A carton of eggs lie capsized on the floor, each individual egg shattered."
"Looking at this, the annoyance boiled within me, boiled like an egg. "I knew that if I wanted breakfast, I was going to have to face the mean december streets to buy some more eggs. And some milk."
"Soon I was out on those cold streets, the snow was like sugar, only when i put it in my tea it failed to sweeten it, just like I could never sweeten my wife."
"I reach the store, but its only open for one more new york minute. I fall."

 

by Benco
10-05-03
WHO HERE HAS A NEOPETS ACCOUNT AND CAN GIVE MOONPIE SOME POINTS. FOR HE JUST LOST EVERYTHING IN GAMBLING.
thats why youre never gonna lose your virginity
cause instead of doing manly things you dabble into shit like THAT
drac i've had anal sex so FUCK YOU
awesome. did he treat you good after?

 

by Benco
10-05-03
GOOD JOB AT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A HEARTBROKEN JUNKIE LOSER, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT, YOU IDIOT

 

by Benco
10-06-03
I'm reading a little bit about anal sex on everything2. ...not recieving, drac.
'a guilty conscience is its own accuser'
whoever smelt it dealt it.
...shit, that means that you smelled my ass, thus you dealt the anal.
i administered it

 

by Benco
10-06-03
HOLY GOD I'VE BEEN MAKING BENCOMICS FOR 2 YEARS NOW?
NOT JUST YOU, BUT SEVERAL OF US LIKE FUNK AND LEMMER
SHUT UP IT'S NOT FUNKOMIC NOW IS IT? NO
FUNKOMIC WOULD'VE BEEN A BETTER NAME
SHUT UP YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELINGS :(

 

by Benco
10-06-03
http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=Benco&ID=82317 BENCO WHY DID YOU MAKE GAY TRIBUTE COMICS
TO PROGRESS THE STORY AND BECUASE THEY WERE ACTULLY LEAVING
LIFE ISN'T ALL FUN AND GAMES YOU KNOW PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE DIEING
THEY WERE ACTUALLY LEAVING? HA, THEY NEVER LEAVE
YES YOU DID YOU YOURSELF LEFT SO FUCK OFF
DIE

 

by Benco
11-11-03
I JUST MADE MISTAKES :/
AND I TOOK EVERYTHING PERSONALLY
BUT I WAS A FUCKING 14 YEAR OLD :(
NOW IM FUCKING 14 YEAR OLDS!

 

by Benco
11-16-03
FUNK DOES LOVE EXIST
Yeah
YEAH FISH WINS! ITS 2:1 AND THIS IS A DEMOCRATIC NATION SO YOUR OPINIONS ARE INVALID
NO THIS IS A BENIGN DICK-TASTERSHIP REMEMBER

 

by Benco
11-16-03
I NEVER AGREED IT WAS A DEMOCRACY
WELL I NEVER AGREED TO A DICTATORSHIP, MADTOM
FUNK IS IT A DEMOCRACY
Yes - One man, one vote
MADTOM I THINK ITS TIME TO GIVE UP!
I'm the man and I get the vote

 

by Benco
11-16-03
FUNK YOU SHOLD SEE THIS PIECE OF POLITICS HOMEWORK I DID WHEN I WAS DRUNK
THE QUESTION WAS LIKE 'EXPLAIN THE FIRST PAST THE POST SYSTEM' AND I WROTE 'there is one voter and he gets one vote'
THEN I SPENT 2 PARAGRAPHIS EXPALINING WHY THE COUNTERS MIGHT GET CONFUSED AT THIS
AND FINISHED WITH 'all in all, the list system is a good idea'
AND I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO HAND IT IN AS WELL!

 

by Benco
11-16-03
Hey I just thought of a great name for a satirical porn film: THE HUNG PARLIAMENT
DO THOSE EXIST FUNK
With Labour fail and the Conservatives unelectable and the Liberal Democrats being Liberal Democrats we might get one this general election :(
WTF CONSERVATIVES UNELECTABLE
SOMEONE HASNT HEARD OF A MR. M. HOWARD
PRISON WORKS FUNK

 

by Benco
11-16-03
ITS LABOUR (BUSHBUSHBUSHBUSH), CONSERATIVE ( BAN ALL GAYS) OR LIBERAL (SEE LABOUR)
FISHFOOD THAT SURE SUCKS
Still, we stopped Saddam from potentially putting together a plan whereby he may have purchased materials which he could theoretically have used to build a bomb of some sort
FUNK: *COUGH* NORTHKOREA *COUGH*
Shh Nobody cares about North Korea now
If we ignore them they'll go away

 

by Benco
11-16-03
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO VOTE FOR
IM VOTING LIBERAL BECAUSE CHARLES KENNEDY LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF MAN WHO ID SLEEP WITH
Liberals. They've got no idea what to do, so it's kind of the same as voting anarchist. And anarchists make me giggle. The Liberals'll get in and go "Oooh, er, um. What do we do now? HELP PLZ :("
"GEE WHIZ THINGS HAVE CHANGED SINCE 1908 GUYS! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WOMEN CAN VOTE?!"
"THERE'S BEEN A SECOND WORLD WAR????"
THE FIRST THING THE LIBERALS WOULD DO IN GOVERNEMENT IS TO CHANGE TO PROPORTIONAL REPRESENTATION, THE SECOND THING WOULD BE GO TO SLEEP

 

by Benco
11-16-03
I LIKE HOW THE LIBERALS POLICIES ARE GETTING MORE AND MORE IMPOSSIBLE EVERY YEAR
"WE WILL BAN DEATH!!!! VOTE LIBERAL!"
ONE DAY THEY'LL GET ELECTED, THAT'LL TEACH THEM
I REALLY HOPE WE DO A PAPER ON THE LIBERALS, SO I CAN TITLE IT 'CRY ME A RIVER, LIBERAL'
Fish - I think the promise of crying each citizen a river is in their new manifesto

 

by Benco
11-16-03
Eurakarte must have the most nicknames of anyone in the community
Karte, Eura, Eurie, Eurakarte, You're a cart ...
MADTOM, MADSUCK, SUCKTOM, MADSUCKTOM, TOMSUCKMAD

 

by Benco
11-16-03
and while you're at it you can trim my nails, they've become frightfully long
Talons, eh? You know, I could probably use those nails in some dastardly voodoo ritual, if only voodoo weren't a load of old shite.
liar! voodoo is the one true faith and you know it
You and your graphics card obsession.
I'd hardly call it an obsession. its kind of like reverse paedophilia, in that i'm squeezing something new and sexy into my old case

 

by Benco
11-16-03
Tell me why I'm suitable for the journalism course
because you've always been a good solid performer who takes corners well and has only fallen on three jumps and only dropped your rider twice
You also bare the name and the lineage that they desire
My name being "TWO-HEADED SEX BEAST"

 

by Benco
11-16-03
"I see how anarcho-capitalism and libertarian socialism have the unifying factor of being anti-statist but with anarcho-capitalism you will still have huge private tyrannys (corporations)."
DO ALL BRITS THINK THIS WAY
NO
FOR EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW I AM THINKING "CRANK IS A FAG"

 

by Benco
11-16-03
why can't I squeeze your nuts
they'll hurt
i thought your balls didn't work
THE FACT THAT THEY DON'T WORK DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN KICK THEM AND HAVE THEM NOT HURT
CRANK I DIDN'T SAY THAT
I'M JUST SUGGESTING THAT MAYBE A FORCEFUL BLOW TO YOUR COINPURSE MIGHT FIX YOU UP

 

by Benco
11-16-03
hey vgame who can't jizz
crank
yeah, but I thought he had it fixed :/
dsone crank got fixed
maybe that's why he can't nut!

 

by Benco
11-16-03
HAD IT FIXED?
crank are you coming on to me
VGame Crank can't come onto anything

 

by Benco
11-16-03
CRANK WHY DO YOU BOTHER KEEPING YOUR NUTS? GO GET THEM REMOVED
skullie why do you keep yours
because mine can actually impregnate people
do you really think you're ever going to impregnate anyone?
i guess you can donate
but jesus who would take it :(

 

by Benco
11-18-03
THE MODERN ZZTER HAS TO FIT SEVERAL CRITERIA
MALE, FAT, STUPID
NONDESCRIPT YES. BACK IN MY DAY, ZZTERS COULD BE ANYONE, EVEN NIGGERS
Hi.
AND FUNK

 

by Benco
11-18-03
HEE HEE BRITISH PEOPLE: TEA AND CRUMPETS AND SCONES
HEE HEE AMERICANS
FAT FAT FAT
FAT FAT FAT

 

by Benco
11-18-03
THOSE BRITISH PEOPLE WITH THEIR BAD TEETH AND WHATNOT
EURAKARTE PINK FLOYD WERE BRITISH
AND SO ARE ENGLISH MUFFINS
french toast and french fries are not french
PHUNK THEY'RE NOT!
THEY'RE FREEDOM!

 

by Benco
11-18-03
I KNOW ITS SHOCKING FOR AN AMERICAN TO HEAR THERE ARE OTHER LANGUAGES
BUT PLEASE BELIEVE ME, THERE ARE, AND THEY EXIST OUTSIDE OF BABELFISH
I KNOW A LITTLE FRENCH
"JE SUIS UN GRANDE VERT STYLO"
YOU ARE A BIG GREEN PEN?

 

by Benco
11-22-03
HAHA CRANK IS GREGORY REED! G. REED. GREED!
MR GREED
PRESIDENT GREED
what
I KNOW IT'S DODD
OMG PRESIDENT GREED IS IN LINE WITH KEN DODD!

 

by Benco
11-22-03
WHO IS KEN DODD
THE MOST EVIL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE
MR GREED HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO ALLEGATIONS OF MAD RAMPANT GAYSEX WITH MR DODD
http://makeashorterlink.com/?W52512D96 DOES HE MAKE THIS FACE WHEN YOU TOUCH HIM MR GREED?

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