All comics by BobRogers

Profile

 

by BobRogers
9-24-05
Discussion of a new name continues...
You know that Sister Mary is going to be pissed, don't you?
About what? I haven't been giving grief to Catholics. Just Dave and he's an athiest.
I mean about the new name you are thinking about. "Tales from Lake Woebedave?" how Garrison Keillor rip-off can you be?
Hold on BUCKO! I am being CLEVER! it's a parody! It's the ultimate compliment to NPR and Minnesota
She ain't EVEN going to see it that way.
My head hurts.

 

by BobRogers
9-26-05
On a park bench in hell...
Man it is so quiet around here I can hear grass growing
Why IS it so quiet anyhow?
Dave and Bob agreed to a truce.
No KIDDING? i never thought THAT would happen!
Say.. Did HELL just freeze over?

 

by BobRogers
9-27-05
Philosophy 101 at NYU...
The only thing more boring than watching paint dry...
... is watching paint dry in slow motion.
Throwing wet paint on a burning kitchen fire adds excitement to an otherwise dull cartoon.

 

by BobRogers
9-28-05
Concerning "IT."
"IT" is coming
i wanna have to PREPARE for whatever this ""IT"" IS, becase if it has something to do with MY LIFE , I SURE AS DAMN WELL wanna be PREPAIRD for whatever ""IT" is
"IT" is coming
A) I HATE SUPRISES B) if it is LIFE THREATING , I sure as hell i want to prepare for OCT6th
So Dave is worried about "IT?"
In a HUNDRED YEARS I couldn't make up stuff like this.

 

by BobRogers
9-29-05
On the sidewalk in front of the Jaycees Haunted House
So... Bob. What brings you out on this dark and stormy night?
I dunno. I guess I am just a little restless.
Tell me what's on your mind. Maybe I can help.
Well, as you know, "IT" is scheduled to arrive on the 6th. But my insurance guy said I need to be really careful about turning "IT" loose around Dave.
Meanwhile Dave's been erasing people's messages off the new message board.
I'll KILL him!

 

by BobRogers
10-01-05
The ghost of DSP is all riled up...
Arrgggghhhhhhhhhh
You're wasting your time you know.
Huh? Why?
First, because that message board doesn't exist any more. Second, bcause you don't intimidate me a all. And third, because I am not here, I am on vacation.
Then what?
... and then he says. "I'm a figment of your imagination. Go yell at Bob." Something fishy is going on here.

 

by BobRogers
10-03-05
Bob's secretary has been reading the mail aloud. Bob has been typing the answers.
Dear Bob. My sister is 15 and has been hanging out on AIM with Dave. What should I do? Signed, Anxious
Dear Anxious. Except for being rude, crude and socially unaccept- able, Dave is harmless. Your sister will get more intellectual stimulation at the dog pound. Take her there and show her around.
Dear Bob. I took my sister to the dog pound, as you suggested and she fell in love with a one-armed dog catcher. They are eloped to Alabama where the marrying age is 14. What should I do?
Photograph the one-armed dog and send it to Ripley's. Take the $5,000 reward and buy a pickup truck. Drive the truck to Alabama and find a wife. Move in with your sister.
Dear Bob. You are an idiot.
I think Dave has hacked the cartoon strip.

 

by BobRogers
10-04-05
Never one to let a gag die, Bob's secretary reads the mail to Bob.
Dear Bob. You are SCUM. Wish you were here in Canada with me so I could call you SCUM. Love, Dave
Dear Dave. Why not confirm Canada's worst fear and MOVE TO CANADA?
Subliminal message in Dave's letter... "Take hammer and nails and get Bob." Must ...KILL ...Bob.
Who knew a crippled geek could move that fast.
Dear Dave. The assassin thing is sooo 2004...

 

by BobRogers
10-04-05
Making friends in a foreign country.
So, you're an American eh?
I hate people who drink beer.
So, you're an American eh?
I hate people who crash planes into tall buildings.
So, you're an American eh?
Actually, I'm from Finland.

 

by BobRogers
10-07-05
Welcome Squirrelbacon...
So you are Squirrelbacon, eh? I have heard a lot about you.
All good stuff I hope.
I heard you are a way above average PHP programmer. That you make your own message boards and that you once hacked Dave's AIM.
I may have had an adventure or two. I'm young.
And they say you banned Dave from your message board once.
Me and 3,000 other board admins.

 

by BobRogers
10-09-05
Well, Dave. you have pissed off half the planet, thrown a three day long psychotic hissy fit. and broken several Federal laws. What are you going to do for an encore?
introducing Psycho-Monkey!
I hadda ask.
I love Bannanas?

 

by BobRogers
10-10-05
Introducing George, a young fellow from Maine who recently wrote a letter saying he would KILL to be in the toon.
So let me understand this. Dave got so PO'd that he morphed into a MONKEY?
Monkey...
And now, as if he didn' have enough problems, YOU are looking for him?
Monkey...
And you are carrying around a 36" machete' while looking for Dave because...
Monkey tried to monkey around with my 15 YO sister...

 

by BobRogers
10-12-05
What happened to the monkey?
I killed it
I am trying to be a better person
You knocked me over dude.
I'm a work in progress.

 

by BobRogers
10-12-05
Nice costume Dave. But Halloween isn't until the last of the month.
How did you know it was me?
Oh GOD. I can't deliver the punch line with a straight face!
You suck, Bob.

 

by BobRogers
10-13-05
Bob is summoned to Hell...
This is all your fault Bob. It's a train wreck.Dave is being a well behaved person. It is a disaster for Evil.
And this is my problem how?
You are sitting in a wheelchair in Hell. Does that give you any hints?
So what do you want me to do about it?
I want you to torture him and make hm angry and turn him into the old Dave, the one we demons love and cherish.
It'll be a cold day in hell... Oh wait. Bad analogy

 

by BobRogers
10-14-05
Satan is a master salesman...
So I hear from my Demon that you are refusing to cooperate with Evil by tricking dave into tantrums and ill-temper.
Um, well, yes. I am offering some resistance. That's true.
So what will it take to get you throw us a bone here?
You have the dynamics confused, oh Ultimate Evil One. I am an observer, not a facilitator.
And http://lorettas world.info? Are you saying that's a passive web site?
Well, I did pull some of the fangs out of it.

 

by BobRogers
10-15-05
In Hell...
I'm going to give you some time to think all this over. We want Dave to be evil. nice Dave doesn't getter done.
But don't the rules specify that I have free will?
Yep that's true. But remember that I am allowed to torment you.
Sure. But you can't kill me, so what can you do?
How about making you the only bat on a deserted island?
This is HARASSMENT, I tell YA!

 

Ladder 51 to Battalion Chief. I think we're going to need more water.
by BobRogers, 10-18-05

 

by BobRogers
10-19-05
Got a letter for you Dave
Who would send a letter to me?
I dunno but there's a dollar postage due
NO WAY am I gonna pay a dollar for that letter! Probably from Capital One or somebody.
Take the letter Dave!
A LETTER! What A BIG Surprise. Got change for a five?

 

by BobRogers
10-20-05
You got a letter from Bob today?
Yep. Wants rescuing. Says he's trapped on an island in the South Pacific. Satan turned him into a bat and sent him there.
He say why?
Something about Good VS Evil. I didn't pay much attention to it.
So what are you going to do about it?
I might write about it in my blog.

 

by BobRogers
10-20-05
This is stupid.
There are no bats in the South Pacific. This is all Satan's fault, imprisoning me here.
What are you in for?

 

Wear the RED shirt, she told me this morning. You look GREAT in red she said.
by BobRogers, 10-20-05

 

by BobRogers
10-21-05
Sister Mary visits Hell...
I am looking for Bob
You just missed him. I don't know where he went.
Don't lie to me. I KNOW what you did.
What? You couldn't POSSIBLY know that?
I'm from the Midwest you know...
OK you got me. I suppose you want me to change him back, right?

 

by BobRogers
10-23-05
At the park, later...
So, did you find Bob?
Yep. He should be home any time now.
Dude. Crash landing.
I was a bat on an island in the pacific.
Bummer.
I need an aspirin.

 

by BobRogers
10-24-05
That's an odd sound.
Live long and prosper, Earth Man
Three blocks down and two to the right. It says "Convention Center" on the front.
Thanks...
Third one today.

 

by BobRogers
10-26-05
introducing... A lady Dave knows well...
Allimarie! Who said you could be in my cartoon? Strip?
Who died and put YOU in charge?
Look at the name on the HEADER! It says my name!
Now look here - in the panels. Here I STAND!
I am sending a letter of protest. You are NOT supposed to be here.
... and another thing . . . Why don't you ever call?

 

by BobRogers
10-27-05
People are stirring in PLVY...
What's up with you and Dave?
There IS no me and Dave. There is only ME! I'll grind his bones to make my bread!
Listen man. You GOTTA kill that Goth chick Allimarie off RIGHT AWAY! She is pure evil. EVIL, I tell ya!
Did you just feel a disturbance in the force?
I'll disturb his FORCE!

 

by BobRogers
10-27-05
At Dave's house...
I hear you've been writing about me in your blog and telling people I smoke weed.
Go away Matt. I don't HAVE a brother and you're not him.
?
God. I been living at home too long. What he said actually made sense to me. I need some herb.

 

by BobRogers
10-27-05
Say, you're Dave's brother aren't you?
Not according to him I'm not.
Dude. I read about you in Dave's blog. Bummer that your own brother narcs you to 8 billion people.
Not much can be done about it though. I'm not very technical. Dave's the technology geek in the family.
{choking on the straight line}
I gotta jet, man. A friend of mine has some sweet Super Gold Thai. Only $120 an ounce

 

by BobRogers
10-27-05
Busy park these days...
Say, you haven't seen Dave's brother around have you?
You know, Mr. Cartoonist, you are pushing this gag way beyond the realm of humor.
OK. I get it.
Say, you haven't seen Dave's brother around have you?
He went thataway. If you hurry you can catch him...I mean catch up to him Mr. Undercover Detective, sir.

 

by BobRogers
10-28-05
On-line braggadocio has its drawbacks
... and that was when I killed the Easter Bunny...
Ahem.

 

by BobRogers
10-28-05
In the Park, J Gargoyle ponders the meaning of life...
It's wabbit season. I'm going to bwast a wabbit.
Right over there George. Behind those bushes.
I'm going home to become a vegetawian
How did I know that was going to happen?

 

by BobRogers
10-30-05
Dave is upset.
Man, I PROTEST! Some gomer in a pink rabbit suit KILLED me a couple of strips ago!
Fortunately for you there us no death in the cartoon version of PLVY.
That's not the point. He CHOPPED me into a SPLAT!
And yet here you stand. So what's the problem
He's Stalking meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
What?

 

by BobRogers
10-30-05
Halloween in PLVY
I'm telling Mom

 

by BobRogers
10-30-05
Later that evening, near the Haunted house...
Trick Or Treat!
Got no candy Dave, Dude. I just came out here to get away from all that.
Just once I'd like to get some attention paid to me...
Let me rephrase that

 

by BobRogers
10-30-05
What. Dave, you went home and changed costumes?
Damn skippy I did. Got tired of getting splatted. Now I GOT THE AXE!
Now for some serious candy collecting. Hey TREKKIE! Trick or...
Now Scottie.
Let's see how you like the brig, bitch.

 

by BobRogers
11-01-05
So how did Halloween go?
Had 30 trick or treaters come by my house for goodies.
That's a pretty good number. gave away lots of candy, did you?
Nah. killed 29 of the little beggers.
What happened to the last one?
Got beamed up on some Trekkie starship. But I'm expecting him back most any time now.

 

by BobRogers
11-01-05
Comes the beamdown...

 

by BobRogers
11-01-05
The park is a blur of motion...
Why is everybody in such a hurry today?
It's complicated.
Forget I asked.

 

by BobRogers
11-02-05
The great debate...
Is this the very last cartoon in this series?
You know you like doing these cartoons.
It is # 350, after all. There is plenty of reason not to go on. I could just stop making cartoons altogether and poke fun at some other soul out there in Internet land
It's not that much work you know.
You might get discovered by Steve Jobs and hired on at Pixar.
Nah. Maybe I will take it to 400. Nice number, is 400.

 

by BobRogers
11-03-05
Man, don't you know that halloween's over?
This is not a costume. I really look like this.
Seriously?
Like YEAH! I'm a true blue troublemaker, an original trenchcoat mafioso. Gonna burn down the school.
OW!
Starting with you, you unbeliever you.

 

by BobRogers
11-03-05
Everybody recognizes the lawyer, right?
Bob, I am an attorney with the lawfirm of Oui, Gettum and Soon, a multiethnic practice.
Ok. But what do you want me for? I have all races, ethnicities and sexual preference groups stereotyped equally here.
That's not the problem, I'm afraid. You are being sued by a "Dave Doe." He's an anonymous resident of the town of Pleasant Valley.
Dave Doe?
He says you illegally changed the name of this cartoon strip. He's asking for 1 million bucks.
Wow. Two strips into a new series and there's already trouble in River City.

 

by BobRogers
11-03-05
"Dave Doe," like so many Plvyians, can be found in the park.
Dave, I don't understand. WHY are you suing me? I thought you WANTED the "Message Board Dave" series to end.
That was before Joel Tyner started reading your blog.
Tyner? What does a small time county politician have to do with anything?
He's in GOVERNMENT. And he pays attention to me! Plus he's making you famous!
So why are you suing me?
I hate it when things change.

 

by BobRogers
11-05-05
Life in the park goes on...
Dude, what happened to you?
Some Goth 8th grader went Pyro on me.
Man, that sucks. I'll go see if I can find some help.
Boy, what's your deal? You can't just go around burning people to the ground. It ain't ethical.
Boy?

 

by BobRogers
11-05-05
Bob, you gotta be kidding.
Naw. I'm serious. He says, "I'll show you a BOY!" Next thing I know, Flame On.
You know somebody's going to have to do something about that little dweeb
Yeah, but who do we kow who can withstand pyrokenesis?
Dave.
Dave

 

by BobRogers
11-05-05
You can't burn Bob to a crisp because I'm suing him. And you can't burn up J. Gargoyle because his job of plot exposition is too important.
What did you just say?
You mean about plot exposition? HA! You don't know you are a cartoon character do ya?
It's a LIE! I'm a REAL BOY! PLVY is a REAL PLACE! I will burn you to a CRISPY CRITTER!
Some days you're the firestarter and some days you're the fire.
OW.

 

by BobRogers
11-05-05
Dave catches DR H., his counselor, in the hallway of the PLVY Institute for Calm and Rational Thinking...
I TELL ya, Dr. H. It's been a hectic day!
Tell me all about it mine poy.
Well, I am suing Bob because he changed the name of the comic strip to "Pleasant Valley Follies" So now I am not a star...
Yes, Yes. Continue.
Then I set fire to this GOTH kid because he was setting fire to my friends.
Dots EXCELLENT progress Mine Poy. I see you on TUESDAY, YA?

 

by BobRogers
11-05-05
As the tide reaches its peak...
Whoa whoa whoa! Wait a minute there Mr. Cartoonist. Plvy is 2311 feet above sea level!
Yeah. So what exactly tide are you talking about that would be covering the park?
After a sudden hellacious RAINSTORM left over from some HURRICANE...
That's a little better, far more plausible than a 2500 foot tidal wave...
Yeah. You need to watch your FACTS! Other peeps besides Dave read this strip you know.
Meanwhile, downtown, near the pizza parlor...
Do a CAMEO, my agent said. You can use the EXPOSURE, my agent said...
You think you got problems. How would you like to be a pile of floating ashes in a flash flood?

 

by BobRogers
11-06-05
At the movie theater for a matinee performance of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" ...
You better not mess with me. I rule.
How do you figure that?
I have the power of psychokenesis. I can turn you into a ball of flame ten feet tall.
Not if you are a duck you can't.
What? A duck? Whaddya mean a duck?
Check a mirror, Duck Boy. The Davemiester Commands all evil! Muahaw haw!

 

by BobRogers
11-06-05
Feels good to not be ashes anymore
Know what you mean. That did not turn out the way I expected it would. Dave turned that goth kid into a duck.
I wouldn't want to be Dave though. That kid is Allimarie's little brother. And here she comes.
I just remembered, I have a rock to climb, or a plane to fly or some damn thing. Later!
Have you seen my brother around here?
What a revolting development this is.

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »