All comics by Buttonman

Profile

 

by Buttonman
10-27-07
Twas the month before Christmas ...
I am going to dog Buttonman forever.
HEY, Jackass, leave MY species out of your Drama Queen whining.
YOU need to quit worrying about Buttonman and start worrying about getting some money made.
I do OK at the flea market. Christmas is coming and somebody should be buying my stuff.
I got ex-booker Wilson's present ready Santa. It's the usual.
40 lumps of coal again. I woinder what he does with all that coal? He doesn't have a stove to burn it in.

 

by Buttonman
10-27-07
An elf meets with Santa ...
Santa, I am afraid I have some bad news.
Don't tell me. Another grinch wants to cancel Christms?
Worse than that. He wants you to delay Christmas until January 25th so that he can have more time to sell stuff in the flea market.
That's the dumbest thing I've heard this year.
He says the Chinese Pocket Knife business is depressed.
I'd be depressed too if I were selling Chinese Pocket Knives in a flea market.

 

by Buttonman
6-05-08
Ultimate Wrestling's show is this coming Saturday.
The Jackson cares NOT about Ultimate Wrestling at the American Leigon Hall on Barrancas Ave in Pensacola on June 7th!
Why is that, oh Humble One?
Because The Jackson is a free and clear Independent Wrestler with no attachments to Ultimate or anyone else!
So you'll be staying home and watching TV instead of being at Ultimate Wrestling on June 7th, while wrestling fans by the hundreds attend the show?
HBO. The Jackson is a class act and does not indulge in mere Broadcast TV!

 

by Buttonman
6-05-08
Erick contemplates Ultimate sportswear...
I want to get a "Brutal Joe Gibson" T Shirt.
Aren't you going to wait for the "Omega" T shirt?
I want to get an "Omega" T shirt too.
That's 30 bucks, sonny, how are you going to get that kind of dough re mi?
Actually, mugging old ladies comes to mind ...
In your dreams, Junior!

 

by Buttonman
6-06-08
You want to go with me to the DSPW show at the Brewton, Alabama National Guard Armory June 7th?
Who all's going to be on the card?
Well, Street Bandit for one. And probably Lil'Bandit as well. Hurricane Dudley, maybe BTY now that his cast is off.
Think they'll have onions on the hot dogs?
Yep. I'm pretty sure of it.
Count me in, Babe.

 

by Buttonman
6-07-08
Wrestlebot Josh McKain discovers on-line instant Messaging and message boards...
I can't take it. A 14 year-oold sent me a mean e-mail. It's YOUR FAULT, Buttonman, you own a message board!
Lessee now. You spend the better part of a year calling me names and now you want me to give a crap about what happens to you? Wow. Your programmer must be a drunk.
Don't badmouth my programmer. YOU never programmed what the *BLEEP* do you know?
I know enough not to blow waste oil all over the people who support the sport I'm programmed for. Apparently that's beyond your scope of thought, Botboy.
My programmer says you are a bad man who does bad stuff behind closed doors. And now look what you have done. You hurt my feelings. I need to go get my hard drive spun. You are evil.
So they tell me, Sissybot. So they tell me.

 

by Buttonman
6-07-08
Josh Mckain and Buttonman's dialog continues
You know, Buttonman. I never liked you.
Your Mom had a different opinion, son.
Don't you TALK about my Mom, you wheelchair riding reject from a circus tent show!
Ahhh. Complete Sentences. That's what i like about you, Harvey. You're a quick study,
Yagggghhhh
By the way, I disconnected your heat overload sensor.

 

by Buttonman
6-21-08
Well, I finished my book today.
Really? What's it about?
Wrestling, of course.
What's so special about YOUR book?
Well, it 's all about wrestling, message boards and what a putz Percy Pringle is for openers...
So it's basically a reiteration of past events with a color cover, photos and extra autograph pages. Sweet.

 

by Buttonman
6-21-08
Like many others before him, Percy Pringle hates his ...
Excuse me for being a LEGEND. I think I am being misportrayed here. Is there someone I can speak with about this?
The Jackson is not involved in this cartoon and He refuses to answer any questions withouit his attorney!
I've got 30 years in the wrestling business who do I have to mug to get some RESPECT AROUND HERE?
No use asking me. I wouldn't respect you if you'd just rescued 37 kittens from a burning house.
But I know people! I am a LEGEND Dammit!
I still love you Percy. But I am legally insane, so I don't know how much it will help.

 

by Buttonman
6-26-08
Kris Knight wants to find a wrestling match...
Hello. My name is Kris Knight and I am a Professional Wrestler.
No you're not.
Yes I am. I was trained by Ric Flair, Triple H, John Cena and Dave Hunter.
I hate to tell you this, but 200 hours of playing wrestling on XBox does not constitute "training."
You are a big party pooper.
It has been mentioned to me in the past.

 

by Buttonman
6-26-08
referee Dennis and Promoter Tom meet to discuss the big up coming wrestling show...
So Dennis, are you ready for the big Wrestling show on Saturdy Night in Wassau, Florida at the Possum Palace?
My striped shirt is in the wash but it should be ready by The Big Day.
Too bad Evergreen McQueen and Chief Little Bear dropped out. No matter though, I have something up my sleeve.
A hook?
Not funny, SENIOR referee.
It will be.

 

by Buttonman
6-26-08
The Pink Donkey From Hell reveals his true identity. He's Percival Pringle III and he thinks he's "special."
Excuuuuuse me for being a LEGEND!
Why? Do you really think that 30 years of playing second bannana to real wrestlers qualifies you as anything but a lump?
I'll have you to know that I know everyone in professional Wrestling from Vince McMahon to the Janitor at Madison Square gardens. I'm a legend, dammit!
In your own mind, maybe. You are a joke. A running gag. You don't see Lou Albano running around crying "I'm a legend! Gotta Love me," do ya?
You're still mad because just for spite I destroyed your property and got an entire promotion kicked out of their arena, all while drunk on my ass.
Damn skippy I am. I hate having to deal with drunks. Give Bill W. a call. Then talk to me about being a "legend."

 

by Buttonman
6-27-08
I am the Ghost of Pro Wrestling Past. I am haunting you because you are ruining wrestling with your message boards!
How do you figure that?
Smart Marks post messages to each other that disrespecting wrestlers and each other. It looks bad.
Worse than you screaming at me about how evil I am?
Uh, well, I suppose not. No, wait. I am a GHOST. That's my job
Well, I'm a COMPUTER GUY who loves wrestling. That's my job. Now amscray.

 

by Buttonman
7-01-08
Chris Knight lobbies for a spot on the GAWF Roster...
I spent nearly 8 years at having to set an the back of the SPW locker room... waiting for my shot at getting a chance to wrestle.
In 8 years you never got a match? That's gotta be a record.
So what do you say? Book me?
Hmm. Let the untrained kid wrestle, incur the wrath of the whole locker room? Ahhh, no.
My daddy says, don't be sad. Lots of wrestlers don't get to come to GAWF. Just look at DJ Pringle...
You aren't making me feel better, kid.

 

by Buttonman
7-02-08
There is a Kris Knight wrestling in Melborne but our boy is in Defuniak ...
You know, all this fuss about Kris Knight has got me thinking...
Danger Will Robinson...
Why hasn't anyone given him a chance to wrestle in a show?
Because he actually really seriously for a fact hasn't been trained?
Yeah. What you said.
Then again, what do I know? I'm a talking squirrel.

 

by Buttonman
7-02-08
Evil Leather Guy, Professional Wrestler offers Kris a chance...
I'm going to make your dream come true and wrestle you.
Orgasm!
Alas, Poor Kris. I knew him well.

 

by Buttonman
7-02-08
Kris Knight is pissed at you Bob.
Which one and what for?
The one from Defuniak, and for matching him up to be slaughtered by Evil Leather Guy.
But he said he wanted to wrestle...
I am pretty sure he meant in an arena against a non-insane opponant for pay.
That's just a technicality. Nobody gets paid to be in this cartoon.

 

by Buttonman
7-04-08
I can't believe it's July 4th already. Where has the year gone?
My daddy says it's been a good year for wrestling. He says that everybody loves the GAWF.
The best part of July 4th is that WWE is coming to Pensacola on July 6th.
Let's not forget that ULTIMATE has an event in pensacola on July 5th!
Thanks Spiderman for that run-in...
if you don't mention Dirty South Pro Wrestling in Brewton on July 5th I will cut your shoelaces, kid.

 

by Buttonman
7-05-08
I am at a complete loss. I can't get anyone to take me seriously as a Professional Wrestler.
I know a pretty good trainer. Would that help?
Absolutely!
Ok then. I'll set up an appointment for you.
Say hello to my little whip.
The urge to run away

 

by Buttonman
7-06-08
Meaningful dialog on the GAWF Message Board...
You should try being nicer to people, Bob. Your sharpness is easily mistaken for aggression.
Yo know, you'r right. I can be a #### sometimes. I guess Mr. 64 has made me too cynical.
Another thing... do you HAVE to make a cartoon every time someone drops you a note? I hate this character.
Well, you folks on the message boards are my inspiration. i could be nicer though, as I have said before.
On the other hand, this character has accessories I find acceptable. DUCK, YOU SUCKER and RUN!!

 

by Buttonman
7-08-08
Chad adds his 2 cents worth to the mix...
YOU pose a DANGEROUS THREAT to yourself and others.
That's ridiculous. I am a Clean-Cut All American boy with a slight delusional exclusion.
Delusional exclusion? Isn't that a fancy way of saying you have slipped the bonds of reality?
I'm a wrestling fan. I do that all the time, especially when there are no onions for the hot dogs.
Later at GAWF Headquarters...
My daddy says the author of this cartoon needs to be institutionalized.
Your daddy is a sensitive man, kid.

 

by Buttonman
7-08-08
I like the silky feel against my buttocks I can only obtain wearing women's underwear. Professional wrestling is fake.
Agggggggggggg
Whatup?
Run away! Run away!
This cartoon strip is too weird even for me...
Been saying that for a while, but nobody listens.

 

by Buttonman
7-10-08
Enter a new playa...
My name is CHAD and I am a defender of Pro Wrestling!
Dear Lord. Not another one.
Kris Knight has offended almost everyone in the wrestling business including EVERYONE!
I always thought that as shameless as the wrestling business is, nobody could offend it.
Who as you to get involved and who made you apokes- person for wrestling?
Actually, the cartoonist did. He thinks I am lovable and philosophical.

 

by Buttonman
7-18-08
So who is the Florida Wrestling Guild anyhow?
Ahhhh. You've been reading the message boards again. That stuff'll rot your brain.
Reiterating... who is the Florida Wrestling Guild and why is somebody busting your beans about it?
Simple. FWG was a promotion group out of Tallahassee that used to run some shows. I heard they were OK.
What? No glowing review?
Ahhhcch. Who cares. They either disbanded or stopped advertising or some dagone thing.

 

by Buttonman
7-18-08
FWG is still running and has the best show in northern florida.
How can you compare it to GAWF. Lets look at it GAWF has the BEST building, BEST Light show, Uses the BEST Talent, and draws the BEST crowd than ANY show on the Gulf Coast.
It's real simple. If you don't admit that FWG is the best I will slap the ugly right off your face.
I want you to come on and try if you think you can. And just for that, FWG means "Fags Wearing Girdels"
You are SOOOO asking for a beatdown!
Think you can catch me? I'm buying tickets to GAWF and you can't do anything about it, byatch.

 

by Buttonman
8-12-08
Kris Knight ties Culture Shock Wrestling on for comfort...
I want to wrestle hard core at CSW. It looks easy.
Ok. I admit that first match may have been... (choke) ... a little violent

 

by Buttonman
8-14-08
My Daddy says you are not allowed to post any pictures of Bull Buchanan on the GAWF Message Board!
Why not?
Because MY DADDY SAYS SO and that's a good enough reason!
It's a good enough reason to immediately post 200 pictures of Bull Buchanan.
My Daddy says I must use my pyrokenetic powers with caution.

 

by Buttonman
8-21-08
The Law catches up with Kris Knight...
I'm under ARREST? Why am I under ARREST?
State Code, Volume 3 ,Page 231, paragraph 2. Impersonating a professional wrestler.
Will I be going to :GULP: JAIL?
Fraid so. You'll be in the same cell as Evil Leather Guy, the professional Wrestler
What are you in for?
Impersonating a heterosexual.

 

by Buttonman
8-25-08
I want to know who's in charge of this insane assylum!
That would be Bob. I'll get him for you
Listen, Bucko. I am WWE's MR FANTASY! i am EVEY WOMAN'S DREAM! I am handsome and strong and A Championship belt holder wherever I go!
So what's the problem?
Just LOOK AT ME!" I have the BIGGEST MOUTH in the whole stupid cartoon!
True dat.

 

by Buttonman
8-25-08
I'm here today talking with ...
I am The Jackson, Professional Wrestler and I am announcing my candidacy for President ...
You mean President of Wrestling ?
Nooooo! President of the WHOLE USA!
You mean like, Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces of the USA? Head honcho of the COUNTRY?
Sargent Slaughter Had better watch out , and General Payne as well, I'm telling ya!

 

by Buttonman
8-28-08
From our "announcements on message boards" department...
ECWA HAS SUSPENDED ALL ACTIVITIES UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE...
But I was just getting going good on the next show tenetively scheduled for October
Well , I'm putting that on the shelf while I help prepare for a disaster.
Um... We're not talking about wrestling, are we?
Oh, GO SWAB A DECK!
A straight line is a terrible thing to waste.

 

by Buttonman
8-30-08
Wherever wrestling fans congregate, discussion follows...
Kory Jackson isn't working, CzR is gone. Red Anderson has departed for parts unknown and John Saxon is nowhere to be found.
Yeah . Next thing you know the tag team of DJ Pringle and Josh Mckain will win a championship. How bad would THAT suck?
That would be an exercise in mediocrity. But what can we do? We are mere FANS. We can't influence the powers that be to provide quality stars. Big deal wrestlers cost a fortune!
What about WWE's own Mr. Fantasy? Or Ultimate's "The Legends" Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson? Or Terry Ryker VS Buff Bagwell at SPW? Or Adrian Street in Chipley?
Ummm. What seems to be the problem Officer?
I'm writing you all a ticket for thinking without a license.

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-04-08
SPW has Buff Bagwell this weekend...
And so does GAWF.
Exotic Adrian Street will be in Chipley...
And Ultimate Wrestling is always fun. I LOVE Gargoyle abd Bobby Doll and Robert Gibson!
CzR will be at DSPW in Brewton, Alabama!
I'm on my way! He wrestles with NO Shirt!

 

by Buttonman
9-07-08
Some days are bettter than others for Kris Knight ...
I really don't want to be in this cartoon. It makes my eyes water. Say, who are you and where's the rest of you?
My name is Shizzle Phrenia. I am one of the voices in your head, specifically, the one who's urging you to be a wrestler.
Well, while I can see you too, why doesn't anyone like me? I'm affible. All I want to do is be killed by Jon Ryker in a ring in Mossy head.
Truth be: people are a little leery of the walking insane. How many folks have suggested you buy a ticket instead of cutting unauthorized promos? Be a FAN, not a PROBLEM.
But I thought you WANTED me to be a pro wrestler. You talk about it in my head all the time. It was you who told me Ric Flair trained me when I didn't remember.
Listen, kid. I am a figment of your imagination. What do I know?

 

by Buttonman
9-10-08
I'm here with Billy T. Goat, newest addition to the American Wrestling Federation stable. So Billy, what was it like to kiss WDHN Personilty Ken Curtis ?
I feel kinda GRATEFUL if you want the truth of it, all gender issues aside.
Grateful?
Yeah. Sure. think about it. Would YOU like to kiss Dirty Larry Brock on the lips?
Point taken.
I Dodged a bullet last Saturday night.

 

by Buttonman
9-11-08
Kris Knight is miffed about Billy The Kid.
This is stupid. A GOAT can get booked on a wrestling show, so why not me?
You mean Billy The Kid?
Yeah. Like totally. What's he got that I don't?
He's better looking. He has a better gimmick. And, he's better trained than you are, no ifs ands or butts about it.
WHAT? What do you mean by "better trained?"
You're not trained at all, wheras BILLY was trained by Street Bandit and Short Bandit.

 

by Buttonman
9-12-08
Kris Knight loses his virginity as a cartoonist.
So. I take it you saw my cartoon?
Yeah. It was OK. Kinda lame, but not as lame as most people would do.
What do you mean?
Well, you drew me as a goat. I realize you frequently hallucinate, but everybody knows I'm FAT. Try for some realism. Get trained.
I'll have you know, I was trained by that Doonsbury guy, what's-his-name.
Whatever gets you through the day, Albert.

 

by Buttonman
9-14-08
Ring ring.
Hello, this is Kris Knight.
This is Vince McMahon at WWE Headquarters. We want you for Smackdown. Congratu...
I HATE IT when their heads explode like that. :Click:

 

by Buttonman
9-15-08
... and the message boards are humming a nasty tune...
My Daddy says that the ECWA Promoter isn't gay.
What does "gay" mean?
"Gay" means "happy" in mid- 20th Century English.
My Daddy says that the ECWA Promoter isn't happy.
Captain Obvious strikes again.

 

by Buttonman
9-16-08
Fabian and Evil Leather Guy talk lists.
I hear you made the top ten list of "worst wrestlers" on the Florida Panhandle.
I don't let stuff like that bother me. I am better than that. By the way, I heard YOU made the list too.
%#$^% #&$^ %% *&^$ message boards
See. That's what I'm talking about. You let people get to you when you should be ignoring their comments.
I heard you also made the list of top 10 worst movie extras.
The bastards. I will kill them all!

Showing page 8.

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