All comics by DexX

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by DexX
1-22-02
Come on, we have to keep this one. Look, he's a cute little ceramic teddy bear in a sun hat!
Yeah, he is pretty cute.
...and he has little patches on his feet! Isn't that cute!
...and a cob of corn his his lap... uh... Is it just me or does he look like he has a penis in the shape of a cob of corn?
Cool! He'll match the teapot in the shape of a house!
Right, now you're in trouble...

 

by DexX
1-22-02
After fifteen minutes on hold...
...and to think, I used to like Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons"...
*diddle de diddle de diddle da diddle de diddle de diddle da diddle de diddle de diddle da duddle du duddle du duddle du...*
*sigh*
*diddle de diddle de diddle da diddle de-* Thank you for waiting. Your call will be answered by the next available operator. *-dle de diddle de diddle de diddle*
Like fuck it will. What kind of telephone company never answers the fucking phone?
*diddle de diddle de diddle da diddle de diddle de diddle da diddle de diddle de diddle da duddle du duddle du duddle du...*

 

by DexX
1-22-02
After yesterday's debacle in the Northland branch of Optus, where they wouldn't give Quentin a new mobile phone because he didn't have enough ID for their requirements, we_set_off_this_morning...
First_we_had_to_go_to_the Blind Citizens of Australia to get that photo ID thing. Traffic was shit and it turns out they don't have a passport photo camera, so we had to go find a chemist...
We_waited_around_for_ages for the card, and when we got back to the car, I saw that one of the headlights had simply fallen out. I managed to get it vaguely wedged back in, and set off to the city...
St_Kilda_Road_was_a_fucking nightmare, as always. When we finally reached the CBD, we found an Optus World and found a one hour park, or so I thought. Went to Optus... No luck!
My wife is a saint...
Here's your tea - chicken and vegetable stir fry with fat udon noodles. Your favourite, sweetie.
Found_out_they_don't_do cable internet connections in-store - only over the phone. After Quentin got his phone, we got back to the car... it was a fucking loading zone. $100 ticket...

 

by DexX
1-22-02
Oookaaayyy... Fourth bedroom is... 350cm by 290cm...
Corel DRAW - NewHouse.cdr
I don't know why you're bothering with that. Surely it would just be easier to move stuff around when we move it in...
Not really. We can do this, get a good idea of how much space everything will take up, without having to shift any heavy furniture.
...not to mention that it's the blokes who do the hevy lifting...
*bleep!* You are so lucky you didn't say that out loud.

 

by DexX
1-22-02
Doctor Jones, I, uh... I have this nasty pain in my rear end, and... uh... well...
Okay then, Nate, just bend over and let me have a look.
See, I posted this thread on the SC.com general discussion forum, and LadyJ said it was in the wrong place...
Let's have a look here... What the... Oh my god...
I got a bit angry at her, and said, "Well, LadyJ, why don't you tell me where you think I should put it!"
Nurse! Forceps!

 

by DexX
1-22-02
Wow, I am really impressed. I thought you'd use cheap, nasty meat for your barbecue, but that smells pretty good!
Mate, even broke medical students can eat well if they know where to shop. Pancreas is nearly done.
Did you say...? Oh no... you didn't... not the morgue? Please tell me...
Now what on earth makes you think that my role as assistant mortuary attendant could possibly be related to the meat on this hot-plate?
Don't look at the skeleton when you answer that.

 

by DexX
1-23-02
Quentin, how about this odd little glass bowl. Looks like a dessert bowl or something. Can we donate this to charity?
No! That's the bowl I used to keep my cactus in!
The cactus that diead five years ago, you mean?
Yeah, that one.
So... we keep the bowl and buy you a new cactus?
Exactly.

 

by DexX
1-23-02
What did the phone company say?
The credit check was no problem, but they're really busy at the moment. They can't come around and hook up the optical cable until the 8th.
A week after we move in? Damn! Oh well, it'll be a pain coping without a phone for that long, but I suppose there's nothing we'll just have to rely on mobiles.
James, listen carefully - no phone line for a week. No internet for a week.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

by DexX
1-24-02
So, tell me... Why are you all so unpopular, anyway?
Don't ask me - I've always been the butt of jokes.
At school, everyone called me a dickhead.
It gets me so blue, I have to find somewhere quiet to drown my sorrows.
I only ever seem to meet arseholes.
I wanted to be a star, made it big in tinsel town, but I couldn't hold a candle to the other talent in town.
Hey, I don't care. It's no big deal if people look right through me. It's no skin off my nose.

 

by DexX
1-25-02
Don't you worry, Cindy. I am your _real_ fairy godmother, and I will make you up so beautifully that you will be the hottest chick at the dance!
Really? Kick arse!
First we need to fix your hair... let's try some kind of braid... perfect! Now, that dress... The colour is good on you, but... Here, try on this lovely square-necked frock... Good!
Now, about your makeup... Your natural coloration is lovely, but we need to accentuate those eyebrows of yours. This mascara will make your eyes look big and beautiful, too.
Now, a bit of lip gloss to fatten up that lower lip of yours into a sexy pout and you're done. Perfect!
I don't feel all that different, to be honest...

 

by DexX
1-25-02
Hey Boo-Boo, have you seen- HEY!
Oh shit.
My last potato! ...and you've stuck bits of plastic in him! You thieving bastard!
It's my Mister Potato Head! He's my only friend, and I love so very much. Look, I found some old peppermints for his eyes, and...
Oh... I see... Only friend, eh? Well, we can't have him being injured by the radiation levels. I'll just put him in this protective suit...
Drop the aluminium foil, punk!

 

by DexX
1-26-02
Tum-te-tum...
La-da-dee...
BZZZT!! "Hey, what happened to the lights?" "What are you do-" *smooch!* "Hey! Get off!" *slobber* "Don't!" *SLAP!* "Ow!" "Leave me alone!"
BZZZT!!
Oh, come on, you sexy thing! Just one little smooch!
I'm not that kind of boy! *sob!*

 

by DexX
2-28-02
Haaallo folks! How's yer old dad, den? Winds light to variable. Fine fine fine.
Eccles! What is the meaning of this interruption? I'm right in the middle of shampooing my goldfish. Close the door or the poor thing will catch a cold!
Hello my Captain! Thinks... It is sad that Mister Milligan is gone. Thinks... I can't think of any more thinks... Un-thinks.
What- what- what is going on with all this noise? My little ladt friend Minnie Bannister is in bed with the lurgi! Close the door or the lurgi will escape!
Here, have a rotor turbine.
No thanks - I'm trying to give them up.

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Frodo, I have terrible news. That magical ring, your uncle's old ring... it is The One Ring, forged by Sauron! We must destroy it!
You're saying that it diesn't just make you invisible, but it also endows great power upon the wearer?
*fzzt!*
Well, yes... But it is a source of great evil, and it... Hey!
To think, all this time I was just using it to spy on naked women, and I could have been conquering Middle Earth!
Decades later...
Master, one of your subjects refuses to eat his third helping of dessert!
You know the punishment for that! Fetch... The Plunger of Enforced Gorging!

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Oi! Galadriel! Since I am now the supreme ruler of Middle Earth, I can have any chick I want! Yeah, that means you!
Ah Elbereth Gilthoniel!
Much much later...
Please, Frodo, take this baby back to The Shire with you. Having him around here makes me feel all icky.
No worries. This forest was boring the shit outta the boy and me anyway. Seeya, sweet cheeks.
He proved to be a popular child...
Here ya go, kid - this Elven weed shits all over that Shire pipeweed. One cone of this and you'll be in the Undying Lands.
I'll take five pouches full!

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Welcome to the set of Big Brad, the reality TV game show in which one contestant will spontaneously combust every day until only one remains.
Okay... uh, how do we vote for the one to get immolated?
AAAARGH!!!
Vote? Ha! You think this is a democracy?

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Ow... I don't suppose there is any chance we could change the rules of Big Brad, is there?
Why is that? What would you like to change?
Well, this whole "people spontaneously and arbitrarily bursting into flames thing" doesn't sit well with me.
Oh, I see...
AAARRGH!!!
That's a shame.

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Introducing: the cast of Big Brad...
Agh! It burns!
The pain! The pain!
For the love of God! Someone put me out!
It hurts, mummy, it hurts!
When will this agony stop?
Look, I pay for the bandwidth and maintain the site. I should be allowed to have some fun now and then.

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Okay, KKP, here is your first task. You need to belch "Land of Hope and Glory" in its entirety... without spontaneously combusting.
All right then, I'll have a go...
*ahem* BRUUUURP!!
ARGH!!!
Oh dear, KKP - it looks like you failed the task. As a penalty, the whole team will have to spontaneously combust one extra time tomorrow.
God, I love this game...

 

by DexX
3-01-02
How are the show's ratings going, Brad?
Not so well. For the first few episodes, the ratings were huge, but now it seems that people are getting bored with us.
I'm not surprised. All this spontaneous combustion is a bit repetitive. People need some variety.
Hmmm... perhaps you're right...
ARGH!
Thanks Gabe.

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Ha! This is going to be so cool! We're going to get Brad back SO bad...
Okay, you've got the firecrackers and the propane cylinder there, right? I've got the jerry can of petrol and the keg of gunpowder.
I'm really going to enjoy this. He's already set me on fire three times today!
Yeah, me too. Let's go get him!
*ahem*
Shit.

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Well, I've been caught by a guy with pyrokinetic powers, carrying a load of explosives meant to blow him up. Obviously, I'm a dead man.
That seems the only logical outcome of this cartoon.
Happy birthday!

 

by DexX
3-01-02
Happy birthday!
Wow... you mean... you're not going to set me on fire?
No! Seriously, happy birthday.
I wonder if I should tell him it isn't my...
Now blow out your fucking candles.
AAARGH!!!

 

by DexX
3-05-02
aardvark: an animal that eats ants. It lives in South Africa.
ant-eater: an animal that eats ants. It lives in South America.
ant: an animal that gets eaten by everybody. It lives wherever it can manage to.

 

by DexX
3-05-02
aardvark: an animal that eats ants. It lives in South Africa.
ant: an animal that gets eaten by everybody. It lives wherever it can manage to.
antelope: an animal that does not eat ants, unless drunk or for a bet.

 

by DexX
3-07-02
I've finally concocted a way to make a living through my talent for unbearable puns.
Really? Details, please.
Well, it seems that every time I make a pun, everyone who hears it groans, "Fark!" I was thinking of turning this into a kind of funfair.
I know I am going to regret asking, but what will you call it?
The Pun-Fark Funpark, of course.
FAAARK!

 

by DexX
3-07-02
So I says to him, "Those rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Did he think gravitons were made by magic elves?
Ha ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?
Without turbines you go without.

 

by DexX
3-15-02
Come on you grunts! You wanna live forever!?!? Grunts? Hellooo...? Oh, shit...

 

by DexX
3-15-02

 

by DexX
3-15-02
BRRRIIINNNNGGGG-BRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!! ... BRRRIIINNNNGGGG-BRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!! ... BRRRIIINNNNGGGG-BRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!! ... BRRRIIINNNNGGGG-BRRRIIINNNNGGGG!!! ...
*sigh* I get so lonely sometimes... Going out for these long walks just doesn't seem to help any more... Why didn't that casting agent call back?
Sorry boss - he isn't answering the phone. I've been calling for hours.
Oh well, we'll just have to give the role to someone else. Poor bastard - this is the kind of role that could have launched his career...

 

by DexX
3-15-02
*snore*
*THUMP!*
*sngt* Huh? Whuh?
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
What the hell is happening on the other side of this wall?

 

by DexX
3-15-02
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Who the hell is making that racket? Ah well, I'll just ignore it and go back to sleep.
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUD!* *crash!* *THUMP!* *smash-tinkle!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *KER-WHUMP!*
GRRR!!!

 

by DexX
3-15-02
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
COULD WHOEVER IS MAKING ALL THE BLOODY NOISE KEEP IT DOWN PLEASE!?!?
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
HELLO???
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Right. That does it.

 

by DexX
3-15-02
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Whoever you are, you're in trouble. You can't make a racket like that at this time of night...
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Now, where is the noise coming from? Down here?
No... I don't think it's there. I'll try down here...
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
*pant pant* Where the hell are you people???

 

by DexX
3-15-02
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!*
Wait a minute... this is the door! They're in here!
Hold on! Soon! That, That Is... Sweetness!
*THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *THUMP!* *KA-THUMP!* *KA-THUMP!* *KA-THUMP!*
Ah-hah! Found you! I... uh... oh my god...
Yes! Oh yes! YES!! YES!!! OH GOD YESSS!!!!
Next day...
So, I burst in and... well, something's coming...
So all that noise was a rhytmm of love? I knew it! HA!

 

by DexX
3-21-02
I can never thank you enough. I thought my life was over when my promising athletic career was cut short by that carpet-laying accident, but now I_can_live_again!
Don't thank me, dearest. You incredible courage in the face of adversity had allowed me to see my own value. If not for your inspiration, I wouldn't have had the courage to_pursue_my_dreams!
Daddy! You did it! You fought the evil corporation whose negligence caused me to catch this terrible illness in court, and won against all odds!
I did it for you, my beloved son. Your plight inspired my Oscar-worthy final address to the jury. Now it's time for your dramatic death scene...
Harold... when I first met you, I thought you were a filthy little cretin with chronic flatulence, played by Joe Pesci. However, now we are approaching the closing credits, and_I_can_see_that_I_tru-
*prrrpt!* Sorry, carry on. Don't mind me...

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Hello there! I am an unconvincing two-dimensional depiction of a guy who goes by the assumed name of DexX, though exactly why he uses that name is a very uninteresting story.
Where the fuck did my legs go?

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Sorry about that - got distracted. As I was saying, I am, more or less, DexX. I noticed tonight that my comic total is comign very close to the 400 mark.
Why is this noteworthy, you ask?
*ahem* That's your cue to ask why it's noteworthy.

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Four hundred comics is a milestone on this site. I thought I would mark the occasion with a... uh... thingy...
Uh...
Okay, fine - a string of ten or so comics which serve no purpose other than to take me up to four hundred!
...and you have to balls to yell at people about wasting bandwidth and storage space.

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Since joining the SC.com community in its infancy, I draw a lot of what is laughably referred to as "art". I thought a retrospective of_sorts_might_be_fun.
Wanker.
Uh... yeah. This guy is actually the first character I ever drew for this site. I don't know why I felt compelled to draw a dragon. He went unused for-
Shut the fuck up.
He went largeky unused for a long time, before achieving brief fame as Surly Dragon.
Brief fame? I'll give you a brief flame, ya prick...

 

by DexX
3-22-02
I didn't draw this background, but I like it for some reason. It tends to be my default backdrop. I think it's appeal lies in-
Hey!
Okay, who's fucking around with the projector?
For great pride! Battle angel moon sailor ballz - attack!

 

by DexX
3-22-02
I have had a lot of fun making characters and backgrounds for StripCreator.com over the past year or so.
I like to think that my cartoon art has helped shape the character and atmosphere which is so uniquely SC.com.
Of course, this is not always a good thing...
Ah!!! I am dieing!!!

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Being an Australian, I wanted to add a little bit of Aussie character to the site, so a kangaroo was inevitable. However, why she is armed with a machine gun is a mystery_even_to_me...
Oh, don't play innocent. We all know about you and your joey-devouring habits...
Apart from forum user characters, the pimp is the only character I can remember doing specifically on request. Popular demand for a resident pimp was-
What he's tryin'a say is, yo bitches needed someone to keep yo'selves in line.
...and this character... fuck, what _WAS_ I thinking???
...kill me...

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Our fearless leader here was the first to subject himself to my hamfisted caricature-drawing skills.
As I recall, you originally drew my eyes about the size of hubcaps. I had to ask you to reduce them twice.
That was my cartooning style at the time - big eyes, big heads, four-fingered hands...
Hang on... why do you have five fingers per hand, then?
I was drawing my reflection. Since I had myself as a live model, my caricature has a certain degree of realism not present in my other characters.
Hey, I'm not complaining - you drew me with a beer!

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Well, here we are - DexX strip number 399. The very next strip will be the legendary number four hundred!
Look, you could at least _pretend_ to be excited...

 

by DexX
3-22-02
Ken, guess what!
What?
This is my four hundredth strip!
So? I'm only a handful off seven hundred.
Oh... well... so much for that, then...

 

by DexX
3-23-02
In a real-life ICQ conversation between DexX and pita earlier this year...
I'm really sick of Tobor!
Impossible - everyone loves The Cornholer.
I never liked that monster!
I think he's a wanker!
In a dark dingy bar...
Is everyone turning against Tobor?

 

by DexX
3-23-02
In a real-life ICQ conversation between DexX and pita earlier this year...
I'm really sick of Tobor.
Impossible! Everyone loves The Cornholer.
I've never liked that monster!
I think he's a wanker.
Is everyone turning against Tobor?

 

by DexX
3-27-02
Down in front!
Sorry!

 

by DexX
3-27-02
Frank, here's the dessert for table seven... where are you going?
Why did you take a bowl into the toilets? Come on - table seven, dessert...
Your chocolate mousse. sir.
About god-damned time, too...

Showing page 8.

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