All comics by atomiclunch

Profile

 

by atomiclunch
2-16-16
I'll have a jumbo baconburger. No cheese, bun or burger, please.
So, an order of... bacon. Uh, why?
I'm lonely.
'K.

 

by atomiclunch
2-16-16
ial Report========Special Report=========Special Report=========Special Re
The Wild Hosebeast that wandered into town is still on the loose. Earlier today, it viciously killed actor Rip "Roaring" FIre as he stepped out to get his mail. We now go to Ember Gloween.
"Roaring" Fire is out! This is absolutely gruesome. Oh, the Flame-anity! I, I just can't... Back to you, Blaze...
Authorities ask that you do not try to engage the Hosebeast directly, it is very dangerous, as you can see. More as it happens. News 3: Reporting the news asbestos we can.

 

by atomiclunch
2-17-16
Holy crap! It's Jesus Christ! Jesus, I'm such a fan! I have so many questions!
Thankya. Thankyaverramuch.
Can you really tap dance on a cracker? What does the "H" stand for?
These are not important questions, my friend.
Did you have to cross the ocean to get here?
Dad? it's time we put pork back on the menu.

 

by atomiclunch
2-18-16
Okay, let's do dis.
Sure, it's your 20 bucks, Shaq.
Ow.
Road house.

 

by atomiclunch
2-18-16
So, what did you do with the... remnant?
Hey! I'm a professional, here. I disposed of it in accordance with code!
Not far away...
Death! Hey, you got a new cloak since we last talked. Snazzy!
I know! Pretty badass, right? Found it folded up on the hospital dumpster. Just lyin' there!
I hope the cheese smell washes out...

 

by atomiclunch
2-19-16
OMG, it's Santa!
Uh, yeah... son?
Santa, can you tell me how I'm doing so far this year?
You're doing okay.
Tell ya what, you'll get a permanent spot on my good list if you let me finish my "transaction" in peace.
The elf is no problem, m'man, but that reindeer is gonna cost extra.

 

by atomiclunch
2-19-16
Hey everybody, Atomiclunch here. If you're like me, you may have noticed that one of our brethren has been making himself scarce lately, We're wondering: Where's Beeko?
No, we're not.
Of course you are.
Why would you even think that?
Well, whenever I show you a new comic, your first response is: "that sucks! Beeko would do it better!"
We um, meant it in the nicest possible way...

 

by atomiclunch
2-19-16
At any rate, let's track him down and make sure he's ok!
Fine. Where do we start?
vmmvmmmvmmmvmmmvmmmvmmm
I know who to ask. You guys stay here. Cindy! Bring me the head of Wirthling!
KK
*POP!*
Hey.
S'up?

 

by atomiclunch
2-19-16
Who are you?
Wirthling, at your service!
What, exactly, do you do?
Suck.
*sigh* I can relate.
Dude, EVERYONE knows that.

 

by atomiclunch
2-19-16
Cindy! Wrong Wirthling! and where did my jacket go?
It's probably lost in the ether, with your self-respec-
New Wirthling targeted!
And you are?
Wank Wirthling, Owner of Wirthling Intangible Research! Looking for Beeko?

 

by atomiclunch
2-20-16
Yes, I, we, have been wondering where he's gone.
Well, we've tracked him for years. He's currently in his usual spot, the Costnerverse.
Okay, I'll just pop over and check up on -
Just so you know, he likes to travel between universes and he's visited some that we highly recommended against entering.
Meaning...
They've had some lingering, but temporary effects.

 

by atomiclunch
2-20-16
I'd like to put on buckskins and a ponytail and go underwater with a reed, hiding from the Indians... To me, that's sexy!
Okay... But what's that got to do with Sean Young in No Way Out?
Who cares! I'm goddamn motherfucking Kevin the -
HI!
Fuckin' great. I built it and *YOU* came...

 

by atomiclunch
2-20-16
Hey, can you point me towards Beeko?
Can you tell me why Waterworld flopped?
WHO SUMMONS BEEKO?!
Yeah, it kinda sucked, that's why.
HEY! That was a goddamn motherfucking cinematic masterpiece, you prole!
B! What's shakin', bro?
'Lunch! Long time no see! Asswad!

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
Look, B, you haven't been posting much lately. Everything okay? When ya comin' back?
I'm okay, just busy with these clowns, here.
What are they doing over there?
HEY! KEVIN! NO, THE OTHER KEVIN.. NO, THE OTHER OTHER KEVIN! KNOCK IT OFF, YOU SPASTICATED APEWAD!!
That happen often?
No, they usually beat up on outsiders, not each other...

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
Anyway, point taken. I'm gonna get right back to posting!
Cool! So, we're not going on some kind of esoteric, transdimensional adventure, then?
Nope. Matter of fact, since I can move freely through time and space, I'm gonna start posting before you even finish this series of comics, dickwhistle.
Well, foo.

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
Oh, Mr. Wirthling said something about you visiting dangerous dimensions and lingering effects.
Sheeit, that dickweed is just trying to keep me from having fun. I'm doing -
CRIKEY! Is that a stingray? AAAAHHH!!
Heh, that's not a stingray... ________________ THAT'S a stingray. __________________ - just fine, thank you very much!
Umm, that's just Kevin over there... See ya 'round, B...
TOOT TOOT CHUGGA CHUGGA BIG RED CAR!!!

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
Hmph, that went much faster than expected. One thing left to do, I suppose.
Guess it's time to wrap up. Hey, got a panel to fill, tell me about yourself.
Name's Earl, been doing community theater and Ziggy strips for a while, heard this was a step to the big time.
Not having a wrap party is really going to put a damper on the wrap party.
Yes sirree! "The Lockhorns", here I come! First I have to finish up as a Mexican janitor/savior/son of god thing. Sweet gig, though!

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
In the trailer...
Hey guys. Looks like there's a change in plans. Set is done, you can all go home. Thanks for coming!
Can you validate my parking, cutie?
I'm calling my union rep, Phreaky kicked me in the nuts to "help get me into character".
I was told there would be donuts! There aren't any donuts!
Just keep walking, don't say a word...
*urp!*

 

by atomiclunch
2-21-16
Hey Kids!! Join us for a tip from our friend, Social Norm! Today he's talking about cleanliness!
Hello, my good sir! I can't help but notice that you didn't wash your hands after taking that massive, juicy, noisy dump! Clean hands help prevent the spread of disease!
Join us again for another tip from Social Norm! Social Norm: Making society better, one smile at a time!
I can hear your E. coli multiplying inside of me.
Looks like you're right after all, now I gotta go wash your blood off my hands so I don't have U. pussy multiplying all up in me!

 

by atomiclunch
2-22-16
Ragu4u has a realization...
Haven't heard from The Undertaker in a while. Maybe he finally fell into the fires of Mt. Doom...
AAAAAAUUUGGHH!
Hey Rags, coffee?
I'd recommend decaf.

 

by atomiclunch
2-22-16
So, he asked you to put on some music but didn't have CDs? What DID he have?
They were these big, flat things. They were round,
had a hole in the middle and were textured, like, umm... like
*ahem*
like?
Fuck if I know! Scratchy?

 

by atomiclunch
2-23-16
Damn, Chen. That virgin from POF must've been some handful last night.
There was a bit of a communication breakdown...
So.. "Sheila". I'm honored that you've invited me over to pop your cherry with an evening of "firsting".
Umm, yeah. That's it. Why don't you head into the bedroom and get ready while I freshen up...
Hm, this is minimalist. Sheila! What's with all the lube?
Don't mind that, we won't be needing it! Make yourself comfortable. I'm guessing this will be a "first" for you...

 

by atomiclunch
2-24-16
ANDERS!
GET BACK TO YOUR STATION!!
THIS ISN'T FOOLING ANYONE!

 

by atomiclunch
2-25-16
Say Rocco, do you eat bacon?
My god, Rocco! Where'd you learn how to do that?!
Oh yeah...

 

Just wanted to tell you that your sign does not apply when one's wife asks one to "do the fucking dishes for once"...
by atomiclunch, 2-25-16

 

by atomiclunch
2-25-16
I've waited for this since our first cross burning, Stella.
Stella? Wait, I'm Ralph! We're both guys?!
I thought you were just a flat-chested chick! Well, might as well make the best of this.
Indeed. Just don't let the Grand Wizard find out.
Bite that pillow "Stella", I'm going in dry!
WEEEE! WEEEE! WEEEE!

 

by atomiclunch
2-26-16
!!
YOU!
aaaaaaaa!!!
aaaaaaaa!!
AAAAAAAAA!!!
AAAAAAAAA!!!!

 

by atomiclunch
2-26-16
AAAAAAA!!!!!
AAAAaaa... aaa? Uhh...
Okay, okay. *sigh* The ONE new year is on January 1st, all other new years are invalid. Happy now?
No!
♫

 

by atomiclunch
2-27-16
Social Norm Sez:
You know, Jim, It's considered antisocial to walk around in a bunny suit, carrying an axe. It tends to scare people by not conforming to the usual societal rules.
Really Norm? I, I hadn't thought about that. Wow, my eyes have been opened!
Join us again for more tips from Social Norm!
As has your jugular.

 

by atomiclunch
2-27-16
Coming to NBC this fall: 2 VERY different men with a single goal, getting EVERYONE on the GOOD list!
Santa Claus and Andrew "Dice" Clay are
Redsuit and Leatherman: Private Dicks! Delivering a Christmas stocking full of whoopass to Sunday nights, here on NBC!
We KNOW you've been naughty!
And we've got the proof, OH!

 

WHAT FUCKING UNDERTAKER??
by atomiclunch, 2-28-16

 

by atomiclunch
2-29-16
Sister, I'm sorry your Stigmataburger experience has been less than miraculous. What's the problem?
Well, it's Father Malone's Galilee Grape drink, it's that, um, well, well he can't uh...
The f***ing straw won't go IN the juice, it just stands on top! How the hell am I supposed to drink it?
Yeah, that.

 

by atomiclunch
2-29-16
Mr. Jesus sir, we have a problem with our lunch.
You guys had the 3 Triple stigmata burgers, XXL Crucifrys, 2 Red Sea Sodas and a -
- water, dad's watching his calories.
So, what's your issue, youngster?
*hic* gimme another 3 "waters", JC!
They keep turning into cups of Mad Dog 20/20.

 

by atomiclunch
2-29-16
A solemn occasion.
Shame about Liz. So young and beautiful. Hey, I hear you were the last one to see her alive.
Yeah Dexx, over at my place. We were having sex, she and I. Lovely girl. Enthusiastic.
That explains the closed casket.
They're still hosing my place down.

 

by atomiclunch
2-29-16
A solemn occasion.
Shame about Liz. So young and beautiful. Hey, I hear you were the last one to see her alive.
Yeah Dexx, over at my place. We were having sex, she and I. Lovely girl. Enthusiastic.
That explains the closed casket.
Toes. Everywhere.

 

by atomiclunch
3-01-16
Okay Mr. Lunch, I'm gonna have to cite you, can't let this slide, they're videotaping me One count of misdemeanor discharge of a nuclear device within city limits
One count of being too "New Wave" for this decade, that's a big one, sir.
But I rock this look...
And this Stop sign ain't gonna pay for itself. I'm gonna have to take you in for a little enhanced interrogatin', boy.

 

Whaddaya think, Ethan? It works as a Halloween costume AND a Christmas Decoration!
Shaq, you're either a genius or the tightest sumbitch I know...
by atomiclunch, 3-01-16

 

by atomiclunch
3-02-16
Thanks for the sex and all but I guess I should get back to, umm, saving the galaxy...
Okay, it was fantastic! Before you leave, tell me what it was like for you.
It was, uhh...
Hey, Mr Snott, would you please beam me down a hot dog?

 

by atomiclunch
3-03-16
We're almost there, Ethan! The donor is prepped and soon you'll have your own forearms! I just need you to sign this consent form so we can proceed.
With what, my penis??

 

by atomiclunch
3-04-16
Uh, Mr. Christ. About our little roach problem.
Yes, Paul. Did you send Pontius back with the Raid? Did he deal with it?
Yes he went but the bugs are a bit more... tenacious than we expected.
How so?
They have a list of demands for his release.
Me almighty! They want MORE grease on the fries?

 

by atomiclunch
3-04-16
What now, sir?
I suppose we should talk to them.
Dang, it's funky down here. Are you the spokesbug?
Yes, yes I am! Are you prepared for a good, solid, metaphorical ass-rapin', messiah-boy?
I bet you'll pay dearly to get your friend back.
No matter what they ask for, get them some fucking soap! They have no regard for personal hygiene!

 

by atomiclunch
3-04-16
I like you, ya got chutzpah. Tell ya what, you can have Pilate and you can vacate. Else I bring the stoners down here to smoke you.
I thought you were the peace and love type. Your terms are acceptable.
'k. Enjoy. There's a clip on the back that undoes the helmet.
Thank you, Jesus!
Should we say grace?
HEY!

 

by atomiclunch
3-04-16
You let them go?
They'll likely go next door to the Chinese place. Chen will stir-fry them and put them on the menu.
Smart thinking, sir.
Just recycling.
I hope to be as smart as you, sir.
Keep sweeping, RCLG. One day you may get promoted to atomiclunch's job of cleaning the gunk out of the fryer.

 

by atomiclunch
3-04-16
Thanks Randolph, for walking me home from work.
No problem.
You know, Chen's out of town for a self defense seminar all week. Come... In and let me...Thank you... Properly. *wink*
Sex, Randolph. I'm offering you sex. You in there?

 

by atomiclunch
3-05-16
If you're not using that...

 

by atomiclunch
3-06-16
Excuse me sir, could you direct me to the restroom?
Arr! We be on a ship at sea, lassie! Ye be referring to the "head"!
*cough* Sorry ma'am, don't know what came over me. The head is just over there on the Lido Deck.
Thank you very much, sir.
Number 1 or Number 2 today, ma'am?

 

by atomiclunch
3-07-16
The seller is a teacher that's retiring to Florida. You know, I used to be a teacher, myself...
mmf fffff
and I rememb... Hey! If you didn't bring enough for everyone, you better spit that out!
mmf grvvy!
"Chair-desks" IS a unique decor theme, yes.

 

One more time, class. What letter follows "M"? Get it wrong again and Holly loses her other leg!
by atomiclunch, 3-07-16

 

by atomiclunch
3-08-16
Look out ocean, here I come!!
NNOOOO!! WAIT!
*SPLASH!* Bzzzzzt! zzzzzzzssst!
Woohoo!!!
Dammit!
Fuck!
Oh BABY!!

 

by atomiclunch
3-08-16
Oh yeah, that's better. Aaaahhh!
STOP!
*POIT!*
Huh?
Hi! I'm Social Norm! Public urination is considered bad manners. Instead, you should see a professional about realigning that urethra and -
AAIIIEEE! Milwaukee's Best? Have you no respect for society as a whole?

Showing page 8.

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