All comics by bigworm

Profile

 

by bigworm
8-05-10
Boy oh boy!
I can hardly wait for the bitches to get here!

 

by bigworm
8-05-10
#1 ON THE 'TO-DO' LIST...
If I'm facing this direction when I take a dump, it will replenish my own planet...
...and if I face this direction, it will replenish my neighbors planet.
I'm gonna' do the right thing...
...and love my neighbor.

 

by bigworm
8-05-10
*delete*
*delete*
*SAVE*

 

by bigworm
8-05-10
FOLLOWING THE RECIPIE'S DIRECTIONS PRECISELY WILL ALLOW FOR MAXIMUM 'SELF-EXCITEMENT'~ STEP #1-Go to the 'POST A COMMENT' section on one of your own comics. STEP #2-Post a comment and click 'save'.
STEP #3- Click on 'STRIPCREATOR' in the upper left hand corner of page. STEP #4- Notice the glowing '1 new comic comment' alert in upper left hand corner of page.
STEP #5- Feel excited that someone has commented on one of your comics. (NOTE- For maximum excitement, delay reading your own comment.)

 

by bigworm
8-05-10
Put up yer dukes!
C'mon, put up yer dukes!
Had enough? Huh?

 

by bigworm
8-06-10
Hmmm, who the hell's been poopin' on my planet?
Hey neighbor!!! I see you've found my calling card! Don't worry, it's on the house! Well, I like to get all my interstellar travel done before noon, so catch you later.
So, I love my neighbor... and get shit on in return.

 

by bigworm
8-06-10
Turn please...
...very nice...
...and again.

 

by bigworm
8-06-10
I can't find my glass cucumber!
Did you look up your ass?
Of course, that was the first place I looked.
Did you use a flashlight?
I can't find that either!
Do tell.

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
I can't say yes to anal unless you show me your thing.
No... I can't.
You're really blowing the chance to do me. Why don't you just let me see it?
Redro is shy, his thing is small. Redro is ashamed, even though everyone likes it. Everyone says it's real cute.
So, everyone else has already seen it, but you won't show it to me? What's up with that?
Redro was a loose robot then... you can look now.

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Ho Ho Ho! Talk about silly costumes!
I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
That's funny... I had been hoping the same thing about you.

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Did you see the new elf Santa just hired?
You mean that dude in a pink bunnysuit is an elf?!?
I think I'm experiencing a 'pregnant pause', that comes just prior to a fit of hilarity!
I feel like I'm gonna' BLOW!!!
That's cool, we can hilaritize after you're done!
And you don't need to wear a condom, because it's after the pregnant pause!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Stop sucking for a minute...
Did you hear something?
No...
Do you wanna' put that present down?
No, I think I feel a pregnant pause coming on.
Wow! I'm glad you said something. Do you think I stopped sucking in time?

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Have you seen the 'Whitman vs. Brown' campaign ads on tv?
Yeh, like where Brown uses photos of Meg that make her look like a fucking witch!
Then she uses pictures of him that make him look all sick and pale, and hairless, like he didn't have any blood in him.
You can tell those pictures were photoshopped to make him look naturally bloodless.
That was a mistake on her part.
Yeh, because nobody would even think about voting for him if they knew he had ticks all over his head!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Thanks for talking with us this evening about the 'Whitman/Brown' campaign. What is it you would like the viewers to know?
She says he doesn't have a plan. He says she's a big spender. That's all a bunch of meaningless crap to the bovine ilk!
We wanna' know how big his balls are...
...and see a picture of her teats!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
I'm pleased to offer you the position of 'Chief Juvenile Procurement Officer'
I thought I was applying for the position of 'Security Guard'.
Oh my bad!
I'd already promoted you before you even started!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Hey man, help me get out of this straight-jacket!
You're an escaped mental patient! I could go to jail for that.
Then you're gonna' have to wipe my ass for me, 'cus I just took a dump in this monkey-suit!
So where's the zipper already?

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Hey, who's that guy over there anyway?
Oh, that's Harley... David's son. He's from Wisconsin.
What's he doin' here?
He moved.
Did you hear that Harley Davidson is moving out of Wisconsin?
Bullshit!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
uh 1, uh 2, uh 1-2-3-4... You ain't nothin' but a hound...uhhh, a hound...uhhh.
Quick! Somebody tell me the next word!

 

by bigworm
8-07-10
Give me all your cash!
May I remind you that you're in prison?
Sorry man... I forgot.

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
Do you see what I see in that window over there? That little elf's got some big knockers, ain't she?
I do not see what you see! We both know she is not an elf!
Oh my goodness... she just took a wig off! That mop was a freakin' wig! Now she's pullin' off one of them old fashioned girdles!
Please stop describing her... I am not programmed to enjoy peeping and critiquing!
You think I enjoy this?!? I don't. It's just that I heard the old bag has some shots of me from my collelge days, and plans to use them.
Oh please Jerry!! You and Ms. Whitman must work this out some other way!

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
If you just spell 'yeah' y-e-h... withOUT the 'a', and do that on the keyboard for 35 years, you can save HOURS and HOURS of time. We're talkin' BIG savings in time! TIME to do other things!
Does this work for everybody?
YEH! It can, but it takes TWO positive attitudes. One negative attitude can KILL it... that's why you need to know WHO you're talking to, and if it's real or not!? I'm up for it, how 'bout you?
Yeh, *he he*. I'm using it now, right?
YEH, you are!! Now, in order to maximize the positive effect, MY participation is required. So let's see... we need an idea or two to bounce around. BINGO! ASK me if I like your breasts.
Yeh........................ oh, I forgot. Let me start over... you do uhh... I mean, you do like them... don't you?

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
Oh YEH, I like your breasts a LOT!! You know, being so positive feels SO GOOD! I'm sure you know that positivism and discretion often go hand in hand, so let's milk it for all it's worth, ok?
YEH!!! *he he* YEH!!!
WOW! I like the positive way you're taking charge of this whole PROCESS. You do feel GOOD about it, don't you?
Yeh, I do feel good about it.
Would you say you feel as good about the 'positive process', as you do about your... oh, let's see... umm, YEH! (Let's just stick with your original example), about your huge breasts?

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
Anyway, back to the intimate connection between positivism and discretion. We need a good example of the discreet use of positivism. OK, I think I've got one... ok?
Yeh, ok.
Using the cover of your hair, I want you to look for an extended period of time (but discreetly), inside the bottom right hand corner of my jacket. OK, are you looking there?
Yeh...
GREAT! Now tell me this... Do you see something there that's BULGING and THROBBING? Something that looks like it's so stiff that it could ONLY be satisfied by long periods of inTENSE SUCKing?
Yeh, I guess.

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
Well, I guess it's time to let you take over completly. So continue to look down there discreetly and actually ask it questions. So go ahead and ask it... ummm... ok, I got it...
...ask it if it would like you to take your shirt off, and then suck it non-stop until it cums in your mouth, and you swallow every last fucking drop, in front of an open window, at your place, ok?
Yeh... ok.
Wow... it doesn't get proposals like that every day. Give it a minute, *tick tock, tick tock*. Oh my God! It's saying YAY! YAY! I guess we'd better hurry on over to your place, huh?
Yeh... I mean, YAY!! I mean I guess I mean... YAY!

 

by bigworm
8-08-10
When I was young, I never took any shit from a bee!
Get down and give me 20!!!
How about 20 inches of horse cock up your ass?!!
I had a 'zinger' for every occasion!
And when you appear for sentencing, you'd better be wearing a tie!
Why? 'Cus you want me to whip the Queen with it?!!
I even dis'd the Queen, and they couldn't touch me!
All rise!!! The Hive is now in session, the Honorable...
... the Blubbery Queen Slut-Bee of All Times, (so fat she can't even move, and she just sits there while everybody fucks her blubber all day long)... presiding!

 

by bigworm
8-09-10
Remember when we used to see each other in person?
Yes... of course I do. We would embrace and spin in circles... and fall to the ground laughing.
Now we're screenshots. The only uncertainties we face are the failures of the system.
I can't know for sure if I'll ever see you in person again. It makes my love for you the driving imperative! Let's turn our webcams on and cyberfuck .
I'd love to honey, but my cam has a splitting chip-ache!
Could you at least watch me jack-off?

 

by bigworm
8-09-10
I wanted to clear something...
sshhhhh... don't say another word.
This is SO romantic......

 

I am programmed to assimilate, and report on the human experience.
You're barking up the wrong tree.
by bigworm, 8-09-10

 

Woof woof?
by bigworm, 8-09-10

 

by bigworm
8-09-10
*SEARCH- 'find right tree' instructions*............. *SEARCH-RESULTS- look for tree on right, idiot!* ============ Okay, How come I don't see it?
*REPEAT SEARCH- 'find right tree' instructions*............. *SEARCH-RESULTS- your OTHER right, you fucking moron!* ============= Alright already!
WOOF WOOF!!! WOOF WOOF!!! OWWOOoooooo!!! yip yip yip.... OWWOOoooooo!!! yip yip yip...

 

by bigworm
8-09-10
Hang in there my darling... it won't be much longer!!!
*SEARCH - 'how to piss on tree with fence in way' instructions* ===========

 

by bigworm
8-10-10
Who's gonna' win it... Jerry or Meg?
Jerry.
Why?
She's been villified...
So?
...and bitchified!

 

by bigworm
8-10-10
I gave you two weeks.
Pampers have a glossy side and a matte side.
I need my partner to know the difference.

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
Sit... sit. Monkey... sit!
Sit... Monkey... siiiiiiit!
Monkey... look at me... now sit!
I was hoping for someone with a little more creativity.

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
Just a minute, and I'll show you!
Now is that, or is that not a resevoir tip?

 

*tickle tickle?*
by bigworm, 8-11-10

 
by bigworm, 8-11-10

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
"fuck me" ------------------------- do me ----------------------- me fuck ----------------------- can me --------------------- fuck can
"can do" ------------------------ can fuck ------------------------ do can ------------------------ do fuck ----------------------- me do
we had come close to exhausting all of our 2-word permutations when it became clear nothing was going to happen...
... so, after 10 vocabularicaly shocking years... we said our goodbyes...
"fuck me"
"can do"

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
What can I do for you?
I think the monkey was in front of you sir!
It's ok, me and 'Galore' are in a hurry!

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
Bonus Reason #2... C'MON DOWN!!!

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
...like a cockroach on a styrofoam plate...he moves considerably less than silently through the dark...
*shuffle shuffle, whoosh*
...aaawwwww... *whish-whoosh*...
...and just like some nocturnal buzzard named Robin Hood, sniffing the stench gradient... he methodically hones in on the bullseyes... [Let's listen in...]
*whoosh*...ooohhhhhh... *sniff sniff*
* lappity lappity suckity suckity nipple-slobber nipple-slobber lappity lappity nipple-slobber shlurpitty* **primeval wolf-howl ejaculatory sounds** aahhhh...!!! *scurry scurry*
According to the victim..."Before I could even turn the light on and get my billfold out to compensate him, he had sucked and dried my fun-bumps, returned them to their padded cups... and was gone..."
Call me...?

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
Chief!!! You told the press that this was the 'Midnight Ninja Titty Suckers' first victim! How could you make such a statement?
I made that statement based on my many years in law enforcement.
Could you explain further please?
It made sense to me that he would strike again...
...because it sounds like the kind of thing any normal guy would want to do more than once.

 

by bigworm
8-11-10
Such a gay day...
But the poof is aloof!

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
Dear Diary, I'm glad I remembered to bring a loaf of bread with me. It's a wonderful snack. As far as I'm concerned...
... it's the only snack there is.

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
Dear Diary, I suppose there's a bit of worry creeping into my life right about now. The loaf of bread that I brought is almost gone. I'm worried about not having anything to snack on.
I hope it's legacy doesn't need any salt.

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
Dear Diary, I was really pissed when I had to leave my pillow at home. Thank God ...
... he let me bring my hubris.

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
To fry or not to fry: there is no question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind of the fat man, to suffer the weight gain and ridicule of those with thinner fortune,
or to take flabby arms against a sea of bacon fat bubbles, and by positing them in a jar, save them for later?
NEXT!!!

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
Aww, c'mon... I'm sorry!!! Okay?!
I'll never do it again...I promise!!! Listen... on my honor... I will never stuff another industrial size cheese grater up your ass backwards...
...without turning it off first!

 

by bigworm
8-12-10
Good evening, and welcome to 'Debunkers', the show devoted to debunking the claims of the so called 'para-psychologists' and their cohorts, the 'ghost hunters'.
This week we're looking into claims that Satan himself rises each evening from the very patch of ground I'm standing on right now. We will be right here to find out if that's true.
*off air* Will one of you please politely tell Mr. Avenging Angel here that we'll be taping his show 2 weeks from tonight, and to please disappear until then.

 

by bigworm
8-13-10
Please sir, I really need this part. Just give me one more chance. I'll do anything!
Can you dance?
Can I dance?!! I'm the 1973 'WORM-DANCE' Champion from the Calaveras County Fair and Jumping Frog Jubilee!!!
...hmmm
...impressive.

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »