All comics by brycekain

Profile

 

by brycekain
5-16-14
DANG IT! We ain't the Ku Klux Klan! We're the Keister Kicking Killjoys!
Oh. Can I still join?
No.
*KICK*
Ok, what the fuck was THAT?!?
Brain fart. For some reason I'm running out of ideas.

 

by brycekain
5-20-14
Ok, what the fuck was THAT?!?
Brain fart. For some reason I'm running out of ideas.
*CHUGGA CHUGGA*
*CHUGGA CHUGGA*
Oh... I thought you meant the height of my boner when I'm laying on my back.
Planet WTF??????

 

by brycekain
5-26-14
Sir, intelligence has reported that a diety from a parallel dimension is syphoning psychic energy from you and it's bleeding into their comic universe.
Who is behind this dasterdly plan?
He calls himself Random Comic Layout Guy.
Seriously? We've scrapped the bottom of the barrel so much that we're left with mashing up with other comic strippers?
Yup.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

 

by brycekain
6-01-14
Ok, so what's this RandomComicLayoutGuy look like anyway?
Nobody knows...
Then how are we supposed to stop him or sign a peace treaty with him?
Nobody knows...
Have you been dipping into my medication again?
Nobody knows...

 

by brycekain
6-03-14
pt I
You sure did a number on your sister.
She was a slut. Can I have an ice cream now?
pt II
RAWR! I'm Michael and I'm going to kill teenagers when I get out for reasons that aren't extremely clear, but no one will care cause there will be titties involved!
As your doctor, I must advise that you're just a douchebag who couldn't handle puberty. I mean look at you, you're not even in the right mask, dumbass. Just sayin!
pt III
3 MORE DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN!
Did the writers of this movie forgo the usual scripting process and instead engage in a massive scatological circle jerk on quaaludes?

 

by brycekain
6-09-14
We must sign a peace treaty with the Creator of Planet RCL so he'll stop syphoning energy off of Planet WTF. This is where you come in.
Peace treaties aren't really my forte. Hold on a second.
You have a Phreaky costume?
I also moonlight as a guy with an orange perm who's WAY too into cats. For... uh... research purposes. Don't judge.

 

by brycekain
6-20-14
Ok, team, I am here on Planet RCL. Over.
Roger that. What is the environment like?
Resembles Planet WTF, but ... funny, my Phreaky costume isn't working. And I can't move. Over.
Roger. Would you like us to beam you back aboard?
I'm staying. And stop calling me Roger, asshole.

 

by brycekain
6-23-14
Holy CRAP! RCL God is more powerful than I thought!
Wait, what? Who the hell are you?
My name is AJ Squirrel and I was trying to get RCL God to sign a peace treaty. However, the fiend tried to kill me by deleting the last comic I was in. This means war.
I think I'll use this hand tonight.

 

by brycekain
6-24-14
Space-time and almost all causality has gone out the window on this planet. You, sir! Who are you and what are you doing?
I am the captain of the guards and I am here guarding our creator, RCL God, while he is in his office.
THIS is his office?
Yes. State your business!
Wait, why a bathroom?
Ever read RCLG's profile tag line at the top?

 

by brycekain
6-26-14
Wow. Jenny. Is that really you? You look as beautiful as the day we...
I had your baby then gave it up for adoption.
YOU WHAT???
I had your baby, then gave it up for adoption, but then I had a change of heart. So I kidnapped our baby back and I did a DNA test and found out that she's not only yours but I AM ALSO YOUR SISTER!!
Um...
Just kidding. HA! I'm such a jokester and you fell for it, Mr. LAME-O! Haha. No, but seriously I am your sister.

 

Who was it that said, "This life, which had been the tomb of his virtue and of his honour, is but a walking shadow; a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard...?"
I know you're trying to be intellectual, but all I hear is your vagina going...... FUH FUH FUH FUH
by brycekain, 6-26-14

 

by brycekain
6-27-14
Bless me Father, for I have sinned...
My sister in Christ, you need to remember that Corinthians says: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he...
CUT!!! Ok, look. You aren't showing the range of emotion that you promised for this scene. I want to see PASSION! I want to see MOTION! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to replace you.
I understand.
STUNT COCK!
awww yeah...

 

by brycekain
6-30-14
Is there a sign on my back?
Yup, it says "Yumpin Yiminy! I can't believe she ate the whole thing!"
*sigh*
What?
It's an old secret Cantisano Family code. It means "The Creator should judge this contest in-spite of being dead."
Is this a Ragu joke?

 

by brycekain
7-01-14
Wait! I was JUST at RCLG's office! NOW where the hell am I??
This is Planet RCL. You have to wait until the random functions of the planet bring you to where you want to go. You may arrive at your destination in the next few minutes. Or you may never arrive.
Yeah, fuck that shit. OK, BOYS! Time for plan B! Beam my ass up!
Wait! Did I mention that I'm related to Richard Gere?

 

by brycekain
7-01-14
So we, the people of Planet WTF, unconditionally agree to the terms of Planet RCL's peace treaty.
Groovy.
So RCL God will stop siphoning energy from our planet if we agree to never do another cross-over comic, right?
Groovy.
You know. There's something very familiar about you.
*click*

 

by brycekain
7-02-14
That gay club was awesome. We fucked so many guys in there.
Totally.
We should turn around and fart on this guy's face over here that's looking right at us.

 

by brycekain
7-05-14
Come here, young lady!

 

by brycekain
7-09-14
Why no, Mr. Cauliflower Monster.
I do not feel like sucking your enormous penis.
Oh real mature.

 

by brycekain
7-10-14
I can't believe they forced me to hire this retard!
Hey, boss. Want to see how excited I am to be working for you?!?
HA HA HA. Well THAT part of your body certainly is happy to see me.
I know, right? Oh, and you should see my penis!

 

by brycekain
7-10-14
I'm sorry, old chap, but there seems to be / A series of platitudes you have slung at me / And now I must leave, do you understand? / And why's there a fucking fish on my hand?
Uh... um... J Q V X and Z!
"...and Z?"
We just used all the letters in the alphabet, used an unusual word, AND we rhymed part of it! And now for the punchline...
Yum.
I was told they would Photoshop something in for the last panel. I can't see it. Is it tasteful?

 

by brycekain
7-13-14
Hey there, Mr. Chicken. Would you like to come across the street and join me and my family for a lovely barbq?
Ok, let me just stop you right there, fuckface. You want ME to cross the road? ME! I'm an agoraphobic, you asshole! Do you know what that means??
The one and ONLY time I EVER went outside in my ENTIRE LIFE, I crossed one street. ONE! Next thing I know I have the fucking FEDS all up my ass! You wanna know why I crossed the road?? WELL?? DOO YAA?
uh, well, I don't...
I'm just kidding. I'm not coming over cause you're all honkeys.

 

by brycekain
7-14-14
FTC 175 Comic Contest is open for business in the "More Comic Contests" section of the forums.
What? You want me to beg? Just go enter a comic.

 

by brycekain
7-14-14
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing... Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before...
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token... And the only word there spoken was the whispered word...
Lenore?

 

by brycekain
7-15-14
TOBOR NEEDS TO TINKLE!
You're just going to have to wait.
MOVE OR TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
While there's still shit coming out my ass?
Yeah... work that image around in your head... yeah, baby... work it!

 

by brycekain
7-15-14
Dad, I've been waiting a long time to tell you this, but I can't wait any longer. I'm gay...
Son, lots of people are gay. Doesn't make them any better or any worse than anybody else. I will always love you, no matter what.
...I lost my virginity to the Ratt & Roll album by RATT!
NEVER go full retard!

 

by brycekain
7-18-14
Wow.
See? I told you! What the hell am I supposed to do?
I never would have believed you could poop your own butt off.
You better not start calling me flat ass.

 

by brycekain
7-19-14
What?
You've been on Strip Creator for almost 5 years now and you only have 19 followers. HAHA! Ragu has more followers than you!
:(
Awwww.... it's ok. It took a while for Hitler, too.

 

by brycekain
7-20-14
*psssst* uh... hi...
hi.
Um, ok. So what are we waiting for?
This is the line to your mom's bedroom. She lives in a quaint old town just over the hill called Shut the Fuck Up.

 

by brycekain
7-22-14
The Kain is not pleased with his followers count. He bitches at me all day about it and now I have to figure out a way to increase our popularity.
......
I know, I'm sorry for bringing work home, baby, but it's just that....
.......
Ok, you can stop trying to hide your farts with bomb range explosions. I do have a nose under this mask, you know?

 

by brycekain
7-22-14
It has come to the attention of The Almighty Kain that He only has 19 followers. Maybe we can do a mash-up with Ragu and try to gain some of HIS followers?
But then you'll break the treaty you signed with Planet RCL and our world will be doomed!
Right. Ok... so we need a plan. How can we gain some of Ragu's followers without intentionally doing a mash-up?
What if we made a movie and Ragu stars in it. Right? So then it's not a mash up if it's filmed by an independent studio.
THAT might work. Plus I heard that anyone can hire him. Sounds like a hooker to me.
That would be much more glamorous than what we are about to do. No no, think Fight Club meets Winnie the Pooh! The narrator will be Eeyore and voiced by Ragu! Holy fuck, I just wrote a rap song.

 

by brycekain
7-23-14
I look round n around and I see a sea of new faces. Which means some of you have broken the first 2 rules of Fight Club!
Oh my god, did I get in? Did I get in??
The first rule of Fight Club IS... you do not talk about Fight Club. SECOND rule is... you do NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Third rule...
Oh my god, did I get in??? Did I????
Wait a minute. CUT! I thought this guy was supposed to be in a donkey outfit or something.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I WISH HE'D TELL ME IF I MADE IT INTO FIGHT CLUB!!!

 

Breaking news from Washington, DC!
Yes, my fellow congressmen and I have decided to take a cut in salary. We now work for minimum wage and everyone is covered under Obamacare.
by brycekain, 7-23-14

 

by brycekain
7-25-14
Sir, I wish you would check your email. You are receiving fan mail now. Well, just one fan mail, but still...
Someone wrote me fan mail? Are they high?
Um... probably so, sir.
Send them a fruit basket anyway. I'm always leary of someone who would hold me in such high regard.

 

by brycekain
7-25-14
It is an honor to be elected the first transgender, homosexual, Arabic atheist President of the United States.
Godless America!
Sharia Law for everybody!

 

June, honey. How's the Beaver?
It would be better if you'd stop fucking me in the ass.
by brycekain, 7-25-14

 

by brycekain
7-26-14
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
I'd fuck me so hard...
¿Qué?
Why yes I am! Thank you for asking!
Usted debe ser el hombre que vi teniendo sexo anal con edoggydog en el Ballpit dentro Chucky Cheese. Maricones tontos.

 

by brycekain
7-27-14
I've tracked down every lead I can find and they all lead back to you.
I don't know nothin.
Who is this new family that's moved to Planet WTF? They are affiliated with EvilCorp and I know you are as well. You know something and you're not telling me. Cough it up!
I ain't talkin, copper.
Alright, fine then. Have it your way. HEY MIKE! Bring in the video set up with the Twerking Miley Cirus video. And make it autoloop for 300 hours.
5 DAYS of HANNAH MONTANNA?? Ok, FUCK THAT SHIT!! Start writing.........

 

by brycekain
7-28-14
Where you off to now, George?
Well, now that we have finished moving in, I was going to have the previous residents come up for a nice hearty supper.
Way ahead of you, dear. I've already made the arrangements.
Excellent. So when's dinner?
The Jeffersons should be done by 6pm. Should I set a plate for you?
Absolutely! I love dark meat.

 

by brycekain
7-30-14
Ok, Mr. Xbox or whatever the hell your last name is, why are you here?
First.... why do you live in an old school house?
Why do I live anywhere? I'm just a chicken, right? And I just happen to be in America. Chickens are NOT Americans! We are a people who formerly were kidnaped and brought to America!
Our forefathers weren't the Pilgrims. We didn't land on Plymouth Rock; the rock was landed on us. We were brought here against our will; we were not brought here to be made citizens!
Listen, I don't mind you preaching to the choir, but cover songs aren't allowed, cracker.

 

by brycekain
7-30-14
*clears throat*
The first person to enter a comic strip in WW95 after this one will win.
Seriously. Any comic. My standards are low at this point.

 

Hi, I'm Michael Vick. And welcome to Jackass!
by brycekain, 8-04-14

 

by brycekain
8-04-14
What did the doctor say to the ailing patient...?
BOOOOO!!!
Excuse me for a second...
Ok, so what did the doctor say to the ailing patient...?

 

by brycekain
8-04-14
How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Depends on how many were gassed the night before.
HEY! Is that Mel Gibson dressed as a Rabbi??
shit.

 

by brycekain
8-04-14
Ok ok, here's one: Why did the Jihadist hijack the airplane?
Wow. Dead audience...

 

by brycekain
8-04-14
WOOOOO! SHOW US YOUR TITS!!
I don't have any tits.
*VOMIT*

 

by brycekain
8-09-14
Tragedy in the nation's heartland. A story of lies, deceit, and unnatural acts with muppets. I'd like to introduce my first guest: child psychologist and part time puppeteer, Bob Sanderson...
Hi, boys and girls! I'm so happy to be on today's show!
CAN IT, PERVERT! SHOW ME ON THE MUPPET WHERE YOU TOUCHED THE FRAGGLE!!
But that's not even the same show....? And why are the cops here?
Innocent man trying to feed his family through the magic of puppetry? Or brutal psychopath hellbent on destroying the lives of muppets everywhere? For the Disney Channel...
You're a twisted bitch, Nancy Grace!

 

by brycekain
8-11-14
♫♫ Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there... ♫♫
You're covered.
IN A GAY BAR FULL OF HOT BITCHES!!!
Shit.
Cum here often?

 

by brycekain
8-11-14
Robin Williams??
Seriously, there's nothing funny about this shit.

 

by brycekain
8-11-14
Ok, let's try this again... Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there...
Uh... I said you're covered, sir...
IN A DYKE BAR WITH LOTS OF HOT PUSSY!
DAMMIT!!!
BREEDER!!!

 

by brycekain
8-15-14
I've been invited over to eat at my friend's, but I'm having trouble with the directions she gave me here.
No no, you're in the right spot.
Really? My my my... Has this place always been this vast?
Oh no. It's expanded over the years with lots of hard work, grueling hours, and very few tools to work with. Just please excuse the smell. I haven't finished cleaning the pipes.
Yes, that hideous odor is new to me. Although it seems familiar at the same time. It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite put my finger on it......
Ms. Ciccone only opens her meat flaps once a month so I can scrub out the goat cheese. Wish me luck!

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »