All comics by mandingo

Profile

 

That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
you're fucking up show and tell!
by mandingo, 9-24-05

 

by mandingo
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
well?
SEINFELD DID IT!

 

by mandingo
9-24-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
what, just to date JesusFreakBot? why don't you just take her to that concert you won tickets to?
take a JesusFreakBot to a heavy metal concert? are you crazy?
just tell her its christian rock
and how do i explain lyrics like 'fuck your mama in the ass til she queefs vanilla wafers'
tell her its written in code like Revelation

 

by mandingo
9-25-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
so if i can't spank the monkey...
uh oh

 

by mandingo
9-26-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
we're going off to war and that's what you're thinking about??
oh, you naive little man
this whole war's about yerkin jerkin'

 

by mandingo
9-26-05
in sports today, the San Francisco Giants faced the L.A. Dodgers in what turned out to be a slugfest.
they are out there, Ed. right outside the door. waiting for you to mess up. waiting for you, Ed. waiting.
it took extras, but the Giants pulled out a victory, 13 to 11.

 

by mandingo
9-26-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
as long as you believe, anything is possible. and hope. hope and belief are all we have
and kids in wells
let's mix them all together and make chili

 

by mandingo
9-27-05
Mr. Brain, is it? how do you plan on paying for the funeral service and plots today?
don't you mean plot?
no, plots, plural. i'm afraid all the inspector's springs let loose upon death and we can't get them back in. we have to use 4 plots to bury him
4 plots! i can't afford that!
well, i do run a rather lucrative child slavery ring on the side...
a Penny for your plots?

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little indians... ♫

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little mexicans... ♫
is that even a song?

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little chinks... ♫
i come for you in sleep. i cut off baby maker

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little niggers... ♫
i'm Phillipian

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little dirty Phillipians... ♫
i didn't say dirty

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
are you ready!
come on, altogether now!
♫one little, two little, three little unkempt Phillipians... ♫
my hair's supposed to look like this

 

7
by mandingo
9-28-05
give me SOMEthing, ASSHOLE!
what's wrong?
it's this dirty unkempt nigger Phillipian. he's fucking up the entire series
i'll have a talk with him
can i have a moment please, Mr. Dirty Unkempt Nigger Phillipian?
she must be talking to you, Pete

 

8
by mandingo
9-28-05
Pete? you mean you have names?
of course we have names. what, you think just because you always refer to us as "one little, two little" that we don't have any individuality?
i'm Joe. i enjoy waterskiing and long walks on the beach. here beside me is Pete. tell the lady about yourself, Pete
i like to touch my wee wee
Pete here has taken a couple bumps to the head

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
look, could you just do me a favor and let Jim get through his series?
Jim, you sly dog, i didn't know you were writing a series
i didn't know myself, Lance
no, Jim my boyfriend, not Jim number 2 little Dirty Unkempt Nigger Phillipian
Burt, you have the time?
almost quitting time, Larry
you're facing the wrong way, Pete

 

by mandingo
9-28-05
well, that's it, boys. quitting time. another day, another dollar
let's hit the showers, hot stuff
um... good news! yah! i uh... got the Dirty Unkempt Nigger Phillipians to leave so you can continue with your series
oh, okay
♫one little, two little, three little stationary objects which can't talk back since i'm teetering on the edge of insanity after the dirty unkempt nigger Phillipians... ♫
actually, i don't know if "stationary object" is technically correct since we are rotary phones
you just killed the man, Jack

 

by mandingo
9-29-05
Don't be afraid. Enter the chamber, my girl.
Annie, is that you?
i think it's her, Doc

 

by mandingo
9-29-05
Billy, i heard you stole popsicles out of your teacher's desk today
Doug was doing it, and i couldn't say no. i'd look like a chicken
you can always say no, Billy
even when you come into my bedroom after mom's fallen asleep?
even then, son. i won't listen of course, but at least you'll be acting like a man then. damn Shakespeare club's turning you into a sissy.
it was either that or Horseback riding and what with my bum bum aching...

 

by mandingo
9-30-05
That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!
you hear that, little hand? no more jerkin yerkin, you've put your work in, just like Kirk in murk in planet Girken.
no more lurkin' outside Perkins with my yerkin, slowly jerkin.

 

by mandingo
9-30-05
i'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10
take a guess.
THE DARK LORD WILL COME AND BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF INFANTS!!!!
OK, that was just wrong!
I'M A SILLY GOOSE!!!!

 

by mandingo
10-01-05
oh, Joe. you died before your time. and to be murdered by your brother's hands, just like Cane, it's so sad
still think mom likes you best?

 

by mandingo
10-01-05
Hey, mandingo. How did your parole hearing go with the Stripcreator Council of Legends?
Not good, interrogative African. I told them if I was elected to run Comic Contest 300 that I would use perfect spelling, grammar, and capitalization, just like I'm doing in this comic.
What did they say?
They said I still need to atone for taking on the establishment when I got here. I either have to get naked and run around the block, make a statue using my own feces, or carry 100 stones around.
So, in a nutshell...
Strip, create, or rocks.

 

by mandingo
10-01-05
if elected, mandingo promises not to eat any more elderly
SCREEEEEECH
and not to make it look like a heart attack
SCREEEEEECH
or a robbery gone bad
SCREEE      grandma?

 

by mandingo
10-02-05
people say to me, mandingo... mandingo, they say, using direct address a bit redundantly, why do you run such a clean campaign when all of your opponents are such mudslingers?
Interrogative African, i say, or Mentally Impaired Polack, or whatever subspecies i happen to be talking to, i say that's because i'm a people person. and as a people person, my Headquarters is a bar.
then i take them back to Headquarters, buy them a few drinks, slip them a roofie and steal their wallet. but not their jewelry. you know why?
because you're a people person?

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
that one time the bully demanded your lunch money and you pissed yourself!
and that other time you declared your undying love to Stacy Brown only to have her say, 'Hey, aren't you that kid that pissed himself?'
now onto the 6th grade!

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
mandingo, what about reports that you've been firebombing the other candidate's homes, ensuring your victory through a horrible death toll.
those reports are WILDLY accurate
you mean wildly inaccurate?
NEXT QUESTION!

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
mandingo, what about reports that you use the word 'nigger' just to get a cheap laugh
what if nigger meant next question?
what?
NIGGER!

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
mandingo, what about reports that you are a lazy bastard?
i'm not going to dignify that question with an affirmation
but, mandingo, there are numerous reports of you shirking even the most simple of tasks
name one!
well, how about...
NEXT QUESTION!

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
me so howny, me could hump an elephant
hump hump elephant!
me so howny, me could hump a dinosaur
hump hump dinosaur!
me so howny, me could hump Dom DeLuise
you're on your own there

 

by mandingo
10-03-05
♫ what would you do, if i sang out of tune ♫
good to know

 

by mandingo
10-04-05
hey Pete, what ya up to?
just doing my Pete thing, living my Pete life. some people see the world the way it is and ask why, i see the world the way it isn't and say Pete.
but i thought your real name was Andrew and you just went by Pete?
you
bastard.

 

by mandingo
10-04-05
mandingo, what's your stance on n00b forum etiquette?
zzz
mandingo, are you sleeping at your own press conference??
huh... what... no! what kind of man do you think... well, okay, yes. i was dreaming about orphans in a burning building
saving them?
be a bit counterproductive, wouldn't it?

 

by mandingo
10-04-05
burn, baby.
mandingo, did you doze off again??
burn for papa.

 

by mandingo
10-04-05
i've only had one Screwdriver and i already have a slight buzz. i love being a lightweight, it barely costs anything to get drunk
i get it, Zimri. you don't have to rub it in
What can I say, your sister likes it
the only thing my sister rubs in is ground beef for the dog to lick off
seriously?
she loves that dog in ways illegal even in the southern states

 

by mandingo
10-05-05
hey, mandingo. how are things going with those two Chinese delegates you're wooing to finance your campaign?
well, Interrogative African, it's been a chore, let me tell you. the first thing Phun and Chung wanted when they got off the plane were hookers. and they both had very specific desires.
Phun just wanted straight half-and-half: half the girls to blow him, half to screw him. but Chung was a stranger cat. he wanted all the girls to wear strapons and take him from behind.
it's okay though - i hired 20 hookers and gave them very specific instructions on what to do.
what did you tell them?
everybody half Phun tonight, everybody wang Chung tonight

 

by mandingo
10-05-05
hey, i just made the winning entry for BTC 42. go into the computer room and check it out
OK, that was just wrong!

 

by mandingo
10-06-05
dead celebrity, gay robot. gay robot, dead celebrity.
now i want a nice clean fight, boys

 

that Liberace robot seems to have blown your circuits.
and how!
by mandingo, 10-06-05

 

by mandingo
10-07-05
Santa.
Ted.
i said if you left to never come back.
Ted, i'm pregnant.

 

by mandingo
10-08-05
out of the way, bitch
fuck off.
bitch, who do you think you're talking to? i will slap you upside the head so hard, you'll wish you'd never been hatched
bring it, cocksucker.
later
what have we done?
something wonderful!

 

by mandingo
10-09-05
welcome to stripcreator!

 

logging into AIM...
i've got a beer!
then you've got a chance!
by mandingo, 10-10-05

 

by mandingo
10-10-05
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
i assured her it wasn't
then backed away from the car before she turned the ignition.

 
by mandingo, 10-10-05

 

by mandingo
10-11-05
BALLS!
BALLS!
BALLS!
wake up, boss, you're daydreaming!
Balls.

 

by mandingo
10-11-05
Boss, i hate you so a lot!
how'd it go?
not so good.
meanwhile, in the Florida panhandle...
he's thinking 'Balls' you stupid fuck!

 

by mandingo
10-11-05
hey, Rufus. how's the hospital treating you?
must... tell... you... what... he's... thinking... entire... universe... depends... on... it...
what's he thinking, Rufus! tell me!
he's... thinking... GACK!
Balls.

 

by mandingo
10-11-05
so here we are, on the train. more scenic and with plenty of time to talk.
yup
god i hate you
Balls.

Showing page 8.

« Previous Next »