All comics by LuckyGuess

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by LuckyGuess
4-17-06
Like I was saying, just head to the basement office for your official training. There's only one exit... erm... door, so you can't miss it.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-17-06
Something wrong, Nate? You haven't touched your food.
I wonder if they have WiFi here. I have a bill proposal I need to finish proofreading.
You went for the internship, didn't you?

 

by LuckyGuess
4-17-06
Pick your name.
Oooh! I'll be "Billboy!" You know, cause I proofread bills.
This had better work.
Halo, huh? I dunno, I haven't played this in a while.
Whoa! You sniped me with a shotgun!
What's this? I feel strangely accomplished.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-17-06
Billboy has killed TWRule. Billboy has killed Gandalfnager. Billboy has killed Redneck666. Running Riot!
Sarah Ninja has killed Billboy.
It has been undone.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK? You were lucky! Fuck you and your gay little plasma grenade!

 

by LuckyGuess
4-18-06
I hear Shiva's arms aren't covered by the union.
They just say that because they're pussies.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-19-06
Vic, what are my good qualities?
You're funny, smart, good looking, and really nice.
What is undesirable about those qualities?
The smart and nice parts.
Fantastic.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-20-06
You coming to see Silent Hill with us tonight?
Nah. Your friends are weird.
We have to go to the latest possible show because that way my friend Tim can come. Oh don't worry, he's only a friend, but still worth making everyone wait two hours for.
I'm bringing about twenty habitual scene crashers with me who may or may not have any money.
Fair enough.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-23-06
Senior Ball was sooooooo great! I can't believe you didn't go!
I can't believe I didn't spend $400 to go to something I don't enjoy with people I hate either.
You take the fun out of everything.
You take the coherent thought out of everything.
You missed the monkey in a vest.
Well now I'll just have to kill myself.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-23-06
What could you have possibly done that's better than Senior Ball?
I went out to a movie and dinner with my closest friends. It was everything I enjoy in an evening.
I'm not one of your closest friends?
Let me pull my imaginary list out of my ass and check for your name.
Okay.
Yet one more reason I didn't go.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-23-06
Look around you, Jared- Prom people. These are people who, for one night, get to feel important by spending extravagent amounts of money on nothing and top the night off with awkward sex.
I think I'll get the molten chocolate cake.
Then, the next morning, they wake up the same insignificant people they were before, minus $400.
But they also have apple crisp... decisions, decisions.
All they get in the end are embarassing memories and pus filled sores.
I guess that rules out the molten chocolate cake.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-26-06
MayorMcLucky has joined #stripcreator.
Hi!
Connection Failure. Host has failed to load. Please restart program and check connections.
Thanks, dick.
Just wait until you get back on. You can enter words and not see responses. It'll be great.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-27-06
Um, Dan, can we talk for a minute?
Sure. What's up?
I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.
What? I've been with the firm for over a millenia!
We outsourced the your job to a very nice Kurdish fellow who's literally working for peanuts.
Qi' Mahi? That son of a bitch! I gave him a three week extension on his prostate cancer!

 

by LuckyGuess
4-27-06
Howdy ho, neighbor!
This is totally killing my boner.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-27-06
Ted! Get your hyperintelligent ass out here!
You spilled coffee all over the monitor. Care to explain why?
I have vestigial forelimbs, numbnuts. I can barely hold this mug.
They why do you carry it?
I adds an air of sophistication to eating raw flesh.

 

by LuckyGuess
4-30-06
Wasn't that great?
That was the most disgusting movie I've ever seen.
I liked the part where Pyramid Head ripped of Anna's skin and threw it at the church. And the part where the barbed wire went up Clairabelle's vagina.
My speckled lemonade no longer appeals to me.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-02-06
Zang!
Hey there, past self. This is future self.
Wow! Are you going to share secrets of my future?
Why are we at this restaurant?
Because this is where you're going to eat every time you become disillusioned with life in general.
This may happen fairly often. I reccomend the onion rings.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-04-06
I never understood how anyone could be tempted by an apple.
My boy, it wasn't really an apple. That was the result of a censorship lobby by the Jumpers For Jesus.
Don't lick the throbbing tit of knowledge.
But it's a throbbing tit!
How does the snake work in?
It wasn't a snake.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-04-06
You're a Jew! You're cheap!
Dee da dee!
You aren't laughing because you're a racist.
Sorry, but I don't have any change for you right now.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-07-06
Why are you standing on the balcony? We didn't pay for your hotel room so you could sleep outside.
DeMasters used the bathroom.
I've been out here for about three hours.
That's what that smell was? It's all over the parking lot.
I call it "The Tang."

 

by LuckyGuess
5-09-06
Gurglesplat! Death! Pain! Agony! Scream!
And now a word from our sponsors.
Parents, make sure you spend more time with your kids. Now back to Hyperviolence Extreme 2: The Killifying.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-11-06
I'd like one...
What the fuck are you wearing?
McDonalds has decided to dress it's employees in a more "family friendly" attire to promote it's meals and atmosphere.
I know the food is disgusting, and I never ate here for the sticky floor and ripped booth cushions.
You should work in management.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-12-06
Never again will the world stand by as millions of innocent people are slaughtered.
Never again will the world allow a tyrranous government to systematically murder an entire race.
Never again will the world remain silent as others suffer and die in a far off land.
Never again will the world abandon a people to perish.
Unless they're black.
True dat. Let's get some lunch.

 

Fuck me, cowboy.
I need alchoholic beverages and mind altering substances, stat!
by LuckyGuess, 5-13-06

 

My console of choice is the Wii. Super Smash Brothers Brawl and the $150 price tag clinched it for me.
Do you want to take home the beef and broccoli? Nobody at my house will eat it.
by LuckyGuess, 5-13-06

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
I just found something disturbing on the computer.
Hm?
Samael has been posting kiddie porn all over the internet.
Gross. Why would he do that?
Oh, wait. He's a fallen angel.
ROFL.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
You think we should bring it up?
Nah. He's just a little messed up over Katie Couric leaving The Today Show. This is just his way of dealing with it.
You're probably right.
I know I'm right. Anyway, I have to go pick up the kids. It's my weekend with them.
How's Lilith?
She got breast implants with my child support payments, but other than that she's still a huge fucking bitch.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
This whole kiddie porn thing has been bothering me. Any advice?
Confront him, my son. It's the only way to find peace.
Okay, number one: I'm not your son, Godboy.
Sorry.
That's okay. Hey, what websites were those pics on?

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
Just do it. Just do it. Come on, just do it. Just do it. Don't hesitate. Do it.
*Ahem*
Jerking off again, Beezy?
No, I was just...
Don't lie to yourself. Lying is immoral.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
Oh, hi Beezy. What's up?
Samael, we need to talk.
I found your Yafro page, and quite frankly was a little concerned with what I saw on it. I did a little snooping, and found a lot more, too.
Nicely done.
Ghaaa! Creepy.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
Hello, Deuteronomy.
Hiya, Beez. Any luck with Sam?
Not really. I told him what I saw and all he said was, "Nicely done."
Ooh, creepy. He IS a fallen angel, though. If anyone has the right to kiddie porn, it's him.
Would you want to see your daughter on his page?
My daughter has a tentacle for a head, so in terms of employment that may be the best thing for her.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
Padre? Can we talk?
Ah, Beelzebub. Step right over.
I went to Samael's Yafro page and found a bunch of kiddie porn on it. He won't admit it's bad and acted like it wasn't a big deal when he brought it up.
Well, remember that we are in Hell, so kiddie porn isn't really all that much of a problem.
You're right, Padre... It's just that it gets under my skin, that's all.
And that's perfectly normal. By the way, you didn't happen to check his friends on Yafro, did you? Not that I'm one of them or anything.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06
...and it's just been bothering me.
Well, if you REALLY want to know... kiddie porn is the single... GREATEST thing... ever to be conceived by modern man! It is a... TESTAMENT... to how advanced we all... TRULY... are!
Sorry, I was staring at your neck lump.
It's name is Steve. Steve DeGraeve.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-14-06

 

by LuckyGuess
5-16-06
Doo-dee-doo.
Where'd everybody go?
It's almost as if they all figured out that we aren't actually learning anything.
I have a hangover, so today's project is a nap.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-16-06
The president thinks he can stop illegal aliens with unmanned drones over the border.
The ones he didn't find Osama with or the ones that they can't accurately pinpoint enemy movements in Iraq with?
Maybe he'll combine them into one super incompetent drone.
Throw in some Jesus and you have the perfect heir to the Bush throne.
The Jesuseeker.
Aiding in the deportation of a gay near you.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-19-06
I hear that Samael left hell.
Yeah, he was upset that you spread that information about him around.
It weirded me out.
I'm not saying it didn't, I'm just saying that he's a fallen angel. He's shunned from the grace of God himself. A little kiddie porn is nothing for a guy like that.
It still weirded me out.
Maybe you missed the point.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-19-06
Hey there, Cthulhu.
Why the fuck did you run out Sam, Beez?
He weirded me out.
Well that's pretty fucking fucked right there. First it was Lechaesis, then Gogmagog, and now this. What the fuck do you want? A xenophobic empty hell?
Didn't you say something about Sam being a douche a while back?
We're not talking about me right now.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-19-06
He's getting to me, Deuteronomy. The guy is just running people out left and right.
You mean Lechaesis and Gogmagog?
Yeah!
First of all, Gogmagog was an egotistical prick that spent all of his time insulting people who gave him helpful advice, and Lechaesis never actually left.
It's the concept that pisses me off.
Didn't you used to say that you'd rather eat a vomit burger with extra poop sauce than spend another second with Samael?

 

by LuckyGuess
5-19-06
Fuck these guys. Calling me a hypocrite? Bullshit! Someone knows I'm right!
Lechaesis?
Cthulhu?
Why aren't you gone by now?
Thanks, dick. Nice to see you too.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-19-06
Sir? We have a little problem right now.
WHAT IS THINE PROBLEM, MY CHILD?
Someone from sector 9 Googled 'Hot Underage Girls Taking It In The Ass.' Twice.
SO? IT'S FUCKING HEAVEN. NOBODY GIVETH A SHIT.
I have a big list of other stuff too...
ART THOU FINISHED? I JUST ORDERED "SEXY HOT TUB PARTY" ON THE SPICE CHANNEL AND WANTETH MY 15 DOLLARS WORTH OF NUDIES.

 

Sodomites are gay.
by LuckyGuess, 5-20-06

 

by LuckyGuess
5-23-06
It's a pleasure to be on Ripley's Believe it or Not, Phil.
Sure is.
Why are you two behind those fencelines?
We're actually connected at the Penis, Phil.
Sure are.
Doesn't that present some challenges?
I always feel weird when I jerk off another dude and myself at the same time, but it's the worst when Randy farts out the bukkake. Our walls look like they have bleach stains.
Sure do.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-26-06
I'm going to die alone.
No you aren't.
The guy I like hasn't called or texted me back yet. I'm going to die alone.
You aren't going to die alone.
What do you know? You have a little groupie fanclub that follows you around everywhere.
I actually prefer the term "Harem."

 

by LuckyGuess
5-26-06
Did you tell someone that I was part of a Harem?
No. I said I preferred to call my female entourage a Harem instead of a bunch of groupies.
That's so denegrating to women! Why would you say that?!
Because yesterday I had my ass grabbed three times, by chest rubbed four times, and you shoved my head in between your breasts twice.
Don't tell me you didn't like it.
If I didn't like it I would have fought back.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-26-06
Doo-dee-doo...
ASSGRAB!
Ack!
Haha. By the way, did you say I was part of a harem?
I didn't mention you specifically, but it was implied.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-29-06
In three days I'll graduate high school, Nate.
It's a good feeling, let me tell you.
Is there anything I left... unfinished? Anything I need to say?
Nah, I'd say it's taken care of.
*Cue Sephiroth Boss Music*
Good! I'd hate to have anything that might come back to haunt me if I ever visit.

 

The test came back negative.
Thank God.
by LuckyGuess, 6-02-06

 

by LuckyGuess
6-02-06
I like your eyebrows.
They're defunct PS3 prototype controllers.
Awesome. Wanna come over and play games?
*rumble rumble*
I'll take that as a head shot or a critical hit.

 

by LuckyGuess
6-04-06
What are you doing?
The Executive branch has decreed that all congressmen and supreme court judges be deresolutionized immediately.
What about the senators?
Oh yeah, 'cause they're a HUGE threat.

 

by LuckyGuess
6-04-06
You buried him upside down on cursed land? What in God's name did you think was going to happen?
I dunno. A Skittle rainbow?
You'd better hope that he doesn't come back as a zombie of something.
I put gold coins on his eyes like in Nacho Libre. We should be good.
One copy of The New Yorker... that'll be one and a half 17th century gold coins.
Do you have any Winterfresh? There's a terrible taste in my mouth.

Showing page 9.

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