All comics by Matchbook_Romance

Profile

 

So your kind is from Asia?
"Kind?" What does that mean?
I'm just saying, you know, your kind.
Well, alright. So your kind is from Africa right?
Hey man, was that a racist comment?
No, not at all.

 

Is there something on your mind?
Yeah, why are a big majority of asian people so short?
I don't really know. It's in our genes, I guess?
I see.
I have a question for you. Why are all you blondes so annoying?
That's easy, it's in our genes!

 

Hey, how come I always have to take my shoes off when I come to your house?
It's kind of like a custom. It just shows respect towards the people of the house.
Whacky idea.
Yeah, what a WHAAACKY idea huh?!
How would you feel if I didn't take off my shoes?
How would feel about prosthetic feet?

 

Yo, I've got a question.
Yo, what's on your mind?
How come all you asians know karate? For example, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Godzilla?
Err, well... those are just some asians. You see...
Do you know any karate?
I dabble in some Tae Bo.

 

Why do a lot of you asians have like big, long, Dragon Ball Z, poofy, spikey, crazy go-nuts hair?
We like to make up for the smaller things we have in life.
by Matchbook_Romance, 4-28-05

 

So for the summer, I've decided to lend my services back to you.
Oh, is that so?
But only for this summer, and this summer only. Here's your chance to take back the best worker you've ever had.
We've got plenty of workers right now, so your services are not needed.
Well in that case, I've also decided that you guys are a bunch of douche bags that thirst for chunky period blood.
*Click*

 

Psst... can we, you know, talk?
Sure.
Wait, where are you going? I thought we were going to talk?
We are!
WAIT!
Go home so I can talk to you on AIM.

 

Hey Joey, do you know who Sean Combs is?
Ummm, no.
He's also known as Puffy Daddy or P. Diddy.
Oh yeah him! He's the Livitra spokesman right?

 

I love calling you pet names! SWEETIE PIE!
Hehe!
BOO BOO! HONEY PIE! POOPY!!!
So cute!
MR. SEXYHAIRBROWNEYEDTIGHTASSTASTYPENIS!!!
Erm, that's a new one.

 

Joke time! Why do hardcore kids wear camo?
Why?
Because they don't want to be scene!
Where'd you go?

 

My, my. It seems we have one male in our classroom ladies.
Uhhh...
Splendid! Class, isn't it nice to have diversity in the classroom?
Yeah, the one male to twenty-five female ratio is great.
We're definately going to have fun with you Mr. Man!
I want my mommy.

 

You know what would be awesome?
What?
If there was a stripper that was really funny and totally hot in real life.
Hmmm...
See: Matchbook_Romance

 

I need a break...
Let's see, a break from... smoking, drinking, sex, school, work, exercising, driving too fast, jay-walking, playing pool, watering the bonsai, playing Egyptian Rats, twiddling your thumbs, or from us.
From us.
Haha, I was right! Wait... aww shit.

 

Funny thing happened to me today, I check the mail and I see a letter that's addressed to me.
And it was a letter I was supposed to send to another person. I wondered for a second why I got it back. I had a stamp, correct address and everything.
Then I looked and I put my own address on the middle of the envelope. The P.O. system can be so fucking cruel.

 

Hey, you haven't made a comic in over three months, what's the deal?
Eh, I really don't know.
Do you not care anymore? Are you tired of this site? Is there no source of inspiration?
Actually, I still love this site very much and I wander in and out from time to time. It must be my lack of inspiration.
Inspiration is everywhere, you just have to look!
I bet if you get naked, turn around and bend over, you'd give me some inspiration.

 

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME, ALL I WANT IS BANG, BANG, BANG!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME, ALL I WANT IS BANG, BANG, BANG!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOUR NAME, ALL I WANT IS BANG, BANG, BANG!
My name is Jeff.

 

So I went out with this girl a couple of days ago.
Sweet. What is she like?
Her personality is awesome, pretty smile, great curves, and a cute laugh to boot. But there's one problem, she's a drama major.
Whoah, whoah. There's nothing wrong with that! What college does she go to?
University of PMSing Bitches.
I hear that's a hard college to get into.

 

I'm the girl you're mother warned you about.
Oh, so you're the one with the diseases.
by Matchbook_Romance, 10-18-06

 

Let's think of something new to do this time.
Okay.
Anything?
Wait, wait.
How about now?
I want to crawl inside of you and fuck you from the inside.

 

Do you find it awkward that I'm dating your most recent ex-girlfriend?
Nope, not at all. I'm happy for you both.
That's really refreshing to hear. I'm glad you can be civil and mature about this. You, my friend, are A Class material.
Why thank you.
How about another round of drinks? It's on me.
I poked your mother's brown eye.

 

Whenever I come over, you're always playing with your dolls.
They aren't dolls, they're action figues.
Well, how about you go out and meet women instead of playing with your damn action figures?
My action figures treat me better than women do.
How so?
My action figures never say no when I want to douse them in camel fat and probe them with my copper rod.

 

Hmm. Why do you smell like booze, cigarettes, and... ass?
It's my birthday.
by Matchbook_Romance, 1-02-11

 

Hey man.
LOOK. I know. I've been away for awhile. Many things and events have occured over the years.
Huh? What are you talking about?
Of all people! You should know! I can't believe you're here judging my life's decisions. I've almost eliminated all my vices, have a great girlfriend, and I'm happy! Get off my back!
Well.. I...
Is there anymore leftover turkey?

 
Lip that ass.

 

Remember the good ol' myspace, xanga, and AIM days?
Yes I do. Those sites definitely paved the way for people to be more addicted to the internet.
I feel like those places gave a public forum for people to complain about their lives, show off what they've done, and trick people into thinking that they're "deep."
That's true. I'm glad all that "Look at me! I'm important!" stuff has passed.
But...
Hey, can we take a picture together? I don't have a group selfie with a rooster. More likes for me!

 

Was the foreplay good?
Not really.
How many times did you come?
Whoosh... none.
Did I do anything right?
Well... you put the condom on right!

 

Drinking again tonight?
Yep.
Well, what's the special occasion? Is this some sort of celebration?
Does it always have to be a special occasion or celebration to drink?
Not really but drinking randomly for no reason on a Tuesday night could be a sign of alcoholism.
Fine. It's a special occasion because it's Tuesday night and I'm celebrating drinking by getting drunk.

 

Son, having sex with your mother is the greatest pleasure in my life.
Dad. I told you not tell me about that kind of stuff.
After blowing me, she loves getting on top and I usually finish her pounding her missionary style. Right before I blast in her, we stare longingly at each other.
Dad!
You have her eyes.

Showing page 9.

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