All comics by Namgubed

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Why did they spend so much time and money building a retractable roof at the All England Lawn Tennis Club?
To keep the centre court from being wimbled on, don't you know!
by Namgubed, 6-29-11

 

by Namgubed
6-29-11
Hey, look! Just got this "Watchmen" DVD from the bargain bin!
Saw it once in the theater, and that was enough for me. Seriously, who watches "The Watchmen"?
Never saw it. Got halfway through the comic, and lost interest. How about you?
Me neither. Say, am I crazy, or do I see a huge flying squid out that window?

 

by Namgubed
7-15-11
Leaders lead!
Uh-oh! I think he's gonna say it.
Followers follow!
Yeah, he's definitely gonna say it.
... Generally speaking.
He said it.

 

by Namgubed
7-15-11
Just got the director's cut of THX-1138 from the bargain bin.
I thought the director's cut was called "Logan's Run."
Come now, it represents a lot of what's great about indie films - like '70's boobage!
It'th when I firtht conthidered Robert Duvall ath a THX thymbl !

 

by Namgubed
8-13-11
Mustard
It's the third bottle on the right.
Musetard
Duh, my name's Calliope!
Mousetard
Duh-uhhh-uh!

 

by Namgubed
8-17-11
Mousetards
Duh-uhhh-uh!
Durr-de-hurr durr!
Mousetardis
'Ello, Scotland Yard? This booth seems frightfully roomy inside ...
Dr. Who is not available, please leave a message at the tone ...
Mousetardies
That's your third time being late this week! You're going to detention hall!
Rats!

 

by Namgubed
8-20-11
Turd
Dang, Bessie! Did you gulp down the whole north forty, or what?
Tard U
I now confer upon you the certificate of simple shape recognition! Congratulations, and duh.
Duhh!!
Rust Ad
Buy our Sunny WalkBoy today and get a free six pack of RememberZ 90-minute hi-fi tape cassettes!
Now with chromium dioxide!

 

Tell us again, if you would, Ms. Jolie, just how you recently turned invisible!
It all started when I adopted a Korean boy named Tran ...
by Namgubed, 1-21-12

 

Hmm ... Was it Tim or Katie who told me what kind of insect this was?
by Namgubed, 1-21-12

 

by Namgubed
1-21-12
Anakin, honey, would you mind doing the dishes?
NOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO!!!
No, of course I wouldn't mind, sweetheart.

 

I have a headache.
Well, I got a schlong THIS BIG and it's got Excedrin written all over it!
by Namgubed, 1-24-12

 

by Namgubed
1-28-12
Sing to the tune of "Aquarius"
Chris fisted Don and he got AIDS? That's hilarious!
AIDS?!? That's hilarious!
Hilarious!!1!!11!1!
#!£@R!0u555

 

by Namgubed
3-05-12
Meanwhile, back in Worms ...
As representative of the Niebelungen, I present you with the Rhinegold!
Now at last, I, Alberich, can forge a ring of power!
Later!
Hey, this isn't the Rhinegold, it's a dirty sock! Why, those rotten little ...

 

by Namgubed
5-16-12
♫ Little bunny Foofoo hoppin' thru the forest, pickin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head! ♫
Ow!!
♫ Little bunny Foofoo, I don't wanna see you pickin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head! ♫
Then mind yer own fuckin' bitchness!

 

by Namgubed
5-16-12
♫ So any time you're feelin' bad, 'stead of feelin' sad, just remember that ram -
Baaa!
♫ Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt
♫ Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt
♫ Oops, there goes a billion kilowatt
Fuck !!

 

by Namgubed
5-18-12
I know we're trying to reduce emissions from the nuclear reactor ...
... but did you really think that putting huge paper bags over the steam outlets would make them hyperventilate?

 

Hey, Maura! My character may be used to poke fun at lesbians!
I'd rather be poked by a strap-on.
by Namgubed, 5-20-12

 

by Namgubed
5-20-12
Bishop takes queen.
Hummina hummina hummina ...
And NO, I'm not endorsing sodomy!

 

by Namgubed
8-05-12
Depending on the judges' evaluation of the Ugandan team's effort, this could mean a new all-time high score ...
... in the Olympic Elephant Back-Half Camouflage event!

 

by Namgubed
5-10-16
Most of the great authors were pretty infamous drunkards, but there were exceptions. O. Henry's lips never touched a drop of alcohol.
Yeah, that's because of W.C. Fields.
W.C. Fields ?!?
He gave him a straw.

 

by Namgubed
5-10-16
Hey, Dr. Freud, how many two-letter English words start with "i"?
Your list can only be complete ...
if "id" is in it.

 

Jerry Garcia! Dude, you've come back from the dead!!
Well actually, I'd be grateful to join them again.
by Namgubed, 5-12-16

 

by Namgubed
5-14-16
FFWWWEEEP!
Come in, Enterprise! I'm surrounded by a mob of rabid ravenous tribbles! Request immediate transport!!
Unfortunately for him, a meteorite struck the transporter antenna!
Fascinating,  Captain! The transporter beam has fused the DNA of Ensign Expendable with dozens of phaser-baked tribbles!
That explains a lot.
And now it lives on top of Donald Trump's head.

 

by Namgubed
5-14-16
After losing the election to Donald Trump, whose landslide victory was HUGE, by the way ...
The Donald graciously appoints Hillary and Bill Clinton to the post of Ambassadors to Libya and Greenland.
Couldn't you even be trusted to operate the vote-stealing machine??
Sorry, honey, I must have been asleep at the switch!

 

by Namgubed
5-16-16
Meanwhile, at the NSA ...
Check this out - another lame Chinese attempt to hack our missile silos!
Let me see that! Ooh, looks like they failed to cover their cyber-tracks!
Bet I can backtrack their IP and reverse-hack their nukes!
Just make sure you disable THEIR hack first!
 ♫ Maybe, you'll think of me, when you're all alone ...  ♫

 

by Namgubed
5-19-16
One of the lesser-known mid-game strategies in chess was conceived by the late Xavier Dodd.
Bishop to queen's fifth.
Ooh, pinned my rook!
Check.
Even more effective than the Hungarian Defense or the Flying Liver Attack, this tactic often left his opponents exclaiming...
DODD GAMBIT !!

 

by Namgubed
5-20-16
Meanwhile, at a local sandwich shop....
What's wrong, little boy?
My sub needs more "secret sauce," mister!
Well, traditionally, one of a submarine's main ingredients is seamen.
Great! Slather it on!
Sure enough ...
Next!
Five dollar footlong!

 

by Namgubed
5-22-16
You wouldn't believe what just happened to me!
Try me !!
We find the defendant GUILTY AS CHARGED!
Off to the hoosegow you go, scum!
Wait! What?!?
You wouldn't believe what just happened to me!
You won't believe what's about to happen to you!

 

We have shown that given the laws of probability, and the time constraint of the age of the universe, that evolution is mathematically impossible!
What, don't you believe in miracles?
by Namgubed, 5-22-16

 

by Namgubed
5-27-16
Remember that time when We created the universe?
Yes, in fact, I remember it like it was yesterday ...
Give or take a few hours.

 

by Namgubed
8-02-16
Meanwhile, in one gazillion BC ...
Our hive queen is pleased with the 3.2 billion dinosaur egg cheese omelet we prepared for her.
Great, but that was ALL our eggs. We're gonna be extinct, you fool!
Coincidentally, I have just received word that her fifth stomach exploded, and a shock wave of half-digested omelet and queen entrails has disabled our mother ship.
And so you have foolishly extincted yourselves, as well. Ain't karma the biatch! Maybe we should warn these hairless apes against a similar fate ....?
Naaah!
Naaah!

 

Captain Obvious meets a Captious Bovine!
You're a cow!
Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.
by Namgubed, 11-20-16

 

by Namgubed
11-20-16
Paper Towel
My dishes sparkle with Tree Flesh 5% recyclable paper towels!
Tapir / Powell
Today I'll be playing the part of a tapir, roger?
No, I'm Colin. Colin Powell.
Papal Tower
Habemus Papam?
Yeah, right.

 

by Namgubed
11-28-16
Meanwhile, in the DVD Extra Features...
♫ Las colinas están vivas ... ♫
Wait! Are you SURE you want to do the Spanish version of "The Sound of Music"?
¿Por que no?
Because I heard that the Spanish version is R rated.
¿Que que?
It's true! All the naughty kids like to watch the lady yodel, "Hijo Le"!

 

Do you think there's any political future for Hillary?
Who?
by Namgubed, 12-04-16

 

by Namgubed
12-06-16
Meanwhile, at the veterinary clinic....
Mr. Blanston, I'm afraid your dog has rabies.
Growl!
GODDAMNIT!!
But don't worry, we've found a new cure with an injection of this solution of stannous chloride!
MAD DOG TIN !!
Woof!

 

by Namgubed
12-26-16
Zzzzz...
*yawn* - ooh, last night was fantastic and I... are you OK?? Oh, NO!!
George Michael didn't wake me up before he went-went!

 

by Namgubed
1-15-17
W-where am I?
Greetings! So glad you could join us.
Am I in heaven?
Actually, you've gnawed your way to the top of Scarface's desk, and this is a cocaine-induced hallucination!
Say hello to my little friend!
Wheeee!

 

by Namgubed
1-25-17
I dropped 40 pounds on Jenny Craig!
... from the top of the Empire State Building.
Yeah, she's pretty much just a greasy red smudge on the sidewalk, now.

 

by Namgubed
1-27-17
?
#&!!*@$$!!

 

by Namgubed
1-30-17
I'm imposing a 90-day ban on immigration from certain countries with ties to terrorism.
I'm not supporting a "Muslim ban"!
You're fired.

 

by Namgubed
2-03-17
"... to console the family of the first casualty of war under his administra-tion, President Trump boards Marine One to Dover Air Force Base ..."
... Zzzzz ...
"... with his daughter, Ivanka."
... ZzzzzT *snort*
#&!!*@$$!! 24-hour news cycle!

 

by Namgubed
2-11-17
WHOA! Take a look at Ivanka in that dazzling white pantsuit! My my my my my...
Wonder if they got it in Hillary's size? -- Who'm I kiddin'? Nordstrom's makes clothes, not CIRCUS TENTS, heh heh.
Ooooh shit, I'm busted, ain't I? Don't look, just play it off ...
.....

 

by Namgubed
2-14-17
Gen. Flynn, any comments on your misrepresentation of your talk with the Russian ambassador?
Um ... I'm fired?
What he said.

 

by Namgubed
2-19-17
Meanwhile, at the Havana Customs Office ...
Anything to declare, suspicious-looking American?
I'm delivering this vintage percussion instrument that's on loan to Cuba from the Smithsonian.
B-but don't take it all apart and scan the delicate pieces! It was used for the soundtrack of that famous roller-disco movie!
Just as I thought! The wooden parts were hollowed out and stuffed with black-market sex toys! I'm faxing the scans to your Homeland Security!!
Expectedly ...
Xenophobic Xavier Xeroxes X-rated expatriated Xanadu xylophone X-rays! Details at 10.

 

by Namgubed
2-23-17
Holy crap, Chen, what the heck happened to you?
Customer got pissed off 'cause his items were damaged in shipping.
Goodness gracious, freight galls a buyer!!
*Groan*

 

by Namgubed
3-04-17
Widely attributed to 18th century Rev. William A. Spooner, a spoonerism is a transposition of sounds between words in a phrase, with a humorous effect.
The Lord is our Shoving Leopard.
Rowr! Move it along, people!
They can, however, be traced further back to a little-known 2nd century Roman orator named Strenius.
What did Caesar ask the donkey ballerina?
I dunno, Strenius, what DID Caesar ask the donkey ballerina?
So as this turn of phrase gained more popularity, it was referred to as ......... "A joke of Strenius."
"Et bray, tutu?"
I am SO spinning in my grave right now.

 

by Namgubed
3-29-17
4:53 PM
The Asia Rock Reunion concert is tonight! I wanna leave by 5:30 to get good seats!
OK, I'll be ready.
almost ready, hon!
Come ON! I've wanted to see these guys for YEARS!!
6:53 PM
♪ It was the heeeeeeaaat of the moment ♫ ....
♫ ... terring me what you halt ferrt ... ♫

 

by Namgubed
5-15-17
July 2016
Hillary's conduct was nothing short of criminally negligent!
... But we shouldn't press charges.
October 2016 ________ May 2017
Huma Abedin forwarded Hillary's emails to Anthony Wiener - ugh - sorry, threw up in my mouth a little bit.
... and I can't reveal all the evidence we don't have for Trump's collusion with Russia!
Read my letter.
Dear Jim Comey, YOU'RE FIRED. Good luck, by the way.

 

by Namgubed
5-16-17
Meanwhile, at The Filthy Rag publishers ...
What do you think of my latest "blow and tell" manuscript, "Blue Dress, Blue Dress, Blue Dress"?
Honestly, Ms. Lewinsky, I found the material tired, boring, and your crayon scrawl nearly illegible.
So ...
If Hillary were indicted, the Clintons MIGHT be temporarily marketable again. Maybe you should try W.H. Smith's. Good day, Madam.
Seriously, whose cock do I ha-...
GOOD DAY, Madam!

Showing page 9.

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