All comics by Akodo_X

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by Akodo_X
5-10-01
One average night in the boarding school of doom...
Man, I really shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms that the school bully was putting in the cafeteria gruel.
Oh good, it's kicking in now.
All aboard the crazy train. You know what that means.
I'm going to be harassed by a short little cheshire Ozzy with feet coming out of his ears?
Look, buddy, it's your hallucination. Don't go dissin' on me because I'm the product of your own existential self-loathing and angst.

 

by Akodo_X
5-10-01
So I suppose you're going to tell me how much I suck.
Actually, that's your job. I'm supposed to be your cryptic psychiatric therapist.
Okay, I'm living a life of mediocrity in a boarding school where everybody hates me and I suck. What should I do?
Grow your hair out, listen to screeching noise and bite the heads off of bats.
You suck.
Correction. YOU suck. It's your hallucination, remember?

 

by Akodo_X
5-11-01
Okay, I think I've had enough of this acid trip for now.
It ain't over by a long shot, bub. But I gotta motor, Black Sabbath is playin' at Ozzfest and I get to spray topless chicks with water!
Pfft whatever. Ozzfest is going to suck anyways. Metal is dead.
I heard that!
Lemme guess, you're the sum product of all my neuroses?
Nah, I'm your libido. What, the bunny ear didn't give it away?

 

by Akodo_X
5-12-01
You're a pitiful looking specimen.
Yeah, well, whose fault is that?
C'mon, I'm a teenager in the ripest sexual period of his lifetime. I'd think my libido'd be a bit more robust than you.
Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? Too bad your boarding school is male-only.
So... what's wrong with that?
Way too much information for me. I'm outta here. Permanent.

 

by Akodo_X
5-30-01
Yay, more chicanery. Who are you supposed to be?
I, dear patron conscience, am supposed to be your confidence and assertiveness.
Finally somebody positive for once.
It's been a most difficult task trying to convince you that you're not the scum of the earth, sir.
Has it worked?
Yes, I have managed to upgrade your status of self-worth from 'scum of the earth' to 'crusty remains of month old rancid milk'. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go kill myself now.

 

by Akodo_X
6-08-01
Man, I must really suck. When I get out of this pipe dream, I'm gonna shape up and do right.
Don't count on it. You're right about you sucking, though I can help with that.
More of me? Who are you, my inner gloom cookie?
Nah, man. It's the ol' Mr. S come to pay you a visit in your moment of weakness.
Where were you during my other moments of temptation? That conscience lady beat the shit out of me because you weren't there to distract her.
Hey, man. I was busy getting Dubya elected. Even the Prince of Darkness can't be everywhere at once to trick poor souls into doing something extremely stupid.

 

by Akodo_X
6-08-01
So what the hell do you want anyways? I thought you were too busy to visit minor glitterboys like me.
Business has been slow. I heard you mumbling about wanting to not suck so I figured I'd have an easy kill.
So I'd get the fame, wealth and booty that I've been craving all my life?
You got it, chicolita. All for the low low price of your measly worn out soul!
Hot diggity. It's another timeshare on my soul but it's worth it. Where do I sign up?
Right here on the dotted line. Just sign in blood, my brutha.

 

by Akodo_X
6-26-01
I signed over my soul and my dibs on shotgun for the rest of my life. But it's worth it.
It sho' is. A pleasure doing business wit' ya.
So when do I get the good stuff that's coming to me?
Not so fast, my fren'. First you gotta go to Hell. Y'know, to get familiarized wit' da joint since you're gonna be there a while 'cause you O.D.ed on those 'shrooms.
What the hell? Doesn't that mean I signed over my soul for nothing because I'm already dead? You ripped me off!
What can I say? I'm evil. Welcome to Hell, kid. Don't mind the dog, he's pretty tame once you toss him a limb.

 

by Akodo_X
6-26-01
Meanwhile, in another portion of Hell...
Ah jeez, I knew I shouldn't have tried to DDR after eating. Where am I?
I Am yOUr crEAtIOn cOmE tO lIfE tO tOrmEnt yOU fOr thE rEst Of EtErnIty.
... Fuxxxor? I'm not Shrubby.
Oh bUggEr. whO thE hEll ArE yOU thEn?
His progenitor. He's a clone of me.
rIght, sOrry. I'll bE sUrE tO tEll hIm whO hIs dAddy Is whEn hE gEts hErE hImsElf.

 

by Akodo_X
1-09-02
Back to our hero, still wallowing in his own crapulence...
Man, hell is boring. I wish there was something to do to pass the time...
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
... I hope you won't think I'm too easy if I told you that I am seriously considering your proposal?
TOBOR CHANGE HIS MIND. YOUR CORNHOLE MAKES TOBOR SAD. TOBOR WILL NOT CORNHOLE YOU. GOODBYE.

 

by Akodo_X
1-09-02
Y'know, I thought hell would look a lot more interesting than this. Where's all the hellfire and pits of eternal flaying?
For that, you need to purchase our Plus Package. Until then, you're stuck with this limited but functional trial version.
Forget it.. At least it's not nagware.
You are sorely mistaken, my fren'. I'll call him in now.
... bugger.
Well. Fancy meeting you here, 'patron conscience.' You'll wish you were merely just buggered when I'm done with you.

 

by Akodo_X
1-11-02
So uh... hey. How's it been?
You have the audacity to ask me that?! After years of thankless blah blah blah hate spew yak ingrate...
... worthless slob blah blah demented perverse excuse for human being yak yak pansy ass stickboy...
Now where's that red robot...
... where are you going with my lower half?

 

by Akodo_X
5-07-03
It's been a while, hasn't it?
Dude, I've been stuck in Hell for over a year now. This is boring.
Well... there is a chance of parole, m'fren. But it's definitely not fo' the faint o' heart.
Lemme at it! Anything is better than rotting in this nondescript hellhole!
You sure? Well... okay then, fren'. Don't say the Prince of Darkness don't look out for his homies.
... ahh fuck.
Here kids, pick out what you want and pay the concessionist yourself! And hurry up, the movie starts in five minutes!

 

by Akodo_X
5-09-03
Hell was easy...
Can I help you, sir?
I WANT A REFUND AND I WANT IT NOW!
Err, may I ask the reason why?
I DIDN'T PAY 9 BUCKS TO WATCH A BUNCH OF COMMERCIALS BEFORE MY MOVIE!
No, but you did pay 24.50 for our old popcorn, stale nachos, flat cola and undercooked hot dogs. Sorry, no refunds on digested merchandise.
... uh oh, I don't think it's digesting right...

 

by Akodo_X
3-04-04
Welcome to American Movie Conglomo, how may I help you?
So, have you seen this movie I already bought tickets for? Is it worth my 9 bucks?
I don't watch movies.
Well that's no good! Stop slacking off, I need somebody to give me opinions!
Hey, where're you going?! Why am I suddenly back here?!
In the interest of guest service, I will go watch your movie and come back to tell you if it's any good. You just stand right there until I'm back.

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