All comics by Algirdas

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by Algirdas
4-14-05
I told him not to eat the muffin...
...
...bomb.

 

by Algirdas
4-14-05
...I was buried right here, and my soul was sent straight to Hell.
Dammit, for the last time, you're not in Hell. You're not dead. You weren't dead. You never died. Get it?
Oh yeah?
If this isn't Hell, then why did God stick me with you?

 

by Algirdas
4-14-05
... and I wound up banging her all night long...
Just look at him bragging about his sexual exploits. It's disgusting.
... and the next morning we came up with a great idea...
I loathe everything about him and his wife.
... we went out and found some dude, dragged him home, and banged him all night, too! He didn't seem to like it, though.
YOU DIDN'T ASK ME FOR PERMISSION FIRST, THAT'S WHY!

 

by Algirdas
4-14-05
Wretched beatnik mime...

 

by Algirdas
4-14-05
I'm waiting for my other half to arrive.

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
Hello, I'm looking for Father Dayton.
I am Father Dayton.
Oh, um....
What is wrong, my son?
It's just you look better in person than in the picture you posted on the online dating service.
I keep forgetting to update my profile there.

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
So I heard Thorr was here last night.
Yes, and it's always a pleasure to have him here. Especially when he shows off Mjolnir.
Mjolnir? Is that the hammer Thorr uses to slay giants?
Wait... I don't think we're talking about the same "Mjolnir".
Oh my....

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
Hey, what happened here?
Wretched beatnik mime.

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
You're not the butt I'm waiting for.
Damn...

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
I guess I should say something...
... and this was the spot where God Himself struck me down for being a blasphemer...
That can't be true.
Oh yeah? Why's that?
YOU are God!
Oh! Well, I guess that explains why I struck myself down.

 

by Algirdas
4-15-05
Hey Bubbael, I received a letter from God earlier today.
What did He have to say?
Thank you, Dan, for jogging my memory. I guess striking myself down wasn't the best of ideas. I'm still trying to remember the limit of my abilities. I'll keep you updated, my dearest friend.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Maybe we shouldn't have reminded Him. Is there anything else He wrote?
P.S. Tell that traitorous Bubbael that I thank him for the idea of smiting myself, and that he's next on my Vengeful List of Smiting, once I remember how to smite again.
Well, it was nice knowing ya.
This sucks.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
... so now God has amnesia from striking Himself down, and this angel Bubbael was the one who gave Him the idea in the first place.
Man, that's wild! Why did Bubbael give Him that idea?
Let's see.... It had something to do with God being bummed about making all humans look alike.
Wait... What?
Hey, don't look at me, Jiraz! We're dealing with the mind of God!
Something tells me the mind of God needs a good psychiatrist.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
Now you see the folly of your ways. I think that--
Hold that thought.
Hey Debbie, how would you like to be Satan?
COOL!
Wait... Did you just fire me?
Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
Excuse me, Mr. Dragon. You wouldn't happen to have seen my other half, would you?
Hmm, lemme think....
*burp*
I take that as a "yes".
Or you could take that as a "You were delicious". Your choice.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
...kkkkkkkkk...
*sigh*
...kkkkkkkkk...
I think my doll is defective.
No. I'm still gagging from the taste.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
Hallelujah! Jesus has returned!
Um... I think you have me mistaken for someone else. I'm Joshua.
But the licence plate on the car you got out of says "CHR-IST"
Er... it's a rental.
Hey, wait a minute! Joshua? You can't be Jesus! You're Jewish! Jesus was a Christian!
Thank Daddy for dipshits.

 

by Algirdas
4-16-05
This is your soul.
Shiny Happy People Holding Hands....
This is your soul after joining stripcreator.
I'm gonna hurl!
This is your soul after reading Algirdas' comic strips on stripcreator.
Welcome to Hell.
Any questions?

 

by Algirdas
4-17-05
Oh, cool! A doggie!
I am not a "doggie", little girl. I am a high-ranking demon that can rip your soul straight from your bod--
I said DOGGIE!
What the?...
Oh! Oh! I almost forgot! Some really old guy said I'm the new Satan! Isn't that cool, doggie?
You'd think that as a high-ranking demon, I wouldn't be the LAST to know of these changes.

 

by Algirdas
4-17-05
RAAAAR! TOBOR WILL NOW CORNHOL--
Wait... Did you just say ".rar", like the file type?
ER... MAYBE
Ah, well, I have a file type for you, then.
WHICH ONE?
.zip!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
Alright! You win! I can't defeat a monk who took a vow of silence!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
Will you have sex with me?
No.
Why not?
Everyone knows squirrels hide their nuts in hard-to-reach places. It's just not worth the effort.
Damn you, Howard Stern! DAMN YOU!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
I am Algirdas #1, and welcome to my humble yet blasphemous corner of stripcreator.
I'm surprised you've made it this far. Then again, I'm surprised I made it this far.
But enough about you. I felt it was nigh time for me to introduce myself.
There are actually six of us in Algirdas' head, and we get along well enough. However, Algirdas #6 can be a nuisance. He likes to jump in and say something lik--
HAHAHAHA!!! THIS COMIC STRIP IS DESTROYED!!!
*sigh* And this is why my shrink tossed me out the window. Repeatedly.

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
The Real Chuck (or an unreasonable facsimile) details the offer to the Nice Lady.
So, before you meet your special little guy, do you have any questions?
One? Just one? I thought I'd be taking care of and teaching multiple children.
Well, the thing is, this one's high on the 'needs care o'meter' so we want someone to focus on just him. Up for it?
Of course! I never back down for the care of a special boy.
Enter Algirdas.
HAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS COMIC STRIP IS DESTROYED!!!
Brad! BRAD! I don't give a damn if Algirdas is a sponsor! Boot him off before he ruins this place with his tomfoolery!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: So, before you meet your special little guy, do you have any questions?
Nice Lady: One? Just one? I thought I'd be taking care of and teaching multiple children.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Fascimile: ?ti rof pU .mih tsuj no sucof ot enoemos tnaw ew os 'retem'o erac sdeen' eth no hgih s'eno siht ,si gniht eht ,lleW
Nice Lady: Wait... What's going on here?...
I am so going to Hell for this.
Algirdas: HAHAHAHAHA!!! THIS COMIC STRIP IS DESTROYED!!!
Nice Lady: Dammit, Brad! I thought I told you to boot this bitch!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
When I tell people I voted for Bush, I usually wind up in arguments that go nowhere. I don't support or believe everything he does or says.
I just trusted Bush a bit more than Kerry. In the end, all I can say is that I opted for the snake I knew over the snake I didn't know.
Hell
hissss...
And there's plenty of snakes for you to get to know where you'll be going, Algirdas.
Huh?
I couldn't find a snake, so I used a blue ostrich head instead.
moh!

 

by Algirdas
4-18-05
Algirdas #3 and Algirdas #5
I heard you finally started posting on the stripcreator forums.
Yep. I finally got over my fear of rejection and made a few posts there.
Anything exciting happen?
We got a couple of good reviews. Oh, and I gave Chuckaduck some advice on his strip. He even might act on it.
Cool. So what's next on your agenda?
Preparing for the possible death of Chuckaduck's comic strip.

 

by Algirdas
4-19-05
YES! I've escaped the prison my other selves put me in!
I will never be contained! I will always return to destroy something! ALWAYS!
So what should be destroyed next? I don't know! I'm so giddy with excitement, I could... I could....
My underwear is destroyed.

 

by Algirdas
4-22-05
Yes.... Yes.... President George W. Bush.... No.... Yes.... As soon as Possible.
Walmart: Customer Service
Alright, Mr. Cheney, if anyone tries to return the President here, I'll let you know. Thank you for calling Walmart, and have a nice day.
Hi. I'd like to exchange the Pope for a less conservative one. Do you have any in stock?

 

by Algirdas
12-13-12
Algirdas has returned to Stripcreator only to find the world in turmoil!
The Pope has his own Twitter account now.
Great. I'll be sure to... um... look. Yeah.
Algirdas desperately searches for some kind of stability, anything to keep him grounded in reality.
I never had a daddy to give me baby sugar.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
But why he's trying to find it at Stripcreator is beyond me.
I think you're the only constant in this unpredictable universe.
moh?

 

by Algirdas
12-13-12
is that richard lee still at it, i spoke to chris cornell and he hates seattle too
Oh. Hi, Courtney.
maybe im old or pure or someshit but wow. the laywers have promised theyd go for it and the fbi this time its different its federal.
Courtney, plea--
i cant deal, i wont cry this time, the only time i felt anything was when i had a spitirtuL ephihany singing "Jeremy" i hope you liked cos i saw ghosts for the first time
Just do some damn drugs, Courtney. Any drugs. Hell, do all the drugs. Just stop talking.

 

by Algirdas
12-14-12
In his travels for sanity, Algirdas visits Santa Claus at the North Pole.
Hello, Algirdas! Welcome to my humble abode!
Hi, Santa. How's Christmas coming along?
A man can live in a cellar and still dream of falling!
Uh....
Of course, sanity won't be found here.
Mimes taste like licorice and marshmallows!
That does it. Next year, Hannukah for sure.

 

by Algirdas
12-14-12
I would like to protest the idea put forth in the previous strip to prevent any misconceptions.
Mimes most certainly do not taste like licorice & marshmallows. We're human beings, not food!
Oh, it's you. So what do you have to say for yourself?
How could anyone not see this coming?
Roast at a low heat for a few hours, basting often to maintain succulence! Delicious!

 

by Algirdas
12-14-12
Inspiration for these strips comes from various sources.
It's all part of God's plan.
Yeah, I'll be sure to tell the 9 million children who die before the age of 5 each year the good news.
But maybe I should stop using Twitter for inspiration.
Don't think of it as dying. Think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.
Wait, what?

 

by Algirdas
12-17-12
I have arms.
Well, good for you.
Do you want to fight my arms?
Um... no.
Damn it! My arms beat me up again!
I don't even want to know how that just happened.

 

by Algirdas
12-17-12
I wish I had gone to my Mar-mitzvah.
Mar-what?
Mar-mitzvah. It's a bar mitzvah with Marmite.

 

by Algirdas
12-18-12
The world is a pie, dispensed without your teeth.
Bow down! Or I will unleash my zoinky army of surly babies!
Your what?
Thank you, Discordianquotes.com
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
I've noticed.

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