All comics by BenderSkweeky

Profile

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-19-03
Any similarity to existing persons is purely coincidental
Hi, I'm NOT a jail bitch
And I'm Ugly the Sweed.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-19-03
Marvelous Melvin, our admired superhero, meets Nikked D-Cup...(any similarities with existing persons is purely coincidental)
Hi lady, I wanna show ya ma goods, don't ya wanna come home wid me?
I doubt if you'll have anything to show at all...
Ow c'mon lady, come home wid me, I'll show ye something!
Hmm, I must admit you made me curious, so ya, let's go.
Well, why don't you just show?
Just MY luck she thought I wanted to show off my STAMP collection.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-19-03
Today: Bumper the Evil Robot wants to post some PORN PICS. El_Honcho, one of the Global Dominators, tells him it's against board regulations...
Hehehe, today I'm going to spam the board with PORN PICS!
As a member of the moderating team I tell you: You can't do that, it's against board regulations.
Bumper isn't very impressed by that comment...
Woohoo, you scare me! What are you going to do about it, spank me?
Well, if I recall correctly, there ARE certain punishments...
Sufficated between the boobs of Rocketje, I wish I could go that way...

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Tommy the Monkey tries to log in to the K-Lite board:
krrr - "Please wait while we transfer you - or click here if you do not wish to wait" - krrr - beep - krrrrrrrr...
Gee, downloading a page takes long today, wish I had a shotgun...
....................................
(sigh) I think the server crashed again. Glad to know we have ourselves two professional Administrators.
Meanwhile, at K-Lite headquarters Doctor VishBone asks Professor Pole:
Are we crashing?
Yup - we are.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Doctor VishBone and Professor Pole are discussing the slow server problems...
I got this GREAT idea; let's ban AVATARS!
Ok, but if that doesn't work?
Then we throw out the GUESTS!
And if THAT doesn't solve our problems?
Well, I guess we could throw out the members TOO...
Right, start with that last one. Members are annoying.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Woot!
Woot! Woooot!
Woooooooot!
Woot!!!
Who was THAT!
Just a guy who flings himself in and out of the board once in a while.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Professor Pole and Doctor VishBone have thrown out all the K-Lite Board members...
Those pain-in-the-ass members are gone, but we STILL have a crappy slow server...
Wait! I've got ANOTHER great idea! Let's throw the SERVER out as well!
Ok, server sold and we're out of work I guess. How are we gonna make any money NOW?
Got a solution for that TOO! We ad a lot of BANNERS and POP-UPS, that makes GREAT bucks!
Where are you going?
Looking for my tranquillizers.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Doppeldecker, the ol' wise owl from the K-Lite Board has an anouncement to make...
Contemplating on the cartoons portrayed here before, I would like to state that to laugh a person's misfortune might be laughable for once, but NOT continuously.
By now, I assume we are all in the knowledge that these fine gents - Pr. Pole and Dr. VishBone - are in search of some substantial financial support in order to keep our much beloved board running.
Therefore I would like to make the proposal that each member would voluntarily make a donation. To set the right example I can state here and now that I'm willing to grant the sum of 1500 US Dollars.
I expect any board member to take his - or her - responsibility. Having said that I would like to raise my donation to a 2000 US Dollars.
Now who's THIS guy?
Don't have a clue, but as your board administrator I advise you to take the money and run.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
Marvellous Marvin is promoted to give guidance to the newbies at the K-Lite Forum. Yes ladies, this man's a SAINT. (although we all know he thinks this is getting him a step closer to the Poll-button)
Me! Me first mr. Junior Global Moderator!
Okay class, todays lesson will be: 'Wha' kind o' subjecs can ya post in de Lounge?'
"MY first post will be: how old are you?" "MINE will be: where do you live?" "I'M gonna ask: do you smoke weed, because I think drugs are COOL!"
*sigh* Time for de ol' flamethrower...
And I'M gonna p...
No poll-button then. Burn, fuckin' newbies!

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
After the lesson about the noble art of flaming they got from the new Junior Global Moderator, the newbies are still smoking a bit...
*Cough!* *Cough!* *Rattle!* Ouch, that hurt. What happened?
I don't no, must have been some weird kind of initiation rite... I think we'll have to read and learn a LOT more before we understand this board.
Woot!
Woot! Woooot!
Woot!
*sigh* But I doubt that we'll ever FULLY understand...

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
I'm feeling so mutch better now, sooo mutch better... *giggle giggle*
So you dudes got flamed? Well, there's nothing you can do than get over it. Don't understand me wrong, I'm against ANY sort of violence, and that includes flaming. That reminds me of my father who...
What are you guys sitting there not posting? I seem to remember that's against board regulations, correct me if I'm wrong.
*sigh*

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-20-03
The road to enlightenment can be a rocky one...go to the FAQ's for a smoother ride.
Bald Guy is looking for his ladies!
Hi, I can't find Skweeky to babysit. Could you guys maybe...
That's it - I'm OUT of here.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-21-03
Now that our much admired superhero Marvellous Melvin is promoted to Junior Global Moderator, he finds out that POWER is the mightiest afrodisiac...
You know Nikked D-cup, I feel somehow ATTRACTED to Melvin. He's so...SEXY.
Ya, I know. It's the POWER Curvey, I feel it too. Let's invite him to our place.
Hi Melvin honey, would you like to join Curvey and me in a threesome?
(yes it works, finally I'll get laid. Bye bye virginity) Hmm, *cough* well yeah gals, if I can do ya de pleasure. Glad you two finally undastand what's a real man like.
But then someone else shows up...
Bald Guy is here to collect his ladies!
Shi-it! Back to de saloon I guess.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-21-03
BALD GUY seems to be the lucky man now...
Bald Guy says that the ladies should concider themselves very lucky he saved them from that creep Melvin. BALD GUY is going to do a threesome with the ladies now.
WHAT? In your dreams! I'm totally not attracted to YOU buddy!
Me neither! Besides that, you're BALD! Yuk!
And you're a wash cloth! What could a wash cloth EVER do for a woman ya?
So you better sod off, Mister MACHO!
Bald Guy thinks he's going to join Melvin in the saloon now...

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-23-03
Arbitrary Madman has created a completely new peer-to-peer Filesharing Program, which allows INCREDIBLE FAST download speeds...
And I'm going to call it KazaaLite+EXTENSION! Wadaya think, Alex the Submissive Cat, beta-test it?
I don't know, how does it work exactly?
Very simple, you hook up with the user of YOUR choice trough a PERSONAL connection.
And how do I make that connection?
That's the GENIOUS part of it! It comes with a 13000 mile long EXTENSION CABLE, so you can reach ANYONE ANYWHERE you like. Want to connect with another user? Simply redirect it.
I've got a feeling I'm gonna stick to the OLD KazaaLite for a while...

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-23-03
Alex the Submissive Cat decides to beta-test the new K-Lite+Extension after all. He meets with Tommy the Monkey in the UK, because he had to be in Europe anyway...
13000 mile cable - check. Plugged into your computer - check. OK, I'll call you when I'm back in the US and then we'll see.
Thanks for coming over, talk to you soon!
But then...a police raid!
Hello hello hello, wot have we here then? Illegal file-sharing huh?
Oh shit! Mr. RIAA Pig! How did you find me?
What then follows is a VERY inside joke:
Very simple son, I just followed the THREAD.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-23-03
Borg and Bjork, two friendly aliens, are send one a five-year mission, to seek out strange new civilizations...
I've heard that this planet is called EARTH. Let's find out if there are any INTELLIGENT LIFEFORMS here.
And IF we find them we can SHARE our technologies, like the Interstellar Warpdrive, cures for Cancer and Aids, Global Warming and the Secret to Immortality.
I hope you guys don't mind me asking, but do you plan to park your flying saucer HERE? You can't do that, it's against board rules if I recall correctly.
BALDGUY is looking for some new ladies!
continues... (press right arrow)
Wait wait! I've got an even BETTER idea!
DON'T tell me you want the members back...

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-23-03
continued from previous...
Chicks! Chicks an' Poll buttons! I wan'em BOTH!
...fought in the civilian war. On the wrong side regrettably, but this man stood for his believes. That reminds me about a funny story he told me when I was still a young kid, he was ordered to...
Right. Parked at the wrong spot, speeding at 650,000 miles per hour AND illegal SHARING. This is gonna cost you buddies!
Woot! Woot woot! Woooot!
*sigh* No intelligent lifeform WHATSOEVER...
Except for that LAST one maybe. Glad we found the time to make some CROP CIRCELS, though.

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-25-03
Professor Pole and Doctor VishBone are discussing the K-Lite Board situation...
I see we have a new server?
Yes, I solved ALL our problems. I found this GREAT web hosting company, they're going to host our board.
Can we TRUST this company? There's no danger of them taking over?
Not a chance in the world! These guys are eating out of my HAND!
Where are you running to all of a sudden, Doctor VishBone? ...Doctor Vishbone?

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-25-03
The evil webhosting company has taken over the K-Lite Board, members are fleeing all over the internet...
Zis is T-ReX! Ve are taking OVER ze board!
Professor Pole and Doctor VishBone zaid zey weren't interested in ze forum anymore!
But WHO appears there? Is it a bird? is it a plane? No! It's a nerd, and he's insane! MARVELLOUS MELVIN to the rescue!
You're pushin' it noob! (I feel some SUPERPOWERS comin' up...)
Ve are going to manipulate ze POLLS! Because ve love zis board!
There you go: SPAM!!!
Mutti, er hat mir weh getan!

 

by BenderSkweeky
1-26-03
KillaDweeb and Annoying4live have met in the KLchat and are communicating in their regular fashion...
"give it back!!!! ya gonna give it back!!!!" "first ya gotta take back what ya said!!!!"
"waddaya say???? i dint start it!!!!" "o yeah ya did!!!! you always start!!!!"
Doppeldecker, the ol' wise owl of the K-Lite Board is trying to mediate...
"this time you started!!!! you did!!!!" "thats not true!!!! you did!!!!"
Cool down dudes. Slow down and cool down, ok? I'd say 'peace' as stupid it might sound. What are you guys fighting for anyway?
this moron took my little red toy car!!!!
thats not true! its mine and this idiot took it first!!!!

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