All comics by Billigger

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by Billigger
9-16-01
You know... I just don't find this rewarding anymore...
What do you mean?
Just seems like we're scraping the bottom of the barrel... That's all.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
So you see... Without me no one would ever die. If everyone lived forever the planet would become overcrowded and all earth's resources would be nonexistant...
...And of course there's the problem of fatal diseases not being fatal anymore, people getting old and decrepid, it'd be a bunch of skeletons lying around not doing anything... Understand?
Cheepum?
.... I don't know why I bother talking to you.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
It is said that death waits for no man.
That life, when it is meant to end, will do so at any time and in any place.
Sometimes, however, Death is disappointed.
Where the hell is my 3 o'clock?

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
So is it everything you'd hoped for?
.... Not really. Ever feel like you're about to get layed off?

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Death is a state of mind. Rhyme. Weather like the rain and cold. Summer. Death is mine. Mine is Death. Life is mine and loss of breath is an illusion. The mind is peace and piece of mind is this.
Are you finished?
Yeah.
Good....
Scat on that... Hippie.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Before you drink, want to know something?
Get off my back reaper man!!
Now that you've had a sip, want to know something?
Fine what is it? It better be good too cause I've got stuff to do!
That drink was actually acid......

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
So this one guy was like, "Nooooo I don't want to die" and this little girl was like "I'm only three years old" And then this other guy was like... "Maybe I'll pull through!!!" And I was like... "So?"
Thank you and good night!
So what did you think?
I thought it was great... But I don't think the rest of the crowd was able to relate.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Morning Sam...
Cheep Cheep Cheepum...
CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEPUM CHEEP!!!!
What's his problem?

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Cheep Cheepum Cheep cheeeep?
Cheeper Cheep Cheepin... Cheeper Cheep Cheep.
Cheep... Cheep cheepin Cheeper cheep.
Cheep Cheeper chee cheeeeep!
CHEEP!
Things are really starting to heat up over there...

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Sam... I decided that I want you to teach me how to speak your language.
Cheep cheep?
So... "Cheep cheep?" That means... "Is that so?" Right..?
Cheep.
......... You don't even know do you?
Cheep cheep?

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
You're being foolish.
I'm a spectre, and one who controls death and life by the way.
It's as inevitable as time itself as far as its passing is concerned.
And you're only delaying the inevitable.
How's that sound?
Try it with more feeling next time.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
You know, Bob, I don't want to sound Gay or anything... But sometimes the light hits your scythe in such a way that it reflects the beauty of you hood hole...
What's your point?
My point is.... Well.... Would you mind it so much.. If I... Kissed you?
Uh.... That's kind of weird.... But I guess if you really want to you can....
I can't believe you fell for that... You like... want me soooo bad...
You are an asshole, you know that?

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
........
I'm sorry... I'm not feeling in the mood right now....
I lost one at the hospital today... Turns out it wasn't cancer.

 

by Billigger
9-16-01
Put some clothes on... You'll catch your me of cold...
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! I KILL YOU! Ha! I did it again!!!!
So I says "You'll catch your me of cold!!!"

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Send in.... the clowns.....
Send in.... the clowns.....
They're all-ready.... Heeeeeeeeee-eeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-rrrrrreeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeee!

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Let's see... Let's see... Take a left.. and a right.. Keep on going to the top of the hill.
This one ought to be easy...
...... Crap. So much for a one way ticket...

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Hey... I thought I got you already.
You can't kill an idea, man. I'm like the smoke. Wind... Always present always here man. Philistine. You breach the contract set by love and signed by me.
Where do you come up with this crap....? Boogety blah. I'm the wind, man, I'm seasons and fish and blah blah blah...
You can't talk to me like that... I'm an artist!
Fine then, no more talking.

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Tell me, Is there anyone more sexy than I? I just look in a woman's direction and she gets all squirmy! You know what I mean though....
I think I've developed some sort of eating disorder.... You know... It's a real condition... Shouldn't be ignored. I feel... So close to you right now...
.... Har! And I found eight dollars worth of bby formula coupons just lying outside in front of the market. Idiots just dropped them and left!
... And then thteven thays to me... Oh you want to be top now... Where were you when my back was aching two weekth ago.... I mean puh-lease....
Do me a favor, hmm? Pop this boil on my back?
You know.... I remember a time when people feared death. now all they want to do is chat chat chat.

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
At 3 Fredsdowne Street, there was a sudden knocking at the front door. "Knock-Knock-Knock"
Yeeeesssss...?
Hi... I'm here to...........
Dammit! I Knew I was doing evens today... Shoot!

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
....
Please put your robe back on... You're embarrassing yourself.

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Morning Sam...
Morning.
...! Sam! You can talk!? How come you've never spoken to me before like this...?
Well.... you're kind of depressing.
Hm..... I guess I can be depressing.... Ah well..... Be gone.

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
I appreciate this alot Frank...
Oh... Ow ow ow ow... Watch it...
Yeah... There you go... Keep going. Keep going.
Twist it a little twist it.....
Thank you. That was wonderful.
No problem... How did you get a knot like that in your shoelace anyhow?

 

by Billigger
9-17-01
Death decided to take the 18th off and left one of his best friends in charge instead...
Ha! I'm Back! Can't keep a good Beatnik down. I'll bet an animal, a creature of the earth, understands what its like to be persecuted...
Cheep Cheepum?
Cheep Cheepum. Well said m'man. Cheepum, Cheep Cheepum. Who put my cheepum in. When river and sail cross over the rain, Cheep Cheepum. Cheepum. Right on.
Kaaaaa.... Mehhhhhh.... haaaaaa.... Mehhhhhhh....... CHEEPUM!

 

by Billigger
9-18-01
Well... I'm Back. Did I miss anything?
That Beatnik came back.. but I killed him for you.
You've done well, young Grasshopper...
Thanks. Oh.. There is one more thing I need to do before you get your powers back.........
Two minutes later...
Comin to get you fat man.. Comin to get you!

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