All comics by CANNIBaL_GILeS

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by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
This is gonna be the lamest Survivor ever. And what's up with that screaming piece of bacon behind me?
Yeah... What's he screaming about. Maybe he's hungry.
You would think he would just eat himself... hmmm...
4 minutes later...
This isn't working. What about that fat guy over there, he's annoying me anyways.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
Yes.

 

So... uhh, come here often?
by CANNIBaL_GILeS, 11-06-05

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
I just wet myself.
I SHALL RETURNETH AT A DIFFERENT TIME

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
Hey man, got any weed?
Nah, do you?
No.
Me neither.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
All I want in life is a nice cowboy to sweep me off of my feet...
All I want in life is to rape little boy with a Pacman shirt, shoot his head off and have sex with his dog.
Life is boring.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
So... umm... here for the movie?
ERROR. MUST LEAVE AND KILL HELPLESS FARM ANIMALS.
So... YOU must be the guy here for "Gay Farm Farkin'"... right?
I was told there was free drugs. And yes... that's me. Fuck the robot.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-06-05
Dude, I'm totally sorry, but me and my friends are wasted and you've been talkin' shit all night.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Howdy partner.
You gay or somethin?
Yup...

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Hey look! It's Fabian the Clown. Hi Fabian the Clown!!
Dar dar dar dar.
Have I ever told you that you're a fucking idiot?
Dar.
Well, you're not... WAIT! YES YOU ARE!!! Hahhhahhahhhhahah.
Dar dar dar dar?

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Why, hello there Fabian the Clown. What brings you to my place of business?
Dar dar!
You quit? But you don't even work here you useless sack of shit!
Dar dar dar.
I'm gonna go masturbate. Later fuckface.
DAR!!!!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
BITCH! THESE HERE ARE MY STREETS! YOU BEST STEP OFF BEFORE I CAP YO ASS!
Dar dar dar dar dar dar dar.
What the fuck? Are you stupid? Did you get dropped on your head and peed on as a child?
Dar.
I'll still have to cap your rectal region if you choose not to leave the vicinity of the area that I have called my own for 5 years going on 6.
Dar dar.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
HEY Fabian the Clown. Long time, no see! So.. uhh. what have you been up to?
Dar.
Hmm... yeah, about that... I didn't bring you here to hang out. This is an intervention about your 'darring'. We are a little worried about you....
Dar dar DAR?!!!
Eh, fuck it. You're a waste of breath anyways you fuckin' fuck! Eat shit and die. No one cares about you. Hhahhahahhahha. Fabian the Clown, you're such a homo!
dar....

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Alright class, put your hands together for Fabian the Clown. Today he's gonna treat us to a bowl full of laughter as he touches himself with the lights off. Can you please hit the lights Steve?
DAVID, TURN THOSE BACK OFF!!!
DAR!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
This just in. Cathy doesn't have the bird flu, it's only AIDS. Now back to your regularly scheduled program already in progress.
I GOT THAT FROM YOU LAST NIGHT, YOU SICK BASTARD! KEEP YOUR DICK OUT OF ANIMALS AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!
Okay, umm. awk-ward! i'm totally out of here. Tom, I'm gonna go get my stuff from your house. This is really getting out of hand. Bye Cathy. Try to stop whoring yourself out to young boys.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
So Jesus, uhh, yeah, remember that time that your car broke down and I drove like an hour to pick you up and take you to John and Paul's Halloween Bash...?
Yeah...Well, I just tipped the bartender my last $2 and i was wondering if you could spot me...
I hate it when he does that.

 

Honestly? No. The furthest I got was to Genesis and then my eyes started bleeding blood and they were burning REAL bad. I tried Visine, but no dice.
by CANNIBaL_GILeS, 11-07-05

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Hey Jesus, would you be oh-so-kind enough to trade places with me? I'm tired of this same view.
Hhahahhaha. I lied. I'm not tired of the view, I just wanted to watch you float on that cross. It's wicked.
Go to hell.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
Finally, time for bed. That was one of the longest days I have spent at the office.
NO MEANS YES
NO MEANS YES
NO MEANS YES
OH MY GOD!!! IT'S THE RAPING ROBOT!!!
Alright. Like I
said, clean up
the kitchen and
try not to
do that raping
thing again.
RAPE SEQUENCE OVER
KILL HUMAN
KILL HUMAN
KILL HUMAN

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
MOOOOOO
Oh, wait a second... This would make a lot more sense if I was doing the fucking. Duh!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-07-05
So are you sure this house is for sale? I have this strange feeling you're lying. It looks like some sort of religious temple of some sort.
WHAT?! DO I LOOK LIKE I AM LYING? LOOK AT MY FACE AND YOU'LL KNOW! IT'S $500,000 CASH AND I NEED IT NOW!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU LEAVE! I LIKE WOMEN ANYWAYS! YOU JERK!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-09-05
Hey kid. Got some green eggs and ham. It's some primo shit, man. Straight from the Dr. himself.
Uhh...
Come on, man! I don't got all day. I got to catch a train and then a plane. Then I have to go to some house with a mouse. Hurry up, man! I've fiendin' right now, we have to get this over with!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
11-10-05
Hey dude. I know you've been drinking, so I can't let you blog tonight.
FUCK YOU! I FEEL FINE! I CAN BLOG!
LISTEN ASSHOLE, I'M TRYING TO BE A FRIEND! JUST HAND ME YOUR KEYBOARD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT RISK YOU TAKE DRINKING AND BLOGGING!
Plus, you know how many hot chicks are on my friends list? Like a thousand.. Hello, chicks? Do you like chicks?
Hmmm.... I do, but Steve is drunk, too and he told me that you and Brian...
Fuck off. I'm gonna go blog. Eat my ass. WAIT! I mean, dammit. DON'T MAKE ME DELETE YOU, 'FRIEND'!

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
12-19-05
Are you sure about this Fabian the Clown? I'm almost positive that you wait until AFTER it rains to get these damn shrooms.
Dar dar dar. Dar dar dar dar dar dar dar. Dar?
NO! NOT AT ALL! Jesus Christ, you are insane. Get out of my fucking face you retard. You talk like you dropped out of college and went back and failed at everything you tried to do.
So I'm insane, huh?
Oh, hi Jesus... didn't realize you were behind me. Either that or I found some shrooms.

 

by CANNIBaL_GILeS
12-19-05
Do you know why I pulled you over?
I dunno... cause I'm high?
No, it has nothing to do with that. As a matter of fact, I'm stoned as shit. The thing is... well, it's your shirt. I want to eat your shirt.
Are you fucking serious? Wait, hold on... what? Eat my shirt? I'm so high. This is insane.
Insane, yes. Abnormal, maybe. However, I haven't taken acid in a while and I think that if I ate your shirt, I'd probably see some crazy shit like Cher fucking a horse.
Probably.

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