All comics by Carmie

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by Carmie
9-28-01
Meanwhile, at the Beatles Interpretive Singing Contest...
Fixing a whole, where the rain gets in
to stop my mind from wandering...
Stupid Fuck
Ow!

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
A lonely man...
CuteGrrl1: Not! Hotbabe235: Dork 2Hot4U: L-O-S-E-R EasyGrrl: Get lost
*SIGH* Maybe I'll just watch TV.
A cruel world...
!
This just in...YOU SUCK!
The inevitable, stupid decision...
That does it. I'll become a Supervillan. I'll show them all!
Whatever, dude.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Villan name?
Whipping Boy
O--kay. Any special skills? Arch Enemies? Superpowers?
Well--er..listen. My dot.com startup crashed. I'll do anything. I really need this job.
Alright, fine. You can go get me some coffee. Just make sure it's EVIL coffee.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
As a henchperson, you'll need to defend my person at all costs. Let's see some of your moves.
Wow. I can see right up your skirt. You must REALLY want my body.
She will be mine....

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Um..I'm not certain an armed kangaroo is really what we're looking for.
Can you start tomorrow?

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Alright, kid, what did you drag me out here for?
What the fuck?
You are SO hired.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Meanwhile, back at the Evil Villan Training Academy
No, you moron. PROJECT from your DIAPHRAGM! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
A-hem! TEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!
Meanwhile, back at the Evil Villan Training Academy
You are an embarassment to this academy. I'm having you expelled!
Kangaroo! Get him!
Meanwhile, back at the Evil Villan Training Academy
I should have listened to my mother and become a doctor.
Whose laughing now, motherf@%!&er?

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
As our hero..er..villan trains, Whipping Boy seeks a hidden fortress...
Great neighborhood, right near a grade school, plenty of parking.
Um..do you have anything more...evil?

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
As our hero..er...villan trains, Whipping Boy goes in search of a hidden fortress
Great neighborhood, plenty of parking, and right near a playground and gradeschool.
Do you have anything more...evil?
Evil, huh? Let me refer you to my manager.
Along with my personal curse, the property also includes a piranha moat, oubliettes, and broadcasts boyband music to the neighborhood 24 hours a day.
We'll take it.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
The mastermind unleashes his plan
Whipping Boy--go have my henchmen do something evil.
Umm...ok
...
Umm..the boss guy says go do something evil.
Will do.
How will the world survive?
Wanna get drunk and hang out in strip clubs?
Whatever.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Yeah! Shake it baby! You know how I like it.
Not again....
Buy you a drink, cutie?
I thought I told you to come back when you got a job.
Chill, baby. I fot me a job. I am a badass evil henchmen.
Christ! Why can't I meet a super hero once in a while? Aw, screw it. It's a slow night. Let's go to my place.

 

by Carmie
9-28-01
Meanwhile, in the champagne room...
Listen kid, come see me when you hit puberty and know how to please a lady.
Oh...my...God....YES!
Marry me.
Fuck you.

 

by Carmie
9-30-01
*First, I must get embarassingly drunk and sexually harass cute co-eds...*
Hey, baby, about breakfast tomorrow; How do you want your eggs: scrambled or fertilized?
Whatta jerk.
*Then I will playfully taunt the local townsfolk by blowing up the annual parade...*
Screw you, Dean!
Whatta jerk.
*And soon I will be Big Man on Campus and beloved by generations to come.*
What do you MEAN Animal House wasn't a documentary?!?
Whatta Jerk

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