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"Good morning frequent fliers. This is your captain speaking. Because all you whiney hypocritical climate change denying liberals didn't heed your own warnings during yesterday's bad weather...
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...this airline is overbooked and behind schedule therefore we will be taking off with ice on our wings in a raging blizzard...
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..if you should experience nose diving and rapid decompression of the fuselage kindly put your liberal lips between your butt-cheeks and kiss your sorry asses goodbye! Enjoy your flight!
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