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| In today's news, the Nintendo Wii has sold thousands of units to American gamers. Its use of a remote control-like controller is a bit hard to get used to. | |
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| Incidents of exploding wrists due to extreme carpal tunnel syndrome is on the rise since its launch. Nintendo claims there is not a connection. | |
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Meanwhile, at Nintendo HQ in Japan
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| Excellent! Our plan to make American weak succeeding! Soon they be too weak in wrist to fight us! | |
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| JAPAN SHALL EXTERMINATE PUNY AMERICANS! HAHAHA!!! We get last laugh, bomb-dropping white men! | |
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