All comics by DuckOnHill

Profile

 

by DuckOnHill
4-01-04
I'm depressed.
I'm bored.
My girlfriend left me.
I'm out of quarters.
Will you wear a dress?
If you make explosion noises.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-01-04
I wonder what Abe Vigoda's genitals look like.
?
No...
?
Bingo.
?

 

by DuckOnHill
4-02-04
I liked your comic, especially the last panel.
"I wonder what Abe Vigoda's genitals look like" could become almost as classic a line as the ever-popular "I wonder how much Gregory Peck weighs."
Hmph.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-06-04
British people spell 'learned' like 'learnt!'
...how long is she going to ramble like this?
Karl Marx used the term "Lumpen proletariat" to describe a large group of poor people!
...that's the third time she's said that.
Finnish and Hungarian are the only two languages in Europe whose origins are unknown. It's also unknown how they came to be connected!
Jesus Christ, are you ever going to shut up?

 

by DuckOnHill
4-07-04
You know, Erin, that old, distinguished, brilliant yet thoroughly unpretentious British scholar we heard tonight was kinda hot.
That guy was many things, but there was nothing hot about him.
Was so hot.
He was intellectual, not hot.
Intellectual stirs my loins.
I never again want to know what stirs your loins.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-09-04
This is not possible! This is not possible!
What's not possible?
That a place like this has been built upon what once was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Oh.
I thought all that angst was because they discontinued the McRib.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-11-04
Insane in the membrane. Insane in the membrane.
Insane in the brain!
You know, that's not funny. It's not like I asked for this temporal lobe disorder.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-11-04
A on-air, special message from the news desk to the weather desk.
This just in, Susan!
What's that, Kent?
You're a cruel, cuckolding shrew who's stolen my soul and left my body to wander the Earth like so many of the Devil's forsaken children!
...back to you!

 

by DuckOnHill
4-12-04
What can I do to improve the world?
Combination washer/dryer?
Intergalactic dictionary?
I've got it!
Corpse compaction!

 

by DuckOnHill
4-18-04
Eh. I feel blocked.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-18-04
He didn't think that the sacraments would do him much good.
Blather blither. Blather blother.
As it penetrated Narcissus's virtue and wisdom.
Snazzle frazzle Olmec faces.
Oh, let me see the beautiful things you've brought me.
Ding dong, sun sink realpolitik.

 

by DuckOnHill
4-19-04
To that kind, kind wretch who has decided to rate my comics...
You are either very good and generous, or have an excellent and biting sense of irony.
Dervish panel! Spin, my pretties!

 

by DuckOnHill
4-19-04
To quibble with my roommate.
You know, Erin, this guy is really more Dada than Beat.
Screw you. Stop trying to own Dada and Beat and tell me what they are. You don't understand. You always do this.
Is to make an ass of myself.
But but but, I'm just trying to make you feel better. Why can't we talk about what interests you? I'm not a pretentious gasbag, I swear!
Because, we just can't. Because you have this thing that makes me feel bad, and I don't know what it is, but I don't like it.
And a pompous one at that.
I know I have this tendency to be passive-aggressive and condescending, but I swear it comes from a place of love and respect and a desire for your well-being!
Do you think you'd still like old men if you got over this grandma-like quality you have?

 

by DuckOnHill
4-26-04
If you want to make a cart go, do you hit the horse or the cart?
Supersize.
Truth is not far away. It is nearer than near. There is no need to attain it, since not one of your steps leads away from it.
Wer, wann, was, wie, warum?
In this living world the body I give up and burn would be wretched if I thought of myself as anything but firewood.
Teach me, like you, to drink.

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