Hi, I'm Death. I'll be taking your sack-of-shit soul to a realm of endless pain and torment.
Wait... are you saying I'm dead? That I'm defunct? No more? Cease to be? That I'm on the verge of being thrown into a world of eternal damnation or pure bliss? Are you really dea-
Hey look... I don't mean to burst your epiphanic bubble but... Could we just do this later? I have something in the oven...
I'm taking you to hell... Don't worry, it's not as bad as it's cracked up to be... I mean, there's free stonings every wednesday... Oh, and there's the Teletubbies marathons, those are always nice...
An hour later...
...And if you're lucky, you might just see Bert and Ernie go at it. Those guys are such party animals! Oh!, and then you can go swimming in the blood of a thousand virgins as your eyes pop out...
Here's something I'd never thought I'd ask but... How much longer until we reach hell?
Not much longer now... I mean, if we don't come across this one wayward soul... He keeps bugging me to take him to hell, when his religion doesn't believe in it...
This is just great... I get thrown out of my neighborhood for various suicide attempts, Death refuses to let me into Hell, and now I'm forced to live in this rented trash can...
I mean... It's a freaking trash can...
At least those annoying salesmen haved stopped coming by... Nothing could get any worse...
...A TRASH CAN!!! [To be continued in RandomSnark's comics.]
Greetings, sir. Would you be interested in purchasing some aged Gouda cheese?