You have the right to remain silent.

Author: Fracture

Date: February 7, 2001

by Fracture
2-07-01
Dear Sir, It has been brought to our attention that you do not use any Microsoft products. A new law just passed...
requires all Americans to own at least some version of Windows or at least Microsoft Outlook.
I don't even own a computer!
Not owning a computer is not an excuse. One will be sent to you and your wages will be garnished to make up for the cost of it.