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| Dear Sir, It has been brought to our attention that you do not use any Microsoft products. A new law just passed... | |
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| requires all Americans to own at least some version of Windows or at least Microsoft Outlook. | |
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| I don't even own a computer! | |
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| Not owning a computer is not an excuse. One will be sent to you and your wages will be garnished to make up for the cost of it. | |
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