All comics by Game_Master

 

by Game_Master
6-08-02
You are Brad. You live alone. You are fast asleep when a sound awakens you.
You don't remember what the sound was, but it must have been pretty loud since you're a heavy sleeper.
Do you listen, or turn on the light and look?

 

by Game_Master
6-08-02
You listen intently and are rewarded by silence.
Then, suddenly, you hear a soft hissing of sorts. No... whispering. It's definitely whispering.
Psh wahs ti whe whisssh sashi washish.
--Turn on the light and contront whoever it is............. --Leave the light off and try to sneak away.............

 

by Game_Master
6-08-02
You listen intently and are rewarded by silence.
Then, suddenly, you hear a soft hissing. No... whispering. It's definitely whispering.
Psh washish shshi washish ti spesp washsh spshwashsi.
--Turn on the light and confront whoever it is.............. --Leave the light off and try to sneak away..............

 

by Game_Master
6-09-02
You turn on the light, and just as you begin to recognize the people standing before you, a bullet pierces that part of your brain, killing you.

 

by Game_Master
6-10-02
You leave the light off, push the blankets away, and gently start to rise from your bed, doing your best to keep quiet.
SCREEEECH
Unfortunately, your old box spring doesn't cooperate. You hear shuffling behind you and the next thing you know, your light is on.
A bullet tears off an unimportant part of your ear. Your eyes scan frantically. The bathroom is 10 feet away, but has no other exit. The hallway is 20 feet away. --Which do you make a run for?

 

by Game_Master
6-11-02
Any port in a storm, you figure, and lunge towards the bathroom. A foot from the door, a bullet takes more unimportant ear mass. You slam the door, lock it, and turn on the light.
Bullets come flying through the door, so you throw yourself into the tub and begin wetting yourself. It's cramped since your pet priest is already seeking safety there, but he doesn't seem to mind.
You suddenly have the urge to brush.--Go brush your teeth..............--Continue wetting yourself......
Purrrrrrrr.

 

by Game_Master
6-12-02
You continue wetting yourself and come to realize it's not an altogether unpleasant feeling.
Marco!
Polo!
But just as you're starting to enjoy it, the shooting stops, which restores your continence.
purrrrrrrrrrr
--Get up and move closer to listen....................................... --Look for something to defend yourself with............................

 

by Game_Master
6-12-02
You get out of the tub and inch closer to the door.
Boss say he want him alive!
He just so shootable!
Then silence. You put your pulpy ear closer, but as you do the door comes flying open.
Knocking you unconscious.

 

by Game_Master
6-12-02
You come to in a pitch black room, your head throbbing.
You move around a bit and realize you are lying on the floor, your wrists handcuffed in front of you.
--Whine about your throbbing head --Stand up and feel your way around --Take this opportunity to realize your lifelong dream of masturbating in a pitch black room while handcuffed by kidnappers

 

by Game_Master
6-13-02
You start touching yourself, probing your squishy fun-fun land.
Hey there, sailor. How about buying a girl a drink and then brutally fucking her in the ass?
You're about to climax when
Ewww! He touching nasty man-ness, look!
You rewrap squishy fun-fun land and wonder how anyone can see you in such darkness. As you wipe your brow with your arm and feel the blindfold. --Take off the blindfold --Ask why you've been kidnapped

 

by Game_Master
6-14-02
You start taking off the blindfold when a hand grabs your arm. It squeezes hard for a moment and then lets go. A deep voice bellows
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
--Leave the blindfold on and ask why you've been kidnapped................................ --Take off the blindfold to show Mr. Deep Bellows he ain't the boss of you............................
--Say, "Me, take off this blindfold? Nuh uh. Nope, not me. No chance.", whistle for awhile, and then take off the blindfold................................... --Ask him to say "This is CNN"...........

 

by Game_Master
6-14-02
Could you say "This is CNN"?
This......is CNN.
Goosebumps! Again! Again!
This......is lava.
And it was.

 

by Game_Master
6-14-02
Why have you kidnapped me?
To fulfill my lifelong dream of masturbating while watching a blindfolded guy whose missing part of his ear have molten lava poured on him!
I'd hate to be that sad bastard.
Pour the lava, Hench Wench One!
--Scream like a seven-year-old girl and again wet yourself....... --Take off the blindfold............ --Run now....... --Fulfill your lifelong dream of masturbating while molten lava is poured on you

 

by Game_Master
6-14-02
Hey there, sailor. How about buying
DEAR JESUS AND GOD THE FATHER IN HEAVEN, HELP ME, SAILOR!!!!!! FUCKING-A, SHIT A NEW SPECIES OF MONKEYS, HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!!

 

by Game_Master
6-15-02
You look around, desperate to find anything of assistance in your sparse bathroom.
Only three things jump out: a small shoebox-size window, a glob of shaving cream in the sink, and your pet priest, Tooshy McFinklebee.
--Use the window.................... --Use the shaving cream.......... --Use Tooshy........................... --Use some combination..........
**scratch scratch scratch**

 

by Game_Master
6-17-02
You rub the shaving cream on Tooshy, forming a little Abe Lincoln hat and beard.
You open the window and with a lot of effort push Tooshy out, sure that anyone who sees Honest Abe back from the dead is sure to call the police. Half a second later, though, a thought strikes you.
I'm on the seventh floor.
Grief stricken over killing both your pet priest and the preserver of the union, you take your life with the remaining shaving cream.

 

by Game_Master
6-17-02
You grab Tooshy just as the door bursts open. You swing him madly back and forth, smacking him into a mirror here and a toilet there...
MROW!!!
He objects wildly at first but has become oddly quiet by the time your tormentors walk in.
*gurg*
Hench Wench Two raises her gun at you. Do you comply with her command?
Drop dead priest and turn round.

 

by Game_Master
6-17-02
You throw a cocky glance at the powerful item you hold.
I don't think so, sister! Looks like you no longer hold all the cards!
And your face still has that cocky look on it 12 hours later, when rigor mortis sets in.

 

by Game_Master
6-18-02
My heeeeeeeeeeead hurts.
Tell me if this help. **flick**
As you reach up to rub your flicked forehead, you feel the blindfold. --Take this opportunity to realize your lifelong dream of throbby-head masturbating while blindfolded and handcuffed by kidnappers
--Take off the blindfold --Ask why you've been kidnapped.... --Point out that not only did flicking you in the head not help, it exacerbated that which it was intended to lessen

 

by Game_Master
6-19-02
Not only did flicking me in the forehead not help, it exacerbated that which it was intended to lessen.
**flick**
--Again point out that not only did flicking you in the head not help, it exacerbated that which it was intended to lessen........ --Take off the blindfold............. --Ask why you've been kidnapped

 

by Game_Master
6-20-02
You run like a desperate blindfolded man who's trying to outrun 50+ mph lava by zigzagging and bumping into walls.
Unfortunately, that's exactly what you are.
**bump**

 

by Game_Master
6-22-02
You grab the shaving cream and rub it over Tooshy's mouth just as the door bursts open.
Look out!!! Rabid priest!!! Save yourselves!! It's too late for me!!!
purrrrrr
Hench Wench Two walks in and non-chalantly shoots Tooshy in the head.
--Comply with Hench Wench Two's command...................... --Try to avenge Tooshy's death......................................
Bad priest.
Turn round.

 

by Game_Master
6-23-02
You stand up and walk forward slowly, your clasping hands hungrily reaching for anything at all. At last, they touch upon a hot brick wall, and your fingers wander over it frantically.
And then, a doorknob.
He's opening the door!!!
--Open the door....................... --Don't open the door..............

 

by Game_Master
6-25-02
You step back from the door, suddenly sweating. Whatever's in that room, it must be hot.
Damn hot.
You wipe the sweat from your brow and as you do, you feel the blindfold.
I'm talking satan's groin after jazzercise.
--Take off the blindfold................................ --Ask why you've been kidnapped..............................
But not as humid.

 

by Game_Master
7-02-02
You take off the blindfold and see that Mr. Deep Bellows is none other than Psychotic-Evil-Lava-Pouring-Masturbating Genius. He's eyeing you intently while masturbating on his Segway a mere feet away.
It all adds up now!
Looking up higher, you see Hench Wench One head wrestling Hench Wench Two on a tall scaffold.
Your head too big. Not fair fight.
Your head not exacree grape size you know.
Looking up higher still, you see a large cauldron of lava directly above you. And it's starting to tip! --Leap towards PELP MG --Run up the scaffold --Rethink your past assumptions about lava

 

by Game_Master
7-04-02
You leap toward the Segway and grab the handlebars before PELP MG knows what's happening.
I have grabbed the handlebars!
What's happening?
With herculean strength, you bitchslap PELP MG off the Segway and scan the room for an escape route.
Room for one more?
But then your technolust kicks in and you die doing donuts.

 

by Game_Master
7-04-02
You run up the scaffold handcuffed, barely maintaining your balance. As you gain altitude, you see that the Hench Wenches have left their guns off to the side as they head wrestle.
I too strong. Victory will be mine!
Over the top!
You get within 10 feet of the guns, when Hench Wench Two performs a devastating maneuver on Hench Wench One, slamming her head into the table, and putting you directly in her line of site.
Look who here!
Mr. I Whoop Your Ass Good?
Already pissed about losing, Hench Wench One grabs her gun and fires without a word.

 

by Game_Master
7-04-02
You look down and see blood pouring from your belly.
Though you're not sure why, your last thought before dying is
BRANF

 

by Game_Master
7-05-02
You make a run for the hallway, knowing it's your only escape.
But, rather inconveniently, your escape is interrupted by your death.

 

by Game_Master
7-10-02
You grab the shaving cream just as the door bursts open.
COME ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
You scream like an animal, the power of the cream surging through you. But you suddenly stop, amazed to see two asian girls walk in.
Now remember don't shoot him.
I will not shoot if he turn around.
Hench Wench Two raises her gun at you.............................. --Turn around.......................... --Show them the true power of the cream
You need ask yourself: she use 79 bullets or 80?
You feel lucky punk?

 

by Game_Master
7-25-02
Maybe it's just misunderstood.
I love you for who you are, little guy.

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