All comics by GentLoser

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by GentLoser
5-15-03
Sleeping Under the Kitchen Table by GL
You're drunk again. You've really gotta stop doing this monday through sunday.
Why? Some people exercise or collect stamps...I drink.
Because you're starting to see some weird shit man. Seriously.
Where the fuck did the bar go? You're not my bartender. You look sorta like my uncle Frank.
Fuck this. Give me your wallet.
It's obvious I'm in desperate need of another drink. I thought the spiders were bad but Australians? Fuck that. What are the cops doing here? You didn't let me drive did you?

 

by GentLoser
5-15-03
Sleeping Under the Kitchen Table by GL
Dude! A bar! lets go in! I see some hot bitches in that shithole!
In there? I thought we were going to...ok, sure. This should be good. I'll be here.
30 Minutes 5 martinis later
Alright motherfucker, I'm ready! Yeah! HEY! SUGARLIPS! HOW MUCH FOR A RIMJOB!?
Sir...I'm affraid you're inciting a riot, and are in a lot of danger. Move or you get a ticket.
I've uhh, stumbled into the gay biker bar again, haven't I? It's that damn "2-for-1 drinks!" sign! FUCK!
Yeah, next time I'm just gonna watch. You think I wear these tight pants cuz I want to? Nope. I'm with the village people cover band.

 

by GentLoser
5-15-03
Sleeping Under the Kitchen Table by GL
Did you know those friggin' arabs can't drink!? No wonder they're always blowing shit up!
Yeah man. Crazy.
And that the only thing they've got is like, rocks and goats and AK-47's. Not a lick of even bad gin. I mean hash sure, but no hooch. I love this fucking country, YEAH!
Yeah, uhhh..thats amazing. Just fucking amazing. Go on man, seriously, I've probably got nothing better to do right? I mean obviously lesser mammals aren't busy. Ever.
You...don't give a shit, do you? And I'm talking to a squirrel. In a cemetary. I must've passed out here huh? The flag effect was way cooler. Now I have a headache.
Good guess asshole. Drinky McStumblesalot gets a nut.

 

by GentLoser
5-15-03
Under the Influence, life is one big misunderstanding...
So, I was thinking about cutting back on the debauchery. You know. I'm getting older every day.
Are you serious!? My god GL that is great! We should hang out...see a movie maybe?
I thought you said you'd never date a crackhead like me?
Well, I'm warming-up to the idea, you're gonna dry-out. Some of that natural charm is finally gonna shine through!
What are you talking about? I meant I'm gonna stop driving drunk and walk to the bar instead. Look, if I get on a liver donation list early, I have nothing to worry about. I got it covered baby.
They abort babys every day, but people like you are still born. God I hate you.

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