All comics by GimpChimp

 

by GimpChimp
6-12-02
My name is Squiffy the Squirrel.
I feel trapped inside my squirrel body.
Sometimes I get the menstral cramps so hard my eyes bulge out.

 

by GimpChimp
6-12-02
OH GOD! Why hast thou forsaken me!
***ADVERTISEMENT BREAK***
When I'm taking a break from being crucified from the worlds' sins, I smoke MARLBORO FILTER TIP. After trying MARLBORO FILTER TIP, you'll never go back! Or thou shalt tremble before the Wrath of God.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION
Christ Almighty, I would kill for a smoke right about now.

 

by GimpChimp
6-12-02
Hi Buggy McBug! What kind of zany sheningans will we find ourselves in today?
Actually Donkey, today I thought we'd discuss the Nature of Self. We are legally required to fill our educational material quota, so we need time out from our mission to stop the wacky Galaxor.
Right. I'm concentrating, and not drifting off at all.
Now, the Nature of Self is a question that has plagued philosophers for centuries. You're a bad little donkey and need to be punished by your penguin mistress.
Fascinating. Tell me more.
Yes, and many people have pondered; what is the mind? Is it an abstra... why are you looking at me like that? What? Do I have something on my face?

 

by GimpChimp
6-14-02
This Week: ProMornington Crescent.
Tooting Broadway.
Theydon Bols.
Heathrow Terminal 4.
Mornington Crescent. I win.
Shit. What happens now?
Well, you might as well eat this Custard Cream I was wanking off onto. The name's now more of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

by GimpChimp
6-14-02
Woah, what's happening here? Where's McBug? And where's your fuckin' trousers?
I'm afraid we had to drop McBug from the comic in an attempt to up viewer popularity ratings.
Wahey! This is it! I'm going solo, and I don't mean with my hand!
Actually no. Your replacement is due to arrive shortly.
Words fail me.
Hey, you mean you saw the size of that guys' Little Major too? It was like a fucking tent pole down there.

 

by GimpChimp
6-14-02
Jesus. This is unbearable.
I know what you mean. The sexual tension's at boiling point here.
I feel like I could just leap on you and ride you like a Tequila whore any minute now.
That's it. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my trailer, packing my anal passage with broken glass.

 

by GimpChimp
6-14-02
Great, another replacement. Should be an improvement on that horny donkey pervert.
I'm positively giddy with anticipation.
Whoa! You're not going to insert that in me, are you?
Christ no, it's not an anal probe.
Right. Could you try anyway?
Sure. Wait here. I'm just, uh, getting the proper probe from my car, way over there.

 

by GimpChimp
6-15-02
Jesus, Jesus! I came to help you!
Right. Great. Obviously, I've just been hanging here nailed to a motherfucking cross thinking, if only a little ginger-pubed girl just like you were here....
...being crucified instead of me.
Well, with an attitude like that, you can forget about me scratching your balls, Mister.
Fuck.

 

by GimpChimp
6-15-02
Look at him up there on the cross. I wonder what he could be thinking at a time like this.
I wish I could remember if I ever got a tetanus jab.
Goddamnit, that's going to bug me all day now.

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