All comics by HappyNoodleBoy

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by HappyNoodleBoy
10-16-03
holy moley! it looks like a superherp!
thats right. i am SUPERHERP. i used to be a superhero but due to an unforseen typo i am now superherp.
oh no! an evil monster! i must destroy you!
what? i dunno what your talking about dude, i was just going to the supermarket to buy some milk and bread for my 11 starving children.
...your not a monster? but that means...ARGH! no! co-op mission!
dumbass.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-16-03
why did you follow me to the supermarket?
mister cthulu, you must understand something. i was given this mission to help you buy milk and bread for your starving children. i will finish my mission or you will pay the ultimate price!
$10.95?
exactly. nobody can hunt bargains like a skilled superhero.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-16-03
we cant chat all day. it's time to start searching for the best value in milk and bread.
yes, quite.
AHA! already i have found you a sweet deal! here's some milk for 10.99 a gallon!
uh, what about the milk that's on sale for 4 gallons for 2 bucks right next to it?
ah, keen eye cthulu! i should make you my ward! you know, like robin!
how desparate was the superhero industry when they hired you?

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-16-03
hi! did you find everything alright?
WHAT??! you have calculated the total price wrong! that milk was on sale for 4 gallons for 2 bucks!
that was like 3 weeks ago. wee're just really damn lazy and so we didnt take down the sign.
WHAT?!?! this is an outrage!! i will not pay $3.47 more for your foolish mistakes!! YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!!
moments later...
uh, well here you are cthulu! a loaf of bread a gallon of milk! and remember: "SUPERHERP gets the job done!"
you suck, dude.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
the exciting life of a superhero
doo de doo... la la la.... hmmm...
huh. hmm hmm hmmm... wonder what time it is? la la la....
superherp! theres a problem at the city zoo!
i'm on it, mayor!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
ah, here i am. the zoo.
ah. i smell a sure victory today. the air is filled with the smell of a future justice-having.
dude, i think you're just downwind of the monkey house.
ah, quite perceptive. would you perhaps be interested in being my ward? you know, like robin?
go away, dude.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
alright, superherp. your job is to recapture a bear that escaped from the zoo. we've locked down the place, so its probably still here. just find it.
consider the job done!
now lets see... if i were a bear that was a fugitive from the law, where would i be?
hi. i'm a bear tat escaped from the zoo. please help me escape to freedom!
AAGHH! ITS A BEAR! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
dont yell, you dumbass!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
thanks to your girlish screams, superherp, we were able to find and capture the missing bear. congratulations.
wait... im confused. aren't i supposed to rescue him now? i think he wanted me to rescue him.
um, yes. well, i will give you a dollar if you frget everything you saw here today.
never! no amount of money will make me forget my duties as a law upolder and a defender of justice!
okay, then i'll toss in some "save the pandas" bumper stickers from our gift shop.
awesome! you got it, man!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
as well-designed and lovely as these bumper stickers are, i still have the law to enforce! and by golly, i SHALL enforce it!
say there, janitor person! hypothetically speaking, if you were to go about destroying this zoo, how would you go about doing it?
well, i'd probably head into the main control room and shut down the whole mess, rendering the zoo inoperable and causing mass hysteria.
wow. that's better than my plan. i was just gonna flush all the toilets at once.
ha. you loser.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-17-03
superherp, we are forever in your debt for shutting down the zoo and freeing all the animals that these selfish jerks selfishly imprisoned.
uh, you're welcome.
so tell us, how do you feel about this stunning victory?
really good. i just cant shake the feeling that theres some reason i shouldnt have freed them.
they're loose! they're loose! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
ROOAAAARRRR!!!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-19-03
i am a demon! GRARRRR! i am here to take you to hell.
NO! you can't! what about all my contributions to the betterment of society and my impeccable crimefighting skills?
you're kidding right?
alright alright, what about my credit card bills? it's dangerous to let those pile up for long...

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-19-03
godammit! let me out of here! i've got bills piling up! compund interest! please take me home!
no can do, superherp. i can tell you're a clever one though. you're obviously calculating as many ways to kill me and escape as possibl-
hey! have you ever noticed how you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? that's so weird!
O_O...obviously you are hiding your true intelligence so you can catch me off guard later. quite clever.
no im not! i am hiding a butterfingers though! customs never noticed it!
dammit! give that here!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-19-03
you'd best follow me. i'll show you to your eternal torment area.
uh, okay. is eternal torment scary?
pffff. what a retarded question. well here we are, enjoy your stay.
uh oh...
words fail me.
pain! torment! grrr!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-20-03
so this is my place of eternal torment huh?
that's right dumbass! get used to it! pain! torment! grrrr!
i suppose you're my eternal tormentor?
actually im not. im just annoying. pain! torment! grrrr!
swell.
fuck off you reject.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-20-03
is there any reason why my place of eternal tormant is so godamn bright?
um, yes. we're renovating actually.
renovating? but there's nothing here.
there's that snack machine over there.
you have a snack machine in hell?
it's difficult to find in the dark, poorly stocked and almost always out of order! PAIN!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-20-03
is there any reason why my place of eternal tormant is so godamn bright?
um, yes. we're renovating actually.
renovating? but there's nothing here.
there's that snack machine over there.
you have a snack machine in hell?
it's difficult to find in the dark, poorly stocked and almost always out of order! PAIN!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-20-03
i dont suppose there's any way out of here is there?
of course not! what a foolish question!
oh ok. i was just wondering because there's this exit door right here.
oh yeah that. well you know, it's really hard to find in the dark and-hey! dont go! my performance review! NOOOO!
and i'm back!
freak.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-28-03
oh no! have you heard? aliens are supposed to land on earth today!
you have nothing to fear, citizen of america. according to my calculations, the aliens will land about 30,000 miles away from here. don't worry about it.
take me to your leader or die a horrible and painful death.
you suck, dude.
let me double check my math. even my AMAZING superhero intellect can fail sometimes!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-28-03
how did you get down to earth? do you have teleportation powers?
OF COURSE WE DO, YOU EARTHLING FOOL! we have powers far more advanced than you! for example, take... THE COSMIC DESTROYER! (patent pending!)
um...
aw what the- oh, i see. looks like it ran out of batteries. you get the idea though.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-28-03
but enough chit chat. i am here on business representing the zortornian empire, and can't be held up. very important business. i'm here on conquest! resources, slaves, destruction! haHA!
the whole planet?!
uh, no. not the whole thing. here, i'll teleport you to the exact location i ws commanded to conquer.
WHAT?! but this is my bathroom! you can't have my bathroom!
accept it or be destroyed!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-28-03
dude, we're gonna run into some problems here! you can NOT have my bathroom! go take someone else's bathroom
it's about to be the whole house in a moment, mr. dumbhead.
*sigh* alright, for the sake of the earth, and my rec room, i give you my bathroom. remember to flush.
HAHA! YES! SWEET VICTORY!
LET ME IN! I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER! godamn bathroom hogs.
i heard that.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-31-03
Superherp log: it has been tough tracking notorious mob boss Vito DeSomethingthatsoundsitalian, but i think my work has finally paid off.
hey man, why have you been following me?
i feel i've finally located where his headquarters are, and can exploit this information to-
seriously dude, what's wrong with you? i dont even know who you are!
hey! he's getting away! dumb superherp log!
what?

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
10-31-03
you there, taxi driver! follow that car!
dude, he only drove about a block. dont you think you could just walk there?
DAMMIT MAN, DONT YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF SUSPENSE!?

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
11-07-03
after following the car...
who are you?
hi there! can i come into this secretive looking base-thingy of yours?
you superherp?
yep.
superherp began to suspect a trap, but dispelled of that notion quickly.
go ahead and enter. the boss has been expecting you.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
3-06-04
mwahahahaha! superherp, you have fallen right into my trap! escape is futile!
i will escape you like i've done with all my other sticky situations!
ah, the great superherp. so weak in my grip. you're a wily one, aren't you? i can bet you're trying to think of as many ways to take me down before my snipers shoot you. clever, clever.
um...am not.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
hey superherp, wanna hear a joke?
sure, i love a good joke as much as the next guy!
help...i've been mugged... oh god, i can't feel my arms! somebody help!
okay, the guy AFTER the next guy.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
whatever, here's the joke: when is a fin not a fin?
um, i dunno.
when it's a DOL-FIN!
...
wasn't that great?
we're through.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
dude, i just broke up with my girlfriend! what do i do?!
dude, you know i'm not the type to pick you up on the rebound.
...that's not what i meant. i need advice!
buy me lots of presents!
okay, if you're sure that will help.
trust me on this one.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
hey there, what can i help you with?
i'm looking to buy a present for a friend of mine.
okay, well we've got pogs. loads of em. they're really neat. they'll run you about 4 million dollars.
holy cow, that's pricey! think you can shave it down a bit?
well, i guess for you i can lower it to 1000 dollars.
what a bargain! that's like 4000 percent off! i'll take them!

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
hey, i got your present.
sweet! what'd you get me?
pogs. a whole bunch.
dude, pogs suck! what the hell is wrong with you? why'd you buy those gay things?
they were on sale.

 

by HappyNoodleBoy
9-06-04
wow, i noticed that huge garbage truck full of pogs out there! did you do all that for me?
no-er, i mean...yes! so we're a couple again? wonderful. see ya later, sidekick!
i feel so unloved.

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