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| Uh, hello! I'm right here and I'm not a loser. I'm Jack Daniels. Besides, who in the whiskeys are you, walking into my office uninvited. How rude! | |
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| I'm the stereotypical Canadian, eh? | |
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| No, but what's your name? | |
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| Hmm, that's a good question. All my stereotypical Canadian friends call me Narrator, eh? I guess that's kind of a cowinkydunk. | |
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| You know I am an award-winning Broadway writer. I don't have time for a narrator, my pieces don't need narrators, and I'm not having auditions. I would appreciate it if you left. | |
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| Gee golly lumberjacks, how rude! According to the script you haven't written a Broadway play in a while. It says you've aged eight years. I have been assigned to put your writer's block in the drink. | |
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