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| No matter how desperate you are, never constuct a condom from cling wrap. | |
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| If you need to sell a baby, do it on eBay. That way you'll get at least 3 cartons of cigarettes, as opposed to the 1 you'll get around the trailer park. | |
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| If the toilet's broken and you can't afford a plumber, use each plastic bag only once. | |
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