All comics by Its_Shelty

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
Shelty: So I decided to do a comicstrip because...you know...everyone else was doing it.
Sara: I thought you were above fad ****. But that's not my main concern why do I look like I'm from ****ing Soul Caliber?
Shelty: Look if you're to complain I'll make you look different alright?
Sara: I mean I have no problem with it, it's that--.......
Sara: Hey are you calling me a bit--!
Shelty: I don't think that's relavant to the conversation.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
Daryl: All I'm asking is why the fuck does Batman need a bat signal? I mean there's no fucking point!
Shelty: To alert him when there is crime a foot, man! Chief Gordon has trouble boom he calls Bats.
Daryl: You would think if Batman stayed on top of things he wouldn't need a signal. Besides you flash that big ass thing in the air criminals are like OH SHIT they callin Batman! Run assholes!!
Shelty: Hmm...good point. If I were Gordon I'd call him when I was lonely, be like Hey what's Batgirl's number...she's hot...looks kinda like my daughter.
Daryl: ........that's fucking disgusting Tony.
Shelty: I guess I did kind of take it too far...

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
Daryl: Besides do they have to call Batman for every little thing? They have cops you know!
Shelty: I doubt they call him for everything, I'm sure the GPD could stop like robbers, but they'd be fucked against the likes of Bane or Croc or something. They're only human.
Daryl: Batman's human as well, ass. And he couldn't handle Bane as well he broke his shit! I mean wow.
Shelty: Oh yeah...forgot he has no powers...but you get what I mean, they do need the batsignal. For the Supercriminals.
Daryl: Again, no they don't because as soon as one of those fuckers shows up Batman is already there!
Shelty: *Sigh* Listen to me as hard as you fucking can. He's there because they call him!

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
Daryl: You know he already knew before they did, and as soon as they flash that shit they know he's coming!
Shelty: I uh...good point.
Daryl: That's why they need someone smaller...like a bat beeper or pager or something.
Shelty: Nah, he could be getting ass or something then that shit would go off, fuck up his wholr rotation.
Daryl: Yeah, if I were Batman and fucking some chick I wouldn't stop to save nobody.
Shelty: That would mess up my day, just you know playing some X-box and then to see that, I'd be all FUCK! I gotta go guys....they callin' me..

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
Danica calls Shelty to let him know the guys are here.
Danica: Tony, The guys from Semens are here.
Shelty: Alright.
.....
Heh...Semens.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
This is my girlfriend, Dianne.
Shelty: Aw, man....I feel old..
Dianne: Why? What's wrong?
She's a sweet girl but I like to say dumb shit just to piss her off...
Shelty: My little cousin who...ain't so little anymore, just got off the phone with me asking me things about sex.
Dianne: Well in truth you're only about five years older than him. What'd you tell him?
Cause that's when the hilarity ensuses.
Shelty: *Grin* I told him to put on a condom it gives him a +6 Defense against Crabs, Aids and other STD's and also protects against the spell pregnancy.
Dianne: I don't have time for this douche baggery.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
So I got the new Crystal Method CD a few weeks ago. Legion of Boom kicks ass.
Dude, I bitorrented that long ago. If you wanted it I could've given it to you for free!
Well..you know since I like Crystal Method an all I felt to show my appreciation by you know, paying for it.
Fuck that! Fucking merchants wanting me to shell out $15-20 for some shit! Naw! That's robbery until they drop the price I will pirate shit!!
....that's not the real reason is it?
Naw man I just like to steal shit.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-11-04
This here is Ozzo. Now most anyone that knows me, knows I'm obsessed with Asian Culture.
Halogens? Check. Removed back seats? Check. Installes NOS? Check. Bass that'll make me deaf? Check.
Ever since Ozzo got his car a few years ago and turned it into a rice rocket he's gone beyond obsession, He actually BELIEVES He's Asian
Illegal Police Scanner? Check. On Board computer? Check. Neon Lights? Check. Decals and Race group stickers? Check. Penis enhancer, I mean big tail pipe? Check.
Problem is...he's Mexican.
Sup, Oz.
Konnichi wa, Bitches!

 

by Its_Shelty
6-13-04
So....work is going to suck tomorrow.
How come, babe?
Shelty: Remember that intern I told you about, the fat, ugly bastard that kept fucking annoying me? Jason? Dianne: Yeah..
Heh I never actually see you work, Tony.
Fuck you, fat boy.
Well, Fatty McFuckbag is coming back...for 6 weeks.
Jesus...if he says anything just walk away. No facial stabbings, I'm still getting the blood out of the carpet from the cable guy.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-14-04
Next day
This is some damn good water. Shit, here comes Jason
....
....
Dude....I never see you work.
YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD!!!

 

by Its_Shelty
6-14-04
Later
So then I said, I don't come to your desk and slap the dick out of your mouth! So don't tell me how to do my job! Then I punched him in the face.
I told you to just walk away!
You did?
Yes!
Cause I heard punch in the face and beat to near death.
.....

 

by Its_Shelty
6-14-04
So...you're like...fired now right?
Ha, Actually I think it was after I smashed his skull in the copier when John told me I was promoted to vice president.
...You're kidding. Damn, you were right no one does like him.
I told you and what's better is HE was fired instead of me!
For what? Catching the most spectacular ass beating in office building history?
No. For his own safety, see after I beat his ass and got promoted everyone else started doing it too.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-15-04
YES! I AM GREAT I AM THE SHIT! FUCK THE REST OF YOU! CAUSE I AM LIKE GOD OR SOMETHING!!!
ALL OF YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME DAMN IT I AM SPEAKING HERE!! WHERE'S SHAWN MARION I NEED MY DICK SUCKED! Wait, I'm Shawn Marion! I'LL SUCK MY OWN DICK CAUSE I'M THAT GREAT!!
Hey no one cares. Shut up.
*Sniff* Mommy!
God...I hate children.

 

by Its_Shelty
6-16-04
Bought fucking time you got here, I was about to go in and lead against the Hydra alone!
Look Sara, I would've been here sooner but...hey did you change your Costume or something?
Yeah! I can't wait for this to be in the actual game, there's a store in Steel Canyon called Icon you can do it there!
Fucking sweet! I've been dying to change this costume of mine, I'm starting to feel like I'm in my Pajamas!
Ok. That'll be 6204 "Influence." | Dollars Motherfucker.
Influence?

 

by Its_Shelty
6-16-04
I can't believe this shit! I work my ass of night and day to protect this fucking city from Nazi's Robots, Zombies, Fanatical priests of unfathomable power, Thugs, Goths, Ninja's, The Mafia, Aliens--
And God knows what else and you have the nerve to charge me when I want to change my costume?! Fuck that sir! I probably saved your ass one day! This is bullshit! I don't ask for much!
.....You don't have the money do you? | Then you get no costume.
No.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-02-04
6 am - *Music begins to blast*
Dianne: What the fuck is that?
Shelty: What? Huh? Oh what the fuck? It's fucking 6 in the morning I have to be at work in two hours!
Shelty gets out of bed
Dianne: Where are you going?
Shelty: Don't worry about it, I'm just gonna exchange some dialogue with our downstairs neighbor.
Later - *Music has stopped*
Dianne: You got him to turn it off?
Shelty: Well not so much me. More like the wooden bat to the skull.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-06-04
A nice session of DOA3 between Shelty and Dianne
I love this stage in DOA 3 overall I'd say it's mny favorite.
How could it not be? I mean who doesn't like bombs?
.......The Islams.
WHOOOOOOA! BA-ZING!
Woooooo! *Sigh* I'm so going to hell.
RIght with me, baby.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-06-04
This is Teamy AKA Alex. Teamy just bought himself a new computer and UT2k4 and has challenged me.
I'm so going to own Shelty in this game!
This is before we played
HAHAHAHAHA! Finally decided to play against did you!
Yeah, Yeah. But remember you were warned.
This is the aftermath
.......There is no god...

 

by Its_Shelty
7-06-04
Daryl: You know what I hate?
What man?
I hate when you see a hella good looking girl from face to neck, then you see them in full view and their ugly as sin.
...........So how ugly was she?
I wouldn't fuck her with your dick man.
I see.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-06-04
*DING DONG!*
Hey, Oz.
Konnichi wa, Dianne! Have you seen Tony? I want to show him these new tires and lights I got on my car!
Oz, I don't know why you think he likes cars cause he doe--
Then I was gonna take him out for a ride to show him how low I made it and you know for some Sushi!
God Damnit, Ozzo! You're not Asian you're a fucking Mexican!
.........You lying slut.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-06-04
Due to the rage problems Daryl has we took him to Therapy. So I let him write this comic to get his anger out on the film I, Robot.
Never has a movie made me so god damn angry, that I'm not even going to pirate it before giving a fucking review. It's gonna fucking suck.
And why will it suck? Because Hollywood is taking a classic book and ramming a rhino sized cock into it. I don't care if it's the best fucking movie of all time, I'm not thrown down money to see it!
Now Tony is going to see it because A) He likes Will Smith & B) He's a fucking idiot cause he hasn't read the book which will surely be better. Bastard.
But there is no way that dumb son of a bitch is going to get me to see this motion picture! I like Will Smith too but not even his black ass can save this shit!
Bravo, Fox. Bravo. No really I applaud you on how far you'll go to fuck up a classic, Asimov is turning in his grave. Rupert Murdoch I have some words of wisdom for you.
It doesn't take Millions of Dollars to skull fuck Issac Asimov. Just a box of condoms and a shovel.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-07-04
Hiya, My name is Tony. I'm the author behind these comics..save for that last one.
Now my comics are based around actual events and conversations in my life, usually blown out of proportion at an aim of Comedy. Which I'm told works more often than not.
However aside from using the Internet to make comics and surf for Porn and what not there is a little hovel that occupies my time called the WWEGSB.
This is a message board on a sight entitled Gamefaqs. While there I'm better known as Shelty or AtS. Now most of the people there are decent folk I get along with...or outright ignore if they annoy me
But then there are those few stricken with idiocy. Those that are either A) Fucking Dumb or B) Have their heads or the heads of others too far in their ass to cooperate.
So join me as for the next few strips I ridicule--Er Doucment these people. Will I suffer blow back? Yes, do I care? naw.

 

by Its_Shelty
7-07-04
First we see...or rather don't see. The most well known moron on our board. Simply known as 900.
Oh...eh....ugh...I knew that had four ports for a reason
Now 900 think Nintendo's Gamecube is the Alpha and the Omega of all systems and all others should be enslaved under it's Tiny Square wrath.
Really, Baby? I.....I can put it in the AC slot? Oh snap I knew you were a slut when I pulled you out the box.
Does the person behind the username truly believe this probably not. Does he do it to annoy and torment those who can't ignore him? Oh yeah. Congratulations, 900. You fail at the Internet.
OOOOOOOOH SWEET LEAPING MARIO!!!!

 

by Its_Shelty
7-07-04
Next we have Wizmatt, a recent Inductee in our moron hall of Fame.
The WWEGSB people are like Chinatown without the Chinese people, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Now Wizmatt believes he's the funniest thing to ever grace the mortal planet. He also seems to be head over heels in love with psxdude..unfortunately for him the feeling's not mutual.
Pager: PSX! Knock! Knock!|| Shoehorn!! lolololol we're pals rite?
*Sigh* Fucking Christ. What?|| Shut up Bitch.
Wizmatt's act is neither funny nor cute. Just well...fucking stupid. His "wit" couldn't power an ant's boat across a drop of water. Telegram for Wizmatt, You fail at the Internet.
.....I'm so fucking awesome.

 

by Its_Shelty
8-26-04
Dianne has something urgent to tell Tony!
You call me?
Ok...I got something important to tell you....I'm pregnant.
*Ding Dong!*
Uh....I'll get that
.....
DID I JUST HERE HER SAY SHE'S PREGNANT?! YES THE FINAL SIGN IS HERE!! I WILL WALK THE EARTH AGAIN!!
Di!!

 

by Its_Shelty
10-26-04
*Ding Dong!*
Daryl: What's up?
*Holds up copy of GTA: SA and grins*
....Fuck you.

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