All comics by Larkwind

Profile

 

by Larkwind
1-19-03
Yo my sweet young thing.. how's bout you and I head to my place?
Sweet Lord... I want to lash his flesh with my whip at this very moment.
Coo', yo'.
That sounds marvelous! Lead the way! I will follow you to the ends of the earth, my dashing Romeo!
*mumble* Gouge his eyes out with my beak... stab him in the chest with an ice pick...

 

by Larkwind
1-19-03
*ouchy*
"God DAMNIT Samantha, didn't I tell you to stop shoving FORKS into OUTLETS??"
"But the forks are so SHINY... they CALL to me Beatrice. NO NO! THE SPORKS!!!!"
"......"
"Ohhh the spork sporkyness. Steel mettalic everlasting!! GOD! GOD I TELL YOU!!!"
"Bleh. You make me stab my head!"

 

by Larkwind
1-20-03
Yo' ugly chick, what're YOU doing in the skoo' talent show??
Piss off, you pathetic waste of carbon! I am here to sing a love-ly song! It will be loooove-ly. You will CRY, it is so mightily LOVELY.
Jebus Crisp, biatch! You ugly as SIN muthafucka. LEGALIZE ABORTION!! JEEZUS!!!
This is no place for your inferior mouth-speech!! Go back to your "hood" or whatever it is you call your "home." Leave me to my PRETTY SONG.
FHECK MA!! MY EYES! MY EYEEEEEESSSS!!!! SO UGLY!!! INHUMAN BODILY DEFORMATION!!!!! AEEIIIIII!!!!!
La la la laaaa

 

by Larkwind
1-20-03
*whistle whistle*
Hey... wait a minute. WAIDAGODDAMNEDMINUTE. YOUUUU'RE that evil Microsoft Word PAPERCLIP guy.
Yes. Yes I am.
OHHH the evil you have bred since the ghastly hour of your creation! The torment upon innocent minds!! Thou shalt SUFFER ETERNAL FLAMES for thy monstrous deeds!!
It appears you are sentencing someone to Hell. Microsoft Word Help can assist you! Just click a button on the pop-up window above!
........

 

by Larkwind
1-21-03
Creepy old guys need not apply.
Are you sure you're able to take care of a baby for three whole hours?
Oh yeaaaaaah, man. It's no problem. The little guy and I'll make friends reaaal quick-like.
I don't know. You've got kind of a weird, maniacal gleam in your eye.
What? Weird?! MY PARENTS TOLD ME I WAS SPECIAL!!!! SPECIALLLLL!!!!
You know I think I'll just stay in. With the baby. You don't have to watch him, but thanks for offering and all that crap..
But you NEED me. I KNOW BABIES. They LOVE me. AND I LOVE BABIES. eheheeheh

 

by Larkwind
1-21-03
Hyee yuk!!
... Are you the entertainer we hired for our church picnic?
Weeeee OOOhh!! Yes I am! I am the Happy Bappy Buddy Bear! Hey kids, come sit on my lap! Happy Buddy Bear LOVES kids!! HEE YUK!!
*static* FZZTt *crackle*
*psst* Come sit on my lap!
WHY GOD?!?!?!!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

by Larkwind
1-30-03
Hey man, how's that skin treatment going?
Oh, it seems to be making quite a bit of progress.
Really?
Mmm... I've had a few breakouts here and there... you know, damned acne and such.
And I'm sure my arm falling off is just a side-effect. Other than that though, it's goin' good.

 

by Larkwind
5-02-03
Oh Jesus...
-cough- Hey, man... what's, er, new?
........
... Remember that skin treatment I was on?

 

by Larkwind
5-11-03
My sister up in Chicago just wrote me... says she's pregnant but she doesn't want the baby.
What the hell does THAT mean?
I guess she's going to abort it? I don't know, it's her decision, after all.
Stupid slut shouldn't have uncrossed her legs, then! Stupid! Stupid! Baby killer! *thunk*
Are you calling my sister a whore?
Nyeh nyeh nyeh, look at me, I'm an aborted fetus, nyeeh..

 

by Larkwind
5-12-03
Public service announcement
Hel-lo. My name is bEtty, and I have problems... I h. I have problems with drugs.
eeeem. I .... Recently *mumble* tablecloth I have experimented with crack, X, LSD, and marijuana all at the same time. A lot of.. peopls are. Uh. Bleeding and stuff... and chunky. What? Er....
I don't think these rooms are nice. Oh well.. Blerstf. It's better than my cardboard box in front of Subway.. Eegy eegy, where's my needle? where's my stash?... f-fuck!

 

by Larkwind
5-12-03
But, officer, how could you write a priest a speeding ticket? I speak for our Lord and Savior!
I don't think Jesus had nothin' to do with 72 mph in a 35 mph zone.
ROAARRR you will suffer ETERNAL FLAMES for this great evil!!!
Grrr
You know how many times I see this same thing in a week?

 

by Larkwind
5-12-03
Now... I'm sure we can arrange some sort of deal...
*scribble scribble*
After all, I AM the angel of death. Perhaps I could.. spare your SOUL if you simply rip up that ticket?
*scribble scribble scribble*
......... *whistle whistle* Here boy! Want a donut? GO get it! *whistle, whistle*
!!!

 

by Larkwind
5-12-03
O-kay. ...Let me explain.....

 

by Larkwind
7-28-03
Warning: Keep out of reach of children
HA!
God, I love Raid.

 

by Larkwind
7-28-03
Bang.
Uh huh. 'Cause THAT'S how it happened, all right... yeah...

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