All comics by Livewire

 

Office Assistant Meets Mr. Neep Neep. by Livewire 4-09-02
You seem to be composing a form letter. Would you like to use the wizard?		Buttfucker.

 

Jesus answers the telephone. by Livewire 4-09-02
RINGY DINGY!	RINGY DINGY! Why hast thou forsaken me...	That's better.

 

Santa gets lost. by Livewire 4-09-02
Hey, Santa...	If Rudolph is such a great leader, why are we on the moon? Uhhh...	Like you could do any better, Vixen. You slut.

 

Daft Punk - Free Streaming Video Online! by Livewire 4-09-02
Work it harder--- ---make it better---	---do it faster--- ---makes us stronger---	---more than ever, hour after--- ---hour, work is never over!

 

Gabe explores the adventures of the mind. by Livewire 4-09-02
Whooooosh....	Ka-blam!!	My imagination sucks. I wish I had a Game Cube.

 

Mikey confronts Satan. by Livewire 4-09-02
Ha! You're pretty small for a demon. I ain't afraid of you.	POOOOOOOT! I KILL YOU WITH MY DEMONIC FLATULENCE!	I may be small, but expired convenience store burritos make me mighty.

 

Steve Miller plays "The Joker" by Livewire 4-10-02
Some people call me the space cowboy... Yeh...	Some call me the gangster of love... Some people call me Maurice...	Phweet phweeoooo... 'cause I speak of the pompatus of love. What the hell is a "pompatus?" Ever considered using a dictionary, "Maurice"?

 

Just another slammed door. by Livewire 4-10-02
God DAMN my ass is itchy. Perhaps I can scratch it for you with my bayonet.		TEASE!

 

Asian Girl delivers the big speech. by Livewire 4-10-02
Ahem... may I have your attention please?	AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!	No, but you may have some of my superaccelerated particle beams. OK.

 

Tasteless and insensitive scenes from the WTC. by Livewire 4-10-02
New York City Guided Tour, September 11, 2001. 8:44am... Who lives in those two big towers? Like you'll ever find out, ya little peasant. Anyway, over here we have the Statue of Liberty...	Meanwhile, on American Airlines Flight 77... I have so many regrets...	I guess no one lives there now. Aw piss. I had a kilo of crank to sell to that guy on the 38th floor. I guess he won't be needing it now.

 

The power of thought. by Livewire 4-10-02
We create our own reality every day, through our conscious thoughts and beliefs. Really?	Serious. Okay. *Nghhhh*	Much better!

 

Regrets of an atheist. by Livewire 4-11-02
An hour and a half after doomsday... ...	...	Fuck.

 

It's not rocket science. by Livewire 4-11-02
9... 8... 7... What the f...? Good lord, there's a kid on the launch pad. Too late to abort... dear lord, she'll be incinerated!!! Oh. Oh well, that's okay. I had a full life. Mommy and Daddy will make a new Susie to love.	Officially, it was tragic. But honestly, watching that little kid's corpse get roasted was cooler than shit. Quaaaawwww. Quaaaawww.	Toll booth. Fifty gnarks please. God dammit, this is exactly why we LEFT New Jersey. Hand me my gat.

 

What's on channel 24? by Livewire 4-12-02
The lord's work doesn't come cheap, sinners. Please send your money to Jerry Falwell Ministries, care of... blablabla	Jesus has asked me in his name to solicit your generous donations of $50 or more... blablabla... blablabla What the fuck? Oh, it's on. It's on.	Your ass is mine, bitch. Your ass is mine. Oh dear. It looks like we're going to have to go to a commercial, as I seem to have made a small poopie in my shorts.

 

A War of Nutrition by Livewire 4-26-02
Ladies and gentlemen and visible minorities, please welcome President George Dubya. Ahem... my fellow Americans, it is my sad duty to inform you that we must once again arm ourselves for war.	A killer of Americans more great than any war is among us. I'm talking about obesity. Heart disease and organ failure claim hundreds of lives a day, and time has come to take action!	It's time to wipe out food!

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