All comics by LoneStarSnoop

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by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
Ben was my first boyfriend ever...
... He was an actor several years older than me who performed slam poetry in coffee shops on the weekend...
... except one weekend he slammed me in the ass instead, taking my virginity. The next morning he was told me he was just experimenting.
You deserve an Oscar for your most believable act ever, Ben... I really thought you were gay.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
About a year after Ben, there was Shawn...
... not only was Shawn my friend, but he was also my soulmate...
... they say that if you let something go, and it comes back, it will last forever, but if it does not come back, then it was never meant to be.
I let him go because he was like gravity: the world needs him to stay grounded .

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
I dated Jay about a year after Shawn...
... We lived fast paced lives, he being a college journalist and myself being a high school journalist...
... and then one day, it stopped, because I stopped it.
My head was spinning out of control... I got motion sick.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
There is this new guy Mike that I have totally fallen for, who is professional during the day, mysterious at night....
...Comfortable to be around at his place, and so charming and playful online...
... but we are hardly in contact with each other, and I am scared he might not like me that way.
I want to be with him *sniff*

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
If Warner Bros. trusted me to write their cartoons...
Ehhhh...What's up, masterbator?

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
For years, Allison was bombarded by the child-targeted advertising by Big Tobacco...
Hi Mr.Cigarette!!!
Wanna join me with my friend, Joe Camel?
... As she grew, so did the number of invitations to puff on a cancer stick...
Hey, bitch... wanna spark one up before gym?
Sure thing, mothafucka!
... And now Allison has succumbed to their call.
Gimme a cig, bitch, or I'll kick your ass!

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
One time Nicole went to the adult novelty store...
Man, I feel fishy today...
I would like to purchase this rubber pussy, please
... And then Nicole recalled a dream about how she used to wanna be a mermaid...
I have fins! I have fins!
Are you sure you are out of asian (anal) beads?!?!
... and Nicole ended up bringing one of her friends home from the adult novelty store.
I am so excited you got to come home!
I am so excited that you came!

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
Blanco Road Hotel | San Antonio, Texas...
Um, Allison, I think my tampon got jammed WAAAAYYYY up there!!!
Can I fish it out of there with my foot?
...Upon calling numerous people, Justin had the answer...
Well, why don't you just plug your ears, hold your nose and blow....
I am Derek.
*TSS (Toxic shock syndrome) is very very very serious. The author of this comic recommends every woman reads up about TSS because it can be lethal if you don't know the symptoms or how you can get it
Phew! I thought I was about to have TSS*
Thats great... wanna gimme a toe job?

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
Here come the Hottie Police!
I heard that...
This stud is under arrest for being so damned sexy!
What is this stud guilty of???
Officer, my name is Bobby and I think you are totally cute... and I am in high school in Snyder.
The charges are this: Being a charmer!
The punishment?
Am I in trouble?
Yes. Go to my room.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-20-03
The Confession...
Brandon, you aren't even Catholic, but I will let you give your confessional anyways...
Thank you...
I sort of called my friend some really negative things and he found out. We haven't talked in a long while, but, I miss him. And I am sorry. I was so messed up when I said it all and I was jealous
When the story raps up 10 minutes later...
damn...

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-21-03
An interview that will never come...
So, Kurt Cobain, what is it like to be a big time rock star?
It is pretty kick ass. But, I don't want to be a rock star forever. When I am finished with all of this, I plan on going out big... I plan on going out with a bang.
Kurt Cobain ( Feb. 20, 1967 - April 5, 1994)
Rest in peace

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-21-03
The confessional
I have no money, I have no interest in school anymore, and all I want to do is be a slacker.
It is so unlike me. I used to be such a good boy, such a good student; I was a wonderboy...
I hope I can get that spark of interest again. Or I hope the Disney people come through for me, so I can do something different for a while.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-21-03
The Confessional...
So, Allison questioned my morals today when she found out I have been speaking to Victoria.
It isn't like I am being a turncoat or that Victoria and I will soon be buddy-buddy.
It is about civility. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-22-03
Brandon and his brain (as a stick figure)
Ya know, its not easy being me.
Why do I do the things I do, Brandon, why?
When I am not overly happy as usual, I think I go into a phase that lasts a short time where I feel sorry for myself, which I totally have nothing to feel sorry about.
Woe is me!
What the hell is wrong with me?
I... hate... self-destructive... thoughts...

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-22-03
This is all true...
Hey Brandon.
Hey Kari.
I found this folder from the 8th grade, from me and kayla mercer and we used to write really stupid stuff in there
Like what?
She used to call me the Forgetful Puffin
ok.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-24-03
Brandon's Brain vs. Heart
I think that Mike just doesn't like Brandon, thats why he hasn't seen Brandon or called him in a while.
BULLSHIT!
Did you think to consider that perhaps Mike has a full-time job at the hospital, he works all the time, and that is the existance that Mike lives? Brandon understands this.
There is your eviction notice. Get the hell out.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-25-03
Here's to a day of growing...
Brandon, I need your advice...
I came to you because you have been through this all before, and I needed a friend to tell me this was going to be alright... I love ya, Brandon.
I love you, too, Caleb.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-25-03
Hey there, Shana...
... I am sorry that we haven't talked much in a while. I don't know what to say, really, but that there are so many questions left unanswered.
R.I.P. Shana (1983 - 2003)
I love you.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-27-03
If I could say one thing to them...
Ben, you totally fucked up my ability to trust some really great guys because I thought I was going to get hurt again.
Shawn, I miss you a lot -- I wish I hadn't let go of you so easily - You were the only boy I ever truly loved.
Jay, I am sorry things didn't last long between us. You were a great friend and I loved your smoochies, and it had nothing to do with you... it was all me.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
3-30-03
The Confessional
Tonight I decided it would be cool to produce my sperm to have a baby with a lesbian couple one of these days.
You see, Queer as Folk was on, and Michael was gonna be a daddy. It made me cry.
I cried happy tears. Maybe one of these days, I will hold a baby I produced.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
4-01-03
In a few years...
Hey Joel.
Hi Brandon... you know, I really loved your last movie.
You did?
Yeah, like, I have so much respect for you now, as an artist. Like, I think you are *gulp* so perfect... um.... would you like to....
YES.
[laughs] cool.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
4-02-03
FINALLY! My mood has changed... I am changing... I am growing some more!
I... am... mutating...
...what is happening to me?
Dude, Brandon's doing that weird thing that Storm does with her eyes... Uh, Brandon? Brandon? I think Brandon's dead. *sigh* I need to shit.
The new Brandon has arrived.

 

by LoneStarSnoop
4-03-03
The Hottie Police is at it again!
HEY! How you doin'?
Hey Stephen, I am so happy to meet you finally!
So like, I do the choir thing and it isn't all about sex and like, *keeps saying things that I can identify with*
You are under arrest for being too cool.
Wait! I was kidding! YOU'RE MY HERO!!! :)

 

by LoneStarSnoop
8-31-04
It has totally been a while since we last talked...
I would have started writing sooner, but I went to Disney and interned and did all sorts of things, really.
But, I am back. Openly gay. AND MORE! http://mr-realworld.diaryland.com

 

by LoneStarSnoop
8-31-04
Brandon's fiance of nine months, Eddie, is a lot like his other half...
This is my fiance, Eddie, everyone.
Hi everyone! I'm cute.
We met while I was still in Florida and we fell in love.
Yeah we did!
And, we are getting married. AND WE'RE FROM TEXAS! GO KERRY/EDWARDS!
For months, all I heard was about Dean... I hope he doesn't drop me just as quick

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