Loomis vs. The Cast of the Fast Show, Part One.

Author: Loomis

Date: September 8, 2002

by Loomis
9-08-02
Thanks for being a guest speaker on the strip, Swiss Tony. I'm sure the audience appreciates it.
Not at all, Loomis, not at all. You know... I find being a guest speaker is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
Oh, god, here we go again.
You have to feel around a bit, get a good grip on what tickles their fancy, put your finger on that which makes them cry out in pleasure.
You've got to concentrate on your timing and maintain your rhythm, while building the tension ever so gently towards the inevitable climax.
Then, at the appropriate moment, hammer your point home with enough force that they'll be rolling on the floor and gasping for breath.