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| I heard you got a job as a regional national homeland security head. How'd you manage that? | |
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| I brought in the national head of security donuts and coffee every day for a year straight. Or at least paid someone to do it. | |
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| Yeah but you don't know anything about national security, how do you expect to keep your job? | |
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| Well, all I have to do is make people FEEL safe. All you have to do to make people feel safe is make them annoyed. Watch! | |
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| Take off all your clothes, close one eye, spin around in a circle and hum yankee doodle dandy. | |
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| Whatever keeps our great country safe from the terrorists. | |
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